InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "This is not my beautiful wife!"

Tony Stark is characteristically hyperverbal. (the_iron_man) wrote in avengers_net,
@ 2018-03-03 17:09:00

Entry tags:

- text, clint barton, jessica jones, pepper potts, tony stark, trish walker

texts to Jessica Jones, Pepper Potts, Clint Barton, & Trish Walker

[text to Jessica]

> Hey there, Grumpy.
> Kind of hoping you're not dead.
> Wanted to talk about the fact that you're fired.
> Maybe make sure you're alive.
> Not that I care or anything.

[text to Pepper]
> Hi, honey. 💏
> We need to open up the Stark Realty Company.
> Nat's being attacked by cockroaches in 70's pimp hats.

[text to Clint]
> 😗🖤
> Miss me? I miss you lots, sassy ass.
> Working on getting you and Nat out of there before you catch diseases.

[text to Trish]
> Update: I have a prototype.
> It's not sophisticated but it's all I can rig up w/o lab access.

(Post a new comment)

	haveadrink 2018-03-04 01:16 am UTC (link)
	> Not dead. > Fine. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-04 01:19 am UTC (link)
	> You're the chattiest person ever, Jones. > I'm going to add that into the one star Yelp review. > Also guessing Rumlow is clean and that's why you made him your drinking buddy. > Right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	haveadrink 2018-03-04 01:24 am UTC (link)
	> Yes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-04 01:28 am UTC (link)
	> Good. > Thanks for checking him out. > Still fired. [ten minutes later] > All right no seriously, you are ok right? > If you have a mindjacking freak breathing down the back of your neck just send me a 🖕 (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	haveadrink 2018-03-04 01:34 am UTC (link)
	> 🖕 [ten minutes later] > Shit. If he fucking gets my phone and reads this, he will find you and make you fuck yourself. Literally. > You'll rip off your own dick and shove it up your ass. > Not an exaggeration. I've seen it. It's bad. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-04 01:43 am UTC (link)
	> You send me the prettiest mental pictures. > Don't you delete your texts? I do every time I send something. > I'm erasing the traces from the servers on my end. > It's covered. My network. I do what I want. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	haveadrink 2018-03-04 01:48 am UTC (link)
	> Yeah. You act like he doesn't know that I do that. > And then figures it out any way. > Christ. Do whatever the fuck you want. > I don't have time for your petty bullshit, I have actual problems. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-04 05:14 am UTC (link)
	> Because I asked if you delete your texts or not? WT actual F. > This might come as a shocking surprise but I wasn't trying be petty. > It's supposed to give you one LESS thing to worry about. Ok? Ok. Here, take this with you 🖕 because I'm in hiding anyway. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	haveadrink 2018-03-04 05:34 am UTC (link)
	> You're being an asshole. I can only deal with one major asshole at a time. > So when you become an actual rapist asshole problem, I'll deal with ou accordingly. > How when you're giving me shit instead of talking to me like a normal fucking person? Fine, I said. Whatever. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-04 05:45 am UTC (link)
	> I'm not TRYING to be an asshole because ok yeah that last part was a stunning example of asshole-ism. > Look, I know what happened. > I know you have enough shit to deal with. > There's no such thing as normal anymore. It ceased to EXIST. > I'M SORRY OK I JUST WANTED TO BE SURE YOU WEREN'T DEAD OR WHATEVER (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	haveadrink 2018-03-04 05:53 am UTC (link)
	> Yeah, I get that. > Okay. You're sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not dead. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-04 06:10 am UTC (link)
	> Ok. Try to stay not dead. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	trish_talk 2018-03-04 08:55 pm UTC (link)
	>Good work! Thank you. >Trust me every little helps. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-04 09:22 pm UTC (link)
	> No prob, Trish Talk. > I tested it out on myself. > Not with the actual sedative because that would be dumb. > Still on for that interview? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trish_talk 2018-03-04 09:24 pm UTC (link)
	> It's Walker actually. > OR hilarious if cameras were present. > Of course! I need at least a week's advance since the theme slots are always filled in advance but we can do it next Monday? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-04 09:31 pm UTC (link)
	> Hey! That nickname's better than Chatsy Patsy. > Which I'll never say again because even that's making me cringe. > Guess you're never going to see that test footage. > Which was mostly me saying ouch and bouncing around a lot. > Tentatively schedule me in for Monday. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trish_talk 2018-03-04 11:00 pm UTC (link)
	> How about neither? > Oh. :( > Will tentatively do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-04 11:49 pm UTC (link)
	> Everyone gets a nickname. It's like a superhero thing to do. > You come up with a cool nickname and let me know. > Then I can call you that. Deal? > [sends a screencap of test footage with him in mid-ouch] > Happy? ;) > Tentatively do that. Thanks! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trish_talk 2018-03-05 12:00 am UTC (link)
	> I'm not a superhero though, isn't that an instant disqualifier? > Not in a long time but this has helped. > No, thank YOU! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-05 10:21 pm UTC (link)
	> Nope. You're a Super-Friend, because you're friends with superhero-ish people. > I'm glad it helped. > Thank YOU for getting exclusive first dibs on me. 😉 (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trish_talk 2018-03-07 01:37 am UTC (link)
	> A sidekick then. Well I've been called worse. > Some actual video would help a lot more. > I don't understand. You gave me the dibs so why would you be thanking me? > Also 'first dibs' and 'exclusive' seems like pleonasm. If it's FIRST it's obviously exclusive, one can't have two firsts of the same thing. 😉 (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

the_iron_man
2018-03-07 03:37 am UTC (link)

