InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Nobody put Tweak in the corner"

arrogant_black (arrogant_black) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2011-03-09 17:12:00

Entry tags:

!closed, *log, regulus black, sirius black

Who: Reg and Sirius
What: Getting drinks together
When: Tonight
Where: A local pub
Rating/Warnings: This DID escalate! So, swearing, and then mentions of past sexual abuse
Status: In progress, closed

Regulus was really doing nothing. It looked like he was playing video games, but in actuality he was only pressing random buttons from time to time as the little characters drove around in there go-karts. His mind was a bit numb from thinking of the same thing over and over. His brother wanted 'something' between them again. Regulus wasn't sure what that 'something' was, or if he was willing to give it. Thus far his consternation seemed a bit unfounded. They had talked once, through text, which wasn't much of an outreach. But he wasn't an idiot, and one awkward, albeit anger free, chat wasn't exactly a banner of healthy brotherly relations. Basically Regulus was waiting for the shite to hit the fan, again, and the unequal distribution there of to unfairly coat him more than any other.

The knock at the door cut through the mess of his thoughts and the sounds from the television. Regulus gave serious thought about not getting it. Though the time to play Vacant Flat was long since passed, what with the volume of the video game up and all. In the end he paused his game, which really just him losing another race and letting the preset story filler take over for a moment, and got up.

The person behind the door was a surprise and a strike at the heart of Regulus' current problem. This was a bad omen, he decided. It was evening, what could Sirius Black possibly want right now?

"When did you learn to knock?" he said to his brother.

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pad_foot
2011-03-20 11:22 pm UTC (link)

"See?" Sirius spun back to the girl behind the bar, wolfish grin splashed over his face. "He's fine. I'm fine. You're fine. Everyone's fine!"

"He doesn't know what rum is," 'Anna' the barmaid pointed out, and Sirius rolled his eyes, leaning over the bar until his face was just that fraction too close to hers.

"He's lived a sheltered life," he smiled. "He's not a man of the world like me." Sirius paused, offering the girl his best (slightly bloodshot and unfocused) puppy dog eyes. "Pleeease, Anna?"

A moment later and Sirius was waltzing back to their table, balancing two shots of rum in one hand and two more pints in the other. During his very unsteady journey back to his sibling, Sirius decided he'd be much better at waiting on tables than James could ever be. He'd be a hell of a lot more charming, at least. But then, when was he ever not?

"Oi," Sirius slid an empty glass from under his brothers nose and replaced it with the shot of rum. "See that off." Then he was clambering awkwardly back into his own seat, throwing back his own smaller drink before handing out the pints. "We only got these because I used to shag the girl behind the bar," he pointed out, lifting his own drink to his lips. "You better appreciate the effort I go to."

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arrogant_black
2011-03-20 11:45 pm UTC (link)

Regulus didn't hear the exchange at the bar, he was too far away and he was very engrossed in his empty glass. However, it wasn't as if he would have minded. Everything he felt sort of sloshed around a mote of alcohol before reaching his brain in a rather diluted and cut thin manner. Every thought had a faint but warm and inviting glow about it. This was a nice place to be.

In his present condition he looked up congenially, if a bit slowly, at his brother when Sirius retook the seat across from him. He accepted the two drinks without complaint and threw back the shot like his brother did and learned he liked rum, though, he would forget that revelation come morning.

He was reaching for the pint when his brother brought up the woman behind the bar and what she used to shag, or was it what Sirius used to shag. The thought was ill formed, either way it went in, and if Regulus had been sober he would have reacted more violently than he did. As it stood at the moment Regulus only grimaced and said, "Ew, gross, don't be crass."

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pad_foot
2011-03-21 12:28 am UTC (link)

Sirius rolled his eyes as he took a huge gulp of beer. He was quite enjoying himself, weirdly. He hadn't really expected to. Sirius had approached this whole thing with much the same air he'd approached most of his exams. Like it was something he just had to do. Resigning himself to just ploughing through it, using all the energy he could summon to make it bearable and hopefully not getting too much detention in the process. But it wasn't too bad. For the first time in years, Sirius almost felt like an older brother again. Probably not a very good one, looking at the state of Regulus, but never mind. What did people expect, really?

"It's just sex, Regulus," he pointed out, perhaps revealing a bit of a personal flaw as he did so. "It doesn't have to mean anything. You just need to stop being so..." He stopped, thinking up a word, before settling thoughtfully on one. "... prudish."

