Entwined with Nature

I seem to have really fallen out of practice in meditation. I've really struggled lately. It could also be that I honestly have a lot on my mind lately. I seem to struggling with balance in my life. I have taken on a lot this year.

My daughter is almost 2 now (OH she's sweet), I am trying to get our coven off the ground, I began college at the age of 34 for the first time and oh, I'm going full time. Also working full time, taking care of daughter, house, hubby, etc. I barely get 6 hours of sleep a night between housework, working nights, and homework, and putting Elora to bed/getting DH out the door to work. Yeah, he worked 2 overnight shifts a week. *sigh* I need to set aside 20 minutes a night for spiritual working. I'll be much more balanced.

Even while mowing the lawn, I was followed all over the yard by a robin. One would think the loud ass lawn mower would have kept the bird away but not this one. Perhaps it is a sign. Perhaps when I meditate today I will focus on Rhiannon.

I had one of my most powerful esbat rituals last night. The moon was beautiful! The energy was the strongest I have ever felt. It was like finding water in a desert. I'll post more about it this week. I'm waiting to see what the residual effects are. :) Whenever I have supercharged ritual like that I always notice little things special all week after.

I've been so 'city bound' lately. I've lost the drive to get outdoors and exercise. This is the week I reclaim it. I think I'll take Elora on a 3 mile walk (well 3 miles for me while she strolls) and start teaching her about plants, bugs and trees. Like a nature hunt. Yeah, we'll hug us some trees. She's really not too young to learn how to feel the vibrational energy in the grass and trees.
Then we'll go for a swim in the public pool. She's a natural in the element of water. She completely awes me.

I feel so disconnected from what matters most to me lately. Just the past few days but I really do feel it. Hormonal crap leaving my super depressed. I haven't felt this depressed in a very long time. I was hoping to feel better today but I didn't. My knee is bothering me, I feel lonely and that is the worst of it. I feel very lonely. I miss spending quality time with my DH. His work schedule, a guest at the house all week, my work/school, etc. We've spent time but with our guest and I can't complain about the guest because he has been a wonderful help with babysitting this week since my mother-in-law was unavailable. My own mom trying some of her mind games, lies, etc with me yet once again. Finally my DH sees that she is like this. However her negitive crap isn't helping. I feel like if I can reconnect with the Goddess and God everything else will fall into place. It always has before. In my greatest times of need my faith has always been my life raft.

Chapter 5 in Crystal Healing by Katrina Raphaell talks about exorcising negitive feelings with crystals. She uses a man that had an uncontrollable temper that she worked on as his temper was hurting his family. I actually do have a bad temper and while that isn't what is bothering me right now, my depression is negitive and will lead to a temper outburst as it has in the past. Actually tonight, I've been jumping from to angry to sad to angry and sad again. I feel like a yoyo. I hate this feeling. Time to go through my crystals and get the appropiate ones work on some energy work before bed. I need to do something. I hate feeling like this and it is only a matter of time before my family can't take it anymore. I have so much emotional baggage still from my mother that I need to purge. I honestly wonder and not for the first time if my life wouldn't be better without her in it at all. I feel guilty for that but the more I'm around her the more she affects me in the wrong way. It is a toxic relationship that I'm not truly free of yet but I need to be.

It is the time of year once again to celebrate the coming of Summer. Spring is upon most os us (unless you are in the southern hemisphere anyway). Time once again for the crowing of the May Queen.

Tis the blooming of the Lady
and all her lovely charms
Yonder comes the Lord now
to dance within her arms
Then the two shall join
and do the dance of life
And the Earth shall be reborn again

Tis the blooming of the Lady
such a lovely thing
Spring is in teh air
it makes you want to sing
Now She bids us all
to join the dance of life
And the Earth shall be reborn again

Do the dance of Life with us together
Sing a song of very merry weather
Do the dance of life wit us together
And the Earth shall be reborn again

Tis the blooming of the Lady
everybody come
Join us in the circle
the dancing has begun
Here we join together
and do the dance of life
And the Earth shall be reborn again

Do the dance of Life with us together
Sing a song of very merry weather
Do the dance of Life with us together
And the Earth shall be reborn again

~Hugin the Bard (A Bard's Book of Pagan Songs)

I've been peeking in but unable to post much myself. Normally I try to be the catalyst in each of my communities. I'm currently without internet at home so I do my best to check in.

