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snarrymod ([info]snarrymod) wrote in [info]snarry_games,
@ 2008-04-27 10:37:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:amand_r, entry, team dragon

TEAM DRAGON ENTRY: Amand_r "The (Un)Professional"
Title: The (Un)Professional
Author: [info]amand_r
Team: Dragon
Genres: Postwar, Humor/Crackfic
Prompt: Anniversary
Ratings/Warnings/Kinks: Rated NC-17. *Contains graphic violence. Oh, and some canonically dead people are not so very much dead. Is that a warning?*
Word Count: 42,363
Summary: "Sir, it's out of my hands. The gods want you to go to your Hogwarts reunion, and they want you to delete someone while you're there."
A/N: This is a "frusion" of Harry Potter and the film Grosse Pointe Blank. One need not have seen the film to read the story, but if you have, you will note key similarities and some cribbed dialogue. And one Shawn of the Dead reference (possibly my favorite bit), along with a modified Monty Python line. Credits at the end of the film story. Also (Also?! Geez!), this is AU for pretty much obvious reasons.
Credits: Thanks to [info]jadzialoveand [info]joanwilder for the spectacular betas. Late at night. In teh dark. With your mom.








"The (Un)Professional by Amand_r"



Don't forget to review!




Mod note: POLLS ARE NOW CLOSED. THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN THE SNARRY GAMES.



Mod note: If you rec this story, please link to this POST, not the story itself, or the author/team will not get their proper vote tally or feedback. Thank you.





Mod note: Due to the length of this story, we will not be posting another until tomorrow morning. Thank you.

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[info]torino10154
2008-04-28 09:26 pm UTC (link)
Surely that I've never seen the film(s) in question meant that I didn't quite get everything but nevertheless I enjoyed it. I totally did not see Confidential's identity coming at all-I loved Snape putting a hit out on himself. Angelina and the twins-yum! Ron and the sofa *snicker*. There were lots of twists and lines that made me laugh out loud. Great work-and I'm sure I'll re-read just as soon as I rent Grosse Pointe Blank. ;)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-04-28 09:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]torino10154, 2008-06-07 03:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-06-07 03:57 am UTC

[info]cluegirl
2008-04-28 10:15 pm UTC (link)
Laughing at a Snarry is always a good sign! Well done!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-04-29 03:02 am UTC

[info]maraudersaffair
2008-04-28 11:10 pm UTC (link)
This was amazing, and witty, and just amazing. Took me two days to read it but I'm not disappointed!

:D

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-04-29 03:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]maraudersaffair, 2008-04-29 03:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-04-29 03:14 am UTC

[info]oni_butterfly
2008-04-29 01:32 am UTC (link)
I am glad that those Swedish fish had to die, so that this wonderful story could live. Their sacrifice has been honored magnificently.

SQUEE! Loved. Loved. Loved!!

I can't really drag out my favorite part, because it seems somewhat inane to copy back your entire fic to you.

Just an amazing story and I hope you never stop writing. Ever.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-04-29 03:08 am UTC

[info]ziasudra
2008-04-29 02:50 am UTC (link)
I must confess, a lot of the references flew way past over my head, as confirmed by reading through all the comments of what people *did* catch. What I could understand though was cool, and I'm glad the Confidential didn't turn out to be Snape, as I had originally thought!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-04-29 03:06 am UTC

[info]lalaith_niniel
2008-04-29 07:19 am UTC (link)
I haven't seen Grosse Pointe Blank in ages, so I missed a bunch of the similarities, but you definitely nailed the tone of the movie in this.

I was in stitches throughout the reading of this and thoroughly enjoyed it. I loved the pragmatism of Harry, the skills Snape has with the English language and his ability to cut everyone down to size, the whole conspiracy to get Harry to return.

This was so fantastic, right down to to the end notes.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-04-29 03:12 pm UTC

[info]tarteaucitron
2008-04-29 11:40 am UTC (link)
this is a brilliant adaptation. it took me a while to banish john cusack and focus on harry, which is a tribute to how well you captured the spirit of gpb. witty, inventive, beautifully fluid - you write like a superstar. :D

oh - a quick shoutout to this passage which is the most leg-crossingly sexy fic entrance ever:

Snape leaned against one of the courtyard pillars, arms crossed, long robes draping over his frame. His feet were crossed at the ankles. Sunlight poured in over his shoulder, gleaming off his pulled back hair, cutting the edge of his jaw as he tilted his head to it, as if he had simply been standing there and waiting for the exact moment the sun would hit his face, illuminate it just so. The background of the courtyard was a lawn of grass, so that to a painter's eye he was haloed in green.

