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Tweak says, "Bat Country rox!"

ɴᴇʀɪᴀ ꜱᴜʀᴀɴᴀ (halamshivanas) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-03-14 22:26:00

Entry tags:

anders, neria surana

Who: Neria and Anders.
What: Talking about serious business.
Where: Neria's flat.
When: After this.
Rating: TBD.
Status: In progress.

Neria was concerned about Anders. Yes, she hardly knew him beyond the stories she had heard in the tower, but there was something about him that drew her to him. And that was just from a conversation on the network. Maybe it was the fact that he was another mage, another person who had lived in the Tower and truly understood what their kind went through every day. Maybe it was the fact that he was another Grey Warden. Maybe it was the fact he had made her laugh in a way few could these days. She wasn't sure what it was really, but she felt a kinship with him. And that's why the outburst on the network had worried her, scared her even.

She could have sworn that when she'd heard that other voice Anders's eyes had glowed blue. That did not bode well, and she sincerely hoped it was not what she feared. She knew it was perhaps dangerous to speak to the man alone, when there was every chance he could be a danger, but she had faith in herself and her abilities. Besides, he had wished to speak alone and she would not deny him the opportunity to explain herself. Both Wynne and Morrigan had taught her that one could not always judge a situation solely on how it appeared. Though he seemed to be an abomination, that might not be the case.

She was just finishing the tea when a knock came to the door. Setting it and a pair of cups on the table, she smoothed the skirt of her robes and went to the door. Though she typically dressed in the more modern manner of the time in public, she still her robes in private. It just felt more comfortable to wear something familiar. Opening the door, not honestly sure what to expect, she looked up at Anders. Well...he was tall, that was certain. But most people were, compared to her. He looked much nicer in person than he had on the network, but she supposed that was to be expected. She smiled softly and couldn't resist reaching up to brush her fingers along the feathers on his jacket. "It's very...lively," she said after a moment, quickly pulling her hand back as she realised it was hardly appropriate. "I think I rather like it...even if it does look terribly complicated. How do you manage all those buckles. If the circle taught me anything, it was that robes really are terribly practical."

She noticed she was really off track and stopped, colouring slightly. "Please...come in," she said finally. "Are you all right? I must admit I was...worried."

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oftwominds
2011-03-16 02:25 am UTC (link)

"No, no. It's. Just I wasn't really expecting it. Just a bit... out of the ordinary." Anders breathed as he looked over at the Commander. He had to keep reminding himself that she was not his Commander yet. But at the same times she was. She just needed a bit more time to cook maybe and then she would be the person who not only saved his life but someone he had been willing to follow into the bowels of the Mother's lair itself. "He is me. I'm him. But there's some, I'm not really sure how to explain it. There are times where I'm not myself. And times where he's not himself. We're both, well, new at this."

It was a bit hopeless to try to explain to someone really. Really Anders did not rightly know himself. But it was what it was, explanation or not.

"I have seen what it's like." Anders shook his head, continuing to just watch his tea as he held it in his hands. "I've, well, I've left Ferelden. Moved to Kirkwall. I've been working as a healer for the refugees of the blight. Though really, it's anyone who can't afford an actual healer. There are so many of them, and they're treated so horribly. Darktown is worse than the Alienage there."

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halamshivanas
2011-03-16 05:19 am UTC (link)

"It is out of the ordinary for someone to wish to comfort you or show you compassion?" Neria asked, surprised and a little upset on Anders's behalf. It just seemed wrong somehow. Anders was a good man, and he had been nothing but kind since she had met him. Surely others could see that as well. And if not, she truly pitied them. But perhaps she trusted too easily. Morrigan had certainly said as much on more than one occasion. She dropped her hands to her lap, feeling embarrassed. She wasn't big on touching people herself, but it had just seemed like he needed it. "But I do not wish to make you uncomfortable, so I will try not to...do that again."

It sounded complicated and confusing, but she felt like she understood at least a little. "It must be difficult, for the both of you," she said softly. "But to be willing to do that...both to help a friend and to aid a cause...even though I don't know you as well as you would like, I really admire you, Anders. There are not many who would do that."

