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snarrymod ([info]snarrymod) wrote in [info]snarry_games,
@ 2008-05-28 08:15:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:entry, loupgarou1750, team dragon

TEAM DRAGON ENTRY: Loupgarou1750 "Sadness of Eros"
Title: Sadness of Eros
Author: [info]loupgarou1750
Team: Dragon
Genres: Angst
Prompt: Infidelity, Reckoning
Ratings/Warnings/Kinks: Rated NC-17. *Public sex. Het sex. Violence. Infidelity. *
Word Count: 63,000 +/-
Summary: The open palm of desire wants everything*, or Harry cheats.
AN: Thanks to [info]auctasinistra, [info]joanwilder, and [info]perfica. The most amazing betas and the best people evah to have at one's back. Without them, I would be nothing, my fic might very well be gibberish, and "heel" would consistently be spelled h-e-a-l. And many thanks to [info]centaury_squill and [info]gingertart50 for Britpicking; they never got to go through the whole fic, so any errors in usage are entirely down to me.

*Paul Simon - Further to Fly






"Sadness of Eros by Loupgarou1750"



Don't forget to review!




Mod note: POLLS ARE NOW CLOSED. THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN THE SNARRY GAMES.


Mod note: If you rec this story, please link to this POST, not the story itself, or the author/team will not get their proper vote tally or feedback. Thank you.




Mod note: Due to the length of this story, we will not be posting another until tomorrow morning. Thank you!

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[info]torino10154
2008-05-28 06:34 pm UTC (link)
When you say angst and infidelity, you ain't just whistling Dixie. Gosh, where to begin. Harry was positively reckless, addicted in a way. When Severus was so charming to Ginny when they were at his house, oh, I feared the worst-either that he would tell her or that he would seduce her. I loved your portrayals of the children-very close to how I imagine them. Then all the little things like Ron punching Harry, Neville 'outing' Harry to himself as it were. I absolutely adored when Snape really sent Harry away though, because he needed to do that for both their sakes. This fic was rather like a car crash or a train wreck-you know it's all going to blow up but you can't tear your eyes away. I am happy however that Harry managed to pull himself together and oddly was really moved by Snape's reaction when he came back-as if Harry was the prodigal son. Amazing story, beautifully told.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-29 05:13 am UTC

[info]mac_tunes
2008-05-28 06:45 pm UTC (link)
I can't believe it! This story hits so close to ... nvm the blank. I just felt so attuned to how they are feeling here. About almost all the characters. The infidelity. The reckoning. Harsh reality. A bucket full of emotion - not all of them nice. The torture of mind and body. The anguish. The numbness. Most of all, the hurt feelings that I connected to. Oh lords~ The song "Killing me softly with his words" came to my mind. *sobs* thank you for such a anguish-y story!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-29 05:15 am UTC

[info]plantinshadows
2008-05-28 08:21 pm UTC (link)
oh dear, usually I'm always 'oh, poor harry!' but here it's more poor all! I loved that your story had a certain realness to it... because it happens just like that in reality: gay men having wife and children, cheating, never saying anything until they are found out.. I think that's one of the aspects that make it hard to read. another aspect is that usually fan fiction readers are quite allright with infidelity if the boys are not cheating on each other with other men, harry cheating on ginny is easier to read because we feel our dream pairing true love couple is not threatened. the cheating on ginny is often mentioned very little or glossed over. here you give a very complex portray on how and what it's like to be the cheating man, the consequences and how it all affects previous relationships, friendships etc. I think you did a wonderful job with this story, well done!!!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-29 05:53 am UTC

[info]whitestar
2008-05-28 10:56 pm UTC (link)
Oh wow, that was simply amazing! There was so much going on this story that I enjoyed, that I can't pinpoint just one thing that I loved the best. Maybe it's the happy ending, only it's sad it took Harry so long to grow up and realize what he truly wanted. He hurt so many people along the way.

