Tweak

InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "What was your name again?"

Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me
  • Create Account
  • IJ Login
  • OpenID Login
Search by : 
  • View
    • Create Account
    • IJ Login
    • OpenID Login
  • Journal
    • Post
    • Edit Entries
    • Customize Journal
    • Comment Settings
    • Recent Comments
    • Manage Tags
  • Account
    • Manage Account
    • Viewing Options
    • Manage Profile
    • Manage Notifications
    • Manage Pictures
    • Manage Schools
    • Account Status
  • Friends
    • Edit Friends
    • Edit Custom Groups
    • Friends Filter
    • Nudge Friends
    • Invite
    • Create RSS Feed
  • Asylums
    • Post
    • Asylum Invitations
    • Manage Asylums
    • Create Asylum
  • Site
    • Support
    • Upgrade Account
    • FAQs
    • Search By Location
    • Search By Interest
    • Search Randomly

Ton Phanan ([info]wraith_7) wrote in [info]outoftimerp,
@ 2012-09-11 13:25:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:*closed, *complete, .location: hospital, martha jones, ton phanan

Characters: Ton Phanan, Martha Jones
Rating: PG for now
Trigger Warnings: Discussion of mutual trauma also Phanan sarcasm?
Location: Paco and Awanata doctors office apartments
Day and Time: Tuesday. June 28, middle of the night
Status: Closed, PM to join

One of the lucky benefits of the head injury that had resulted in the cybernetic face was just enough brain damage to keep Phanan from remembering the event. The obvious drawback here was that nightmares were just vague, fiery messes that made no sense at all and just sort of hurt. He liked to pretend he did not really notice the metal parts, or that he did not really care and most days that was more or less true. And on the bad days, the days it wasn't true he would just force on a smile, and let his sarcasm become a bit more bitter than normal and that would be that. And sometimes, on days like today, he'd just have nightmares anyway even though everything had been fine.

His remaining eye snapped open as he finally dragged himself out of it, lying frozen in bed for a long moment, suddenly, infinitely away of every piece of technology welded to his body. He imagined he could feel every wire racing up to connect to a tendon, ever circuit replacing brain cells, every bit of electricity that had replaced muscle function. It was a horrifying feeling, incredibly disconcerting and for a moment he thought he was going to be sick.

Instead he sat up slowly, hating that he had done this so many times now and was still terrible at dealing with it. The cool air struck the bare, sweat-soaked skin of his chest and he shivered, running a shaky hand through his hair and trying to avoid contacting any bits of metal. Vaguely he wondered if he had been screaming. His throat certainly hurt enough for it. Oh, that was nice. He did not bother turning on the light, and the eery red glow of his robotic eye did little to penetrate the darkness.



(Post a new comment)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-09-11 06:54 pm UTC (link)
Martha woke at the first sound of screams from the other side of her bedroom wall. Not a pleasant way to wake. Hurredly pulling on some shorts and a jacket, she ran out into the hallway and knocked on his door.

"Ton? Hello?" The screaming had stopped, but there still wasn't an answer. She hoped he was dealing with a nightmare and not an assailant. She knocked again before opening the door and rushing in.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-09-11 07:31 pm UTC (link)
Oh, this just got better and better. Phanan had every intention of ignoring the pounding on his door. On a better day he would have let out a few loud, dramatic and obviously fake snores until Martha laughed and rolled her eyes at the silly cyborg living next door and went back to bed. In the end it didn't matter since she had already opened the door.

"I need one of those fancy little do not disturb signs they have at hotels," He remarked, glancing away and keeping his face and the harsh emotions lining it hidden in the shadows, still playing at being a joker. "And someone to bring me room service at the push of a button while I'm at it."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-09-11 07:39 pm UTC (link)
"It depends on the hotel," Martha commented without missing a beat. "Some planets, a hotel is merely an open room and everyone gets a sleeping mat. They tend to have awful room service too."

Martha wrapped the coat more securely around her form. Shirt. She had to remember that shirts were important when running out of the room in an emergency.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-09-11 07:58 pm UTC (link)
"I'm far too classy for such hotels," Phanan replied, briefly considering offering her a shirt before reminding himself she could just walk next door and get one of her own if she really needed it.

