InsaneJournal

When the Pride of Portree's players and staff members arrive at the club on Monday, they may notice some new decorations among the extant Yuletide fare. A few dozen small, fabric ornaments have been added to garlands, nestled above doorways, and secreted into book cases. They weren't constructed, or placed, artfully, but they're kind of cute. Some fly in circles above the locker room, lounge, and cafeteria. If you get close you'll notice that they're PIGS.

That was awfully nice of whoever put in the time and effort to put them up!


By mid-morning the ornaments begin to sing Yuletide carols in lovely (oinky) little voices. How adorable!

At lunch, the lyrics... develop. Each carol becomes either Quidditch-themed or rudely-phrased — or both! Although it's evident this was an inside job, no one fesses up to the deed.

Modified carols include:

• "Away in St. Mungo's"
  
• "Deck the Ref"
  
• "Fuck Off You Merry Gentlemen"
  
• "Hark! The Paparazzi Yap"
  
• "Jingle Balls"
  
• "Go Tell It to the Goalposts"
  
• "Good King Urquhart"
  
• "Little Beater Boy"
  
• "O Come, All Hungover"
  
• "O Come, O Come, O Bollocks"
  
• "O Quidditch Tree"

The crowning glory of the effort may be an entirely new version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" called "The Twelve Plays of Portree," the chorus of which goes as follows:

For the twelfth play of Portree, my admin gave to me...
Twelve Decent Teams,
Eleven Cannons Kipping,
Ten Mascots Leaping,
Nine Bludgers Whizzing,
Eight Coaches Yelling,
Seven Howlers Screeching,
Six Groupies Laying,
Five Golden Hoops,
Four Diving Seekers,
Three MacFustys,
Two Quafflepocks,
and a Concussion in the Infirmary!

[ooc credit: adorable pig photos taken from here!]