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charmed-lies (charmed_lies) wrote in bellumletale,
@ 2010-08-02 18:02:00

Entry tags:

fernand mondego, mercedes mondego

From: Lucas Renaud (larenaud@gmail.com)
To: Gina Renaud (lady_king@gmail.com)
Date: 2 August 2010 at 9:06 PM
Subject: Update

Gina-

I just got checked into my hotel room, but cell reception down here is horrible, thus the email. Everything is fine. I had an appointment with our lawyer to go over the files and contract that Xavier gave to me. I'm still waiting to hear back from him on how we'll proceed. I'm feeling a bit wary about everything that's going on. It just seems a bit too... Convenient. Business never goes this smoothly.

On another note.

Since the full moon, we haven't had a chance to talk or even see one another. My... I ran into a curious man that called himself a Count. Does that sound at all familiar to you, my love?

I hope you're safe.

Lucas

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justonefish
2010-08-02 11:35 pm UTC (link)

[Replied to several hours later]

Lucas-

I'm ~~disappointed~~ glad to hear that you got in safely. And you're right, it's smart to double-check these things. ~~Which I would have known before if you had fucking told me that~~

~~Oh shit~~ ~~Does Edward know that~~ I'm sorry, it doesn't. ~~Fuckfuckfuckfuck~~ I really don't remember much from that night, actually. When my clothes changed, I feared for the worst and just locked myself in the bathroom. I fell asleep before too long, and when I woke up everything was back to normal.

~~Oh I'm just fine~~ I've been bombarded with child puke, but otherwise safe. Take care.

Gina

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	charmed_lies 2010-08-02 11:43 pm UTC (link)
	Gina- I thought I heard someone crying in the bathroom that night. Was I mistaken? Lucas (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justonefish 2010-08-03 12:12 am UTC (link)
	Lucas- No, you weren't. After seeing so many of the building's residents in the hospital after that time traveling business, the second I noticed a change, I panicked. So, yes, I just [...] started crying and kept on until I fell asleep. I never mentioned it because I didn't want to worry you. Gina (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	charmed_lies 2010-08-03 12:33 am UTC (link)
	You always worry me, Gina. I love you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justonefish 2010-08-03 12:43 am UTC (link)
	I don't know why You shouldn't be worried. Worrying gives you gray hair. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

charmed_lies
2010-08-03 12:47 am UTC (link)

Grey's distinguished.

Listen. I'm sorry. I... I have just been in a shitty mood ever since that dinner and the news about our finances coming out like it did. I'm sorry I never told you. I just wanted to try and fix it on my own and... I don't know. Live up to way people see me. It's hard, sometimes. I've spent so much of my life living up to expectations and just... doing everything on my own.

When everything started falling to pieces, I panicked. I didn't want to come off as a failure to you. I promised a long time ago that I would take care of you... failing in that just...

It's killing me inside, Gina. And I feel horrible that we've never talked about this. That... I was to cowardly to admit that things were not perfect.

I really hope that... someday, you can forgive me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

justonefish
2010-08-03 12:58 am UTC (link)

[...]

~~You aren't going to guilt me into~~ ~~Are you being genuine or just~~ ~~Could Edward have been wro~~

It's okay, Lucas. ~~If this is really~~ We're in a tough spot but [...] we'll come out of it. ~~This is so hard to type~~ I'm more hurt than angry. I understand what you're feeling, but again - I'm hurt you felt you had to hide this from me. We're ~~over~~ a team and that means we both have to work together. If I had known, I could have budgeted and helped cut down on personal expenses. But what's done is done.

~~I could never forgive you~~ It's okay. We'll talk about this in person when you get back.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

charmed_lies
2010-08-03 01:01 am UTC (link)

I didn't want you to have to cut back though. I... I take a lot of pride in being successful, in... providing for the woman that I am head over heels in love for. Failing her breaks my heart, and I'm upset with myself that I had too much pride to tell you this before it all just...

[...]

It's not okay. You and I both know that.

I've ruined this. I can tell that much. I'm not a stupid man.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

justonefish
2010-08-03 01:07 am UTC (link)

But it isn't the end of the world. You haven't failed me ~~with this~~ and it isn't ruined beyond repair. ~~Our marriage is, though~~ Meet with your lawyer ~~while I meet with mine~~ and get his perspective. If you go into this with a clear head, you'll see things you'd miss otherwise.

