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Jacob Selwyn ([info]first_jacob) wrote in [info]_firstwar_hist,
@ 2009-10-26 22:39:00

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Entry tags:* complete, 1978, jacob selwyn, sirius black

The Devil's Greatest Trick...
Characters: Jacob Selwyn and Sirius Black
Date: September 7, 1978
Location: Order Safe House
Rating: TBD
Summary: A meeting of two...somethings.
Status: Complete

Jake had only been in the safe house, and thus the Order, for a few days and it was still a process trying to get used to it. Before being allowed into the house he'd been living in a muggle homeless shelter, something that made him feel incredibly unclean, even now.

He was never alone in the safe house, and while he'd expected and accepted that, it was still more than a little frustrating. It wasn't anything officially done, nothing agreed upon, just something that happened accidentally-on-purpose. No matter where he went in the house, someone was always there with him, and if that person had to leave, another would conveniently show up. He'd been vetted by Dumbledore himself and allowed to live in their secret location; couldn't they at least let him sit in the kitchen in peace? What did they think he was going to do if they let him read a book by himself, or walk from one room to another unobserved?

Still, annoying as it was, he knew that they would leave off it in time as long as he didn't do anything to arouse their suspicions. The fact that he'd lied his ass off through Dumbledore's interview, even cheated the Verisatium, and thus they had every right in the world to mistrust him, didn't alleviate his annoyance one bit. After all, as far as they knew, he was 100% legitimate.

On that particular day, Jake was sitting at the kitchen table doing some busy work. Consolidating different lists of supplies kept at various locations into a master list and making note of anything that needed to be replaced. It was tedious, but he actually didn't mind doing it; it was the first time anyone had actually let him help with something since joining. Evelyn, one of the few other people living at the house with him, was taking her sweet time doing the dishes as an excuse to stick around in the kitchen. When she finally finished and left, he looked up. Sure enough, there was another person entering the kitchen. Someone he hadn't met before, a young man who looked vaguely familiar.

"They send you to babysit?"


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[info]first_jacob
2009-10-27 06:08 pm UTC (link)
Jake knew he was being needled and tried not to let it get to him. Tried and failed. "If find that anything that keeps me positively engaged is preferable to sitting on my ass like a useless lump," he responded, not looking up from his lists. It was boring him senseless, but he wasn't about to do a poor job of it. If he did they'd never give him anything else to do. "I suppose you're just taking a smoke break from your 'little of this and little of that'?"

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[info]first_sirius
2009-10-27 09:39 pm UTC (link)
Pulling the cigarette from his lips, Sirius gave a gesture that fell somewhere between a shrug and a nod, as if conceding that he supposed Jake might have a point. Doing nothing was tediously taxing. Keeping a watchful eye might not have technically been 'nothing' but it felt as if it amounted to just as much.

"If I was on a smoke break, I'd be in a pub," Sirius clarified graciously. Pity that present company wasn't a touch more affable, or Sirius might well have been able to justify a legitimate break and offered to take the latest addition to the Order along with him. Besides, from what Sirius understood about the past year of Jake's life - mostly only what was retold out of necessity - they'd have had to pop of some muggle pub for a drink in public. Not that that was a problem. Almost more to himself than to Jake, Sirius supposed, "Not an ideal venue for paperwork, though."

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[info]first_jacob
2009-10-27 10:00 pm UTC (link)
"Well I guess it's a good thing you're not doing paperwork, then. Undoubtedly it would end up half-finished. Why don't you toddle off to your pub and I'll just stay here like a good boy? Promise I won't even steal the last beer, or whatever it is you people seem so afraid that I'm going to do."

Jake finished copying one list, put it in the 'done' pile, and pulled over the next. His system was a little haphazard since his piles tended to spread almost of their own volition, but it all made sense to Jake. He didn't particularly dislike Sirius, not yet anyway, but was more annoyed at the entire situation. Still, since Sirius kept talking, that was where Jake directed his annoyance.

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[info]first_sirius
2009-10-27 10:22 pm UTC (link)
Perfect. Just what the Order needed. Someone who wanted to sit around doing busywork. Absolutely perfect. It was almost enough to actually be depressing.

"Oh, would that I could, but I'm on the clock," the sardonic words were paired with something that was almost a smile. Jake was clearly aware that he was being watched. So if he knew, and Sirius knew he knew, there was absolutely no point in either one of them pretending with regard to reason why Sirius found himself sitting across the table from Jake. The only actual relief from what would otherwise be unbearable boredom was the fact that Jake seemed content to carry on a conversation. "Besides, it's much more likely that you'll just go stir crazy, snap, and try setting the place ablaze before turning your wand on yourself- seeing as to how we've got no beer to begin with."

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[info]first_jacob
2009-10-27 10:44 pm UTC (link)
"Well, fear not, I'll be sure to come after you first and make it look like your careless smoking started the fire."

