august booth. (augustbooth) wrote in blackpoint, @ 2014-08-06 10:21:00 |
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Entry tags: | august booth, chase stein, em swan, gracie, henry, mad hatter, snow 'mary' white |
Dear Emma Swan,
I was going to wait until I was in person to express these things, but you said public declarations might be your thing. Luckily for you, "public and over-the-top" is not completely out of my realm of ability. I know you were mad at me yesterday, so there is a part of this that is groveling (particularly at Grace’s suggestion), but most of it just needed to be said anyway. Without further ado, here is my gushing, complete with the real-and-honest, but-with-a-touch-of-cheesy-"you-complete-me" that every good public declaration requires.
First of all, I'm sorry for calling Henry a cheeky little fuck. Wasn't meant to be aggressive or rude, but it was too much. I'll be more careful.
You’re the closest thing in this world (the modern one, not necessarily this one in particular) that I ever had to family, and there was still such a long time when we didn’t have each other to lean on. It was a decision that young me made that never should’ve happened, but it did, and it meant (amongst other things) that you and I did not get to grow up together. I never stopped thinking about you when I was away, though. I even tried to get back, but it never worked. Most of those times were my own fault as well, but we’ve pre-established that I was a bit of an asshole for a long time. More of one, anyway. The more unforgiveable kind. Wouldn’t have turned back into wood otherwise.
The fact of the matter is, Emma Swan, that you absolutely saved my life. I died right after, sure, but you gave me the motivation to attempt a comeback, if only for a little while. It’s because of you that I got to be real again, once more.
Now, thankfully, I ended up here instead of actually dying, but the point remains.
I won’t go into the ‘here’ part of the story, not the early part, because we both know that bit. But thank you for coming back. Thank you for trying, and thank you for actually letting it happen. It’s been awhile now -- just over six months, jesus christ. What are you thinking?
Don’t rethink, actually.
Nevermind.
You’re smart and tough, like I said before. I love when we eat in bed because you’re too lazy to move and I’m too whipped to complain, and then I wake up with chopstix pressed in my back. I love the way you look when you wake up in the morning. And I love when we’re out at bars and some asshole is trying to pick a fight with me, but you step in and punch them out before I even get a chance to. I love that proud smile that comes after. I love that you even take the time to pick the pots and pans that aren’t as thick and hard to throw at me, and the grumpy face when I have to wrap up your hand when you get too excited and hurt yourself.
My favorite part is that you’re here, and you’re you. The person you are is perfect, in its own way. You’re impulsive and weird and stubborn as fuck, but you know how you want this world to move around you. In spite of everything, and how badly I fucked up for so long where you were concerned, you turned out like this. You’re a fighter, and you don’t take shit from anyone. Especially me. And that’s amazing.
I told you back in January that you were the only person in this world I cared a damn thing about, and that’s still true. My social circle has grown, but you’re still the most.
There’s more to say, but I’m coming out to Hawaii, so you’ll just have to deal with this until I get there.
-August