InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "lion lion lion lion"

arrogant_black (arrogant_black) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-03-23 09:21:00

Entry tags:

ariadne, eames, regulus black

Who: Reg, Ariadne, and Eames
What: Regulus has an 'OMGWTFBBQ' moment and in a surprising turn of events seeks help from a human source and rather than a mineral source.
When: Tonight, right after this
Where: Ariadne's flat
Rating/Warnings: High, swearing and most likely discussions of past abuse
Status: In progress

Regulus read Sirius' text, '...and don't do anything stupid,' and knew his usual fall back plan for dealing with something of this mind crushing magnitude was right out. His brother would be watching him for any sign that he would slip off to find a motel somewhere, and would most likely take some kind of active measure to prevent even the purchase of the stuff Regulus wanted most. Fucking sodding... When did Sirius start 'caring'? And how could Regulus have been so fucking stupid, getting drunk enough to yap his mouth about things no one should ever know?

He paced his room in an indecisive flurry. He made frequent glances at his PDA, as if that might suddenly present him with all the right answers. It did not, and with each passing second he didn't know what to do his frustration increased until he was more than indecisive, he was in an out right panic. And suddenly he couldn't breathe, his chest constricted in a way he'd never felt before and he was unsure of how to handle it. He just knew the room was suffocating. He needed to get out of his room, out of the building and into fresh air. And for all of the two minutes that it took him bolt from his room and out of the building and to turn north, a randomly chosen direction, he didn't give a flying fuck what his brother threatened, he needed something, anything to still his racing heart and push back the rush of panic.

The late winter cold air was a slap in the face but the sharp pain was welcome compared to the inability to breathe before. It gave him confidence, maybe he could get away with this despite his obvious disadvantages. And he pressed onward, fully focused on one thing and rather oblivious to his surroundings, like of the people he was passing, or running into even.

The tiny woman should have been flattened, but was saved an arse to pavment introduction because of the fleeting recognition Regulus had, first thinking it was Juno, but then quickly noticing the lack of pregnant belly. Ariadne.

"Sorry," he said in a rush, his voice unsteady as he was at the moment, and he hastily reached to catch her so she didn't fall, "I have to-"

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labyrinthine
2011-03-24 12:22 am UTC (link)

"That will never stop being weird," Ariadne told Eames as she walked past him and into her room. Her coat and shoes were both chucked into the room - much as it dismayed Arthur, she was far from tidy - and she padded back into the living room pulling a hoodie on over her tee shirt. Neal had convinced her to buy plenty of lovely and fashionable clothes, but she felt the need for a bit of comfort for what was sure to be an awkward conversation. Regulus hadn't exactly seemed like he wanted to chat about pleasant nothings.

"Why don't you make us some tea to start with?" she asked, coming over and giving Eames a light kiss in greeting before sitting on the couch. From there she looked up expectantly at Regulus, waiting for him to sit down and start talking.

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arrogant_black
2011-03-24 01:02 am UTC (link)

Weird was the correct word for what Regulus just witnessed. First Eames pretending to be someone different and then he and Ariadne kissing. The former Regulus just marked down to Eames being Eames, the latter, Regulus couldn't figure out how these two, both having feelings for someone else the last Regulus knew, were now so familiar with each other to do that, something people did in a relationship. Weird. But as far as displays of affection went it wasn't over the top and therefore not gross. So as long as the two didn't feel a need for a further, more engrossing demonstration Regulus was fine with not addressing the act at all.

He moved to take a seat in the sitting room. And as he sat he realized he'd not objected to Eames being there. After mulling it over in his mind he decided against asking him to leave, because Regulus didn't think anyone was actually capable of keeping mum on anything, and Eames would know about this before the weeks end - which isn't to say Regulus meant the assumption as a put down, he just considered it human nature. And because such he might as well be the one to say it.

He didn't speak when he first sat down, where to start eluded him. Well, no, starting was easy. "I did something stupid." He stared at his fidgeting hands, knew they gave away his nervousness but as he was already holding so much down he couldn't spare the focus it would take to calm his hands. "I went drinking with Sirius, and... you know how you and tequila... ya."