He picked out a stack of lists and slid them across the table to Sirius. "If you're on the clock, might as well make yourself useful. Either that or find a subject that's actually interesting."

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[info]first_sirius
2009-10-27 11:02 pm UTC (link)
"Well, at least you've got a plan, then."

Despite his bringing up Sirius's smoking, again, Sirius wasn't about to abdicate the habit on such meager allusions. If Jake wanted him to stop, then Jake was welcome to make such a request.

His gaze flitted down to the stack of papers in front of him. Lifting the top sheet of parchment from the pile, Sirius glanced it over as if contemplating whether or not he'd comply. Honestly, it was hard to tell if they were legitimate or if they were simply concocted to keep Jake's hands from growing idle.

"Enlighten me, Mr. Selwyn- what subjects do you find interesting?" Sirius's voice had gone a bit smooth as his focus condensed down to the man across the table. Part of him expected Jake to evade. It wasn't that Sirius suspected the answer might entail some variation on 'how best to suffocate a muggle baby in its sleep,' Jake just didn't quite seem like the sharing sort.

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[info]first_jacob
2009-10-27 11:09 pm UTC (link)
"Anything that requires more brain cells that gossiping," he answered, not looking up from his work. He intended to get done before dinner, and since cleaning up lists didn't take a whole lot of thought he could do that and keep up with Sirius at the same time. "The merits of using illegal potions ingredients, the morality of casting Unforgivable Curses on your friends, how best to murder unsuspecting muggleborns. You know, the usual."

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[info]first_sirius
2009-10-27 11:49 pm UTC (link)
The corner of Sirius's mouth actually lifted. At least Jake had a glimmer of personality- even if it was something a non-answer. Sirius happened to think that the potions ingredient scheduling system was more politics than practicality, but that was hardly a topic he felt the need to rehash so Sirius let things lapse into a sort of silence for a moment. He traded the cigarette case for his wand, summoning a quill. Even the laziest draw of Sirius's hand across the first piece of parchment produced sort on fluid penmanship with a slanted sort of elegance that it looked nearly feminine, but there was simply nothing for it.

"Those Death Eaters who attacked you..." he mused, "ever find out what happened to them?"

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[info]first_jacob
2009-10-27 11:58 pm UTC (link)
Jake's quill stopped scratching for a full second before he went on, attempting to act like the question hadn't bothered him. Although in reality he still had nightmares about that fight. And not just because of what injuries he'd taken away from it but because it was the first time he'd ever honestly wanted and tried to kill a man. And the first time he'd been disappointed that it hadn't worked.

"One will spend the rest of his life sitting down and the other, unfortunately, managed a full recovery. Why, curious to see if I'm going be any real danger after that snap you predicted?"

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[info]first_sirius
2009-10-28 12:21 am UTC (link)
Something to that snagged Sirius's more genuine interest. Dueling was something Sirius had always warmed to, perhaps a little too eagerly by some people's reckoning. The days of dueling for fun at Hogwarts seemed a bit distant, but the gritty sort of honesty to a real fight was uniquely endearing. His mind couldn't help turning over exactly how it might play out if he found himself at the business end of Jake's wand.

"More just hoping for a little good news," Sirius all but sighed, not looking up. A Death Eater who couldn't walk was hardly what Sirius would call out of commission. Still, he did appreciate that Jake seemed a bit disappointed.

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[info]first_jacob
2009-10-28 12:49 am UTC (link)
"Yes, because I always consider it good news to hear that someone was in a bitter, terrifying fight for their life and was forced to permanently cripple someone. Tell you, it just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."

Jake focused on his list, appearing uninterested but not liking where Sirius was trying to steer the conversation.

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[info]first_sirius
2009-10-28 01:00 am UTC (link)
Bitter seemed to be the appropriate word. It made little sense to Sirius; Death Eaters really ought to anticipate that trying to kill someone would generally incline that same someone to fight as if his life depended on it. Hearing that a couple of Death Eaters had been put down would've been appreciated, because at least then it would feel like maybe something was really getting done. Instead of just mindless paperwork.

Sirius's hand paused and his stormy eyes wandered back to regard Jake. His voice had a practiced neutrality when he asked, "Do you have qualms with killing?"

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[info]first_jacob
2009-10-28 01:07 am UTC (link)
Jake stopped writing long enough to look up at Sirius like he was an idiot. Possibly deranged. At the very least a good bit unhinged. "Yes. Yes, of course I have qualms with killing people. What the hell is wrong with you?"

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[info]first_sirius
2009-10-28 01:35 am UTC (link)
Sirius didn't actually think they let Slytherins graduate if they were so naive. Did Jake really believe it wasn't going to come to that? People were disappearing. And unlike Jake here, not all of them turned up again. He'd expected a bit more of Jake, who'd at least had the misfortune of actually meeting a few.

