... And I'm going to have to break my opening promise, because while I can't even count all the ways in which this fails, at the same time, I can't resist the impulse to try and do so anyway.
Michelle is just openly bi-polar and psychotic here, to a degree that a) makes it impossible for me to believe she ever developed the maturity to pass high school, much less pass the bar exam, and b) actually makes me think that Peter would be less stupid and spineless if he moved back in with Aunt May, yet again, rather than putting up with this unconscionable abuse.
Norah is likewise so totally immature that she's willing to engage in a similarly high school-level cat-fight with Michelle over Peter, even after calling him a "coward" and a "man-child" to his face, which makes her self-esteem look almost as low as Michelle's does, when even after she calls him a "pig," she still shows interest in pursuing a relationship with him (bonus points for having Michelle use misspelled Spanish slang while she's spitting mad, just in case we had somehow previously missed the fact that she's a HOT-TEMPERED LATINA, AMIRITE???).
And after all the comic misunderstanding scenes that she's walked into, over the course of her relationship with Peter, Mary Jane looks like a complete ditz for not figuring out that something similar is going down here, and that Peter desperately needs rescuing from these two other crazy women, although given what a loser he's portrayed as here, I suppose I have to give her points for being at least marginally self-respecting enough to walk away from this whole pointless, idiotic drama.
And as for Peter himself, he's behaving exactly as he has throughout the current status quo - slow-witted to the point of actually being witless, passive to the point of being a non-entity, and so utterly surface-level that he can still say that he "likes" a woman who's subjected him to a continual torrent of abuse, since even after the Chameleon did "a horrible, evil, reprehensible thing" to her in Amazing Spider-Man #603, all he can think about is that she's "still hot" when she punches him for trying to tell her the truth in Amazing Spider-Man #605.
This is MISOGYNIST characterization, full stop. I literally cannot even conceive of how anyone can find this an amusing or accurate portrayal of women, unless they harbor some deep-seated, unacknowledged animosity toward women. If stories like this were all I knew of women, it would make me wish that I was gay, except that Peter, as a supposed representative of the "everyman," would probably make me swear off men even if I was gay.
This scene makes me hate every character who appears in it, and automatically, drastically lowers my opinion of anyone who can possibly find any of these characters, as they're portrayed here, to be either likable or relatable in any way. At least the equally blindly reactive and absolutely self-absorbed characters that populated Seinfeld had the decency to be ENTERTAINING.
ETA: Even NuSpidey supporter punishermax was able to point out additional fail in this scene, that I'm ashamed not to have noticed first myself:
"Guys, I love Spider-Man to death but that rice and beans joke was fucking out of nowhere racist."