InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "same bat time same bat channel"

unsureidentity (unsureidentity) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2009-05-30 22:53:00

Entry tags:

!closed, #complete, claire winchester, gabriel 'sylar' gray

WHO: Gabriel "Sylar" Gray & Claire Bennet
WHAT: Gabriel doesn't feel completely comfortable with only a half understanding of himself and his relationships to others. Claire, for some reason he doesn't understand, is trying to help.
WHERE: Gabriel & Peter's apartment
WHEN:
RATING: PG
STATUS: In Progress

Gabriel had at least some idea who he was now. He had a name, an origin, a few very scant memories flittering across the forefront of his mind, but other than that, all understanding of his existence was scarce. He had a jumble of memories for different sources that made it next to impossible to pick out which ones were important to him. It was only a few that created an intense gut reaction that he was positive that they were his own. That, and a lingering fixation on snowglobes that he had no basis for but still couldn't shake from his mind.

He'd spent most of the day in his room. He was grateful that the apartments had changed. It was going to be difficult enough staying with Peter however long they were going to tolerate this arrangement like this. He wasn't sure how he could have done it if they had remained in one room.

Staring at the far wall, his head leaning back against the wall behind his bed, legs crossed over each other, stretched out on the bed, Gabriel was zoned, probing his own mind to try and sort things out, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make any headway. And the frustration was only leading to a pile of accidentally disintegrated objects whose particle dust littered the floor.

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unsureidentity
2009-06-16 09:38 pm UTC (link)

"I don't know," Gabriel echoed, looking over at her. He understood. He understood all of her reasons. He could appreciate them, but he still didn't know how this would all turn out in the end to give her the reassurance that she might need to know that he wouldn't be someone that she needed to hate again. For all he knew, he was reasoning this all wrong, that everything he was feeling were just manifestation of his own guilt projecting onto the memories or something like that. He wanted to believe that he was better than that, that he hadn't allowed himself to become completely heartless.

But he just didn't know.

"I'm sorry," Gabriel said, shifting on the bed so that he was sitting next to her instead of laying back, his hands gripping the side of the bed as he held himself up. "I don't mean to make this more complicated for you than it already is."

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x_clairebear_x
2009-06-16 11:49 pm UTC (link)

Claire shook her head, giving him a thin smile that was laced with weariness. "Don't apologize," she replied. "It isn't your fault. I knew going into this that it wasn't going to be simple or easy." Nothing with him ever was, no matter who he was.

Exhaling a puff of air through pursed lips, she glanced at the various piles of ash around the room before her gaze once more landed on Gabriel. "I think that you need to figure out who you are, no matter who that may be," she said sincerely. Swallowing around a lump in her throat, she added, "And I think that I need to stop looking at you and Sylar as two completely different people because that isn't fair to you and it isn't helping you get better."

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unsureidentity
2009-06-17 12:04 am UTC (link)

"I don't want to be that, for what it's worth," Gabriel said as he looked over her, a soft, sincere expression in his eyes. He truly didn't. No matter who he was, he knew in his heart that the last thing that he wanted to be was a killer. There was so much more that he could do, so much more potential that he could have especially with his abilities, that using them to murder simply to get more seemed like a repetitive waste.

Her last statement inspired as much dread as it did hope, the knowledge that she might not be as comfortable if comfortable at all with the idea of him being around if she started thinking like that sinking into his mind. But still... It was probably for the best, better for him to attempt to integrate the two sides of himself than trying to keep them apart no matter what. At least then... He might be able to control the way that they came together.

Leaning over, a slight hesitation in the movements, Gabriel pulled her into a quick, brief hug, his actions gentle, far gentler than anything that Claire might have expected from him, as he sighed, "Thank you. For trying."

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x_clairebear_x
2009-06-17 12:22 am UTC (link)

He was hugging her. The man with the face of the killer that had made her life hell was hugging her. And Claire, for all of her uncertainty about him and everything he'd said since she'd arrived in his room, didn't mind it one little bit. In fact, she actually appreciated the gesture in a way. Yes, it was another startling reminder of just how different he was from Sylar, which didn't help her merge the two together in her mind, but that small, simple act of true humanity made her all but certain that she was doing the right thing with her decision to help him rather than cast him to the proverbial wolves like everyone else.

Her smile was a gentle, sincere one as she peered up at him. "You're welcome," she said, "but no thanks are necessary. Really. What they did to you was wrong. It's the least I can do, trying to make it right again somehow." And okay, so Claire would admit to herself that she hadn't exactly started out with those noble of intentions. She had started out wanting to kill him, then deciding that if she could make sure Gabriel stayed put that she really would be rid of Sylar forever. But now that she'd spoken with him, and gotten to know him a bit, she had to admit that the thought of just leaving him so broken to figure it all out and fend for himself just felt wrong. Possibly the same, if not worse, as any of the horrible things that Sylar himself had ever done.

Not wanting to dwell on her own guilt for her initial motives, Claire added, "And if you don't want to be that, I say we figure out some sort of way to give you back all of your memories and everything without letting the end result be something you don't want."

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