You're right, you aren't stupid. ~~But you might be evil?~~ Which is why you'll figure this out. It isn't doomed.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	charmed_lies 2010-08-03 01:08 am UTC (link)
	There's something that's bothering me, Gina. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justonefish 2010-08-03 01:09 am UTC (link)
	What is it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	charmed_lies 2010-08-03 01:13 am UTC (link)
	Throughout all of this... It doesn't seem that you miss me at all. Do you? Or are you relieved I'm gone? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justonefish 2010-08-03 01:16 am UTC (link)
	~~oh my god~~ What are you talking about? It's hard to convey things like this over e-mail. Of course I miss you, and I'd never be relieved to see you gone. But I know that sometimes you have to travel, just like you know that sometimes I have to spend 20 hours in the hospital. I suppose I'm just used to it by now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	charmed_lies 2010-08-03 01:17 am UTC (link)
	Gina. Don't lie. It's not becoming to a woman like you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justonefish 2010-08-03 01:19 am UTC (link)
	I'm not lying! I don't know what's gotten into you, but I think you need to lay down and think about this. We've known each other for thirteen years, Lucas. Sometimes we have to come and go, but we always come back together shortly. Maybe we're too young to have a routine, but that's the way it is. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	charmed_lies 2010-08-03 01:21 am UTC (link)
	And for thirteen years I've watched you. I know you Gina. And hurt or not, you have never been this distant with your words. You might as well be writing these emails to a coworker, not your husband. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

justonefish
2010-08-03 01:24 am UTC (link)

~~You don't know~~ This building just [...] I'm starting to think it might be evil. I have terrible nightmares. That full moon thing I can't explain, but I have never been so scared before. I kept waiting to open my eyes and end up in the middle of the desert with no way of knowing if you were okay or even alive. It's starting to wear on me and I guess I'm trying to create a distance so all these feelings don't explode all over the place.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	charmed_lies 2010-08-03 01:25 am UTC (link)
	Distance from me. Hm. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justonefish 2010-08-03 01:27 am UTC (link)
	I'm just having a hard time, here. Nothing I used to do to cope in the past seems to work, and I don't know what the answer is. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	charmed_lies 2010-08-03 01:27 am UTC (link)
	Then why don't you come to me? When have I ever not made time for you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justonefish 2010-08-03 01:33 am UTC (link)
	~~Because you sent Edward to prison~~ Never, you've always made time for me. I've just been confused and distressed and clearly not thinking straight. I'm sorry if you think I'm being difficult, and maybe I am. I'm just [...] still trying to wrap my head around things. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

charmed_lies
2010-08-03 01:41 am UTC (link)

I just wish you wouldn't make me feel like a villain here. I'm trying. I know that I've made mistakes and I'm not perfect... but I don't worry as much about being perfect around you because...

I just...

[...]

Your flaws make me love you more than if you were perfect. And I like to think that my flaws... are similar.

Just...

Gina. I miss you. I miss how we used to be. And I just have this sinking suspicion that...

You wouldn't leave me. Would you? We can work this out... we can try?

Please.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

whatbefell
2010-08-03 02:40 am UTC (link)

[This is sent from Gina's email account though due to crying, Xavier has taken over for now.]

I don't mean to make you feel like a villain. ~~No, because she's too fucking nice and won't do that. Don't worry, it will come in time~~ Lucas, hiding the state of our finances isn't what would make you a villain. ~~It's what you've done to me that makes you one~~ You shouldn't worry about ~~that~~ that.

Really, Lucas I've tried to make my point clear here. ~~WHICH JUST PROVES YOU DON'T LOVE HER~~ It's hard to forgive your faults when I'm confessing mine and you ~~won't~~ won't accept them for what they are. ~~Alright?~~

And why would I leave you over this? ~~Oh irony, how I love thee~~

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	charmed_lies 2010-08-03 02:48 am UTC (link)
	...I'm confused. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	whatbefell 2010-08-03 02:51 am UTC (link)
	About which part? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	charmed_lies 2010-08-03 03:06 am UTC (link)
	I thought I was talking to my wife. This hardly sounds like her. The tone is simply... off. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	justonefish 2010-08-03 03:20 am UTC (link)
	[Due to panic, Gina is back.] Don't be silly. This is your wife. I'm just upset and a little angry right now and the pinot noir in our cupboard is very tasty. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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