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labyrinthine
2011-03-24 01:43 am UTC (link)

Ariadne didn't give the kiss a second thought as she turned to Regulus, watching him but trying not to stare. It was already such a part of their routine that it was difficult to second-guess any displays of affection. But as she focused on Regulus she waited for him to explain what had been going on. She was already frowning when he mentioned what he'd been doing. Encouraging the Black brothers to get along was one thing, but introducing alcohol to the mix just seemed like asking for trouble.

She attempted a smile when he brought up her drink of choice. "You got really inappropriate?"

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arrogant_black
2011-03-24 01:55 am UTC (link)

"Inappropriate?" Regulus looked up wide-eyed and horrified as his mind went right to the Mistletoe Incident between him and Sirius, as it had when Sirius first breached the topic of their drunken conversation. "What? No."

"Uh," he had to search for the right words, because clearly they were on different wavelengths here, "overly chatty, to the point of spilling secrets you don't ever intend to share. Ever." He put tremendous emphasis on 'ever', driving home how this was a bad, bad thing.

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	labyrinthine 2011-03-24 02:27 am UTC (link)
	Oh, crap, that was clearly the wrong thing to say. "I think spilling secrets can count as inappropriate," she offered, shrugging and trying to look placating. "So... you told him some things you didn't want to share. With him? Or with anybody? You don't have to tell me," she hastened to add, "but... I mean, how bad was it?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

arrogant_black
2011-03-24 02:47 am UTC (link)

It was reassuring to know that he'd explained that well enough to be understood. And Ariadne had a point, drunken secret sharing did fall under the umbrella of 'inappropriate', Regulus could see now it was foolish to jump to the conclusion she meant something worse. Because, eww, this was Sirius, his brother, they were talking about.

Regulus scrubbed at his eyes, which gave his nervous, constantly moving fingers an opportunity to do something. "I told him things I didn't want him to ever know. Because it's bad, not just what it is but the potential he now has to use it against me."

Regulus still believed that this peace between him and Sirius was only temporary, it would end as spectacularly as it had in the past, only this time Regulus had handed his brother the means to hang him right on an ornate silver platter, so to speak.

"The aftermath of That Saturday bad." The fight between the brothers was sure to be expansive but Regulus wasn't referring to that necessarily, he was referring to how he'd respond to it, and knowing how he'd responded to things in the past he could only imagine what he would do to himself if what he'd told Sirius was ever turned back against him, "But worse, multiplied by ten- no not exaggerated enough, exponentially worse."

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labyrinthine
2011-03-24 03:04 am UTC (link)

Ariadne bit her lip as she listened. "If he does, I'll..." She trailed off. Revenge against a wizard would be complicated, and she liked Sirius, but bullying your younger brother as viciously as Sirius habitually did was too much.

Her stomach turned over at the clarification of just how bad things were, the memory of Regulus covered in blood rising to her mind's eye all too easily. "Shit. I'm sorry. Is there... You don't have to tell me." It seemed important to keep stressing that. Part of her really didn't want to know, even if she had no idea how to reassure him and calm him down without having a clue as to what he was talking about. She put her hand down on the couch cushion between them, not moving to touch him but making the possibility of contact available.

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arrogant_black
2011-03-24 03:22 am UTC (link)

"I'm not sure what to do," he said from behind his fists balled in front of his mouth. "If I could I would erase his memory of it." And that was saying a lot for Regulus. Memory altering was a serious thing in the magical world, you didn't do it lightly, and in most cases it was, if not illegal, extremely frowned upon. But he was a bit desperate.

He did notice Ariadne's hand, but decided to leave it for the moment, not ready to really open up to comforting touch at that point.

"You know, I've thought about erasing it, all of it, from my own memory, but..." But Regulus was held back for a number of reasons, the first being it was his mind and messing around like that was as off putting as it was to do it to someone else. He would also have to confront those memories enough to extract them, and he knew he couldn't do more than work at keeping them in the dark shadows of his mind. "Well," he snorted, "and now I can't even do that." Being magicless did limit his options in that regard.

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labyrinthine
2011-03-24 03:47 am UTC (link)

"Could you?" she asked, looking at him intently in a way that probably would have reminded Eames or Arthur of Cobb. "I mean, would it even work to do the spell on yourself?" Maybe distracting him by talking about magic would get him to relax enough to unbend a little, get his hands away from his mouth.