"I didn't mean to put it like that," she said. "I'm sure you've seen injustice aplenty...both of you. I haven't been to Kirkwell, but I've heard things. I cannot even imagine what it must be like there. Especially a place worse than an alienage. I did not believe such a thing could exist." The one good thing about the Circle was that it got her out of the alienage.

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oftwominds
2011-03-16 06:20 am UTC (link)

"Both, maybe?" Anders sighed, setting the cup down since he seemed to come to the conclusion there was no way he was going to be able to drink anything. Why did this remind him so much of when Hawke had shown up at his clinic what felt like just the other day? People reaching out, it seemed like such a foreign concept. But he reached out all the time, at least to his patients. "It's for the best though. I'm, I'm not someone that you should be wanting to comfort. No good will come from it."

A bit of a smile tugged at his lips when she said she admired him. It was such an odd thing to hear from the Commander of all people. She defeated the blight, the first Grey Warden to ever do so and live. He had seen her bring down broodmothers, defeat demons, and brave the fade. "It's kind of you to think I'm admirable."

"Well, Darktown isn't the Deep Roads. But that's about all it's got going for it."

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halamshivanas
2011-03-16 06:38 am UTC (link)

"Well...then clearly people are far too foolish for me to possibly understand them," Neria said decisively. She knew she had something of a tendency toward picking up strays as it were, but it had always worked out in the past. "You know," she said with a smile, "I don't know if you know this, but I'm told I don't have much sense when it comes to the company I keep. Let alone those I care about. An ex-templar bastard prince, a Witch of the Wilds, a former Orlesian spy, a Qunari murderer, a very slightly deceased mage, an Antivan Crow who tried to kill me, and a drunken dwarf? Really, what's one dashing apostate added to that list? Even one with a spirit living in his head. So stop trying to discourage me. I am very stubborn when I want to be."

"It isn't kindness," she told him. "It's good sense. Anyone with a brain could see your good qualities. And that's without even taking into account your daring escapes from the Circle. Perhaps your friend wasn't so far off with the brooding hero thing."

She wrinkled her nose. "I cannot even imagine it," she said. "But it sounds perfectly dreadful."

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oftwominds
2011-03-16 08:56 pm UTC (link)

Anders shook his head, a weak and weary smile still there. It was so hard to explain, especially to a woman that at one point in his life he had been close to. In fact it really was not all that long ago for him, though longer than he would have liked. Back when he was just one person and he could actually stand to have things like attachments to people. But now, not now. Now he was a man who existed for his mission, that was what him and Justice were to do. This place though, ripped away from all of that, he had no idea what he was supposed to do here.

This was a world with no Chantry, a world where it seemed mages were allowed to roam about relatively free. Or at the very least they were as bound as any other person here. It was almost enough to think that things could be different. But he knew that was an idle thought. He would have to return to Thedas at some point.

"Your good sense is just going to get you hurt. And you're the last person I want to do that to, Commander." Anders admitted honestly. He was what he was and that was someone who would hurt people. Sure they were removed from their world but that did not take away everything else. It was simply a reprieve, a place where he could figure out what to do back home, hopefully.

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halamshivanas
2011-03-17 02:54 am UTC (link)

Neria could see something in his face that mirrored the feelings she had in her heart. Here, away from the Blight and her duty, she felt as one adrift in a tide. In Ferelden there had been a surety, a purpose which drove her. Here, she was left with only worries and regrets, both numerous and heavy in her heart. "It's difficult, isn't it?" she asked him, looking down at her hands. "Losing the certainty...the ease that comes with knowing exactly what it is you have to do? In Ferelden, I had a duty to the Grey Wardens, to slay the Archdemon and end the Blight. It gave me a sense of purpose. Now...in this place...I feel like I've lost that." She looked over at him. "Is that how it is for you? Without the cause that brought you and Justice together?"

She sighed. "You're stubborn," she said, "but you'll find I'm worse than you are in that regard. I am very resilient, Anders, and I know how to look after myself. I think you're giving yourself little credit. You won't hurt me, because it isn't something you want to do. Besides, I'm stronger than I look. I want to be a friend to you. And I would be very hurt if you refused me that." She smiled. "So...since you don't wish to hurt me, I'm afraid you're stuck. Wouldn't you say so?"