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arrogant_black
2011-03-21 06:41 am UTC (link)

Regulus waved off his brother's accusation. "I'm not prudish, I don't care what you do, I just don't want to hear about it."

And that was a good enough answer if Regulus had left it there. But he now fixated on the idea that he was prudish, which wasn't a label he would use for himself as his personal hangups didn't extend to limiting the choices or activities of others. More like he was asexual with a strong aversion to his own participation in such activities, even talking about those activities.

"I'm not prudish," he said again. And because he was drunk and his mind was swimming in a sense-dulling solution he rambled on without really considering what he was saying. "I mean I used to like sex. I was fourteen, okay, almost fifteen, the first time and from there I really couldn't see a reason to stop." He chuckled to himself as the memories of those years swam up to the front of his consciousness. "Girls, boys, whatever, whenever. The only rule was just don't get caught so She would know. You know?"

And then the smile fell as other memories came up and mixed with the good. And against his better, sober judgment, because he wasn't clear headed at all at the moment, he kept talking. "But he made it not fun." He dropped his head to drink from the glass while it rested on the table and into the glass he said, "Blackhurst." Sober Regulus didn't know if his brother would recognize the name, Blackhurst wasn't exactly a shrinking violet so it was entirely possible his reputation was prolific. Drunk Regulus didn't even consider the possibility.

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pad_foot
2011-03-21 08:20 am UTC (link)

Sirius felt like he should have been objecting to hearing his brother ramble on about his teenage sex life, but it was all too novel and Sirius had always been too happy to talk about it, anyway. And it was so against what he'd come to expect from Regulus that it was actually quite amusing. Sirius and Regulus, despite the obvious deviations, had probably been quite similar at Hogwarts. Sirius, definitely, had been jumping anyone that moved. Not that it had changed much once he graduated... Sirius smirked to himself as he listened, slumping back in his chair with his drink and casting a quick glance over toward the barmaid.

Then the mood changed, and Sirius hesitated with his beer lifted part way to his lips, turning quickly to stare at his brother.

"Blackhurst?" he repeated, "That little shit from Hogwarts? The De-" He caught himself, because even pissed Sirius was sure aware that bringing up certain topics were bound to cause tension. And a very large part of him was shouting for him not to probe into this, because he'd find out something he wasn't sure he wanted to know. But surely it couldn't be as bad as he was suddenly thinking, could it? It was just because he was pissed. But Blackhurst had always been an absolute twat, and Sirius had heard his name mentioned enough times after Hogwarts to have some idea of what kind of bloke he was. He swallowed, finding his mouth suddenly dry and taking another gulp of beer.

"Reg?" he pushed, despite himself. "Did he..." There was an awkward pause, then Sirius' eyes narrowed and the muscles in his shoulders tensed. "Did he hurt you?"

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arrogant_black
2011-03-21 08:43 am UTC (link)

Regulus shrugged, not the slightest bit aware of the conversation he was having, and said, "He was older, I don't know what years he attended."

There were warning bells going off in Regulus' head. Somewhere, the brain crew in charge of operations was desperately trying to gain his attention, pressing metaphorical buttons labeled 'Abort', and klaxons were all a light to add to the sense of impending doom. But the alcohol had flooded the communications systems and Regulus was not receiving the warning. In fact the bells sort of had a melodic quality that gave the conversation an interesting soundtrack.

He leaned back, heaving a great sigh and not catching the distorted look on his brother's face. "Hurt doesn't even begin to describe it. I mean, like, hurt makes it sound like a slap," and considering the brothers' pain reference bestowed upon them by their mother a slap to them really didn't hurt all that much, "which months of... most definitely wasn't just a slap."

"He didn't like the word 'no', or maybe he just didn't care, I don't know." Regulus had leaned back forward now and was watching condensation drops leak down the side of his glass. "He liked to be in control."

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pad_foot
2011-03-21 09:01 am UTC (link)

Sirius had abandoned his mostly-full pint, slouching back in his chair with his hands curled around the seat, feeling the wood creak benath his grip, a splinter push against his palm. His face was twisted, jaw tight and square, lips pressed hard together to create a cruel line across his features. "Did he make..." He found it hard to voice what he already knew. "You didn't want to."