"Did you get lost? This is my room." He pointed out, wanting more than anything for her to just get up and leave and let him sit alone in the dark for the rest of the night since he wasn't going to be sleeping anyway.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-09-11 08:17 pm UTC (link)
Martha was unsure what she had gone in to do. She heard screams. She went to investigate. And to heal. But how did you help someone who was so not in the mood to be helped?'

"Refusing to sleep is just going to make them worse," she remarks, almost as if she were reading his thoughts. Martha had tried the no sleeping route. It just made everything ten times as vivid when she actually did sleep, and resulted in hallucinations while awake. It had been horrific.

"Hallucinations are only fun so long as they're good ones."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-09-11 11:44 pm UTC (link)
Phanan sighed softly, frozen for a long moment before finally turning to look at her for the first time during the whole conversation. He looked ragged, raw, stark lines of misery carved onto what was left of his face. The shadows and the red light from his eye made it all look worse, more dramatic, almost sinister.

"Its just some nights," He said quietly, as if that explained away the whole stupid situation. "Its not hallucinations or anything like that. Its just... unhappiness, I guess."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-09-12 03:27 pm UTC (link)
Martha froze as the red glow of his mechanical eye washed over her. It reminded her of that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie her brother had wanted to watch. The one with the killer robots from the future. Relax you ninny. He's done nothing to harm you. It's just an eye. Just a prosthetic.

She moved further into the room. "It just so happens I know a little bit about unhappiness," she begins. Then Martha shakes her head. "I'm not going to make you talk. Hell I don't like talking about my issues. But, I do want you to get some more sleep. If there's an emergency tomorrow, I need you in top shape."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-09-13 01:09 am UTC (link)
Of course Phanan caught the way she froze, because that's what people always did when they saw him and after awhile it got impossible to ignore that sort of thing. Cyborgs were generally viewed as something between humans and droids, something that did not fit into either group. The fact that most cyborgs enhanced themselves willingly, looking for a way to boost their strength or intelligence or what have you did little to endear them to the rest of the population. Being less than human made it very easy to hate himself.

He actually let out a short, sharp laugh at her comment. "Martha Jones, I think you may be too good for the rest of us in this mess of a place." He shifted over on the bed slightly, making room for her if she wanted to sit since it looked like she was staying. "Sometimes it just hits me, what I am, everything I don't get to be anymore, that's all. And all I can think about is every piece of metal welded in a place that's supposed to be skin and it's, I don't know, claustrophobic?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-09-13 05:52 am UTC (link)
Martha's smile was just as bitter. "I am many things Ton Phanan, but none of those is too good." No, she wouldn't explain what she meant. Because like everyone else, he'd tell her that the Paradox wasn't her fault. Couldn't be her fault. And besides, everyone lived anyway in the end so why should she care?

But then no one else had brought the chameleon arch to the Master's attention.

Martha sat on the bed next to him, sitting cross legged and facing him actually. "I imagine it would be. Claustrophobic I mean." Martha looked him over, this time without the fear and with more curiosity. "Are there simulated neural pathways in the prosthetics?" she asked.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-09-14 01:15 am UTC (link)
Phanan nodded, twisting closer to face her so she could examine the prosthetics more closely. It was still dark but the dim light still picked out the handful of neat surgical scars scattered across his bare torso, as well as the burns crawling unevenly up his left side, trailing from his shoulder down to disappear near his hipbone - souvenirs from the same accident where he had lost his face and leg.

"More or less. I don't get any physical sensation in the metal ones, but the hand feels pretty real. This one replaced a lot of damaged brain tissue along with the face," He added, gesturing absently towards his head.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-09-15 02:54 am UTC (link)
Readjusting her coat again and making sure it was buttoned, Martha studied the man before her. Slowly she reached out, pausing as if to ask him permission before continuing on. Her fingers carefully brushed against Phanan's face plate, which he said he couldn't feel. It was cold and hard, like metal should be.

