InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Stetsons are cool!"

leikomgwtfbbq (leikomgwtfbbq) wrote in scans_daily,
@ 2009-06-13 21:08:00

Current mood:

silly

Okay, so I'm a huge fan of El Dragon. I don't care that he only appeared in the Cracktionary. He's awesome. It's my personal canon that there is an Earth-Education out there, and El Dragon is its greatest hero.

El Dragon is hospitable. He will make tea for his guests, no matter how rudely they break into his strange apartment. Because it is the polite and hospitable thing to do. El Dragon is a good host.

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However, El Dragon is also a man, and needs to sleep. He needs to pass out for several hours to rest his weary old bones. The meth junkies down the hall have not been to sleep for days and will not stop blasting Lynyrd Skynyrd. El Dragon is going to have a word with them.

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El Dragon to the rescue! He will teach that fly a lesson. Because El Dragon is Earth-Education's greatest hero. (FYI, he's got technopathic powers. I am not sure how this will help him fight the giant fly. Perhaps it is a robot fly.)

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However, El Dragon is no dumb lug! He likes to read, and that is why he knows all of these neat words, and why he wants to share them with you, the reader.

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El Dragon, however, had more trouble than he suspected in fixing your car. It is different than it was in one of the hundred books he just read. And it seems as though your car has become a smoking pile of ash on the ground after his fiddlings. For that he is very sorry. But...

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El Dragon has no time for your bellyaching! When he says march, you march, friend! After all...

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...we must hurry if we want to partake in walrus baseball!

(Post a new comment)

	ashez2ashes 2009-06-13 08:32 pm UTC (link)
	It is my greatest wish (and pipe dream) to someday obtain the supercracktionary. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	leikomgwtfbbq 2009-06-13 08:38 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, same here. D: So far, though, I've got a pretty good collection going. I make sure to save every bit that someone posts on the intarnetz. XD (Reply to this) (Parent)

	uadlika 2009-06-13 08:46 pm UTC (link)
	It was quite possibly the happiest day of my life when I got my very own cracktionary. It's even better in book form than scanned. My advice is to stalk e-bay, they come up for cheap every so often! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	icon_uk 2009-06-14 03:33 am UTC (link)
	When I found it going for £1.50 in a local charity shop many years ago, I had no idea just what glorious crack awaited me... Oh happy day! :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	leikomgwtfbbq 2009-06-14 04:45 am UTC (link)
	seethes with envy! All my local thrift stores, yard sales, and flea markets ever have are coverless westerns from the 1950s. >:( They never have anything cool. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	parsimonia 2009-06-13 08:38 pm UTC (link)
	Earth-Education? I think I might die of happiness if that were canon. (Reply to this) (Thread)

leikomgwtfbbq
2009-06-13 08:41 pm UTC (link)

In my mind, Earth-Education not only contains the Cracktionary, but also that weird healthy superheroes' cookbook thing that someone posted awhile back, the Bat-math book, any number of goofy PSAs and Very Special Issues, and these Spanish books that I saw at Barnes and Noble's, in which Superman and Batman try to teach you Spanish.

Also, like I said, El Dragon is its greatest hero. :D He has to be! HAS TO BE, I SAY!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	parsimonia 2009-06-13 08:42 pm UTC (link)
	YES, YES AND YES. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	besamim 2009-06-13 09:01 pm UTC (link)
	And its Marvel counterpart is Earth-12345, which includes the continuities of Spidey Super Stories, How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way, all the "very special" storylines about drugs and child abuse, and the upcoming(?) United Nations public-relations comic featuring Spider-Man. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	icon_uk 2009-06-14 03:34 am UTC (link)
	It could be marvellous, but I imagine the insanely stilted speech patterns everyone has would drive me to become a supervillain inside a fortnight. It would cause me to want to do evil things before two weeks had passed. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	besamim 2009-06-13 08:43 pm UTC (link)
	El Dragón walked down the hall. And he came to a door. He came to a portal. And he looked inside. He looked within. "Father? Paternal parent?" "Yes, son?" "I want to kill you. I want to end your life." "Mother? Maternal parent? I want to..." (Reply to this) (Thread)

	thandrak 2009-06-13 09:08 pm UTC (link)
	snrrrk oh god that's horrible. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	leikomgwtfbbq 2009-06-13 09:12 pm UTC (link)
	Win! Quick, El Dragon vs The Lizard King. WHO WINS? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	besamim 2009-06-13 09:18 pm UTC (link)
	Depends how sober the Lizard King is at the time. If it's post-1968 Lizard King, El Dragón would win easily. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	leikomgwtfbbq 2009-06-13 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	I think that Jim would probably wind up going, "Man, y'know, you should write this shit down. It's deep. And shit. You know." Then he'd go get drunk. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	taggerung301 2009-06-13 09:03 pm UTC (link)
	I'm pretty sure Blackest Night is going to end with El Dragon single-handedly stopping the black lanterns - that's my educated guess anyway (Reply to this) (Thread)