At this point she wasn't sure if it was even worth suggesting her next idea. "Well... we wouldn't be able to erase it from your mind, I don't think what we do works that way, but... maybe we'd be able to help. Change the memory, or something. If we shared a dream with you, I mean."

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arrogant_black
2011-03-24 04:07 am UTC (link)

"Sure, you can do all sorts of memory modification magic on yourself. Just... doing anything other than organization or defense is a great deal more tricky and often frowned upon." Regulus found the subject distracting but also potentially problematic as it made him confront the reality that he no longer had magic.

And then Ariadne was suggesting something that took his mind away from the lack of magic issue. "Wha- Uh, oh, I don't know." Because then they would see and know what those memories were about, and what had happened to him. "No offense, but if I don't want Sirius to know why would I show someone else?"

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dream_bigger
2011-03-24 10:17 am UTC (link)

Eames had stayed close to the kitchen doorway as he waited on the kettle boiling, listening carefully to everything Reg was saying. He dug out the secret stash of Jaffa cakes he'd hidden in the place and then made tea for everyone, working as quickly as he could. He lifted the Jaffa cakes and stuck the box under his arm, then lifted all three mugs and carried everything into the living room. The drinks were handed out, and then he tore open the biscuits and offered Reg one first.

The similarities between Reg and Sirius were astounding, sometimes, but then again, they were both very much products of their home environment. "Sirius said much the same thing when we offered him this. So I'll use a similar metaphor. We don't have to go through your memories to tidy them up. When you went to your school, you carried all your belongings in a trunk, am I correct? You didn't have to go through everything, one by one. Nobody saw what was in the trunk, just that you had one. It would be the same thing here. You'd put your memories into a box for safe-keeping, and then we'd build somewhere safe for you to store it in. You can visit the memory whenever you want, but it's not spilling all over the rest of... Well. Everything," he said, staying on his feet and pacing as he spoke. "And most importantly for you, you'd be the only person who would know what went in the box, unless you decide to share."

He paused and looked over at Reg, careful to keep even the slightest hint of anything other than strict professionalism from showing in his voice or body language. Ariadne could be the kind compassionate person for this, but Eames thought Reg would prefer for him to be strictly business. "This is what I've been offering you from the start, you know. Even if you're doing nothing more than considering this, it's a good thing, Reg."

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arrogant_black
2011-03-24 01:16 pm UTC (link)

Regulus took the offered biscuit because it was polite but he didn't eat it, he was far beyond the point that putting solids in his stomach was a good idea. Instead he turned the thing over in his fingers to release his nervous energy.

How did such things from different worlds work on people from other worlds? Regulus was an exceptional occlumens and legilimens, he'd started training as soon as he had learned how, and that was some years ago. He'd managed to safely catalog and store away the memories of his life prior to taking the Mark. Those ones could be brought up, examined and put away at will, or forgotten about completely. It was probably one reason he didn't get so incensed when talking about his mother the way his brother did.

But he couldn't revisit those memories from his time as a Death Eater the conscious fashion required for organization. He just simply couldn't bring himself to face those memories again. And because of that during that time his focus had been one thing only, keeping others out of his mind. Those memories were simply shoved behind defenses where they mulled around and occasionally showed up in dreams, or because of an outside trigger.

He was skeptical, to say the least that his memories could be just shoved somewhere where they would no longer be a bother.

Regulus looked from Eames to Ariadne. "Again, no offense, but I don't know how what you two can do would be any different from what I've already done."

Of course, things had been worse since he'd returned from the dead without his magic. Was it worth considering if nothing else things returned to how they were before he'd died?

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labyrinthine
2011-03-26 03:31 pm UTC (link)

"What you've already done hasn't worked, Regulus," Ariadne replied, gesturing with her Jaffa cake. "I mean, that much is obvious. And you've managed to get through it so far by being really lucky, and having people catch you before something irreversible happens, but how long is that going to hold out? Maybe trying something new will work better. Maybe having someone help you will give the protections the reinforcement they need."

Maybe she was being a little too blunt. "Look, we don't have to go grab Morpheus and start right now. We could go into one of my dreams first, or Eames, so you can get used to the idea. But will you at least consider it?" And then she popped the entire Jaffa cake in her mouth to prevent her from saying anything else and making it worse.

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