InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Vol Squad to the rescue!"

Joshua Jung (parisarrow) wrote in airshaft,
@ 2024-02-13 14:55:00

Entry tags:

character: joshua jung, player: sam, type: network post

If we all haven’t been ~~scared~~ turned off of KARMAP because of yesterday’s weird […] interloper, I learned something interesting about one of the paintings in the lobby. The one with all the buildings on fire is an artist’s rendition of this huge fire that burned down most of old Portland in the late 1800s. Apparently our apartment building was constructed right after. […] Not that it’s important but the more you know or whatever.

[DM: Ryan]
Hey. We need to talk about what happened at the end of the bar crawl last Thursday.

[DM: Jesse]
What’s your schedule like tonight?

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	No! Jam parisarrow 2024-02-15 06:35 am UTC (link)
	O[...]kay. Thanks. [...] We will. You too?. With you know, whoever. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam naomimi 2024-02-15 06:40 am UTC (link)
	Hmmm. This feels weird. Should I say something out of pocket? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam parisarrow 2024-02-15 06:51 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, actually, if you could say something really weird and/or gross right now, I'd appreciate that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam naomimi 2024-02-15 06:54 am UTC (link)
	You're about to be spit sisters with that new guy, Marek. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam parisarrow 2024-02-15 06:55 am UTC (link)
	What? No. Ugh. How do you even know that??? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam naomimi 2024-02-15 07:05 am UTC (link)
	I'm incredibly observant. Also, Marek straight up just said that he and Jesse used to date on his first KARMAP post. Seems ... unresolved. Do you not stalk your crushes? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam parisarrow 2024-02-15 07:08 am UTC (link)
	Oh great. Unresolved shit with the new guy who can't organize a bar crawl. I don't """stalk""" my crushes but I do my research. Only recently I was worried about the painting/strange lobby guy thing, so I'm kind of off my game. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam naomimi 2024-02-15 07:12 am UTC (link)
	Tough competition, I know. I’ll wingman for you! […] But, uh, yeah. I get that. Thanks for looking into it, by the way. Although Clayton says we should steer clear of lobby guy (Willie). (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam parisarrow 2024-02-15 07:18 am UTC (link)
	NO (Reply to this) (Parent)

	No! Jam parisarrow 2024-02-15 07:18 am UTC (link)
	Sorry capslock was randomly on and I hit send too soon. I mean no thanks, it's okay. Don't wingman for me. At all. Don't mention it. And okay, noted from Clayton. Ominous lol. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

No! Jam

naomimi
2024-02-15 03:08 pm UTC (link)

Booooo 🍅 ! Why not? I’m good at it, I promise. We can run the ‘I’m interested in purchasing this very cool item, whoops I set it down for a minute, I hope no one else scoops it up’ routine. Or the ‘Ooooh, I’m so hung up on this seemingly average man … WHAT is it about him? Aren’t you interested in finding out?’ routine. Both good options with high success rates.

If it makes you feel better, Clayton says that Willie visits him sometimes. So it’s probably just an old man land dispute or something.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

No! Jam

parisarrow
2024-02-15 07:37 pm UTC (link)

What the hell? Did you throw a tomato at me? 🤨🛡️ I just blocked it with my shield. […] The latter routine seems really risky, like what happens if you both come to the conclusion I am actually average. But the first one. Explain how that works.

Weirdest old man land dispute I’ve ever heard of, but if Clayton is sounding the alarm then I guess we don’t have to worry.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

No! Jam

naomimi
2024-02-16 02:42 am UTC (link)

Hmmm. Good reflexes. [...] The latter routine works because they gotta fuck around to find out if you're average or not, but the first one is definitely better if you're looking for a long-term thing. It's all about creating a scarcity mindset.

It works best if you get him interested first. Maybe two or three dates, a little over-the-pants action. Be very present when you're together, but otherwise aloof. That's where I come in. We strategically get 'caught' in seemingly close and intimate conversations. You make yourself unavailable some nights, but always offer to reschedule. The goal is not to look like you're a fuckboy. No, you want him to think that you're respectfully dating us both and that he needs to demonstrate his value and act fast to lock it down before I do. Guaranteed success unless you're God awful at over-the-pants stuff.

(I trust Clayton with my life, but I can't talk about Clayton right now. We have to focus.)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

No! Jam

parisarrow
2024-02-16 04:02 am UTC (link)

[...]

