Nicholas Rowland (amending) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2013-01-01 14:45:00 |
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Entry tags: | clio, nicholas rowland |
WHO: Nicholas Rowland and Clio
WHAT: Just a bit of a breakdown you know
WHEN: NYE
WHERE: The empty apartment above Fusion Blues
WARNINGS: Talk of sexual assault, swears, Nicholas being emo
Nicholas was hiding.
A few hours after he had assaulted and raped Sia, he had come to his senses and realised the full weight of what he had done. He had no way of knowing Sia was actually Lust and that he had just been a toy in one of her fucked up games. To him, he had done two of the things he found most despicable, and he had done it without showing any remorse.
The remorse came. He withdrew from everyone he knew and he even refused to be in the apartment he had committed such an atrocity in. Instead he locked himself in the empty apartment above Fusion Blues which he usually used as a semi-office. He hardly ate and hardly slept, choosing to sit on the corner of his bed and loathe himself. Somehow he saw that as much more constructive that anything else. There was no way he could make up for this. He couldn't be absolved for hurting and then raping someone.
He hadn't had any visitors and even Hannah had given up on trying to call him when all of her texts and calls had gone ignored. So when there was a knock on his door, he looked up from his spot on the bed, confused.
Immediately, he panicked. Who was it? Could he control himself? He had always thought he would never cross the line, but with Sia he hadn't been able to stop himself. He was disgusting. How did he know he wouldn't do it again? "Who is it?" he called out, unsure if he was willing to open the door or not.