Thaneros Online Magazine

I shorted out the stove today. Spilled a little instant-ramen broth on the controls, and zap! That was all she wrote. Lucky thing I figured out how to unplug the whole shebang, or we'd have a smoking crater for a house right now, and then who'd feed the fish? Still, we are left stove-less until Dad fixes things.

I think the next level of fail is to set something on fire. This is why I really should stay out of the kitchen. -_-

On the subject of Winterthing presents (NOOOOOOOOOOooooo....), I think I'll be giving out skibbles or something this year. I about killed myself crocheting something for everyone last year, and I'm pretty sure everyone's sick of yarnthings anyway. ;P I'd do baked goods, but, well, see above re: kitchen fail.

So, I emailed my former professors at OIP&T hoping to get a recommendation towards a brand-new college. The emails were returned as undeliverable. Went to the website to see what's up.

Turns out, the programs I graduated from? Don't exist anymore.

This is not a good sign.

After several years of not cooking, I’ve been getting back into it lately.  I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have people to cook for.  In Chicago I was pretty much on my own and limited my culinary activities to making myself salads.  Now however, I have my grandmother and parents in close proximity and willing to eat whatever I prepare. 

 

My mother writes and self-publishes books about local history.  She’s planning a party in about two weeks to thank the people who helped her on her latest book.  Since she doesn’t like cooking and I do I’m going to be doing a lot of the food preparation.  The tea I went to on Halloween gave me some great ideas (glazed pumpkin scones, walnut bread with cream cheese and apple slices, pumpkin pie meringues) and I’ve also been watching Food Network for inspiration.

 

Last night I was watching a Halloween themed “Horror Cake Challenge” and I was surprised to see a familiar face.  One of the competing chefs was Michelle Garcia from Bleeding Heart Bakery.  Bleeding Heart is a funky organic bakery in Chicago.  They were originally located in the Ukrainian Village neighborhood right down the street from my sister’s place then a couple years ago they moved to Damen and Belmont, only a couple blocks from the Whole Foods where I worked.  Michelle occasionally came into the market.  She was easy to recognize with her pink dreadlocks and prominent tattoos of mixing bowls and egg beaters.  Unfortunately Michelle didn’t win the Challenge or the $10,000 prize but I always considered her to be a local celebrity of my Chicago days so it was ever so cool to see her on national TV. 

Screw you too, body. Screw you too.

...there were Pancakes, and Pie, and Presents, and this birthday is brought to you by the letter P oh my god I totally did not do that on purpose. XD Also Phone Calls from my grandparents argh there I go again! And DDR Hottest Party 2, which is quite fun, although I think the Wii dance pad is a bit smaller and less forgiving of crooked steps than my PS2 one. (A bad workman blames his tools, a bad dancer blames her dance pad, I know, I know.) Anyway, despite the increased fail, I did dance on it twice today, which is probably a record for me.

Oh my sweet zombie Jesus, I'm 25. *angst angst angst*

I'm kind of envious of all the NaNo people (so, like, half my flist this year). I'd love to do it, but - well, I've got a ton of other stuff to work on. My goal this month is to finish those four springkink prompts I Epic Fail'd on last round, and sneak them in on this round. At least then I'd have one less thing to feel guilty over. ...Oh, and also this stupid 'personal essay' bull I have to do for applying to this university. I hate doing those things. They combine the gut-wrenching panic of a test you haven't studied for with the shame and madness of exposing your fragile psyche to some faceless strangers who have the power to decide your immediate and long-term fate. ...Or maybe that's just me.

My parents and I went to a literary high tea with a Halloween theme yesterday. 

 

It was held at a church in Jordanville, a small town about 45 minutes from our home.  It started off with tea and a course of all different kinds of little sandwiches, and then a story was read a loud.  After that there was more tea and a course of scones.  This was followed by two more stories and finally a dessert course. 

 

The first story read was “The Most Haunted House” from Spooks of the Valley edited by Louis C. Jones, a legendary folklorist in our area who put together several books of local ghost stories he collected.  The second story was Shirley Jackson’s always chilling “The Lottery” and the final story was Roald Dahl’s darkly humorous “Lamb to the Slaughter”. 

 

I admit I was a little disappointed that only the first story dealt with supernatural horror but still, it was quite an enjoyable and unusual way to celebrate one of my favorite holidays.  Being me I didn’t eat anything but it was interesting to see all the different things that were served and I got some ideas for things to make for the book release party my mother holding later this month. 

I’ve deeply drawn to the films of Lars Von Tier. There’s something about his worldview that validates the pessimism about human nature that I feel as a chronic depressive. Stephan Rylance’s review of Von Tier’s lastest movie, AntiChrist, really clarified this aspect of Von Tier’s work for me.

The Agonies of an Antichrist by Stephan Rylance

On the liter side is “Truly, Truly Outragous”, an article on Samantha Newark who was the speaking voice of Jem (Britta Phillips was her singing voice) on the 1980’s cartoon series Jem and the Holograms. Jem was a great show and the interview addresses it’s gay appeal and even mentions fan fiction.