I'm currently reading The Art of True Healing by Israel Regardie. I like the book very much but he only deals with 5 of the chakra centers. Anyone else wonder about this? The balancing technique is good and I'm working with finding a sound that will vibrate with the two he doesn't address.
I was just wondering if anyone has a explaination for why only 5 of the energy centers are addressed in he work.

Thanks!

I've been peeking in but unable to post much myself. Normally I try to be the catalyst in each of my communities. I'm currently without internet at home so I do my best to check in.

I'm currently reading The Art of True Healing by Israel Regardie. I like the book very much but he only deals with 5 of the chakra centers. Anyone else wonder about this? The balancing technique is good and I'm working with finding a sound that will vibrate with the two he doesn't address.
I was just wondering if anyone has a explaination for why only 5 of the energy centers are addressed in he work.

Thanks!

This one will have to be a quickie since the wee one is restless. :) Fun with my one year old! :) :)

Anyhow, I dreamed a dreaming of a mouse that needed to show me something. I just read that mouse medicine can be both very powerful but also very weak. Huh? you say...

Well, while the mouse can be fearful of the world and has trouble in the great bit world, the can also remind us that maybe we are neglecting a small but very important detail. While at this point I'm not sure what that is, I think mouse will show me. I'll post more on this as soon as I can.

Samhain is coming and time to set up my Ancestor's Shrine. This is a time of year for reflection and introspection. It's no conincidence that I meditate on a more regular basis and seem to be able to be more successful at it. With the dying year is almost feels as if I'm reborn. I think it is more the anticipation of the rebirth that spring means. I do feel myself returning to the Womb of Creation. I feel my spiritual infancy returning and I know by spring, I will be reborn and revitalized.

So do I mourn the passing of the warm months and the Light of the Year? No, I kiss it goodbye and I travel to the Darkness that is also a safe haven for growth.

How does time of year affect you?

Getting ready to move in a week and a half but we're finally getting a house! We're excited but I've got the internet at home turned off right now and we can no longer blog at the office so I manage to get to the library every so often.

Here's a quick update. The stress of my husband's new hours at work (overnight shifts, a late night and two early mornings) was beginning to get to me as we just don't get a chance to see each other much. Then, there is one person at the office I really don't get along with so I avoid her as much as possible. Oh, well, as long as I do my job I don't really have to work with her very much. Then with moving, though our finances are better than they were, moving doesn't leave us very much extra money. Money has been so short, I'm still waiting for the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Well, it is coming. Once we get settled in the new house. :)

Anyhow, the stress was really getting to me and Elora's teething. 6 teeth! She's cutting two more as well. Poor Boo. I was crabby, unhappy and making myself sick. Well, I was at the library and I found some books on Reiki. I've been looking into them and I like what I'm reading. So I'm following some of the meditations. I've been able to benefit right away. Just the one mantra of "just for today, I am at peace" while holding your left hand over your heart and your right hand over your solar plexus is very calming. I can feel peace and loving energy right away. I'm calmer and less crabby too.

I also found some DVDs for exercise while my husband is at work and the baby is asleep. Bellydance! Also YogaDance. I love them both and when we move, I'm going to good online and see if I can order both. The YogaDance DVD is like yogic trance dance. I feel relaxed, rejuventated and beautiful. The Bellydance DVD was really just for fun, but I also feel quite exercised and womanly/sensuous afterwards. I do either DVD almost every night before bedtime. Then I take long shower and pamper myself a little with some nice body lotion and get a wonderful night's rest.

The YogaDance DVD is called Yoga Dance: Earth. If you haven't tried it, I recommend it. It really connects back to Mother Earth.

Soooo, Anyhow, I'll update as much as I can. Moving into a home for purchase! YaY for us! It's offering great ritual and meditation space so I'm looking into working a guided meditation/balancing/energy work evening into my weekly schedule!

Also having some very prophetic like dreams and I hope to update more on that later. Library is closing soon. :)

My mom is in the hospital and likely to be in the hospital for a while. She has diabetes and is in to have her right leg amputated. Lots going on for me right now and it's pretty stressful.

Anyhow, Happy Litha to you all and enjoy the solstice eve! I'm looking forward to some rest, relaxation, and the positive energies of our circle.

Blessed Be.

Someone in another community spoke of her young son discovering that a wolf was his power as the wolf had visited him and it frightened him. The child was apparently young. The woman wondered at what age should she reintroduce the child to his power animal.