I mean, I can see how this might work for you and your friends, but already my circumstances do not fit the trajectory of what I think you're going for:

1) Imbalanced interest b/t me and Jesse in his favor, which is common knowledge.
2) I'm pretty much always available unless I'm at my mom's house.
3) I'm not narcissistic enough to presume I can give anyone a handjob better than they can get themselves off, let alone through clothes. To me, first base is oral. Then making out if the vibes are okay.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

No! Jam

naomimi
2024-02-16 08:37 am UTC (link)

1. Is it common knowledge? It wasn’t obvious to me and, as I said, I am very observant.
2. It’s called lying, Joshua. You tell a little lie. “Oh, sorry, I have plans. How about Thursday?” You don’t actually need to have plans. (Also, that’s sweet.)
3. That’s insane. That’s an insane thing to say. And, also, a lie. You made out with Ryan in front of everyone. Would you give Ryan a beej in front of everyone? No. Be serious.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

No! Jam

parisarrow
2024-02-16 08:42 am UTC (link)

1) Common knowledge to me and Jesse, and now you.
2) And that's horrible! What if they fall in love with you because you were so unavailable and then years down the road you have to come clean and yeah, all those times you said you couldn't hang out? Oh, sorry, you were lying and were available the entire time. No. I'm not doing that.
3) I. WAS. DRUNK. AND HE SAID I WAS LIKE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN.

Instead, how about I just do what I always do, which has always worked for me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

No! Jam

naomimi
2024-02-16 02:33 pm UTC (link)

1. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this information but, in any case, the whole point of this particular scheme is to redistribute the balance of interest.
2. [...] It's not THAT horrible. When your love languages are quality time and physical touch, if you don't artificially slow down the getting to know you phase, you end up in artificially serious relationships way too quickly. It's honestly a kindness to find a way to take things slow, in my opinion.
3. Huh? You don't look anything like Bruce Springsteen.

I mean, do whatever you want, obviously, but "first base is oral" does not sound like the mantra of someone with a highly successful dating history. But if you're just trying to hook up, that's different.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

No! Jam

parisarrow
2024-02-16 06:03 pm UTC (link)

Look. Artificially slowing things down is still artificiality. Maybe I just want to be real. And my dating history is good. I’m going to do things my way, the way I’ve always done because it always works for me. And you do things your way with your tactics or whatever, which I’m sure always work out for you.

[…]

And THIS is why I’m like Bruce Springsteen.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam naomimi 2024-02-16 07:12 pm UTC (link)
	Okay, okay, sorry. You're very real, just like Bruce Springsteen. I hear you. I just like to be helpful 🤗 And I'm bored. [...] But that's a personal problem, I know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam parisarrow 2024-02-16 07:35 pm UTC (link)
	Actually, can I ask you a related question. Related to your tactics. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam naomimi 2024-02-16 07:37 pm UTC (link)
	Mhmm. Of course. What's up? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam parisarrow 2024-02-16 07:41 pm UTC (link)
	Ryan said you’ve been riding his ass. […] Is that a tactic? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam naomimi 2024-02-16 07:48 pm UTC (link)
	"Riding his ass"? Seriously? LMAO. What a loser. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	No! Jam parisarrow 2024-02-16 07:51 pm UTC (link)
	~~Because you could ride my ass if you wanted. I’m into that. More than ride, actually. You could do ollies, tricks on it, they’d call you the Blueberry Yuzu Tony Hawk.~~ […] Oh, okay. Just wondering. And he’s not that bad, he’s just like, you know, a musician. I think? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

No! Jam

naomimi
2024-02-16 08:00 pm UTC (link)

Yeah, I know you think he's not bad. We've established that. That's so cool for you both.

Does he WANT me to be a huge bitch to him? Because I can absolutely do that. Like, life is a miserable march from birth to death for all of us, Ryan! That's not an excuse to ooze your loser man vibes all over nice women who are just trying to make things a little nicer for everyone. GOD!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

No! Jam -

parisarrow, 2024-02-16 08:03 pm UTC

No! Jam -

naomimi, 2024-02-16 08:28 pm UTC

No! Jam -

parisarrow, 2024-02-16 08:32 pm UTC

No! Jam -

naomimi, 2024-02-16 10:55 pm UTC

No! Jam -

parisarrow, 2024-02-16 11:22 pm UTC

No! Jam -