It wasn't a question. He wasn't stupid. Drunk, yes. But not stupid. And because he was very drunk and the booze swimming through him was acting as a bit of a buffer between himself and the world, he didn't feel most of what he would usually be. He didn't feel horrified or simply upset, or guilt that he hadn't known to stop it. He just felt angry. He felt like pinning Blackhurst to a wall and smashing his ugly fucking face in, hexing him until he was a pile of steaming crap on the floor. Sirius twitched and sat on his hands as they itched for a wand, one knee jumping, taking a deep breath through his nostrils.

"Fucking wanker," he growled. "I'll fucking kill him." There was the problem in that Blackhurst very clearly wasn't in Colligo, but that seemed a minor flaw in the plan at this precise moment. Sirius grabbed his beer and threw it back angrily, willing the cold drink to calm the burning in his chest.

"We should head off," he announced, once he'd finished it off. He wasn't really in the mood for this any more.

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arrogant_black
2011-03-21 09:47 am UTC (link)

Regulus shook his head, pressing forward with his new found chatty abilities, "Well, I mean at first I wanted it, 'cause, you know sex is sex..." he cocked his head and lifted a finger to trace the drops of water, "but then I changed my mind... and he didn't, I guess..."

"Oh," Regulus looked up at his brother's growled declaration. It was a bit startling and it cut through the haze enough to make him pull away from the very enthralling glass. It was also touching and Regulus was unprepared to accept the sentiment in his present condition, he just knew he should show some level of appreciation. He waved a hand to brush off the offer. "Oh, he's dead already. I killed him," Regulus had not caught on that he'd effectively killed the conversation, "I eventually couldn't take... I slit his- he used to take my wand away, lock it up, so I broke a glass and used a piece to cut-"

Confusion took hold for a moment, and he furrow his brow. He had a feeling that describing this was foreign and that he'd never done it before. And there was the feeling that he didn't discuss it for a reason but he couldn't think of why. He looked down and the sensations retreated but his brother was standing up and making ready to leave. It seemed as if his brother was upset but Regulus couldn't for the life of him figure out why - no one had yelled, they'd equally lambasted their mother and had laughed at their family, hell, they'd even talked about sex! In all this had to count as a success for a Black Brother outing. Maybe it was a general disappointment about leaving? Regulus accepted that reasoning.

"Right, head back, right." He downed the small amount remaining and then stood, slowly and unsteadily, following his brother without protest.

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pad_foot
2011-03-22 12:16 pm UTC (link)

"Oh, Christ..." Sirius muttered, more to himself than anything. He just didn't understand why this had happened. They'd been having a good time! What had happened to talking about their groupie Aunt and their Fathers girlie magazines? When had it all turned so... shit? Why had he come out at all? He'd known this would be a bad plan. He could be out with Remus and James and this certainly wouldn't have happened. He certainly wouldn't be feeling like he was doing his best to keep some kind of angry, overprotective powerkeg from exploding in his chest. He wouldn't be feeling so sick.

Sirius wished his brother would stop talking. The older boy groaned instead, clapping his hands over his ears in an attempt to drown out his brothers words. He was sure Blackhurst had deserved it, would have been more than happy to do it himself if he'd only known. But he didn't want to hear about his brother doing it, because that made this whole thing so much more difficult.

Sirius wobbled hastily to his feet and Regulus followed at a much slower face, both boys' sense of balance having taken a severe knock in the last few hours. Sirius squeezed his eyes shut for a moment in an attempt to stop everything looking so... blurry. But that threw up a whole lot of imagined images and for a second he was convinced he was going to be sick. Snapping his eyes open, Sirius caught the tail end of the confused look on his brother face. And now he felt guilty. Stupid emotions. What good were they?

"I'm not mad at you," He muttered (or slurred) awkwardly, turning his gaze onto the mountain of glasses they were leaving behind on the table. "I'm mad at him. And for Merlin's sake, Reg, don't fall on your arse, will you? I'm not carrying you home."

As he spoke, Sirius himself swayed gently, and had to grab the table to prevent himself going completely arse over elbow. The world was all blurry and the edges and the colours were all saturated, like reality was throwing himself at him. He rather wanted to go to bed, but he couldn't help but wonder whether sleep was out of the question now. "Shut up," Sirius defended himself as he unsteadily righted himself. "I meant to do that.
Let's go."