She got to her feet. "Now," she said, "perhaps it's a bit soon, but I have a problem that I believe you are best suited to solving for me. If you'll give me just a moment." She went back to her room and came back out with a kitten in her arms. "The little thing has taken to coming around," she explained, "and I would hate to leave him to fend for himself, but it wouldn't be wise to have such a small creature around my hound." She smiled. "Do you think you could perhaps be of some assistance, Anders?"

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oftwominds
2011-03-17 06:36 am UTC (link)

"I'm not sure yet, I've only just arrived." Anders shook his head, reaching up and pressing his fingers to his forehead to ward off that inching pain that seemed to ghost around the edges of his mind. Justice was a spirit, an embodiment of all that Justice meant. Justice could not just stand idly by and wait, which meant that no longer could he. Without purpose, existence was meant to have purpose. Even within the fade there was purpose. And now here, this might all be enough to drive him mad.

Well, more mad than he already was.

Chuckling just so slightly, he managed to give her another smile. Smiles used to come so easy for him, they were almost his default expression. Now they were rare and his Commander yet again seemed able to bring them out in him. "You can't say I didn't warn you, Commander."

"A problem?" Frowning just slightly, Anders watched her as she got up and left the room. What possible problem could she have that someone she just met would be able to solve? She barely knew him, as it were.

And then she walked out, a kitten in her arms. For a moment Anders felt like his heart stopped. It was an almost chilling feeling of deja vu, seeing this replaying. The scenery was different, she was different, the cat was different, but it was all so much the same. "I." his voice caught up in his throat as his eyes went wide, just staring at the kitten that was looking back at him with those big kitteny eyes. "It's a kitten!" he finally managed, the most obvious response possible.

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halamshivanas
2011-03-17 07:39 am UTC (link)

"I still don't know how to handle it," Neria admitted with a small, slightly embarrassed smile, "though I have been here since the end of Firstfall. I mean...it is nice, I suppose, to be in a place where people...most people, anyway...do not judge me for being a mage or an elf, but everything here is so strange and I cannot stop thinking about Ferelden. I have a duty and there are people who will suffer if I do not return." She sighed. "I've been doing my best to keep busy, to keep my mind off it, but it is difficult."

"You have a nice smile," she said, when he graced her with the rare expression. "You should do that more often. And I really am dreadful at minding warnings. Always have been." She looked at him for a moment, tilting her head. "You know, Anders, you really do suit the tragic but dashing hero persona, what with the coat and the hair and the...rugged handsomeness. Add an earring and it would be just about perfect."

She couldn't help the laugh that escaped at his pronouncement. Holding the kitten out to him, she gave him a warm smile. "It is indeed a kitten," she confirmed. "A stray kitten who needs someone to look after him. If I weren't afraid Dane might eat him, or Morrigan, I'd let him stay with me. But I wouldn't want to risk it. And so I need to find someone who will look after him and won't mind my visiting. Please, Anders?"

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oftwominds
2011-03-17 08:25 am UTC (link)

"Well, if I go mad, at least you'll know why?" he mused lightly. Though there was a seriousness to it still. Justice did not do well without a fight. Even before they had merged, he had always been seeking out his next task, the next injustice. It was the driving force of his existence. Without it what would he do?

"You think I'm ruggedly handsome?" Anders' smile definitely veered more towards a grin at that little revelation. What could he say, having his ego stroked was never a bad thing, right? Chuckling again, he shrugged just slightly. "I used to have one actually." he explained, reaching up and feeling where the hole had been in his ear. "Got rid of it a while ago, sadly. Had one when you knew me though."

Tentatively he reached out, taking the small creature into his hands. Bringing it in close, he looked down at the kitten, cradling it gently against his chest. "I certainly wouldn't mind you visiting at all." he replied, still utterly transfixed by the kitten in his arms. "You can stay with me. And we won't have to take you into the Deep Roads. And the Wardens won't think you're making me too soft either." he babbled to the cat, barely remembering that he was actually talking instead of just thinking.

