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Tweak says, "Tweakster's in da room"

OMFG! Anakin might do ~something~ *pearl clutch* (darkforcerising) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2018-12-12 10:01:00

Entry tags:

anakin skywalker, cisco ramon (vibe), lily evans, michael glass, stiles stilinski

Okay, I've reached a point I can't not yell about this anymore.

*I get it now why my Dream-self turns on everyone and becomes Space Satan.

I'm born into slavery, abused daily until some religious fanatic comes along and takes me away from the only stable thing I have, my mother, and brings me to a fucking rich ivory tower to be judged by his fellow religious fanatics to get me into their semi-cult. I'll admit the first guy isn't terrible, but the guys in the ivory tower are self-righteous assholes.

And guess what: the self-righteous assholes don't want me! They practically recoil in disgust at me- I'm sorry, the slave kid from a waterless planet is too grimy for you? It's not just that though, the reason they give is because I care about my mother who is still trapped in slavery.

They literally call me dangerous, imply I'm evil, because I care about a person who is being abused.

They don't give a shit about what I've been through, or what my mother's been through, and they sure as hell weren't shocked to learn slavery still exists in their nation they've sworn to protect from cruelty and injustice. I guess it's peace and justice only for the well-paying?

So great, I have no home, neither as a slave or a free child because those religious fanatics don't even care enough to figure out where I can go.

But a few days later, when I accidentally help 'the good people' by blowing up a space station of 'bad guys' that has about a hundred people on it, those religious fuckers are all 'We want that.' This is fucked up! I get warfare and I'm not morally opposed to fighting against someone who's oppressing you. But I'm 9 years old! Kids shouldn't be fighting in wars! Who sees that and thinks 'Yes we should be teaching a nine year old to kill people'?

You can't raise an abused child to psychopathically detach from their emotions for the purpose of being your fucking weapon. Mystery solved.

Fuck the Jedi. And fuck this place, too.

*[OOC: cut for swearing and length]

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	onlygoodvibes 2018-12-12 07:37 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sorry, the dreams suck sometimes. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	darkforcerising 2018-12-12 08:28 pm UTC (link)
	The Dreams suck all the time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlygoodvibes 2018-12-12 08:43 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know about always. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	darkforcerising 2018-12-12 08:49 pm UTC (link)
	In my Dreams, I grow up and then kill everyone I love. There is a strong possibility that the same power that facilitated my betrayal of my friends and family back in my Dream Universe will do the same thing here. And the only way to stop me is to kill me. There isn’t a ‘not always’ for me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlygoodvibes 2018-12-12 08:51 pm UTC (link)
	You don't have to do it here. You can remain who you are. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	darkforcerising 2018-12-12 09:19 pm UTC (link)
	There’s a distinct possibility that I’ll Dream of that time and I’ll just wake up that person. I don’t have a control over that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlygoodvibes 2018-12-12 10:53 pm UTC (link)
	We'll have to try to prepare for that in the meantime. But I refuse to accept one day that you'll just try to murder us all. We'll figure something out. Otherwise what's the point of these second lives? Give us hope and crush it?..I don't think the world is that awful. .It can't be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	darkforcerising 2018-12-12 11:28 pm UTC (link)
	You think i’ve Had hope from the start? All my Dreams are about me being abused or watching my mother being abused. I haven’t been given any chance to have hope yet. And I told you before, I’m working on a way to take me out if I turn into that monster. I’m not going to saddle anyone here with the responsibility of doing that for me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlygoodvibes 2018-12-13 12:43 am UTC (link)
	Oh. What about this place, it's better than there isn't it? I know, and I told you before, you don't need to do it alone. I still want to help. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

darkforcerising
2018-12-13 04:46 am UTC (link)

Really? Because we have abominable snowmen creeping on us right now.

I know no one knows what this place will do. But there isn't an outcome where I survive - think it through, who would you be after experiencing 23 years worth of memories of killing your friends and family, torturing and murdering countless others, destroying communities, genocide, and not just feeling like you're living through it, but the real feelings of justification and satisfaction at doing all of it.

Don't tell me you'd still be you. Don't lie like that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlygoodvibes 2018-12-13 05:14 am UTC (link)
	¯\_(ツ)_/¯ How about what else we do have? Friends, no mass genocide. I don't know, what I am saying is you have people here. You aren't alone. We're not just going to let you do that. Things can be different. I'm not saying they weren't awful there, but here why not try trusting the people around you just a little bit? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	darkforcerising 2018-12-13 05:23 am UTC (link)
	You're not getting it. Having friends doesn't mean you hate yourself less for the terrible things you've done. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlygoodvibes 2018-12-13 05:28 am UTC (link)
	Maybe not, but I still think we can help you. If you let us. I just don't want to lose you to that. Don't let it consume you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	darkforcerising 2018-12-13 06:10 am UTC (link)
	I know you're trying to help. Thanks. ~~But it isn't en~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlygoodvibes 2018-12-13 06:12 am UTC (link)
	I'm trying, I don't know everything you're going through but I'm here. Any time, you know that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	darkforcerising 2018-12-13 10:13 pm UTC (link)
	Do you want to come over and sling shot at snowmen from the roof of my building (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlygoodvibes 2018-12-13 10:52 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, we can do that. I could bring the laser drone too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	darkforcerising 2018-12-13 10:59 pm UTC (link)
	You can bring it for yourself. I want to feel more connected to the act of hitting them in the head. Don’t analyze that too closely . I just kind of hate this place right now and want to take out my feelings on non-sentient annoyances. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlygoodvibes 2018-12-14 01:00 am UTC (link)
	Er, I'll try not to. Just directing it at them might do you some good. ~~Well I guess we'll see anyway just don't go insane with it and~~ I understand. I mean the recent string of dreams wasn't to pleasant for me either, but not like this. They're inanimate objects, I think it's fine. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	darkforcerising 2018-12-14 01:05 am UTC (link)
	I can feel that they aren’t sentient. Not any more than snow ever is. I know how to use a sling shot. Nothing will get out of hand. [OOC: log?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlygoodvibes 2018-12-14 01:12 am UTC (link)
	Well then, I don't see any harm in that. Unless you're related to Frosty. Okay. [ooc: sure :)] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	darkforcerising 2018-12-14 04:03 am UTC (link)
	OOC: here you go - http://asylums.insanejournal.com/valarlogs/3818414.html (Reply to this) (Parent)

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