god!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-04-29 03:14 pm UTC

[info]keyairreem
2008-04-30 03:06 am UTC (link)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVED IT!!!!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-04-30 03:08 am UTC

[info]themostepotente
2008-05-01 12:11 am UTC (link)
This fic is made of so much win, Amand. I love Grosse Pointe Blank being from Michigan and all, so I was utterly tickled by your 'frusion.' *G*

I must confess to being a bit selfish where your writing's concerned, because you don't write nearly enough to sate my appetite. *G*

A FABULOUS read, dear :-)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-01 01:06 am UTC

[info]calico_sky
2008-05-01 05:51 am UTC (link)
Heeee! This was so much fun to read! You did a really good job melding the movie into your story . . . it was amusing to see which character was playing which part. A jolly romp! ;)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-01 03:56 pm UTC

[info]valis2
2008-05-01 09:02 pm UTC (link)
This is such an awesome crossover. So clever, fascinating, and such a joy to read--I loved every minute of it. I adore GPB, so this really piqued my curiosity, and wow--it left me thrilled and happy and warm. A totally great fic, very well-done, with all of the nuances so carefully thought out...I enjoyed this tremendously. Absolutely terrific!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-02 01:39 am UTC

[info]gin_tonic
2008-05-01 10:16 pm UTC (link)
Snape is so incredibly sneaky! To anonymously hire Harry to kill him just to get him back... complicated, weird and totally Snape-logic. XD

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-02 01:38 am UTC

[info]ivylady
2008-05-02 04:09 am UTC (link)
I've never seen Grosse Pointe Blank, but this story makes me want to see it.

Fabulous work! Seriously. I love how Snape pines after Harry for eight years to the point that he takes out a hit on his own life that we think he might be capable of doing but aren't sure of until the last bit of the story. For a while, I thought Snape might be Confidential. Then again, Snape is a master manipulator, so he kept us guessing.

Harry as an Assassin is not a stretch for me, seeing that he wants to be an Auror. He's just so funny and paranoid and crafty--an equal for Snape in all ways.

Angelina was a surprise. I enjoyed her as the wise cracking, arms dealing, video game playing secretary.

Excellent all around.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-02 03:43 pm UTC

[info]hpstrangelove
2008-05-02 12:12 pm UTC (link)
Thank God you're on my team; this is one of the best fics I've read so far. I have not seen the movie, but it's on my Amazon wishlist now.

The only problem with my being in the games is that I can't vote, because I'd give this all tens!

I don't suppose you're from Texas? I'm impressed at the firearms knowledge; all Texans know their guns. I loved everything about this fic. It's destined to be one of those classics that get rec'd for years.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-02 03:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hpstrangelove, 2008-05-19 12:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-19 03:03 pm UTC

[info]maelwaedd
2008-05-03 12:56 am UTC (link)
I've never even heard of the movie, but I really enjoyed this fic. And Harry touching Snape's glock. *glee* Lovely work.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-03 03:15 pm UTC

[info]igtow
2008-05-04 01:08 am UTC (link)
I've never seen the movie, but I did enjoy this anyway. You may have called our attention to one MP moment, but the whole thing captured what makes our flying circus friends so funny in the first place, and that was truly the enjoyable part. Snape taking a contract out on himself was perfect, and I never guessed who 'Confidential' was.

I am sooo glad we're on the same team! Rooooaaaarrrr!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-04 02:52 am UTC

[info]aliciamasters
2008-05-04 03:11 pm UTC (link)
This was a brilliant pastiche of most excellent source material. Your interpretation was sublime! The biggest challenge is to make it fresh, and you succeeded beyond my wildest expectations.

Harry in here was still recognizably Harry, but you turned him into an assassin, and made me believe it; I could see how he turned mercenary, to get a little control over his life.

Snape...what is there to say? Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. I loved him all the way through. Bitter, vicious, and manipulative; through it all, faithful. He was perfect.

Add in the wonderful spin on Grosse Pointe Blank, Trogdor, Monty Python references, and the twist with the Chamber of Secrets & Dolores Umbridge, and I am sure to read this over and over and over again.