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halamshivanas
2011-03-17 12:22 pm UTC (link)

"I hope that you do not go mad," Neria said seriously. "It must be even worse for you than for me. I have met Fade spirits and if Justice is anything like them...he's single-minded. He exists to be justice. To not have that cause to fight...I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for him."

Neria coloured slightly, wishing he hadn't latched on to that part. "You know you're handsome," she told him. "You hardly need me to confirm it." When he said he used to have an earring, she wasn't especially surprised. It just seemed to suit him. "Another thing the Wardens made you give up?" she asked. "Or did you simply grow tired of it?"

She couldn't help but smile at the picture Anders made, cuddling a kitten and speaking to it as if it was just another person. Okay, perhaps giving the handsome, charming mage a small furry animal had not been the best of ideas, but he seemed genuinely happy. She wondered how long it had been since that was the case. She giggled, not a laugh but and actual giggle, softly to herself as she watched them. "You two seem to be getting along quite nicely," she said with a fond smile. "I'm glad." She forced herself to take her eyes off the adorable pair and began cleaning up the tea. "Have you any idea what you'll call him?"

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oftwominds
2011-03-19 10:14 pm UTC (link)

"We'll see how we handle it, I guess." Anders shrugged. There was nothing he could do about it, at least not right now. Perhaps if he managed to get back into that library there might be a way to get home. He was needed there. Who knew if this was actually out of time at all, he needed to be back in Thedas to continue the work he was starting in Darktown.

"Do I know I'm handsome though?" he teased slightly with a brightening grin. Anders was not sure he had ever heard the Commander compliment him like that. Maybe the whole becoming Commander of the Grey had led to her less likely to say things like that to people. Or maybe there was someone else by the time he met her, he had no idea. When she asked about the Wardens though his smile dimmed just a little. "It was a bit of a combination, I guess you could say."

Anders was already rubbing the soft fur of the kitten's stomach, already completely bewitched by this tiny little creature. "I'm a cat person. Cats always like me." he smiled as he watched his new kitten. "I think I'll call him Lord Mewsy."

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halamshivanas
2011-03-20 09:56 pm UTC (link)

"Well, if you need someone to talk to," Neria said, "I can be a good listener. I know I am not what you were expecting - I'm not the Commander you knew, and I'm sorry for that - but I can be a friend if you let me. I want to be a friend to you, Anders." He seemed like someone who needed all the friends he could get, and she had always been drawn to the strays and the lost causes. Some might call it a character flaw, but she simply considered it a way of making interesting friends.

Maker's breath, she could not stop blushing. It was embarrassing. "I heard more than enough stories about you in the Tower," she said at last, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear in a nervous gesture. "You definitely know you're handsome." She noticed the way his demeanour changed at the mention of the Grey Wardens, and she wondered what his experiences with the group had been like. "The only Wardens I have ever known were Duncan and Alistair...and neither of them were...conventional, I guess you could say. I suppose it must be different, dealing with the Order."

Anders really was terribly sweet with the kitten, and she couldn't help feeling a bit fond of him as she watched. "I can see that," she said. "You do seem to have a way with them." She giggled at the name, not entirely surprised given his other cats had been named 'Mister Wiggums' and 'Ser Pounce-a-lot'. "I think it suits him."

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oftwominds
2011-03-22 05:03 am UTC (link)

"I still don't think you know what you're getting into, but I've never been good at telling you no, Commander." Anders chuckled, a tinge of sadness still there. Yes she had told him not to call her that but in Anders mind that was as much her name as Neria. Just because she had not lived it yet did not mean that she was not that same woman, the woman that he followed to the bowels of the earth and back.

Anders stroked his chin thoughtfully at that little tidbit. He knew that his escape attempts were given to be gossiped about, he did not know other things were. Then again it was not as if he was given to being discreet. The Circle's gossip was nothing he had ever been good at keeping track of, mostly because he was in solitary confinement more often than not when he was at the tower. "What sort of stories? I'm very curious." he mused with a slight smile. As for the Wardens, well, Neria would learn about the rest of the order soon enough. "I liked being one well enough when it was just you and me. And the others you brought together.... I miss Nathanial, oddly."

"It does suit him, doesn't it?" Anders chuckled, smiling with genuine happiness down at Lord Mewsy. "What do you think, Lord Mewsy?"

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