InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'm totally crushing!"

Damian is son & (heir) wrote in repose,
@ 2018-01-21 05:33:00

Entry tags:

*forum, *text, abe winters, beau williams, cat dubrovna, damian wainright, daniel webster, dietre abendroth, misha bellamy, nilus doe, ra's algol, sadie marella, sasha james

Dietre A+Nilus, Daniel W, Carnival, Naila a-K, Cat C, FLEET: Misha B
[Locked to Dietre A+Nilus]
The lawyers have told me you ought be out by the middle of next month.

[Locked to Daniel W]
Hello.

[Carnival lock: Abe W, Sasha J, Beau W, Dietre A, Misha B, Sadie M]
Greet Sadie. She is now your coworker.

[Locked to Naila a-K]
[In Arabic.] Greetings.

[Locked to Cat C]
I failed.

[FLEET: Misha B]
[Sent to Misha is a fifteen second long video of Pennyworth, shot from overhead, as the kitten sleeps in Damian's hood—as he is wearing his hoodie.]

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-23 10:02 am UTC (link)
	`He was with friends. They always get worse when they're in groups. Dami, sweetheart, you don't need examples or nothing to go off. Just pretend I'm that kitten sleeping in your hoodie sometimes when I'm upset, and I promise it'll be just right. How's it confusing?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-23 10:15 am UTC (link)
	`Yes, people feel they have much to prove. Do you wish to tell me about it? Okay. I do not know how to explain it in such a way, that you will not decide for me that you are not to do it any longer.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-23 09:32 pm UTC (link)
	`There ain't much more to tell. I ran and blinked out soon as I rounded a corner. Do you believe me? Did I make you feel worse? Quit that and just explain. I want to understand you best as I can.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Fleet]
heir
2018-01-24 01:11 am UTC (link)

Where did you go? I believe you. I am fine. It is not what I am familiar with, so it confuses me. I wish to tear away and lick my wounds in private, as is the only honorable way to do so. It feels as if I am being coddled, because I am weak. But, it does help. I would not seek you out and hug you myself were that not the case. I simply am not accustomed to it, so it confuses me at times.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-24 01:30 am UTC (link)
	`The apartment. It wasn't real far. Okay. You'll say if you ain't, right? That's why you took off to the window that one time?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-24 02:19 am UTC (link)
	`I am sorry, Misha. I would that I was more a target than you. I will say. You need not worry. I am not so fragile. Yes, I suppose.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-24 03:06 am UTC (link)
	`You look real masculine, which means you ain't, but I like you how you are. I wouldn't want you different any. I reckon I'll think you're fragile some, if that's all the same to you. You can tell me if you want space some. I promised I wouldn't run off, and I keep promises. I won't take off if you tell me.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-24 04:18 am UTC (link)
	`You mean I pass as straight. It took you much to work up to tell me this thing you need. That level of fragility, I am not. All I desire is for you to understand it is not you.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-24 04:28 am UTC (link)
	`I reckon. That ain't a bad thing. That's on account of me, not on account of reckoning you wouldn't want to hear it. You know that? I understand it ain't me. Do you believe me?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-24 05:57 am UTC (link)
	`An erasure of identity that privileges me. You were worried I would feel criticized. I do not know. I think perhaps you will feel badly should it happen again, even knowing, and perhaps I cannot stop that.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-24 06:02 am UTC (link)
	`I don't understand what you're saying. I was worried you'd feel I was asking you to change how you are. I don't want you thinking I'm asking that. Can I ask what you'd think if it was reversed?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-24 06:07 am UTC (link)
	`I look straight, but I am not. An erasure of identity. However, because of this I am not targeted. That is the privilege. Do you feel I am asking you this? Likely what I am thinking now, no?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-24 06:10 am UTC (link)
	`Are you saying it's bad or good? I know erasure is bad, but folks can't tell sexuality normally by looking. If I wear jeans and a sweater, folks can't tell. I don't, but we ain't talking bout me just now. I ain't clear what you mean.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Fleet]
heir
2018-01-24 06:14 am UTC (link)

It is both, I think. At times, I think I may pass for white. It is the same thing. I do not think so. You are but asking me to know what you need and to attempt to remember it when the time comes. I suppose I ought say we are not talking about me just now. Perhaps I too readily speak of myself. I will refer you back to what I said, when I said you may feel somewhat badly, but that I cannot stop it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-24 06:17 am UTC (link)
	`You are white, ain't you? Okay. Then I didn't make nothing worse? I was just asking what you'd think if I walked off on you. I reckon I got myself lost some place long the line.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-24 06:24 am UTC (link)
	[...] `No. You did not. I did not walk off. I went to the window. I am sorry if it felt this way, however.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-24 06:26 am UTC (link)
	`But you ain't black. Damian, I ain't trying to get you to apologize to me. I want to know how your mind works, to see if it can help me fix mine similarly. How would you reason it, is what I'm asking. I ain't going to use it gainst you, which I reckon you fret I might.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-24 06:34 am UTC (link)
	`I am Arab. North African. You do not wish for me to feel I must change, but you clearly feel you must.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-24 06:40 am UTC (link)
	`Back home, they just tend to lump folks into being black or white. I know that ain't right, but I reckon they'd call you white. Wouldn't they? It ain't changing to understand how you think bout things. Ain't we meant to understand each other?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-24 06:41 am UTC (link)
	`No. I would be a terrorist. "I want to know how your mind works, to see if it can help me fix mine similarly." That is changing, Misha.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-24 06:44 am UTC (link)
	`Do you worry bout folks thinking that here? No, it ain't, it's understanding, and you won't answer me any. If I understand what you think, then I can fix my mind to understand it's that, and that it ain't you want to be far from me. Is that clearer any?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [Fleet]
heir
2018-01-24 06:47 am UTC (link)

Yes. People think it everywhere, especially after the attacks on September 11th. The night I nearly slept with that girl, at the club we were at, the bouncer did not like that I was pacing out front and instructed me to go elsewhere. I made him nervous. He suggested I plant bombs elsewhere. What are you asking that I am not answering? What I would do were our positions reversed? I cannot answer this, as I do not know, and they were never like to be reversed.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-24 06:55 am UTC (link)
	`That's real ridiculous. You weren't going to hurt anything. It's as fool as folks back home reckoning they're somehow better than black folk. We best not go see my home never, if you reckon they'd look on you badly. That's what I was asking.` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] heir 2018-01-24 06:58 am UTC (link)
	`It has been this way since I came to this country. It is not new. At times, my name earns respect I would not otherwise get. Or, vitriol, if people are concerned about non-whites 'taking over.' I would still like to see your home. But, is not the problem that I would not hold you when you desired me to? So how could I know?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [Fleet] tithe 2018-01-24 07:04 am UTC (link)
	`Where I'm from is real awful bout race, Dami, and it ain't kind bout being gay neither. Why would you want to be someplace folks ain't going to look at you right. It's wrong, their way of thinking. Skin and religion ain't got a thing to do with anything. Then say what you feel when you don't?` (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)