Truly, Truly Outrageous by Noah Michelson

During August and September when I was still working at the supermarket I developed a daily after work ritual—I’d put on the soundtrack to Inglourios Basterds and polish off an entire bottle of wine while playing Farmville on Facebook. It’s only been a little more than a month but I already feel a combination of horror and deep nostalgia for that time in my life. The soundtrack however I have only enthusiasm for. It was recently posted on The American Nightmare, a music blog I sometimes follow and I would strongly recommend it.

Inglorious Basterds Soundtrack at The American Nightmare

Have I mentioned how much I love the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History? If they'd let me set up a cot in the gift shop, I'd totally spend a week there. I may attempt it once they open the Hall of Human Origins. I'm a bit of a geek.

The reason I gush is because my parents took me to the Museum today, as a birthday Thing. It's been a while since I've been in DC, now that I think about it - not since the Cherry Blossom Festival, which was in early April. Anyway, was a lovely time. We spent most of the day in the fossil exhibit and the Hall of Mammals. Dinosaurs! :DDD And and ancient ancestors of dolphins and horses and turtles and dogs and something that I swear is an ancient ancestor of a chocobo. XD So that was a lot of fun, and now I have a plushie whale to play with too. (Needs a name.)

And then after that there was amazingly-awesome dinner at a Korean barbecue place. Om nom nom.

.......Tired now. *thud*

EDIT: Almost forgot! I found a Chick tract entitled 'Who Is Allah?' on the Metro on the way back. It's currently stashed in a plastic bag in my purse until I figure out what to do with it. A ritualistic burning and burying of the ashes seems ideal, or I could just scan in some choice bits and let y'all mock it.

It's the Halloween Meme, ganked from (lj)artoni! Because I won't be going trick-or-treating for realz. *sad*

01 ► Create a graphic (200 x 200 max size) to represent your personal "candy". It should have your username on it, but otherwise can feature whatever you want. Make it something special since it's self-representative.

02 ► Make a post with the subject "trick or treat?". Put your "candy" somewhere in it, and be sure to repost these instructions.

03 ► Then, go around other people's LJs and reply to them with either "trick" or "treat". If you reply with "trick", they will give you an LJ dare that you have to perform before taking their candy. If you're too wimpy for that, simply say "treat" and take their candy.

04 ► List all your collected candies in your original "trick or treat?" post to show off your collection, being sure not to direct-link! Mine is on tinypic, so feel free.

Here's my candy:


And the candy I've gotten so far:

Carved a pumpkin, all by myself. Why a fish? Well, it's less obvious than a face.

Also, I listened to the TF:TM soundtrack at work. With the volume up. Just in case there was any lingering doubt among my coworkers that I am the dweebiest dweeb that ever dweebed.

Seph/Zack/Cloud, pregame smut. :D As requested by ardwynna.

( Yes, he's doing it on purpose. )

I just finished reading Cornelia Funke’s Inkheart.  It was really wonderful.  It’s the story of a twelve year old girl named Meggie whose life with her bookbinder father, Mo, is disrupted when Dustfinger, a charming but untrustworthy figure from her father’s past appears at their house one night with a mysterious warning.  Gradually, Meggie learns that her father has the power to read people and things into and out of books and that nine years before he brought the Dustfinger as well as the villainous Capricorn and his henchman Basta to this world while accidentally banishing his wife into the pages of a book titled Inkheart. 

 

Capricorn, who has established himself as a crime lord, is after Mo hoping to use the bookbinders magical gift for his own gain.  Kindhearted but deserate to return to his own world Dustfinger is sometimes helps, sometimes hinders Meggie and Mo.  Their other allies are Meggie’s great-aunt Elinor, a devoted book collector, Farid a boy Mo reads out of The Arabian Nights, and Fenoglio, the author of Inkheart.

 

While Capricorn and his henchmen are certainly evil-- ruthless brutes who cheerfully commit arson and murder—Funke is not afraid to make her heroes deeply ambiguous.  Dustfinger’s loyalties are always questionable, Farid has a fascination for fire that sometimes make it seem as though he would be more at home among Capricorn’s followers than his enemies, Elinor lives in and for books and has little use for people, Mo keeps secrets from his daughter, Meggie herself is possessive of her father to the point where she isn’t sure that she wants to see her mother returned from the pages of Inkheart and Fenoglio takes an almost megalomaniac pleasure in the face that the characters he created have come to life.  Far from detracting from them, these flaws make the characters seem more human and in the end, even more heroic.

 

Inkheart is an exciting adventure story but it is all about books and the way stories can transform and enrich the world.  Books have great power in the world of Inkheart.  On the most superficial level Meggie, Mo and Elinor all love and value books, both for their content and as physical objects while Capricorn and his men are largely illiterate and actually burn books yet it is not that clean cut.  Books are not without their dangers.  This is illustrated by Elinor’s distain of real people and general disconnect from life as well as by the fact that the villain of the piece, Capricorn, actually comes from a book.  It is not just Mo’s power but Fenoglio’s skill as a writer that allows Capricorn to come to life.  The worlds that books open are far from harmless. 