> Sidekicks are good too, you know.
> Nope! My generosity only goes so far.
> Thanking you because there's no such thing as bad publicity, that's why.
> EXCLUSIVE FIRST DIBS because I like breaking boundaries. 😏
> You should try it sometime! Instead of being stuck with snore-iffic linguistic rules.
> I think my entire life has already established that rules are 💤💤💤

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trish_talk 2018-03-08 12:16 am UTC (link)
	> If you say so. I don't have one so I wouldn't know! > 😞😞😞 > Oh, yes there is. Yes there absolutely is. > I'm not stuck I only pointed it out! I don't get many exclusives, though. This will be good. > Yes, I think it has. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-08 12:24 am UTC (link)
	> Bummer. You know Jones though? She's punchy. > ✌️ > Me and my sometimes questionable moral code absolutely refuses to believe that. > Consider me exclusively yours, Trish. > No 💤 allowed. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trish_talk 2018-03-08 12:32 am UTC (link)
	> Yeah I flipped her over my shoulder once. But by all accounts I'm her sidekick. > Publicity can sometimes break someone's reputation and ruin their life. Or affect people's image of you forever. Your moral code is wrong. > Hey now. > Heeey now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-08 12:40 am UTC (link)
	> Great! Come up with a cool sidekick name. > You flipped her, so you should be Flippy. > Not the first person to say that. Won't be the last. > Depends a lot on the individual reaction to it, too. > My rep isn't stain free, that's for sure. > Hey what? Strictly professional. 😉 (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	trish_talk 2018-03-09 08:17 pm UTC (link)
	> Or Flipper. > Oh wait. > God Tony it's like you don't know what kind of world we live in. People love to hate as much as they love to love. Maybe more. > Give them ONE reason and you're done. Then you're back. Then you're done again. Sometimes for good. > Neither is mine, so. > You're professionally exclusively mine and won't professionally let me sleep. Good! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	eyesintheback 2018-03-05 08:52 pm UTC (link)
	> Ehhh > I could take or leave you :P > You are? > Guess I built a flamethrower for nothing (Reply to this) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-05 09:05 pm UTC (link)
	> Oh no. Don't leave me. 💔 > Pep hasn't found out about our secret agent love affair yet. > I wanted a shocking soap opera reveal. > You in a low cut dress and a Legolas wig. Me with a feather boa lookin fab. > All joking aside, yep. I am. > Did you really build a flamethrower? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	eyesintheback 2018-03-05 09:34 pm UTC (link)
	> What colour boa? > I did > The roaches did not like it. Not one bit (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-05 09:40 pm UTC (link)
	> Red Hot Red, of course. > Send pics or it didn't happen. > Don't burn down the roach motel. > At least save those tasteful mirrors on the walls. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	eyesintheback 2018-03-05 09:52 pm UTC (link)
	> Shame it isn't purple, favourite colour > What do you take me for? An amateur? > Tsk > I can't promise anything (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-05 10:12 pm UTC (link)
	> You trying to mark me as your territory? > You wear a sexy red dress and I'll wear purple for you, big boy. > Take the mirrors. We can use them. 😚 > Seriously though? Pics. > What'd you use, MacGyver? Aquanet and a lighter? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	eyesintheback 2018-03-06 06:54 pm UTC (link)
	> Nobody wants to see that > I have pics > Roachspray and a lighter > Figured it was fitting (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-06 08:20 pm UTC (link)
	> You'd be surprised how much tabloids would pay to see that. > I was close. > Gross. > Hey, meant to ask about Rumlow taking a bullet for you on the Raft. > Think it was just to make himself look better or what? > Or do you have no opinion either way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	eyesintheback 2018-03-07 08:24 pm UTC (link)
	> I figured it was just him making himself look better > Plus he was on a team > If he let his teammate get dead then he isn't exactly a good teammate > Still don't trust him (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-07 08:26 pm UTC (link)
	> That's what I was thinking too. > I had him tailed but she said he was clean. > Guess we just keep an eye out. > If you notice anything let me or Steve know, ok? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	eyesintheback 2018-03-08 07:51 pm UTC (link)
	> Where is Cap? > Not heard much from him (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-08 07:54 pm UTC (link)
	> Keeping an eye on me until I'm free again. > You can give him a shout out on here. > He might even answer and all your fanboy dreams can come true! > Don't be shy. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	twelvepercent 2018-03-07 12:55 am UTC (link)
	>Hey hot stuff. >We're running out of spare places. >I'm going shopping for buildings. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-07 03:03 am UTC (link)
	> Stop. You're making me blush. > That's what I was worried about. > Gonna need room for Barton too. > I almost want to suggest buying another tower. > We'd probably kill each other though so yikes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	twelvepercent 2018-03-07 05:21 am UTC (link)
	>You've never blushed in your life. >No more towers. I was thinking a nice apartment building. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-07 07:33 am UTC (link)
	> Only on the inside. > Great! Can we murder-proof it? > Since people will probably try to kill each other regardless of location. > I'm being optimistic. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	twelvepercent 2018-03-07 06:20 pm UTC (link)
	>How do you murder proof a building? I feel like this is vital information. >We all know you're an eternal optimist, Tony. >I want you to move back in. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-07 08:32 pm UTC (link)
	> Provide padded rooms and straight jackets. > Do you know how many times we could've used those? > I'm am. I'm the poster boy for misguided optimism. > I want to move back in, because I want to get distracted all over you. > See? I'm being optimistic. Hopefully not misguided. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	the_iron_man 2018-03-09 01:16 am UTC (link)
	> Hey, Pepper? Idea. > Buy this. > Don't rent out the penthouse so it's a common space OR we can have sleepovers there. > 10 floors and 23 units. Good location. 100% NOT a tower. > What do you think? (Reply to this) (Parent)