I have no trouble with this instance being different because I think it is. Stephanie is, imo, being written here as somebody who isn't a good fit for the job tempermentally in ways that Tim, Dick and JasonI aren't written in stories where they disobey an order.
Yes, This. Absolutely. Yes. And all the rest.
So crazy. And one side effect of this is that I've noticed that some fans start to think that it's a character flaw on Steph's part, or maybe due to her background, or social class. Or because she's female, or was older when she took the job. They look for reasons; the reason is because she was written that way. So she could be set up.
But my problem is Batman seems to already know perfectly well why she's not right for the job and is just using her and the role of Robin for some weird mindgame of his own with Tim. Which imo seems to be the way Steph so often gets treated by Bruce.
I know. And I kind of think it makes Steph fans mad and Bruce fans mad. And the Steph and Bruce fans mad. It's disrespectful to both characters, and, as you say, to the idea and character of every Robin.
(another reason I hated the retcon of Barbara's story to try to replay it)
If you have the time, could you elaborate? I'm not sure what you're referring to. (If it's Barbara and Spoiler story, it'll be because I haven't read it anyway, or do you mean the retcon of Barbara herself, which I certainly hate.)