Great job! ^_^

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-29 05:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]whitestar, 2008-05-29 06:07 am UTC
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2008-05-30 12:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-30 12:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]whitestar, 2008-05-29 06:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-30 12:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]whitestar, 2008-05-30 12:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-30 01:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]whitestar, 2008-05-30 03:40 am UTC

[info]dreamingjewel
2008-05-28 11:53 pm UTC (link)
Absolutely brilliant story! The infidelity issue is handled in a wonderfully mature fashion. Your Harry is a glorious mess which fits right in with canon. Both Snape and Ginerva come across 3-dimensional in addition Neville is perfection. Awesome piece.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-29 05:58 am UTC

[info]amenaneri
2008-05-28 11:53 pm UTC (link)
This story was Angst, Infidelity and Reckoning on overdrive! So much of all of them. Very complex portrayals of the situation. I actually found Harry by far the least sympathetic character which is a rarity, and was a very interesting thing, given it was all from his perspective--it's strange not to respect, and to get frustrated by, the narrator in a story and I thought it was really great writing.

I actually really liked the way you portrayed Snape and Ginny, especially when they finally stood up to Harry and didn't let him walk all over them any more. Drawing the line and standing firm, no matter how much they loved him. And he did have a good relationship with Ginny that he was throwing away for his desires--I liked their interactions at the beginning a lot--a comfortable, fun, funny relationship--a lot to give up, and not an easy or sensible choice. But then it didn't seem like he really did have a choice if he were to be true to himself. And I loved that Snape wouldn't let him come until he really had confronted what his true self was.

Really great job, and a blazingly clear-eyed, non-romantic portrayal of a gay man in a straight marriage and what comes from that. You didn't gloss over anything, and it was difficult and rewarding.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-30 12:57 am UTC

[info]ivylady
2008-05-29 12:29 am UTC (link)
Wow. This story was incredible. You made everyone so real, and you so perfectly captured the situation in which Harry, Ginny, and Severus found themselves.

Harry is marvelous as the tortured hero in this story. He's trapped by his impulses--marrying Ginny and having kids, picking up with strange men in pubs, loving Snape--that he makes it so hard for him and everyone around him.

I felt so bad for Ginny--you made her believable and much more dimensional than the best friend's little sister who marries her hero.

Snape was so mellow and I adored him. He's matured and relaxed, yet surprisingly still sacrificing. Him finally turning out Harry for his own sake and sanity was heartwrenching, but well done.

The kids were also well characterized, especially James. He really seemed to be turning into the same monster that he called the Slytherins. Albus Severus, of course, is my favorite. :)

The ending made me smile. After all the heartache, there is some happiness.

Bravo, fellow dragon!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-30 02:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ivylady, 2008-05-30 04:00 pm UTC

[info]schemingreader
2008-05-29 01:16 am UTC (link)
Wow. This was so painful, I just squirmed through it, but I also could not stop reading. Your Snape characterization--his ambivalence is so perfect. I don't know if I believe that the Harry in canon would be this awful, but--I believe in this behavior as real human behavior, and I stayed fascinated by it throughout.

I almost thought at the end "Oh, no, he waited so long to grow up that Snape is with Neville and that's why he looks so much happier." Heh!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-30 02:50 am UTC

[info]accioslash
2008-05-29 01:18 am UTC (link)
*This* is the post-epilogue fic I have been waiting for. It was raw, candid, and didn't pull a single punch. I loved your frank appraisal of Harry and was delighted to see him held accountable for his actions. I like that you showed he could be selfish and cowardly and greedy. And that even when he didn't intend for anyone to be hurt by his actions, the truth was that everyone he loved - family, friends, lovers - couldn't help be anything but hurt by his infidelity. That's not to say I couldn't feel for Harry. On the contrary, this man is someone I could understand only too well. This grown Harry is so much more interesting and realistic than the frequently two-dimensional Harry of canon and his actions a natural progression of the life he led. The evolution of his sexuality and dissatisfaction with his life was clearly shown and the consequences for his behavior seemed both natural and logical. I literally couldn't stop reading.

Snape, too, was a revelation. Even with the focus of the story on Harry, I found myself frequently the most affected by the lines you gave to Snape.

"Because you might have needed me."