Gently, ever so gently, her fingers ghosted over the area where skin met prosthetic and continued down his throat. She switched hands then, her right taking over the job of holding her coat together, her left running over the scars. Damned scars. They reminded her of the thatch work visible as her sleeves fell back to her elbow. Finally, her fingers made their way down his right arm and to his hand. She marveled at the craftsmanship even as she recognized the horror of what had happened.

Martha traced around his knuckles before curling her fingers around his. She cleared her throat as if to speak, but there were no words. None that she could say that would make any of this OK. Both of them broken souls in a new environment. So she talked about what she could.

"After my incident..." Yes. She'd burnt down the cabin and reached acceptance and still Martha couldn't refer to that torture as anything but the incident. "After I woke up... I had nightmares. Regular nightmares. Didn't really go away, but it helped to have another person around. I had plenty of bedmates." And she meant it in the chastest way possible. "If you need a warm body next to you tonight, I can provide that."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-09-15 06:33 pm UTC (link)
Ton sat very still as she examined his prosthetics, letting her get a closer look at the hard metal side of his face and the way it joined awkwardly to his skin. The nerves there were always a bit of a mess now, so he occasionally lost track of the fingers, or they reported them cold and hard like stone or soft and ticklish as feathers. The scars on his body he did not mind quite as much; surgical scars were normal, not worth being stared at and even the burns were usually covered by a shirt and easily forgotten about.

He had mixed feelings about the hand. The fact that it looked so real made it easy to forget about, hard for other people to notice and yet at the same time that normality made it all the worse. There was still just a faint sense of something off about it, something wrong, and usually that just meant people had to stare all the more trying to figure out just what it was about it that was bothering them so much. He twisted the artificial fingers around hers and squeezed lightly back. Aside from the comlink built into his head none of his cybernetic parts were enhanced in any way. They were still basic human levels of speed and strength.

He looked surprised at the suggestion. "You know, in five years I don't think a single person has ever once suggested that to me." He remarked, adding, "I can count on one hand the number of times I've slept with anyone in any capacity in all that time, actually, and please don't take that as me coming onto you." He added, a ghost of his usual dry sarcasm in his voice. Reluctantly he let go of the hand, just long enough to stand and walk over to the dresser, rummaging around for a spare set of pajamas to toss to her. He had to be close to a foot taller than her, but he figured she would prefer them being too large to the way she was constantly readjusting her coat. "Thanks," He added very quietly, like he was afraid of letting someone hear him being serious or vulnerable or anything but caustically sarcastic.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-09-15 11:15 pm UTC (link)
Martha knew what he meant and smiled her comprehension. Her smile grew as he tossed her the huge pajamas. She held them against her body for a second as if to judge how big they were going to be when she heard his muffled thanks. "It's I who should be thanking you," she murmured back before standing and turning her back on him.

Since she was wearing shorts already, Martha had no qualms about changing shirts. Without the jacket, her flawless back was exposed, creating a sharp difference to the crosshatching of scars that covered her arms. She tried not to think about them, as she shrugged the shirt on over her head. It landed somewhere down near her knees and the short sleeves were past her elbows. When she turned back to Ton, she shrugged, smirking slightly. "Next time I'll remember to bring my own."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-09-17 01:45 am UTC (link)
"And why is that?" Phanan asked, not really seeming to notice or react to her changing. Between his background in medicine and the fact that modesty tended to be replaced by practicality in a commando squadron that was often switching back and forth between elaborate disguises it wasn't really something he thought much of anymore. He was struck by how sad it was to watch the smooth skin of her back contrast with the scars of her arms. It was something so subtle, and yet so tragic.

He managed a ghost of a smile. "I like it better this way. Its more hilarious watching you drown in that thing." He sat back down on the edge of the bed, scooting over to make room for her in case she wanted to join him. He was still visibly distracted, focusing on the humor and sarcasm automatically because that was how he dealt with things, or rather distracted people from the fact that in reality he could not deal with things at all.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-09-17 04:16 am UTC (link)
"You kept me alive," she said simply. More memories had been flooding into her daily. Martha knew now what he had done for her. She could hear Derrick, Eddie, Jack... all of them explaining how she had survived. Gray tied the tourniquets. Eddie took her to the hospital. And Ton Phanan donated the blood. More blood than he should have.

