InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Rationals end, pi is forever."

Anders (oftwominds) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-04-05 01:28:00

Entry tags:

anders, neria surana

WHO: Anders and Neria Surana
WHAT: The Collector's latest trick has worn off and Justice has come home.
WHERE: Anders' flat.
WHEN: Night the plot ends
STATUS/RATING: Incomplete/TBD

When it first happened Anders had blacked out. It was all dreams and pain and his thoughts tearing themselves apart as Justice settled back into his mind. A surge of energy had surge through him, his skin ripping apart and mending as the fade situated itself within his mind. There was nothing to prepare for how it felt, not even having experienced it all before. All of it was not something that could be described, it had no words in this reality or really any reality. Though the fact that there were not abomination scholars probably had something to do with that.

When he came too was when he noticed that several of the light bulbs around him had shattered. The room was plunged into darkness and that was all he needed right now. Glass was scattered on the floor, a clear hazard to Lord Mewsy but all Anders could do was pull himself onto the couch and pull his knees to his chest and she closed his eyes tight. He, they, it was all together again and he disappeared and came back all at once. Memories of the first time flashed through his mind, the templars and the recognition of all that death around him, the feeling of a sword going through his chest harmlessly. It was all too much and he pushed his knees against his eyes to try and block it out.

This was how it was meant to be. All the decisions had been made and there was so much they needed to do. Even in this place, they, he would find something.

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halamshivanas
2011-04-06 11:02 pm UTC (link)

Maybe she didn't know him as well as she could. Maybe she wasn't the Commander he knew and who knew him. But she wasn't wrong about him. Neria had always seen herself as a good judge of character and that had never failed her with her Companions. Even with Jowan, he had not truly been malicious. Misguided, yes, but he had learned from his mistakes and was now doing what he could to help people. And without blood magic. Anders was a good man, and nothing he could say would convince her otherwise.

"Maybe I don't know you as well as I should," she said with a sigh, "but I know the man I met in this place is not a monster. You help at the clinic and you have a soft spot for kittens and your sense of humour is a bit ridiculous. And, most importantly, you care. You care about the suffering of others to the point that you would sacrifice yourself for them." She reached up, covering one of his hands with hers. "I stand by what I said before. You are a good man, Anders. And, despite your best efforts, I do not fear you."

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oftwominds
2011-04-07 12:54 am UTC (link)

Why did she have to make this so difficult? Though he knew why, it was because she was the commander and she always led him into trouble. But he always followed when she called, until he could no longer stay by her side. That was just how it worked. It was why Anders somehow felt the need to follow Hawke when she called. That sort of person, that bit of a guiding light that he lacked even with all the purpose that drove him now.

His head tilted forward, pressing their foreheads together and he just tried to think. Why did she always make it so difficult? Even in Amaranthine, before this whole mess, he just followed her into places that he never would have dared before. She overpowered his thoughts in a way that was unsettling. "I'm just going to break your heart, Neria. You shouldn't put so much trust in me."

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halamshivanas
2011-04-07 11:03 pm UTC (link)

The conversation felt as if it were going in circles, like so many discussions she'd had with Sten during their travels. Only instead of the worth of women as warriors or the role of mages in society or anything other topic upon which she and the Qunari had disagreed, this was focused on her feelings. And, therefore, she couldn't just let the topic drop however frustrating it might be. No matter what Anders might say, she saw the good in him. It was no different than her ability to trust and care from any of her companions who had questionable pasts or who could be dangerous. However dangerous he might think himself, she knew she could trust him.

Moments like this made her want to help him, to make his life easier somehow. They also made her stomach twist in knots. She was developing feelings for him, and she wasn't quite sure how to process that. She was afraid if she told him, he would push her away and she wasn't sure she could handle that. It was one thing to have friendship rejected. It was quite another to be denied in that respect. Still, when he said things like this, she could almost hope.

"Maybe you will," she said, "and maybe you won't. But I have never been the sort to live my life in the fear of what may come to pass. Perhaps this will lead me to unhappiness. Perhaps it won't. All I know is that cutting you out of my life will hurt me. And that is a certainty. The way I see it, the odds are better choosing to keep you in my life."

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