InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Meow?"

Merlin (youngmagician) wrote in colligo_threads,
@ 2009-10-02 19:38:00

Entry tags:

#complete, arthur pendragon, merlin

who: arthur and merlin
what: making up?
when: that evening
where: arthur's room

Peanut butter and scraps of food he'd left Arthur before going into his impromptu retreat. That was all that was left of the food in Arthur's kitchen. The prince would never survive more then a few weeks if Merlin was sent back to Camelot before him. Never mind demons and sorcery threatening his life, it would be his own inability to take care of his own basic needs. Arthur could go out and kill his own meat, but when it came time to clean and cook it, and find some kind of vegetable to have with it he'd be totally useless.

Merlin sighed, setting the brown paper bags in either arm on the counter, and set to putting the food away. Much of it was food that Arthur could easily manage himself; apples, oranges, bananas, cereal, carrots, bread, sliced cold meats, and cheese. Then there were a few things that Merlin figured he would end up coming over to cook for the prince in the evenings. Assuming Gwen wasn't already tending to things like that for him, no doubt she was much better at it.

He glanced at the time, yawning briefly, and pulled out a large plastic container containing beef and vegetable soup he'd helped make at work to reheat on the stove. (It still amazed him, but now he was far too tired to be interested beyond not burning himself) He'd returned to work today early in the morning when he'd found the nightmares had stopped, he hadn't woken to things being magically altered around him on accident in his sleep, and with general control over his magic again. The overwhelming feeling of fear had some how lifted the night before.

Of course, that didn't mean he was in fantastic shape again. After weeks of nightmares, and the unwilling use of his magic several times a day -- then returning to work for a good portion of the day...The dark circles under his eyes served as some indication of how tired he was. Still, he needed to make it up to Arthur for what he'd put him through. Despite his promise, he had lied to him at the start out of fear of what Arthur would think of him if he couldn't control his magic. He'd hidden away, and refused to see him. They'd barely spoken in his time away, and when they did it wasn't the best of conversations -- they only further fueled Merlin's worries. As it was, he half expected Arthur to have been here, to be fed up with him, and slam the door in his face. Of course, now he'd discovered that instead the prince would have taken the food first -- then thrown him out.

Merlin had set dinner out on the table for Arthur, and had started cleaning up the room when he finally heard the door open, doing his best to seem as casual as possible.

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youngmagician
2009-10-04 04:02 am UTC (link)

"Do you listen to a thing I say?" Merlin closed his eyes for a moment, and breathed a small sigh. How many times would he have to reassure Arthur of his trust? For someone who had struggled to do something so small as call Merlin friend, and privately no less, between only the two of them. Merlin doubted Arthur had ever referred to him as such in conversation with anyone else...And yet, he felt entitled to all of Merlin's secrets, and was hurt when he discovered that Merlin kept some for himself. Usually out of the desire to live or protect Arthur himself, one might at.

"I trust you, Arthur. I trust you. I trust you with my life." Merlin started. "Need I say it again? I trust you." He lifted his head and looked at Arthur patiently, speaking in soft, calm tones that showed both how tired he was (enough to keep any frustration or annoyance that might have been in his tone otherwise) and was perhaps a little coddling.

"My worst fear was losing control of my magic and hurting you. I was afraid to let you see me like that. So I hid. It wasn't because I didn't trust you. I didn't trust myself not to hurt you is all." Merlin wasn't about to admit he had in fact jumped out the window to avoid Arthur when this began, but there it was. He also avoided mention of his constant nightmares during the whole ordeal, ones that he had on occasion regardless of so called demons to stir them from the place in the far back of his mind that Merlin tried to force them.

"Why do you care so much if I trust you or not anyways?" He ran an idle hand through his hair, and looked elsewhere -- anywhere but Arthur as he continued, particularly at the floor. "It's not as if you trust me. Sometimes I wonder if you care at all either way, and just keep me around to entertain you because I was so awful at being a servant, and one of the few people back home who would be honest with you when you were being a prat. And here...Well, I see to your food, and get your clothing washed, and beyond that -- we've done nothing but argue if we speak for too long."

	a_royal_prat 2009-10-05 12:49 am UTC (link)
	Grimacing, Arthur drummed his fingers on the underside of the counter. He'd almost forgotten that, repressed it into the back of his mind. But he'd noticed that Merlin had been more comfortable then than Arthur could recall him ever being now. Perpetually amused by everything. "I'd forgotten." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	youngmagician 2009-10-05 07:25 pm UTC (link)
	Merlin managed to get to his room just fine on his own, thank you very much. He didn't notice Arthur watching him, which was probably a good thing. Moving slowly, Merlin made his way to his apartment and disappeared. Off to bed, to get some real sleep. (Reply to this) (Parent)