 

I felt like Funke was very brave in introducing themes that couldn’t be easily resolved.  The easy way is to say “books should never be burned, books can’t harm anyone.”  Funke says “books should never be burned, but books just might have the power to burn you.”

 

There are two more volumes in the Inkworld Trilogy as it’s called, Inkspell and Inkdeath.  I’m looking forward to going to the library and devouring them.


German and English editions of Inkheart

Whenever I’m confronted with a situation my first instinct is to curl up and die.  Luckily my second instinct is who get up, figure out what I have to do and do it so I managed to  work things out so I won’t have to go off my medication. 

 

I had enough Abilify (the most expensive of my meds) to last two weeks so ended up refilling my generic Prozac and getting then got two weeks worth of Cymbalta.  It wound up costing about $145.  Hopefully by the time I run out of everything my insurance company will have received and possessed my payment for October and November and I’ll be properly covered.

 

I have to say dealing with health insurance and trying to keep myself in meds is always good for a sleepless night. 

Because I have got to break this writer's block before I go insane. And also because I am quite frankly sick to death of my own angst.

Porn prompts especially appreciated.

I’ve come to expect that if something can go wrong with health insurance it will and it apparently has in the case of my COBRA plan.  I found out today when I was trying to refill my antidepressant prescriptions that it’ll be about two weeks till my coverage kicks in.  In the meantime I have to decide if I’m going to shell out around $800 for meds or go without. 

 

This situation is mainly my fault—I apparently misunderstood something in the 20 page COBRA starter packet—but still it seems like a really bad state of affairs that people have to face choices like this.  I’d like to see a world where you could get the medication you needed without going through huge bureaucratic hassles and/or spending a fortune.  I’m lucky of course.  Withdrawal from my cocktail of psycho-active drugs isn’t going to be pleasant and it’s certainly not medically advisable but I don’t know that anyone has ever died from going off Cymbalta, Prozac and Abilify.  I know there are people out there who face life and death choice with regards to medication.

 

I know there are many people who consider socialized medicine a terrible thing and are against President Obama’s proposed Healthcare reforms (my father is of this opinion as are several of my high school friends who I communicate with through Facebook).  I don’t want to belittle their views but However from my perspective, that of  an individual who doesn’t have a lot of money and suffers from a chronic medical condition, healthcare reform seems necessary and socialized medicine seems like a really great thing.

On Friday I went to an exhibit at the Fenimore Art Museum called “American’s Rome: Artists in the Eternal City 1800-1900 that spotlighted the Roman themed work of 19^th century American Artists. The exhibit included many painting of ruins and the commentary on these featured a quote from Nathaniel Hawthorne’s novel The Marble Faun that I really liked:

“(America is) a land where there is no shadow, no antiquity, no mystery, no picturesque and gloomy wrong, nor anything but a common-place prosperity, in broad and simple daylight… Romance and poetry need Ruin to make them grow.”

Reading this I couldn’t help but add horror to Hawthorne’s list of ideas that require Ruin to thrive. Horror often mines ancient evils. Hawthorne himself looked back to his puritan ancestors in House of the Seven Gables and The Scarlet Letter. Later H. P. Lovecraft would create a dark New England of sinister in-bred ghouls and otherworldly terrors. Stephan King’s characters stir up paranormal discord by unearthing Indian burial grounds. America then does have its picturesque and gloomy wrongs, either uncovered or created, but I can see the appeal of European settings, of the “old world” and its imagery. Though it’s been tarnished by war, murder, injustice, evil and insanity America remains comparatively shiny and new.

In Alan Moore’s graphic novel From Hell there’s an amazing chapter where William Gull gives a tour of London spanning from druid times to the present day, revealing layer upon layer of history and mystery. It’s simply not possible to give such a tour of an American city. Because Native American culture and lore was essentially erased even the oldest parts of the country only go back a few centuries. The idea of a thousand or even two thousand years of documented, known, decaying history fascinates me.

It doesn’t surprise me that many of Edger Allen Poe’s most popular short stories are set in a mythical Europe and draw on centuries old imagery of the inquisition, skeleton filled catacombs and ancient family lineages. I thought of stories like The Pit and the Pendulum, Masque of the Red Death and The Fall of the House of Usher when I read Hawthorne’s quote.

I also thought of Hostel, a film I watched a couple of weeks ago for the first time. An extremely violent tale of American’s abroad who are lured to a hostel that provides victims for those willing to pay to murder and torture, Hostel was widely criticized when it was released for exploiting post-9/11 xenophobia and paranoia. Meditating on the quote by Hawthorne however I feel like it belongs in an older, gothic tradition where the American consciousness is mesmerized and frightened by the mystery and gloomy wrongs of an older world.