Snape whirled, his face showing the strain of both anger and resignation. "I'm tired of longing for people who are unavailable. My heart is tired. It's a dynamic as old as I am and I'm sick to death of it." In a word, "ouch". Taken out of context like this, I can imagine someone thinking these lines to be almost OoC for him. They couldn't be more mistaken. It was a lovely story. Very real, very gritty, and oh, so perfect.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-30 02:55 am UTC

[info]telwyrd
2008-05-29 01:28 am UTC (link)
::headdesk:: ::headdesk:: ::headdesk:: ::headdesk:: ::headdesk:: ::headdesk::

Harsh. Raw. Ugly. This was infidelity at its finest. I spent the whole time as I was reading it wanting to scream in frustration. Harry was…an utter wanker, figuratively and literally. A dunderhead, moron, idiot! For a while there, I feared he would crash and burn. I was relieved at the end he finally saw the light and managed to recover the broken pieces of his life…and that Snape was there to take him back.

Harry’s constant use of “I love you” was particularly nauseating. He seemed to think that saying it would make everything all right, that it somehow excused all his lying, denials, and unfaithfulness. And every time it seemed as if he realized the harm he was doing and tried to ‘do the right thing’, it just started the whole messy cycle over again.

::sighs::

The angst was in high gear and it was very grueling to read. I felt sorry for everyone, including Harry.

At the end, the fallout over Harry’s actions was still playing out, particularly with his eldest son, James, who, I felt, will probably need a good talking to none too soon – if he doesn’t end up doing something terrible and land in Azkaban first.

One of my favorite parts of the story was when the Potter family visited Snape:

It was a topic everyone could participate in, even Lily when she finally stumbled into the kitchen, wiping sleep from her eyes. A little stunned, Harry looked from Ginny to Snape and back again, shaking his head in disbelief. For the first time, he caught a glimpse of why Snape had survived so long as a spy. Any Slytherin who could get past James' instinctive hatred, while at the same time not excluding anyone else, was a diplomatic force to be reckoned with. Harry felt unbelievably content.

I loved how you illustrated Snape’s cleverness and wit. He was so clear-sighted throughout the story.

This was an outstanding tale, brilliantly written. Bravo!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-30 03:00 am UTC

[info]keyairreem
2008-05-29 01:53 am UTC (link)
Wow. just wow!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-05-30 03:01 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2008-05-29 04:45 am UTC (link)
Stunning. Absolutely stunning.
Read it in one go. Amazingly realistic. Adult. Serious.
Really, I'm blown away now...
How does one go and write such a story?
I guess, pretty much anybody can sympathise with Harry at least a bit.

Wow. Just - wow. Cool.
And harsh, and funny at times, and I so felt for Harry, even when a 40 year old man was reduced to - being much less than a man.

Also, I just have to bow down to Harry who managed to break himself and settle down. Couldn't have been easy. He's great.

Thanks!

~ Charlotte Caphine

(Reply to this) (Thread)

PS - (Anonymous), 2008-05-29 05:02 am UTC
Re: PS - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-01 09:50 pm UTC

[info]alexis_sd
2008-05-29 06:23 am UTC (link)
It's probably wrong of me to comment halfway through the story, but I can't resist. I don't usually do this, normally I'd withhold my judgment or opinion until I've read the whole story, but I feel compelled to say this.

I love your Snape. I mean, Harry's great, his sexual discoveries and frustrations are very well, portrayed, and you deliver a complete and coherent character, but your Snape has my heart in his hands. I can't believe how well you both keep him in character and manage to make him so much partially yours and Harry's and this story's. (Does this make sense in the way I intended it?)

I think the other character I can't help but like is Neville. Oh, his silent support is great.

I am just afraid that this can't end happily. This Harry is still so immature in a lot of ways and his blind blundering through his desires that he doesn't even face fully and consciously can only end up ruining his life. It seems like a snowball going downhill, gathering momentum and size. I hope I am wrong, I hope you can make this a happy end, no matter the bitterness necessary to get there, but I am so afraid.

Maybe that's why I had to take this pause and write this comment.

And last but not least. I like the marriage you crated for Harry and Ginny - the love, the care, the small problems, that sometimes escalate to big ones, the children that don't understand their parents and the parents that try to understand the children, mostly unsuccessfully. I like how Ginny is so real, neither perfect, nor a hag, just a woman, a wife and a mother.

Now I think I'll go back to the story.