	leikomgwtfbbq 2009-06-13 09:12 pm UTC (link)
	I think our universe would implode from the pure amount of concentrated awesome. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	darklorelei 2009-06-13 09:49 pm UTC (link)
	Good lord. What on EARTH is the original context for the walrus baseball?! I need to know! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	leikomgwtfbbq 2009-06-13 10:27 pm UTC (link)
	I wish I knew. Because I haven't even read it, but it's very likely the awesomest issue of a comic ever in the history of print. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	icon_uk 2009-06-14 03:36 am UTC (link)
	I think it's exactly what it looks like, Aquaman organising a game to amuse some kids. It's like water polo being played with the aquatic equivalent of polo ponies. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	vignettelante 2009-06-13 10:37 pm UTC (link)
	You know the only reason I know El Dragon? This image. Yes, CLEARLY El Dragon is the guy to use for that word. NO OTHER CHOICE LEAPS TO MIND (in a single bound). In some ways, THAT is the crackiest thing in the book to me. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	leikomgwtfbbq 2009-06-14 12:45 am UTC (link)
	See? He really IS Earth-Education's greatest hero! He's super-er than even Superman in their eyes. Lookit all the people cheering him! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	kingrockwell 2009-06-13 11:22 pm UTC (link)
	El Dragon is fantastic. He's full of bounce and ready to go, stopping elevators with his mind and everything. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	leikomgwtfbbq 2009-06-14 12:44 am UTC (link)
	Something that just came to mind: Does he ever use his technopathic powers in the Cracktionary, or was that just something on a back cover somewhere? None of the bits I have show him using them, ever... I wonder. XD (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kingrockwell
2009-06-14 09:30 am UTC (link)

On Monday, El Dragon stopped an elevator with his mind. On the second day of the week, he stopped the elevator.
Illustration basically has him, arms crossed, pulling a cold-as-hell staredown (with the slightest of smiles) on the elevator. Frightened, the elevator stops in its tracks.

By the time I'd reached this one I'd completely forgotten about his powers. My favorite thing about him is he seems to mostly use his powers for mundane things over fighting super-villains. Sure, he'll save people to keep them alive, and fight giant dragonflies to preserve the people's hope, and fighting criminal when he realizes how bad they are, but otherwise he seems to have a bigger preoccupation with cars, and fixing their motors, as well as dragons (of course), and collecting books about them.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

leikomgwtfbbq
2009-06-14 02:29 pm UTC (link)

I'd totally chill with El Dragon, though. I think the only heroes I'd want to chill with more would be John Constantine and Oracle.

But to be honest, I'd probably go the same way and use my powers to change the channel without having to look for the damn remote or turn off the lights without having to get up and flip the switch. There's only so many villains with computers and electricity and stuff as gimmicks, y'know?

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	psychop_rex 2009-06-16 02:45 am UTC (link)
	Question - has anyone here considered cosplaying as El Dragon at Comic Con? (I ask this because I WAS going to be going to Comic Con, and now it looks like I'm not, and this makes me sad - so I'm somewhat obsessed with the subject at the moment.) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	leikomgwtfbbq 2009-06-16 03:02 pm UTC (link)
	Dude, that's a great idea. :D I should write that down as my next cosplay, after "girly!Deadpool." ... Yeah. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	psychop_rex 2009-06-16 03:46 pm UTC (link)
	Well, if you DO do it, take pictures. I expect photographic proof! 'Girly Deadpool', eh? What would that be - Lady 'Pool? 'Pool Girl? Deadpoolette? Deadpoolrella? Deadpoolina? 'Pool X (for the chromosome)? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	leikomgwtfbbq 2009-06-16 07:23 pm UTC (link)
	scratches head I like "Deadpoolerella," personally, but it's kind of a mouthful, isn't it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	psychop_rex 2009-06-16 08:03 pm UTC (link)
	So take off the 'Dead'. 'Poolerella. People will know what you mean - you will, after all, be wearing the costume. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	leikomgwtfbbq 2009-06-17 12:15 am UTC (link)
	Oh, that's a good idea, thanks! :D (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	psychop_rex 2009-06-17 01:09 am UTC (link)
	No problem. I am a neverending source of silly names. (Reply to this) (Parent)