And he loped off towards the door, narrowly avoiding walking straight into the pool table. They hadn't even got to play pool!

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arrogant_black
2011-03-22 02:20 pm UTC (link)

Regulus looked all the more confused when Sirius confirmed he was, indeed, upset. Mostly because he'd had far too much alcohol for one sitting. He was very much a light weight after all, when it came to liquor, never having got around to building up the same level of tolerance his brother had. Things computed slowly in his head, or not at all, and his brother being upset at Blackhurst fell somewhere in between the two.

He opened his mouth to ask for clarification. Hadn't his brother not wanted anything to do with him during those years, so what did it matter what had happened to him? Sirius' overwrought conscience for not having done something was a new thing for Regulus to grasp, and doing so while drunk made the task all the more difficult. But then his brother almost fell on his arse, a great contradiction to the admonition he'd laid on Regulus, and the confusion was fugacious, slipping away in Regulus' wholehearted laughter at Sirius' folly.

"I'm coming, twatface." Regulus too slurred his words and was very unsteady on his feet. He decided to blame the ground for refusing to remain horizontal. How was he supposed to walk straight when it was tilting two ways at once?

"You're one to talk." And then he fell in awkward step next to Sirius, less than gracefully missing the pool table, but still missing it none the less.

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pad_foot
2011-03-22 11:15 pm UTC (link)

It was like watching a Thestral foal learning to walk. Sirius rolled his eyes as he regained his balance and Regulus stumbled to his feet to walk beside him, both boys swerving around the pool table on the way to the door. Sirius didn’t return the wave the girl behind the bar offered, too caught up in his own head to really consider her as they lurched awkwardly towards the cold air of the street. Sirius might have managed to hold his alcohol a lot better than his brother – he’d had years of it being his substance of choice, and that gave a person a lot of practice – but that didn’t mean he was anywhere approaching sober as he stepped out into the street and immediately swore at the dropped temperatures.

“Bloody fucking hell, it’s cold,” he grumbled. The moment they hit the pavement, Sirius was shoving his hands into his coat pockets to find his cigarettes. It had, after all, been a few hours. Add that amount of time to the revelation that was still making his gut churn and no wonder he was gasping. Sirius lit two (although it took several attempts) and passed one over, wondering drunkenly if Regulus had any idea how Sirius felt right about now, or how completely he’d destroyed the unexpected way Sirius had been enjoying the evening. Right now all he wanted to do was drink whatever he found in the cupboard, perhaps be a bit sick, and then curl up under a duvet and hope to pass out. God, he hoped Remus wasn’t still awake… Sirius took a long drag on the cigarette, letting smoke fog his already dulled senses.

Still, he forced himself not to think and glanced to the side for a distraction. Sirius couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of his little brother pissed off his head and weaving a very wobbily line over the pavement. He wanted to change the subject. He didn’t want to think about that anymore.

“You’re going to feel like shit tomorrow. Don’t come bitching to me, will you?”

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arrogant_black
2011-03-23 12:10 am UTC (link)

Regulus thought he was doing excellent despite a ground that constantly shifted its alignment. It was a dodgy ground, but he wasn't going to let it get the better of him. And speaking of dodgy, it was bloody cold and the zipper on his coat was being bloody difficult. In the end he decided to fuck it and just pulled the sides closed and held them against his body with his arms.

Until his brother was passing him a cigarette, and he couldn't turn down that. He moved one arm away and the cold rushed in again. There was a moment of fiddling with the contraption again but in the end he gave up and focused on the cigarette. He decided it was worth the cold.

"Psssh, I've had wors-" he waved his hand, and then one thing went right for him that evening, though, at the time it most decidedly did not seem like it. He took a wrong step off the curb, lost his balance completely and did just what his brother told him not to do, he fell right on his arse. The good thing was that he no longer felt compelled to bring up heroin withdrawal comparisons, instead he focused on the great injustice wrought down on him by the evil pavement.

"Split in two levels?! Fucking, sodding bastard. Did you see- splitting into two fucking levels." He was clearly indignant and continued his verbal abuse of the pavement as he tried to regain his feet. "I'm sure there comes a time when both your parents wish that you were the dribbling shot that should have missed the slot. What's more, I bet that thought comes daily." Never mind that pavement doesn't have 'parents' and is hardly created in the same fashion human life is, but that was hardly the point! Fucking pavement.

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