I was never so much of a mother; I couldn't provide one single thing for my baby. I couldn't offer life, safety, family or love. The only thing I for certain could provide was death.
But then again, there was a reason why vampires weren't able to have babies. I wish rules were rules for once. The whole 'rules are meant to be broken'-crap don’t quite work out.
Death created my baby and death would take it from me. It wasn’t exactly news, the baby would die eventually but I wouldn’t and for the first time I wanted to die.
Being a mother is said to be the best thing on this planet. Personally, I think its total crap. Changing diapers on a little brat that can do nothing, it's much easier being an adoptive parent, I've been told. You adopt a teenager and they are practically grown up already, all that heavy teaching has been done by someone else than yourself.
It's easier and hopefully more entertaining and if you raise the kids yourself they might end up with some morals about black and white when the world is really grey.
But then, I never got to experience that.
Dawn walked down the stairs from the upper floor and she was hit by a sudden wave of longing. It had been a week since she had passed away and Buffy was determined to keep everything as it was as if her death didn't matter. Dawn hated her for it. Dawn wanted her mother back from the dead.
She still remembered when Buffy came to her school and told her, she didn't believe her then and a part of her didn't even believe her now, after the funeral.
Now she just wished that her mom was there to hold her.
Mothers are the essence of life and for a little child they are a sanctuary. For me - she was a sanctuary against my own father.
Not that the protection against him were of use but it at leased something, I suppose.
Therefore, when Connor was born without a mother I could really feel sympathy for him, even though it was the last thing he needed.
Growing up without a mother must be like summer without sunshine and Connor, a child of a vampire, wouldn’t see much sunlight in his lifetime. Then again, her mother had never been a saint.