Thanks for a story that made me smile, laugh, gasp and cheer.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-04 09:20 pm UTC
This is the BEST idea
[info]amenaneri
2008-05-05 08:52 pm UTC (link)
You are AWESOME!! Grosse Pointe Blank is one of my very favorite movies (John Cusack could read a phone book and I'd be fascinated)--such awesome neurotic ramblings and worryings, and quick, sly, hilarious dialogue, great banter with Minnie Driver, and a highly satisfying ending. All of you who have never seen it, queue it at the top of your Netflix, get thee to a video store, order it online--it is a wonderful classic. Not to mention it has a great soundtrack--Blister on the Sun is the BEST.

You have made a marvelous transition/adaptation to the world of HP. I love that Harry has decided to become an assassin, and does it very well and almost automatically, but then there's that heart of Harry that Snape knows is still there and manipulates out of hiding by the end. And the banality of the reunion, and the wondrously sexy Severus, dropping those hints all over the place that Harry is usually too gobsmacked to pick up on. The offstage shagging in the infirmary (did people who hadn't seen the movie really get the reference?) was great, although me the pron fan would have liked to be a fly on the wall...

Angelina was great--I loved that magic trashed their computer systems, and the scene when she was taking down the office while bantering with Harry on the phone was great. Also loved that she got to shag the Weasley twins and was in cahoots with Severus all along.

I was hoping for more neurotic sessions with Phineus, and loved that he was also in on Severus's plans. What a manipulative headmaster indeed--who didn't he get in on the plan? Ron and Hermione, check, Angelina, check, spying portrait, check, Harry himself, check. And actually, I suppose he had Confidential in on the plan, too, if she had a contract out on him. And his dialogue was totally hilarious.

Clever, hilarious story--great job!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: This is the BEST idea - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-06 10:28 am UTC

[info]athenakt
2008-05-06 05:57 am UTC (link)
*stares*

*stares some more*

Awesome! You took GPB and ran with it like a champ with nice touches from the aforementioned sources. I really loved this crackfic; in places it had fantastic insight into Harry's "motivations" that I might wish to see from a novelization of GPB. And your humorous touches that weren't so much crack as they were ironic and amusing. Ron's "I love your brain" did make me think of RW/Hermione's Brain fic. Heh.

I look at you dully as I say all of this, by the way. ;)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-06 10:32 am UTC

[info]seres_mimosa
2008-05-06 07:18 am UTC (link)
Ohh, this is absolutely brilliant! I would never have thought it possible to frusion HP and Grosse Point Blanc. Hell how do you mix wands and firearms? Harry as an assassin? Snape as the stood-up girlfriend. But by the end it made a wonderful sort of sense, it fit and I was completely charmed. Your dialogue was witty and LOL funny, and I loved your characterizations. So entertaining, I enjoyed this so much!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-06 10:31 am UTC

[info]akuma_river
2008-05-06 03:43 pm UTC (link)
This is by far my absolute favorite story of the Games.

I loved the movie and I loved this story more than the movie.

It was absolutely brilliant.

I didn't even care that there was no porn.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-06 08:04 pm UTC

[info]syrosis
2008-05-07 12:04 pm UTC (link)
This was a lovely story! I very much enjoyed reading every word of it and so loved the references! :D

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-07 08:04 pm UTC

[info]aeryun
2008-05-07 10:26 pm UTC (link)
OMG, that was hilarious! Unfortunantly for me the only movie thing I got was the Iocane Powder. :( My husband would be ashamed.

I have to wonder if Harry's paranoid inner ramblings was anything like what Snape as a Spy's were?

Loved it!
Aery

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-08 10:09 am UTC

[info]klynie1
2008-05-08 08:36 pm UTC (link)
Brilliant. God, you write excellent fight scenes.

Yeah, I'm another of the ignorant masses who's never seen Grosse Pointe Blank, but I've got the soundtrack. *g* Sorry it's taken me so long to work through this story - I started reading it in bits and pieces and realized pretty quickly that I wanted to read it all in one go, so I had to wait until I had time enough to do that. I'm so glad that I did - this story is so much fun! Thanks for a lovely afternoon.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-08 09:57 pm UTC

[info]leela_cat
2008-05-11 06:44 pm UTC (link)
I only just read this story last night, but better to comment late than never, right?

It's been a long time since I saw GPB, but your story had the feel that I remember from the movie. I loved Angelina and Snape and all of the ways that everyone was double-crossing everyone else. And all of the weapons.

Nicely done.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]amand_r, 2008-05-11 07:58 pm UTC

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