Martha smiled and held up her arms. "I look like a scarecrow." She crossed back over to the bed and sat next to him, close enough to bump shoulders. Her fingers found his again, intertwining automatically and squeezing gently. Martha saw how he couldn't deal with anything. Honestly, she knew what it felt like. But Martha wasn't going to force it out of him. They barely knew each other.

"I think we need to find you a really big hat... with a feather. Since you're a pirate and all," she told him. Yes... she was going to go to the sarcasm too.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-09-17 06:06 pm UTC (link)
"My first day here," Phanan nodded at the memory, adding with a tiny smirk, "Your friend Eddie wouldn't let my touch you. I was a limited in ways to help out." At the end of the day, despite all claims to the contrary, he still did like being a doctor, at least a little. He'd given it up when he realized he liked hurting people he hated a lot more than he cared about saving people he didn't know, but it had been a hard career to give up entirely.

He squeezed her hand in return before twisting to lie back on the bed, leaving space if she wanted to follow. The hand stayed intertwined with hers. "Is that what pirates were on your planet?" He asked curiously. "It wouldn't work right now, they haven't managed to get me a replacement X-Wing since mine blew up a few weeks ago and I'm stuck with a TIE fighter and a helmet for oxygen."

It was easy, stupid small talk and he suddenly felt bad about it, like he was wasting her time talking about things that didn't matter now that she had offered to stay. "Was I screaming? That's what woke you up?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-09-17 06:18 pm UTC (link)
Martha nodded. "Yes, Eddie was protective of me. He's gone now though. Disappeared around the time of the werewolf attack." Martha lay back with him intending o discuss pirates, but staying quiet when he asked her questions.

"Yes..." she admitted quietly. "I had hoped it was a nightmare and not an attacker. I'm not too useful in a fight."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-10-02 01:20 am UTC (link)
Phanan made no move to pull her closer as she laid down next to him. He wasn't in the mood to cuddle, not really. It was just her presence, and having her nearby that made him feel better just now. He was still lying in the dark, but at least he was not as alone as he had been.

"If someone was attacking me in the dark I'd either kill them or take them hostage to get some answers. No screaming." He replied. It could have sounded like one of his usual over the top sarcastic statements but in fact it was quite straightforward and honest. He'd done it before, he could do it again. At this point it was the sort of thing that happened to the Wraiths every other week.

He stayed silent for a moment before explaining, "Most of the time they don't really make sense. My nightmares, that is. I don't really remember the worst of the injuries, so sometimes I guess my brain just gets bored and decides to make things up about it."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Yay! You're back!!
[info]notrosesshadow
2012-10-02 01:40 am UTC (link)
Martha stared at the ceiling as he talked. Her own nightmares flicked through her brain as he talked. "I hate it when my brain decides to make things up," she commiserated.

"It's like, it can't just let me deal with all the real shit that did happen, it has to make it ten times worse."

Granted, it was hard to make Martha's nightmares worse. But her brain still managed to do so. And as much as she was OK now... it didn't mean the nightmares didn't come back.

"Have you ever had to sleep somewhere else?" she asked quietly.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

I missed everyone!!!
[info]wraith_7
2012-10-02 09:06 pm UTC (link)
Phanan nodded, since yeah, that was just about the best way he could have though of to put it, too. Like his imagination just made everything so much worse. It made him feel like a little kid afraid of the dark, and even though that sounded silly he could never dismiss the comparison.

He was a doctor, he could fill in the blanks about post traumatic stress disorder and depression on his own, but that didn't mean he knew how to talk to people about it, or how to start fixing everything that was wrong with him. He didn't think he ever really could be fixed, now that there was so little of him left.

"Yeah," He said, equally quietly. "Its hard, with the work I do now. I love my squadron mates, but there aren't many places to go to be alone. But yeah, sometimes I just feel like I have to hide, or just get away from something. Myself, maybe, which is sort of pointless."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-10-03 03:09 am UTC (link)
"Back at the Castle, I slept under the bed. Sometimes in my wardrobe..." Martha admits quietly. "Once in a sewer. Especially after a particularly bad one, and with no one around to keep me company, I had to go into hiding. It was like..."

