InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "what's your spaghetti policy?"

You already have everything you need. Now fight. (heavenslancer) wrote in colligo_network,
@ 2010-07-28 16:26:00

Entry tags:

castiel, sam winchester

[Sam]

Are you alright?

~~I'm here.~~

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	fireinthesoul 2010-07-28 09:26 pm UTC (link)
	My dad showing up, that's one thing. But I can ~~avoid him~~ deal with that. It's my mom, Cas. My mom is here and she's beautiful and perfect and...I never thought I'd see her. Even with all the dead people that show up. I never thought my mom would be one of them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heavenslancer
2010-07-28 09:47 pm UTC (link)

Isn't that a blessing Sam? A chance to get to know her? I am sure you have wondered what she was like as I wondered about my Father. oh

I am sure she loves you above all else but your brother. I understand, though, why you hesitate. She has always been imagined, fragments of what others have told you. You will have to lose what your mother has always been to you. You will have to accept what she is.

Sam, you know I am here for you no matter now it goes.

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fireinthesoul
2010-07-28 09:54 pm UTC (link)

Yeah. Something like that. It's stupid to be worried, I know that. But. But it's my mom. All my life, I always felt like something was missing, and all the stories, everything anybody ever told me, I created my own version of her. And I'm scared of losing her now. But I'm gaining the real thing, and that should be better. Why am I so scared?

I know, Cas, and I am grateful. I need you. I know I'd be all right if you weren't here with me, but the fact you are? It means a lot.

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heavenslancer
2010-07-28 10:00 pm UTC (link)

I think she will understand your aprehension, Sam. She knows your circumstance, she knows you are meeting your mother for the first time. I do not think she will judge you for it. Perhaps she is a little aprehensive also? Her child is a stranger to her. I know she has no reason to be concerned and I trust that you do not but it is... understandable.

I do not think it right that I come with you, nor do I think you were asking, but keep your PDA with you and contact me whenever you need. I do not expect that you will be perhaps we can arrange to meet after. We can go for a walk in the park.

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	fireinthesoul 2010-07-28 10:05 pm UTC (link)
	You're right. Of course you're right. I hadn't thought of that. The last time she saw me I was just a baby. She doesn't know me, any more than I know her. A walk in the park sounds nice, Cas, and it's probably exactly what I need. My impulse is to drink, but I need to get away from that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heavenslancer 2010-07-29 12:07 pm UTC (link)
	It is alright Sam, she can get to know you now. You are a good man, she will be pleased with you. I will wait for you by the lake. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fireinthesoul 2010-07-29 05:42 pm UTC (link)
	I won't keep you waiting long. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heavenslancer 2010-07-29 09:36 pm UTC (link)
	Take all the time with her you need Sam. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fireinthesoul 2010-07-29 09:48 pm UTC (link)
	I'm actually going to spend some time with Dean. I'm not ready to see her yet. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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