Oh, and the sex was great. Harry's oral fixation and his obsession with Snape's cock are so well written.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]alexis_sd, 2008-05-29 08:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-01 09:54 pm UTC

[info]perfica
2008-05-29 07:45 am UTC (link)
This story is a credit to perseverance. Not only that, it's skillfully told and kept me mesmerised even when I knew how it was going to end!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-01 09:56 pm UTC

[info]joanwilder
2008-05-29 08:18 am UTC (link)
You know how much I love this fic and why. When you were writing it, I remembered why I don't read WIP's, waiting for the g-d next installments. I know you were tempted to pull your hair out, but you've a great story to show for it, you should be proud.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-01 09:59 pm UTC

[info]emmessann
2008-05-29 02:12 pm UTC (link)
I enjoyed this so much! I really cheered with Snape when he finally sent Harry packing because he deserves more. It's part of canon-Snape's central tragedy, that he never did believe this, so to see him learn it in the story was just fantastic. I also adored the "Yetinis" and "Yellow Snow Vodka." Bwah!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-01 10:02 pm UTC

[info]snarry_fan7
2008-05-29 09:19 pm UTC (link)
So very realistic and angsty, yet some how hot too. I really like the different relationships throughout the story with all the different characters and how they react to everything, especially everything Harry does. Superb work!~Sophia

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-01 10:05 pm UTC

[info]zevzeki
2008-05-29 10:21 pm UTC (link)
wow. that was quite something. one of my faves in the games this time around. i loved this deeply flawed mature harry who was still the boy we knew in recognizable ways. in many fics harry is written in a strange ageless void where he'll reason like a mature adult when it's handy and be an innocent/enthusiastic/foolhardy like a young man when the author needs him to contradict snape. As much as I love Snape and like to have his character/life choices explored, I'm much more drawn to snarry fics that don't treat harry simply as a foil for snape. i loved your older harry here because you didn't just have him look older and know new plot points; you aged him in a most interesting way. when we left him at the end of his seventh year, he did have a set personality but experience magnifies or sands down different aspects of a young character and you illustrated this expertly. I loved how you worked with his devotion to a family ideal, his stubbornness/dedication, his impulsiveness, his selfish nature and his tendency to rely on feelings and instincts before reason. It was hard to see him make those mistakes but lovely to see him come out at the other end. moreover, i didn't feel that you overlooked snape. you allowed him all his contradictions; he was vicious yet loving, impervious yet dedicated. mostly i loved the way you worked through his tendency to give himself over to exploitative relationships, his starvation for love and attention. I was cheering when he sent Harry away.
for all these reasons, i was already absolutely sold on the story by the time i reached the end. so i wasn't really bothered by the slightly hasty ending but i think the jump from GET OUT in capital to Harry's quiet meal outside Snape's house was too abrupt emotionally for the reader. Also, the conversation that followed was a bit too clunky a device to cover the intervening years for me. Perhaps you had concerns about time or word count. I think i might have enjoyed a look at the kids, a scene with Ginny or seeing what happened at the time when Snape sent him away for a second time. Still, it was lovely to see them get back together and I'm glad Harry had that visit to the doctor :)
All in all, it was a truly amazing journey and I enjoyed it a lot (so much so that I stayed up till 5am to read it although granted it was aided by a vicious jet lag :) ) Thank you!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-01 10:18 pm UTC

[info]seres_mimosa
2008-05-30 08:14 am UTC (link)
This was fan-freakin-tastic! Your characterisation were perfect. Snape had changed post war, without the constant stress of war, but still had that edge and unpleasantness, and intensity. (I cringed when you described his bed, but oddly in the end he was just so lovable :) Harry is an incredible work of characterization, a complex, multidimensional believably flawed Hero. I really liked the honest, unflinching accounting of his motivations and rationalizations, and yet he remains sympathetic to the end. Thank you for not bashing Ginny, but giving a realistic and fair portrayal of a strong woman who has been horribly betrayed by her husband. Infact I really liked the dialogue bwtween Harry and Ginny. The whole thing is wonderfully written, witty, engaging with many stand out, LOL lines and dialogue. The sex was Hot. You've made glory holes are my new kink. And even though a part of me is sad you made me/them wait 5 years, the ending is *right* Full Marks. Thank you for an enormously pleasurable read.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-01 10:22 pm UTC

[info]ashenv
2008-05-30 10:33 am UTC (link)
Hmm, what a story and in an entirely good way! Infidelity fics have to be written well for me to really enjoy them, and this one in the end, was so much more than that for me. I read all the comments and while people call Harry's behavior awful etc, I didn't quite see it that way and while I don't know if you wanted to go for that I saw Harry here as utterly human if that makes sense; a perfect example of a human being - flawed, struggling, morally failing and then working his way back - utterly real in essence.