She stopped talking suddenly. She wasn't sure she wanted to discuss the year. If he pushed, she'd share. But it was clear to Martha, as OK as she was during the day around her friends, night time was a very different story.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-10-03 08:34 pm UTC (link)
Phanan nodded as her sentence trailed off. He knew what it was like. "Usually I just go run flight simulators and try not to sleep. The only other place to hide is the med bay and that's not usually very helpful."

It hadn't really been a problem here, at least in the old castle with its thick stone walls to block any sounds he made an a million different places to run to. But now it was just the two of them, both equally screwed up, stuck in a tiny building. Martha might have a network of friends she was able to reach out to for help, but he did not like sharing this part of himself with other people, even his best friend Face. Martha, though, that was different, that was someone who got it, who knew that bad things happened and you didn't walk away from them okay.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-10-03 09:32 pm UTC (link)
Martha laughed self-deprecatingly. "I can't remember the last time I didn't have a nightmare. They're easier to bear when someone's with me. Eddie or Jack or someone. Not so traumatizing."

Her hand squeezed his again as she worked to overcome the emotion threatening to take her down. "Either way, if I were to escape mine by not sleeping, I'd never sleep again. And then I'd be dead. And I'd really rather not die from not sleeping. Also, it's easier to wake from a nightmare than it is from a hallucination."

Her tone was short and business like. As though she were lecturing herself on the right thing to do.

She turned on her side finally and looked over at Phanan. "I'm sorry that you have to go through all this shit as well Ton Phanan. But I'm glad there's someone else who understands where I'm coming from."

Because as much as she loved Jack and the Doctor, as much as they had been through shit.. hell more shit than she'd been through... they had the advantage of many many years to work or not work through this. Their immense age automatically made them just slightly out of reach for her.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-10-03 10:58 pm UTC (link)
"I don't have as many now as I did at first, if that's any comfort, which it probably isn't." Phanan said, squeezing her hand back like he was terrified she was about to disappear and take all this with her.

He twisted his head to meet her gaze as she rolled onto her side, nodding awkwardly. "I haven't talked about this to anyone. They had me go through therapy at first, but I'm a doctor, you know? I didn't want to talk about it, so it was easy to lie and tell them what they wanted to hear without actually saying anything real. It just seemed stupid to talk about when no one was going to understand. So thank you."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-10-04 04:57 am UTC (link)
"I imagine they do go away provided one has a chance to get used to them," Martha commented. "The problem is, before I have a chance to process one trauma, I'm subjected to another. When I got these," she remarks nodding to her arms, "They were not the first thing to put me in my condition. I was already in bad shape. That just made it worse. And then I was in that prison... and then... Eddie disappeared."

She flopped down again. "This transport? Maybe whomever's in charge here won't use me as their personal toy... I'd like to pick up the pieces, you know?"

Martha did bring his hand up to her cheek in acknowledgement to the rest of his statement. She felt bad talking about herself when he was the one with the nightmare. In fact, she hadn't had one yet tonight. Yet being the keyword.

"I wonder if the Powers That Be put us next to each other for this reason," she mused. "Either way, you're welcome in my room anytime."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-10-04 03:30 pm UTC (link)
Phanan nodded, doing his best to put all that in the right order, along with what she had told him before about what had happened to her. That was a lot of sithspit to go through in a pretty short amount of time.

"Yeah," He agreed. Moving around without answers like this somehow just made everything so much worse. "I feel like I need to just sit still, and theres so much chaos here that it won't let me."

He ran his hand lightly along her cheek, just glad for the contact. "I don't know if I believe in anything like that - I mean, I've got a friend who can use a little bit of the Force and all but that's it - but maybe you're right. There are plenty of other doctors they could have stuck here but they didn't."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-10-04 05:37 pm UTC (link)
Martha closed her eyes as his hand ran along her cheek. It felt nice. Safe. She willed back the tears that came to the surface, silently cursing the one that escaped.

