OPERATION NDFUG
Author: Wildepet
Title: Operation NDFUG
Rating: PG 13
Characters: Celine/SWMNBN, Oliver/Lars
Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: Apparently I have problems distinguishing between fictional characters and real people. My psychologist tells me there’s nothing too worrying about that - but then again she’s quite insane herself and might be hoping for a bit of nookie so…



Celine opened her heavily mascara-ed eyes with a heartfelt groan.
“Whe-where am I?” she whispered, warily feeling around in the dark. She shuddered as her hands touched thick warm fur, for a terrifying second she thought there was an animal with her in this dark and scary place until she realised that the entire floor was covered in thick fur rugs. Confused she skidded backwards until she hit a wall. A wall? She ran her fingers over the smooth cold surface. Was that ice?
The last thing she remembered was a waitress offering her fish at the restaurant where she and Oliver had paused for lunch.
“Hello?” she called uncertainly. “Hello? Please, where am I?”
“Celine?” she heard a familiar voice, calling from a distance. “Oh my God, Celine! Is that you?”
“Stella?!” Celine cried disbelievingly, crawling towards the source of the voice. “I thought you were in Canada!” She reached the other end of the room and found a small opening in the wall.
“Stella?” she whispered.
“Yeah, I’m here. I don’t know what happened, the ambulance was abducted by… by some kind of freak ninjas in sparkly fur coats on the way to the airport”, Stella whispered back. “They sedated us and took us here.”
“Lars is here, too?” Celine started to cry. “They must have taken Oliver, as well!”
“Oliver?”
“Yes, we were on our way to Bailleul, where we were going to start a new life.”
She heard quiet sobs.
“What is it, Stella?” she asked worriedly.
“It’s just… So far they’ve treated me well, really. They flew in a doctor to supervise my therapy and everything… But… but I’m not so sure about Lars. Sometimes I think I can hear him moan, or cry out in pain.”
“You think they’re torturing him? And… they’d do the same to Oliver? Who are these people? Oh Stella… What are we going to do?”
She reached through the small opening and sighed with relief as Stella’s soft, warm hands comfortingly closed around hers.
“There’s nothing we can do… We just have to be strong.”

In the Igloo’s command centre, the supervisor yawned.
“Operation NDFUG is going as planned”, she informed her fellow conspirators via Skype. “They’ll be inseparable soon.”
“Good, I’ve spoken to our outpost in Lebanon, she has the necessary medical background and she’s willing to supervise those two once we release them.”
“Perfect.”
“How’s operation Happily Ever Olars coming along?”
“Agent C is working on it. Making them watch fanvids, reading out fanfic…”
She rolled her eyes.
“They’re still insisting that we’re over-interpreting. Pfft. Yeah, right. We heard you moaning Oliver’s name in your sleep, Berger. We saw the LOOKS.”
“Give it time. They won’t be able to pretend forever.”
The supervisor nodded thoughtfully.
“So, what’s next on our list? Agent C has noticed a frightening amount of chemistry between Maximilian and Dr Axel Steinkamp-Schwarz recently and I think she’s right.”
“Think we can pair up Lena and Jenny? I’ll need to give that some thought…”