It's my thinking that perhaps the child should determine that. The wolf has shown itself to the child for a reason. (I really don't have enough information to determine whether the child actually had an experience of being visited by his power animal or if the wolf was just a dream symbol, and for the purposes of this post it doesn't really matter....Let us assume the experience is a genuine one for discussion purposes.)

Anyhow, if the power animal frightened the child, perhaps the child wasn't yet ready for the message the wolf had to deliver or the lesson to be learned. We reach our spiritual readiness in our own time and in our own way. As parents we want to protect our children from everything and encourage spiritual development. What if it's years before the child is ready to meet Wolf again? What if it's tomorrow? Only the person the totem has chosen can determine the right time. It's between the person and the power animal. The rest of the us are on the outside.

Any additional thoughts?

Tried to medititate last night and ended up not getting very far again as well as not really getting any rest either. *sigh* I feel very much out of sorts, disjointed, and I suppose 'confused' is the best description. So a good grounding ritual tonight is in order after the baby goes to sleep. I think I'm going to leave my DH on the sofa adn prepare a ritual outside where it's quiet and I'm not likely to be disturbed.

The emotional rollercoaster PMS has me currently on is most likely at the root of it all. *eyeroll*

I also have a post to make later today about when the right time is contact your power animals. :)

Seemed to be entwined for me right now. I don't seem to encounter one without the other and I feel a very significance in that lesson. I think the lesson is that seldom can be survive totally on our own. It takes Earth/Air/Fire/Water/Spirit working together in a symbiotic relationship to flow withing the cycle of life.

Yes, I am ok on my own. But is it life worth living? Not really. I *need* my husband and my daughter to feel whole. I *need* my faith. There is more to this I'm still trying to figure out.

Here are some of the notes I've taken on the symbolism of the serpent/winged dragon, coming from sources such as the Matthews' Walkers Between the Worlds and Henderson's The Wisdom of the Serpent. I have more, but I fear that is going to entail a reading of my morning pages from the past 2 years to find them [which I should do in any case...].

( The dragon, or winged serpent~ )

I was meditating on Earth Realm when I was being pulled towards the Realm of Water. The gnomes just smiled and said it was alright because that is where I need to be right now.

I'm not sure where this will take me so I'll post again soon.

Thinking about the Elemental Realm of Earth lately and getting back to my roots (so to speak) since I had pretty much left this path for a few years. I'm kind of re-training myself. I've not gotten very far in my meditations as life sneaks in there just when I get down to the cavern at the base of the World Tree. The Gnomes seem patient and I come out of it with a feeling of 'take your time, it won't happen overnight, but it will'.

I must be taking something away from this though. I've always had what you call a black thumb. I can grow my office bamboo but that is pretty much it. I have an office plant now that was given to me. It was horribly root bound so I repotted it into a hanging basket and it seems to be doing lovely.

Someone said something really interesting about gardening and how it makes her feel recently.

She described gardening as making her feel like Eve herself in the Garden of Eden, even though spiritually she is more akin to Lilith. She said there was power in anticipation of the seeds to grow and to tend the weeds and soil. She was so sure nothing would grow, but it has and she feels close to Mother Earth watching it all grow and making sure it thrives. She worked hard yesterday mowing the grass, weeding, watering, etc. Her herb and veggie garden are now thriving.

I found myself strongly relating to that feeling with my own little office plant that I rescued from the company that tends our plants. When they get root bound and sickly from it, the company simply comes in and replaces them, throwing away the old plants. So the guy offered me one. It's doing great now that it is in a new pot. I make sure it has water and is not getting too much sun.

What are some experiences you have with similar pursuits?

Hello!

I have a newly created IJ.  I am an old time LJ member and finally decided to jump the fence for a little while. :)

My name is Amethyst Lilyth.  I follow a Celtic/Faerie Tradition with some Eclectic Flair.  I add the Eclectic Flair because those of us that prescribe to this tradition feel that constraints within our Tradition can limit the diversity and learning process.  It's a neo-wiccan tradition. :)

I personally practice Shamanic Journey Work and employ it, often over free form meditation to reach the guided states I need to make spiritual decisions. :)

In the very near future I will be undergoing a Soul Retrieval with a local Shaman-woman who I have a very close connection to.

Anyway, that's a little about me.  I hope to be able to share my experiences with you.