"I don't mean anything all powerful like a god or something," she said quietly. "Lost any belief in that after my first ordeal. I meant whomever's in charge here. Ike or what have you. Someone brought us here."

She gave Phanan a resigned smiled. "We should try and get some sleep. Because knowing our luck, tomorrow will be the day the plague hits or something. And we can't solve that by throwing paper airplanes at each other."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-10-05 12:40 am UTC (link)
Ton was not about to start judging her for that tear; he was dangerously close to them himself, to be honest, and crying was a lot more awkward to watch when the person doing it only had one working eye left. So he just brushed the stray one away with his hand and let it go without saying anything.

"Well whoever it is either has a sick sense of humor or was trying to be nice to us." He decided, adding, "Wish I knew which one it was."

He nodded, before asking in a voice that was more vulnerable than he would have liked, "You don't mind staying?" If she left he had every intention of finding some alcohol and getting irresponsibly, blindly drunk, but she didn't need to know that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-10-05 03:10 am UTC (link)
Martha was glad for his silence. It helped her not dissolve into a puddle of tears. She quickly pulled herself together.

"Of course I don't mind staying," Martha whispered. "I'm due a bad nightmare soon anyway. Perhaps this will stave it off one more night."

She focused on Phanan again and asked, "Would you like me to sing to you?" It sounded like it was out of the blue, but singing helped. It helped her at least...

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-10-05 07:59 pm UTC (link)
"I should warn you I can't switch this thing off," Phanan gestured towards his glowing eye as he spoke. It was creepy enough during the daylight, and in a darkened room it was much worse. "Sorry; I know its annoying."

It was out of the blue, but he looked stunned and faintly grateful, rather than confused. "Alright. Thanks."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-10-05 08:09 pm UTC (link)
"It means there's a nightlight when I wake up again," she shrugged. Not that that made it any less creepy, but he clearly hated the fact that he had all these prosthetics.

She was glad when he agreed to her singing. Because she needed to focus her brain on something else for a minute.

Martha began singing a quiet folk song her mother used to sing her when she had nightmares. Her voice shook at first as she struggled to find a key, but once she settled it was pleasent enough. Not good, but not bad either.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-10-07 12:13 pm UTC (link)
Not that he wanted to think about it, but Phanan was fairly sure this was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for him. It did not matter that Martha seemed a bit shaky or that he did not know the song. He was trembling, he realized vaguely, and there was not much he could do to keep her from noticing. At least he managed to choke back tears, which was something. He did not trust himself to speak, so he just lay there, listening quietly to her song.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]notrosesshadow
2012-10-07 03:54 pm UTC (link)
Martha raised herself up onto her elbow. Her voice got a little stronger as she did. Slowly, she reached out a hand and began running it through Phanan's hair. He trembled, but so did she, so it wasn't that bad in the grand scheme of things.

The song switched over to Hey Jude as she smoothed his hair back from his forehead and continued combing her fingers through it.

Martha could feel her eyes wanting to close. Somewhere along the Na na na nas, she yawned. And slowly she lay back down, nestling herself against Phanan and continuing to hum. Of course there would still be pain, and nightmares, and other bad things. But mostly, Martha was comforted by the fact that she found someone who would understand.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wraith_7
2012-10-08 01:00 am UTC (link)
Up until now Phanan had managed to hold it together but at the way she began running her hands through his hair he finally lost his last bit of self control. What was left of his face twisted up as tears began to escape, an ugly contrast with the unmoving metal fused to it. It turned a normal human emotion into something monstrous and wrong looking, each half throwing the other into stark contrast.

There was a lot he still was not going to say to her, like how much he hated himself and his existence most days, or how sometimes on missions it felt like it would just be so easy to slip for a moment, to drift into the line of fire or be a little too slow to draw his blaster. But the tears and admissions about how hard it was just to be alive were more than most people got, and as a result he did not really know how to say thank you or tell her how much he appreciated it all. So he just silently pulled her closer as she snuggled up against him, so desperately grateful she had heard him having that nightmare.

(Reply to this) (Parent)



Home | Site Map | Manage Account | TOS | Privacy | Support | FAQs