The story, unfortunately, reminds me of too many true stories where people either because of their youth, or insecurity or outside influences, or all of these and more, get caught in an unhappy life they do not truly want, where they are not who they should be and are simply incapable of getting out. I love how you brought Harry through this - he matured, and got to know himself and Snape was brilliant in this, just the perfect behavior to be the catalyst for it.

The pain and anguish of it all were very real, I loved reading it. The ending was also very true to life - I loved it how not everything is suddenly rosy but that there are consequences, and some really not that pretty at all. These situations are ugly, and bring pain but I was very pleased how Harry in the end got to be his true self, and though it left scars, I truly think it was worth it. It was good to see a completely mature Severus here, who will do the right thing for himself personally and send Harry away, even though it may be painful.

Anyway, thank you so much for a lovely story, I truly enjoyed it!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-01 10:27 pm UTC

[info]kinwad
2008-06-01 12:30 am UTC (link)
Obviously, everything that could be said about this fic has been said,but I can only add how very much I enjoyed it.

You wrote a post DH fic where the characterization was so glued to canon and where the "reality" was a definite possibility. Your fic presented real situations in a ficitonal and magical world, and showed how people, regardless whether they were wizards or muggles, dealt with such situations.

I enjoyed your Snape very much, knowing how much he did care for Harry, yet having the strength to realize that a relationship wouldn't work until Harry really grew up, regardless of the fact that he was married and had kids.

Severus has always been the one, for me anyway, that the series ultimately revolved around even though it was always "HP &..."

Marvelous fic! You should be very proud!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-01 10:28 pm UTC

[info]simons_flower
2008-06-01 07:46 am UTC (link)
I'd say you definitely nailed the angst and infidelity. Dayum. Quite an amazing character study of Harry for all that, though, and, to a lesser extent, Snape.

Amazing job!

Go dragons!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-05 05:05 am UTC

[info]igtow
2008-06-01 08:48 am UTC (link)
This was very hard for me to read, mostly because of the infidelity prompt augmented by an angst (Ouch) and certainly not because of your writing, which was very well done. It hurt and what else was Snape to do? I'll repeat: Ouch. Yet the hope at the end and the reckoning eased the pain a bit.

I', so glad we're on the same team. Roooaaarrr!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-05 05:07 am UTC

[info]aislinnsdair
2008-06-01 08:53 am UTC (link)
I'm torn with this one. I think you crafted an exquisitely angsty tale, and did a wonderful job of showing the complexities of the infidelity, the reasons why it would come about and the pain it would cause all involved. This Harry deserved to be thrown out by both his lovers - all of the things they accuse him of are true. This character needed to be brought to the low point he was in order to move past his immaturity and reconcile who he really was, before he deserved to have a relationship with either Ginny or Snape. I liked that Snape didn't just take him in when he made his choice, but insisted that Harry work through his issues first.

I thought your characterizations of most everyone in the story were great, from a sympathetic portrayal of Ginny, a nice balance of snark and vulnerability in Snape, a lovely Neville, canon Hermione and Ron, to nicely developed personalities for the kids. For me, the notable exception was Harry, and that is what I'm torn about. Yes, he's incredibly reckless in canon, and doesn't always think through his actions. His recklessness, however, was almost always in the cause of doing what he thought was the right thing at the time(and not just right for him), so it's hard for me to accept a Harry as selfish and self-involved as the one depicted in this story. Aside from that OOC nature, however, I do think the story was a gritty, realistic exploration of the struggle of someone accepting their sexuality and the painful consequences of infidelity, skillfully written.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-05 05:16 am UTC

[info]centaury_squill
2008-06-01 10:41 am UTC (link)
Aha, at last I've read the rest of your fic! Very realistic depiction of infidelity, with a self-deluding Harry who wants to have his cake and eat it, and a conniving Snape who finally forces him to face reality and grow up. Marvellous story!
And I'd love a bottle of snow vodka *G*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]loupgarou1750, 2008-06-05 05:18 am UTC

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