His head tilted slightly as he attempted to fathom the though process before him. For the first time Sirius entertained legitimate doubts about Jake's capacity- actually, the Order's really, to do what might be, what would probably be necessary. Death Eaters had the full measure of conviction. Sirius knew that conviction all too well. There was no reasoning with it. The only way to overwhelm it would be to respond in kind.

So, could a man opposed to killing find the will to do so? Could he compel himself to act against his conscience? Survival a strong drive that pardoned all manner of sins, but for this, to deal with that Sirius thought they were dealing with, they would have to do more than simply survive.

"Quite a lot, it would seem." There was a light curl to Sirius's lips, but it was quite a merry thing. The truth of his thoughts seemed too dirty and ugly to be spoken aloud in middle of the safe house's kitchen- and that, more than anything, troubled him.

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[info]first_jacob
2009-10-28 01:42 am UTC (link)
Jake regarded him for a second more before he sneered slightly. He'd never been asked a question like that so bluntly, so crassly, but after he got over the shock of it his brain kicked into gear again. "You're a Gryffindor, aren't you? All bluster and dreams of glory. Probably never been in a real fight in your life. Bloody bully who wants to change the world and thinks he's dangerous and edgy because he's willing to 'go dark.'"

He chuckled a little, without humor, and looked back at his parchment. "Probably piss your pants when you ever get in a real fight. You don't have a clue."

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[info]first_sirius
2009-10-28 02:01 am UTC (link)
Darkness was a concept tossed around too liberally. It was only years of practice that prevented Sirius from wincing as his mother's words echoed in his mind. As if to combat the mere inclination, Sirius's smile sliced across his features.

"First in my family," Sirius affirmed with no small amount of pride. "And I'm sure I wouldn't know a real fight if it hit me in the face," he agreed, though the sentiment lacked a certain earnestness.

A mocking jibe was fine, but sincerely attempting to sing one's own praises was a base enterprise. Engaging as he had suddenly become, Jacob Selwyn was in no way entitled to the private thoughts and buried fears of Sirius's self. Far better that Sirius let himself be seen as someone who had to reach for dark magic, rather than someone who kept a taut grip to keep it restrained.

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[info]first_jacob
2009-10-28 02:25 am UTC (link)
Jake took his comment as ironic, sure that Sirius was every bit as cocky as any other Gryffindor idiot out there. "Think whatever you want, little boy. God help you when it actually happens and you become a man."

Jake wasn't willing to share his own thoughts on the matter either, especially with an arrogant bastard who thought it was actually appropriate to make small talk about killing people.

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[info]first_sirius
2009-10-28 02:38 am UTC (link)
What a charming contradiction. A fight for his life would make him a man, but only a just man so long as his intent was not to harm whoever sought his blood? Invoking a singular god sat poorly with Sirius. He preferred his gods many, and petty, and charmingly flawed. Sacred and accessible.

"Your.... 'ethics' permit no moral killing, then?" Sirius couldn't help asking. Would Jake rather see them Kissed? Worse than death, that, by Sirius's reckoning. A living hell. At least, for all Sirius's faults, he had the capacity for mercy. "This god of yours sees no justice in killing a man who seeks to kill those you love?"

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[info]first_jacob
2009-10-28 02:53 am UTC (link)
"Oh, for the love of- It's a figure of speech, moron. And I'll kill when I have to, but I will always have an issue with it because, frankly, anyone who enjoys taking a life is a psychopath. Now do everyone a favor and keep your half-assed philosophy to yourself until you know what you're talking about that."

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[info]first_sirius
2009-10-28 03:21 am UTC (link)
Sirius chuckled a bit in earnest, a low, rumbling thing. What leaps of logic. One did as one must, and willingness to kill did not equate to enjoying the practice. To only do what one enjoyed smacked of sloth. A crass sort of vexation. Climbers, his father had once called the Selwyns - attempting to recover lost ground, really - and it was hard to shake the echo.

And yet, something snagged. These weren't the ramblings of pureblood mania, the sort of righteous zeal Sirius had come to expect from those likely to support the Death Eater cause. There was something comforting to that. As if maybe Dumbledore was right about Jake. Wouldn't that be pleasant. Tragic, perhaps, but pleasant in its own way.

"As my comrade wishes, of course," Sirius bequeathed, turning his attention back the pointless piece of parchment.

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[info]first_jacob
2009-10-28 03:43 am UTC (link)
Jake couldn't care less what the other man thought of him and was just grateful that he'd shut up finally. Though internally he wondered how long it would take him to ask another asinine question. He applied himself to his work instead, knowing that, in the Order, loud-mouth Gryffindors were going to be unavoidable so he might as well just get used to them.

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