InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Eat glass!"

Jacob Selwyn (first_jacob) wrote in _firstwar_hist,
@ 2009-10-26 22:39:00

Entry tags:

* complete, 1978, jacob selwyn, sirius black

The Devil's Greatest Trick...
Characters: Jacob Selwyn and Sirius Black
Date: September 7, 1978
Location: Order Safe House
Rating: TBD
Summary: A meeting of two...somethings.
Status: Complete

Jake had only been in the safe house, and thus the Order, for a few days and it was still a process trying to get used to it. Before being allowed into the house he'd been living in a muggle homeless shelter, something that made him feel incredibly unclean, even now.

He was never alone in the safe house, and while he'd expected and accepted that, it was still more than a little frustrating. It wasn't anything officially done, nothing agreed upon, just something that happened accidentally-on-purpose. No matter where he went in the house, someone was always there with him, and if that person had to leave, another would conveniently show up. He'd been vetted by Dumbledore himself and allowed to live in their secret location; couldn't they at least let him sit in the kitchen in peace? What did they think he was going to do if they let him read a book by himself, or walk from one room to another unobserved?

Still, annoying as it was, he knew that they would leave off it in time as long as he didn't do anything to arouse their suspicions. The fact that he'd lied his ass off through Dumbledore's interview, even cheated the Verisatium, and thus they had every right in the world to mistrust him, didn't alleviate his annoyance one bit. After all, as far as they knew, he was 100% legitimate.

On that particular day, Jake was sitting at the kitchen table doing some busy work. Consolidating different lists of supplies kept at various locations into a master list and making note of anything that needed to be replaced. It was tedious, but he actually didn't mind doing it; it was the first time anyone had actually let him help with something since joining. Evelyn, one of the few other people living at the house with him, was taking her sweet time doing the dishes as an excuse to stick around in the kitchen. When she finally finished and left, he looked up. Sure enough, there was another person entering the kitchen. Someone he hadn't met before, a young man who looked vaguely familiar.

"They send you to babysit?"

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	first_jacob 2009-10-28 01:07 am UTC (link)
	Jake stopped writing long enough to look up at Sirius like he was an idiot. Possibly deranged. At the very least a good bit unhinged. "Yes. Yes, of course I have qualms with killing people. What the hell is wrong with you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

first_sirius
2009-10-28 01:35 am UTC (link)

Sirius didn't actually think they let Slytherins graduate if they were so naive. Did Jake really believe it wasn't going to come to that? People were disappearing. And unlike Jake here, not all of them turned up again. He'd expected a bit more of Jake, who'd at least had the misfortune of actually meeting a few.

His head tilted slightly as he attempted to fathom the though process before him. For the first time Sirius entertained legitimate doubts about Jake's capacity- actually, the Order's really, to do what might be, what would probably be necessary. Death Eaters had the full measure of conviction. Sirius knew that conviction all too well. There was no reasoning with it. The only way to overwhelm it would be to respond in kind.

So, could a man opposed to killing find the will to do so? Could he compel himself to act against his conscience? Survival a strong drive that pardoned all manner of sins, but for this, to deal with that Sirius thought they were dealing with, they would have to do more than simply survive.

"Quite a lot, it would seem." There was a light curl to Sirius's lips, but it was quite a merry thing. The truth of his thoughts seemed too dirty and ugly to be spoken aloud in middle of the safe house's kitchen- and that, more than anything, troubled him.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

first_jacob
2009-10-28 01:42 am UTC (link)

Jake regarded him for a second more before he sneered slightly. He'd never been asked a question like that so bluntly, so crassly, but after he got over the shock of it his brain kicked into gear again. "You're a Gryffindor, aren't you? All bluster and dreams of glory. Probably never been in a real fight in your life. Bloody bully who wants to change the world and thinks he's dangerous and edgy because he's willing to 'go dark.'"

He chuckled a little, without humor, and looked back at his parchment. "Probably piss your pants when you ever get in a real fight. You don't have a clue."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

first_sirius
2009-10-28 02:01 am UTC (link)

Darkness was a concept tossed around too liberally. It was only years of practice that prevented Sirius from wincing as his mother's words echoed in his mind. As if to combat the mere inclination, Sirius's smile sliced across his features.

"First in my family," Sirius affirmed with no small amount of pride. "And I'm sure I wouldn't know a real fight if it hit me in the face," he agreed, though the sentiment lacked a certain earnestness.

A mocking jibe was fine, but sincerely attempting to sing one's own praises was a base enterprise. Engaging as he had suddenly become, Jacob Selwyn was in no way entitled to the private thoughts and buried fears of Sirius's self. Far better that Sirius let himself be seen as someone who had to reach for dark magic, rather than someone who kept a taut grip to keep it restrained.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

first_jacob
2009-10-28 02:25 am UTC (link)

Jake took his comment as ironic, sure that Sirius was every bit as cocky as any other Gryffindor idiot out there. "Think whatever you want, little boy. God help you when it actually happens and you become a man."

Jake wasn't willing to share his own thoughts on the matter either, especially with an arrogant bastard who thought it was actually appropriate to make small talk about killing people.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

first_sirius
2009-10-28 02:38 am UTC (link)

What a charming contradiction. A fight for his life would make him a man, but only a just man so long as his intent was not to harm whoever sought his blood? Invoking a singular god sat poorly with Sirius. He preferred his gods many, and petty, and charmingly flawed. Sacred and accessible.

"Your.... 'ethics' permit no moral killing, then?" Sirius couldn't help asking. Would Jake rather see them Kissed? Worse than death, that, by Sirius's reckoning. A living hell. At least, for all Sirius's faults, he had the capacity for mercy. "This god of yours sees no justice in killing a man who seeks to kill those you love?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	first_jacob 2009-10-28 02:53 am UTC (link)
	"Oh, for the love of- It's a figure of speech, moron. And I'll kill when I have to, but I will always have an issue with it because, frankly, anyone who enjoys taking a life is a psychopath. Now do everyone a favor and keep your half-assed philosophy to yourself until you know what you're talking about that." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

first_sirius
2009-10-28 03:21 am UTC (link)

Sirius chuckled a bit in earnest, a low, rumbling thing. What leaps of logic. One did as one must, and willingness to kill did not equate to enjoying the practice. To only do what one enjoyed smacked of sloth. A crass sort of vexation. Climbers, his father had once called the Selwyns - attempting to recover lost ground, really - and it was hard to shake the echo.

And yet, something snagged. These weren't the ramblings of pureblood mania, the sort of righteous zeal Sirius had come to expect from those likely to support the Death Eater cause. There was something comforting to that. As if maybe Dumbledore was right about Jake. Wouldn't that be pleasant. Tragic, perhaps, but pleasant in its own way.

"As my comrade wishes, of course," Sirius bequeathed, turning his attention back the pointless piece of parchment.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	first_jacob 2009-10-28 03:43 am UTC (link)
	Jake couldn't care less what the other man thought of him and was just grateful that he'd shut up finally. Though internally he wondered how long it would take him to ask another asinine question. He applied himself to his work instead, knowing that, in the Order, loud-mouth Gryffindors were going to be unavoidable so he might as well just get used to them. (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -