InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "yo so tambien"

Clint Barton (antivillain_) wrote in avengers_net,
@ 2018-07-28 21:13:00

Entry tags:

- network, bobbi morse, clint barton, steve rogers, tony stark, wanda maximoff

[open video]
Yo. I'm here.

[Waves the beer bottle in his hand vaguely in the direction of the camera.]

Tell me some jokes.

Here, I'll start.

Three men 're playing golf.

First one's wearing shepherd's robes 'n' hits the ball with a crook. Ball goes into a water trap. He parts the water and hits the ball out.

Second one's wearing white robes. He hits the ball, it also goes into the water trap, he walks on the water and hits it back out.

Third one's got white robes and a long white beard. He hits the ball without looking. It bounces off three trees, lands on the wrong part of the green; a turtle picks it up in its mouth, a hawk scoops up the turtle, and while they're flying over, the turtle drops the ball and it sinks a hole in one.

First guy says to the second, "Dude, I hate playing with your dad."

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

the_iron_man
2018-07-29 10:45 pm UTC (link)

Ha! Niiiiiiiice.

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

antivillain_
2018-07-29 11:15 pm UTC (link)

An elderly man marries a very young woman but he can't satisfy her in bed. He confides in a friend who says, "Hey I know a folk remedy for this. Hire a young man to stand next to the bed and wave a towel over you." The old man does that but it doesn't work. He tells his friend so. The friend says, "Yeah, that happens sometimes. Try switching places." So the young man gets into bed with the wife while the old man waves the towel. The wife has orgasm after orgasm, and the old man shouts in triumph, "See? That's how you wave a towel!"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-07-29 11:40 pm UTC (link)
	A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?" (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -