lookmaimmawolf (lookmaimmawolf) wrote in multifariousic, @ 2015-06-18 23:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | !thread, derek hale (lookmaimmawolf), joey mccoy (stumpystahp), tim murphy (pieceoftoast) |
WHO: (Canon)Derek Hale, (Nemeton)Joey McCoy, Tim Murphy
WHAT: Putting Timmy to bed & srs talk
WHEN: Thursday night 6/18
WHERE: Derek’s apartment
WARNINGS/RATING: It’s a thing with cutes and angsts?
STATUS: Closed, Complete
Having Timmy around was starting to feel normal, and Derek wondered if that was actually a bad thing. The kid was a ball of energy at the best of times but if he was being honest, Derek kind of liked being kept on his toes. The boy rambled but it was nice to have someone to lead in the right direction, and his curiosity never got on Derek’s nerves because Derek himself never really got the chance to talk to a whole lot of people. It was ridiculous but this ten year old boy was truly helping him come out of his shell. Plus, he got along with Joey, and for some reason, that was even more important to Derek than the whole ‘open communication with a kid’ thing. He had flighty thoughts, of course. Moving to L.A so that he and Joey could just share a space together, so she didn’t have to always come over or he didn’t always have to go over there for them to see each other, but now he wasn’t sure. Now there was Tim, and Derek certainly wasn’t going to leave him alone in New York with Laura. Not because he didn’t think that Tim and Laura would get along, but because Derek made the promise that he would be there for Timmy. And he planned on keeping that promise. So for tonight he allowed himself to let go of his concerns, because it didn’t matter where he was living or what he was doing to make sure that he was giving Tim everything that a ten year old boy deserved to have. Tonight it was just the three of them on a couch watching a movie that the other two agreed upon, and with Joey under one arm and Tim leaning against the other, Derek felt at peace. It wasn’t until he heard a little snore come out of Tim that Derek realized he had passed out; Joey was sitting on his other side. Her scent, whatever perfume or shampoo she always seemed to use, would always distract him from everything else, including the rhythmic breathing of a sleeping child leaning against his arm. He glanced down at the boy before cracking a smile and squeezing Joey under his other arm, glancing at her and nodding his head in Tim’s direction. “Oh yeah, he’s not tired, he can totally stay up for another movie, right?” Spending time with Derek, especially after having to have gone without it for so long, was great. Spending time with Derek and his sister was good. ...spending time with Derek and Tim was...new. It wasn’t that Joey didn’t like it, because she had to give it to the kid, he was amusing, what with his rambling and bouncing around, it was just...new. She wasn’t really sure how to describe it and she supposed she was going to have to get used to it because he was a part of Derek’s life, now, and if she wanted to continue to be a part of it as well, then Tim was going to have to becoming a part of her life, too. It wasn’t a bad thing, not by a long shot. It just made Joey a little antsy and nervous. She liked kids, it wasn’t that she didn’t, it just reminded her that she was still kind of a kid, too. But she tried not to think about it too much; tried to just let that part of things be, because Tim was a good kid and he seemed to be having a good effect on Derek, who she’d noticed was...well...content in a way she couldn’t explain, but knew she hadn’t really seen before. Joey wondered if that was part of what Lydia had gone through when Mika had shown up in the City; it had to be, right? So, The Incredibles was actually not that lame so far. Joey looked up at Derek when she felt him give her a little squeeze and, at his nod, she leaned forward and looked down at Tim, pressing her lips together to keep from laughing. “Oh my God,” she said softly, a quiet giggle escaping her anyway. “Okay, that’s adorable. You want me to turn this off so you can put him to bed?” she whispered, leaning back against Derek again and smiling up at him. Derek couldn’t help but smile back at her before looking at Tim, shifting his arm just a little to test how deep his slumber was. The boy didn’t wake, and Derek rolled his eyes before looking back at Joey. “Yeah. You can put on whatever you want, let me go put him to bed though, alright? We’re still working on the whole ‘bedtime’ thing.” It was something that Derek was going to have to be firm about, he knew, but he was still worried that he was going to come off as too domineering. He wasn’t Tim’s father, after all, he never could be, and he didn’t want Tim to think that he was ever trying to be. But in the end, kids needed discipline, and Derek was still trying to figure out just how he was going to make that work. He shifted slowly at first, unwrapping his arm from around Joey’s shoulders and instead turning his body toward Tim, and he hooked both hands under his shoulders before lifting him easily as he stood. Derek hooked one arm under him and placed the other between Tim’s shoulders to keep him steady before turning and carrying him off to his bedroom. His bedroom, another thing that Derek had been thinking too much about. He had to start considering whether or not he was going to buy things to make the room more Tim’s than a guest room, because he had no idea how long the boy would be there, but every kid needed to feel like they had their own space, right? He just wasn’t sure if Tim was comfortable with that as well, and how do you start a conversation like that with a ten year old? He carried him slowly to the large bed before reaching down with one arm, tilting his torso carefully back to keep Tim from falling backwards, and he pulled the blankets and sheets down before finally settling Timmy down. It had become a routine by now; pull the blankets down, put him in bed, pull them back up, tuck him in, and run his hand through Tim’s hair a few times just to make sure that he was asleep, and that he didn’t leave the kid alone before he was. When he was satisfied that he didn’t disturb the boy’s slumber he shut off the bedside lamp, and he turned to step out of the bedroom and meet Joey back in the living room. Joey leaned forward to make it easier for Derek to disentangle himself from her and she nodded. “I’ll wait for you,” she told him, in reference to finding something else to watch. They both knew that if she didn’t, Derek would end up having to sit through a documentary like he always did when he told her to pick and Joey knew he wasn’t anywhere near as interested in them as she was. She watched as Derek shifted to get off the couch, lifting Tim and holding the little boy against his chest. For a moment, she just leaned back against the couch as Derek moved across the apartment, but as he disappeared into Tim’s room, Joey pushed herself up and got to her feet. Lydia said it was something she had to see and somehow, she didn’t think Derek would mind, so Joey found herself tracing his footsteps until she was standing just outside Tim’s door. Derek already appeared to have a routine in place for putting the kid to bed and Joey leaned against the door jamb to watch it, a fond sort of smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as Derek tucked the kid in and ran his hand through the little boy’s hair. She watched Derek sit there for a few minutes before reaching over and turning off the lamp. Joey gave Derek a small smile, her bottom lip caught between her teeth when he finally turned to her. She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the smaller voice behind him. “Coach, where’s my flashlight…?” Tim asked, his eyes still closed and his hand groping blindly around the bedside table for something. The little boy’s voice was sleep-choked, but there was still the tiniest hint of panic there that Joey didn’t pick up, but Derek probably would. Joey’s eyes moved past Derek and she spotted it; a tiny Maglite on the floor beside the table. It was almost by reflex that she moved into the room and crouched to pick it up, handing it to the still blindly-searching hand. “Here, buddy, it fell on the floor. You got it?” Timmy’s fingers curled around the flashlight she was holding out and his eyes opened to look past her at Derek. “Thank you,” he replied quietly to her without looking at her, silently asking for Derek to stay until he fell asleep, but not wanting to come out and say the words in front of Coach’s girlfriend. Derek was more than mildly surprised to see Joey standing in the doorway, unsure of what she was really doing there and why she was watching, but he found that he didn’t mind. It warmed him a little, really, to know that she was at least interested in watching Derek interact with Tim, and why it comforted him, he still didn’t know. He had almost spoke to her before he heard Tim stir, panic in his voice, and before Derek could turn and reassure him Joey was already in the room handing him the flashlight that he needed before falling asleep. He smiled as she did, fondly, at her, and he wasn’t sure if she saw it or not because he didn’t even know he was doing it. He didn’t expect Joey to be anything more than ‘coaches girlfriend’ to Tim, and he was okay with that. It wasn’t something that Joey herself had taken on, Tim wasn’t her responsibility, and although Derek always had faith that she would stick around despite the fact that he started taking care of a ten year old child, Derek never planned to make Joey feel obligated to fill any role. Particularly because they had only been dating for a few months, and although Derek was more than ready to say that he was going to spend the rest of his life with her, thinking it and placing the expectations on her shoulders were two completely different things. He didn’t miss the way that Tim stared at him, both hopeful and a little embarrassed, and Derek smiled at him before placing a hand on Joey’s shoulder and kissing her on the cheek. “I usually like to make sure that he falls asleep. So I stick in here with him.” His eyes moved to Tim for a second before switching back to Joey’s face. “It’s just because sometimes we like to talk about what we’re going to do tomorrow. Isn’t that right Tim?” He started to move back over to the boy’s bed, his hand reaching out to squeeze Joey’s before giving her an apologetic look. “You don’t have to stay, baby.” It certainly wasn’t him kicking her out, but he wanted her to know that he understood. Asking a nineteen year old girl to stick around and wait for him to lull a ten year old boy to sleep was asking for far too much, and Derek was already hyper aware of just how much the suddenly change in dynamic was affecting their relationship. Not negatively, just… differently. He sat beside Tim and made sure that his flashlight was close, his fingers slowly moving through the young boy’s hair as they always did when he was trying to calm him down. “It’s gonna be alright, champ. Maybe tomorrow we’ll look and see if there’s any local basketball teams you can join, huh? I bet you’re getting rusty.” That was to poke fun, but in reality, Derek did want to check if there were any camps or teams that were still doing sign ups. Tim needed to get the chance to hang out with kids his own age; the last thing Derek wanted was for him to have a lonely life while he was stuck with his old basketball Coach. Joey gave another small smile at the kiss on her cheek and she moved away from Tim’s bed to give Derek room to go back to the little boy’s side. Derek’s addendum was a lie and she knew it just by the fact that he even had to say it at all, but she knew why he’d said it and it was more than a little endearing. “Yeah,” Tim agreed quickly, nodding against his pillow, thankful for the fact that Coach was covering for him. He was ten, after all, he shouldn’t need Derek there until he fell asleep, but he still did, whether he liked it or not. Tim almost reached for Derek’s other hand until he noticed that Coach’s girlfriend wasn’t leaving. He turned his focus up to Derek’s face, eyes half-lidded with sleepiness and gave him a small smile when he felt Derek’s hand moving through his hair. That always helped him calm down and he was glad Derek did it without him having to ask for it. “You think there is?” he asked hopefully before yawning. For a moment, Joey hovered in place, chewing on her bottom lip as she watched Derek sit back down on the edge of Timmy’s bed, going back to the movements of his hand in the little boy’s hair and she couldn’t help being reminded a little of the way it used to feel when he’d done that to her before they’d become a couple. He still did it, but it had felt different back then, less affectionate and more monotonous, even though she supposed in retrospect, he’d always been doing it affectionately and she just hadn’t noticed. After a moment, Joey moved a few steps forward, pausing. She wasn’t sure if she was welcome to join them, not because Derek had given her any indication that she wasn’t, but because Tim hadn’t given her any indication that she was. “I forgot how much you guys like basketball,” she thought aloud and her feet were carrying her forward before she realized it. Joey sank down onto the edge of Tim’s bed beside Derek, looking around Derek at the little boy. “You know, I have a friend that I work with who could probably get tickets to a Lakers game…” she said off-handedly. “I don’t know, Timmy, you think you guys might be interested in that…?” Her eyes moved up to Derek and her eyebrows lifted in question; would he be interested? Would Tim? ...was it even okay that she was interrupting their ritual at all to offer it? “Yeah bud, maybe!” He encouraged when Tim asked if there could really be a basketball tryout around them, and he almost continued in the effort to talk the boy to sleep before Joey had interrupted. Derek looked at her in surprise, not because she was interrupting them in the first place but because she was still there, and for a brief moment Derek was almost scared that he made her feel like she had to be. But that didn’t seem to be the case when she slowly approached and sat beside him, and he gave a smile that he hoped looked just as grateful as he wanted it to when she pressed on. The offer was obviously one that she wouldn’t have made unless she wanted to give them, Derek and Tim, something to bond over, but the fact that she even cared enough to make the effort in the first place was more than what he could have ever asked for. “Hey, yeah, that sounds pretty awesome,” he responded fondly, and he let his free hand shift to shyly squeeze Joey’s beside him in thanks. His attention turned back down to Tim, his fingers still moving rhythmically through the boy’s hair, and when he continued to speak Derek’s voice softened, seemingly drifting off quieter and quieter the closer Tim seemed to sleep. “What do you think, bud, a Lakers game? That could be really cool, seeing them in person. We can make signs and everything, how about that?” He squeezed Joey’s hand beside him once more although his eyes were still on Timmy, determined to help him fall asleep, but he couldn’t help himself from wanting to show her affection. Wanting to convey that the little effort that she put out, the fact that she was still here instead of sitting in the living room or at home annoyed with her boyfriend over doing something that was admittedly insane and taking in a ten year old boy, meant more to him than he could probably say with words. “Basketball tryouts and a Lakers game. I don’t know about you, but it sounds to me like you’ve got some pretty cool stuff going on in the future, kiddo.” Tim’s eyes shifted to Derek, as well, at Joey’s offer and he smiled tiredly when Derek agreed. “Yeah, cool,” he agreed with another yawn. “I bet my buddy could get you courtside seats, too, that’d be cool, right?” Joey asked, grinning a little and giving Derek’s hand a squeeze back to let him know that she understood he was thanking her without saying it. Timmy nodded against his pillow and closed his eyes. “Are you coming, too?” he asked and Joey opened her mouth to respond, but realized she didn’t actually have a response. She looked over at Derek with question in her eyes as if to ask him what she was supposed to say, only to find that he was looking down at Tim, distracted with the repetitive motion that was lulling the little boy to sleep. “...if you want me to,” she decided aloud, sounding a little unsure of herself, but hoping that the open-ended response would let them both know that it was ultimately their decision and she would swing in whichever direction they wanted. Joey wasn’t particularly interested in going to a basketball game, but if it was important to Derek and Tim and they wanted her around while they bonded over a sport she couldn’t find the appeal to, then she’d suck it up, because what was important to them was important to Joey, now. With another yawn, Tim turned on his side to face Derek, his eyes still closed and his flashlight still in hand while he reached for Derek’s free hand as per their normal ritual. “You could come,” he replied softly, quickly losing the battle against sleep. He knew that he probably shouldn’t have, but Derek smiled when Joey gave her hesitant response to Tim’s question, leaving it purposefully open-ended in order to leave the decision up to Timmy himself. He wasn’t surprised when Tim had agreed to let Joey come, because in all reality, if he didn’t like Joey, she wouldn’t have been in the room with them right then. Tim would have send Derek a signal, anything to get him to make her leave the room, but he didn’t and that was certainly something that Derek hadn’t missed. “Joey will come if she doesn’t have work,” he agreed, purposefully giving her a way out if she so wanted it in the future. He watched closely, seeing Tim shift on his side, and Derek finally let go of Joey’s hand to take Timmy’s and hold it as he finally drifted off. A few seconds passed and Derek listened carefully, but his steady heartbeat and the loosening grip around his fingers told him all he needed to know, and Derek let go before slowly standing up and leaving the boy to his slumber. He turned to Joey and lifted a finger to his lips in order to convey silence, and he waited for her to move as well before leading her out of the room and reaching out to flick the lights off, taking her hand and leading her back into the dimly lit living area. It wasn’t until they were at least a few yards away from Tim’s door that Derek started to speak, his voice low and even. “You didn’t have to do that,” he said it almost apologetically as he tugged on Joey’s hand to pull her closer, his other arm threading its way around her waist. “The tickets, I mean, they’ll probably be a pain for you to get and I know you probably don’t want to sit through an entire basketball game just because your boyfriend was stupid enough to take in a ten year old kid.” He smiled a little as he said it, leaning down and stealing a soft kiss before she could respond. “Thank you, though.” He offered a bright smile, his eyes falling to the floor between them. “It means a lot to me that you even did it. ...I know that this is probably a lot, for you. Me taking care of Tim. It wasn’t planned, I would have-” he stopped, heat rising to his face. He would have what? “...talked to you about it first, if he had anywhere else to go. But he didn’t.” It was a bigger admission than he wanted to make, but it was true. He had finally gotten to the point where making life altering decisions included Joey, because she was now a permanent figure for him. One that lasted longer than a hell of a lot of others. “Do you really want to sit through a basketball game? I won’t be insulted if you tell him that you have to work.” Joey watched Derek with Tim in silence until, a few minutes later, when he finally stood and Joey took that as her cue to do the same, nodding her acknowledgement of his gesture to stay quiet as she laced her fingers through his and let him lead her out to the living room again. When he pulled her closer, Joey’s arms moved to circle up around his neck and she smiled against his kiss. “You’re welcome,” she replied, “and it really probably won’t be that hard. If I can’t get Lakers tickets via Dave, I know that Mox plays on the Hollywood Knights and I can definitely get tickets to that,” she promised. She went quiet again to let Derek continue and, yeah, it was kind of a lot for her to absorb that Derek was responsible for a little kid, now, and it cramped their style a little; there were adjustments to be made for both of them as much as there was for Tim. Her brow creased for a second in confusion when he stopped, and then her eyebrows arched a little with surprise. For Joey, Derek was a huge part of her life, too, of course, but she hadn’t really considered the aspect of discussing life decisions with him because she was still young and it just hadn’t occurred to her. Part of that was just her age in and of itself, but the larger part was that she hadn’t actually had any huge life decisions to make beyond the ones she’d made when applying to schools in Los Angeles before Derek had arrived. But Derek had just admitted that he would normally have discussed his decision to take Tim in with her if he’d had the time and it drove home to her, for the first time really, that she and Derek were a lot more serious than she had realized consciously before. Marriage, babies; they were secondary thoughts she didn’t draw upon very often, because her focus was so tunnel-visioned into Starfleet for the past five or six years — the last two of being bounced around interdimensionally and her entire high school career, that was — that even after she and Derek had become a couple, her brain hadn’t quite had the chance to wrap around the idea of a future beyond college, most especially a future with another person. She loved Derek more than she’d ever loved anyone before, she just hadn’t thought about what life after college would be like because she’d spent her entire life conditioning herself to believe that school was the most important thing. Maybe it wasn’t. “I could sit through a basketball game,” she admitted. “I might get kind of bored, but…” her voice trailed off a little and she smiled, shrugging. “I like spending time with you. Both. I like spending time with you both.” Joey lifted herself up onto her toes and pressed a soft, chaste kiss to his lips. “...you really would’ve talked that over with me? Tim, I mean?” She couldn’t help asking, because of the implication behind it that Derek may or may not have realized was hiding there. He smiled when she had purposefully tacked on that she liked spending time with both of them instead of just him, and Derek knew that she did it for his sake. She was doing all of this for him, something that no nineteen year old girl should really have to worry about, and that was something that Derek appreciated more than he could convey to her. His arms tightened around her waist to pull her close, chasing her little chaste kiss to catch her lips in another one, and at her question he looked almost guilty as he looked down again. He didn’t answer immediately because he knew that if he did, everything that he wanted to say would come out wrong, and yet he wasn’t really sure if he could ever say it exactly right without putting fear in her. But all he could do was be honest, so finally Derek nodded and dragged his gaze back up to meet her. “I really would have talked to you about it.” He agreed with a little nod, and he paused before slowly stepping away from her to take her hand and lead her back to the couch. It was a conversation that Derek felt wasn’t going to be brief, and it was one that was probably overdue, at least, to him. Perhaps he should have had it with her as soon as he got to New York, she had gone six months without him after all and he should have made sure that they were on the same page. But he was doing it now, and he was a lot more scared than he wanted to admit aloud. He took her hands as he sat with her, squeezing them both before giving her a hesitant stare. “I don’t want to make big decisions in my life without you,” he started slowly, stating what was, to him, obvious. “I don’t expect you to feel the same way, I know that you had to go six months without me and if that changed things for you then I understand. But you’re a part of my life. A big part, you and Laura are the most important things in the world to me. And Tim, now. Him, because I’m responsible for him and his well being, Laura because she’s my sister and I never thought I’d get her back. But you, because I love you.” He squeezed her hands before letting go of them, stretching his arm across the back of the couch. “I want to include you, because a decision like this effects both of us. It effects our relationship, and our relationship is one of the most important things I have. I never want to lose you because of something that I could have avoided if I just spoke to you about it first, baby. Tim was just different.” He gave a low sigh through his nose. “He’s got nobody. A kid that young shouldn’t have to be alone, you know? I couldn’t not take him in. He needs me.” Joey took a deep breath, letting Derek lead her back to the couch and sinking down onto it beside him. Now, perhaps, it was her turn to feel guilty, because she hadn’t tried to include Derek on any of the decisions she made. She’d given him no option for input when she’d decided to send back her paperwork and financial aid information to UCLA; she didn’t ask how he felt about her continuing to work so closely with Dave or keep her apartment in Los Angeles when he’d based himself, with Laura, in New York. Maybe, she realized, she should have. But this was all something that she hadn’t considered when she’d entered a serious relationship with an older man, because he was Derek and she’d had the impression that it was going to take him much longer to find himself at this point. Making all of these realizations about herself only made Joey actually register and then process just how selfish and self-absorbed she really was, sometimes. She wondered if Derek realized just what he was implying with the way he was positioning his response. It made her stomach tumble with pleasant nervousness. “I’m not upset you took him in, Derek...I hope you don’t think that I am or worry that I am,” she replied after a moment. “I think it was really selfless of you to take him in like that and you’re right, he needs you. And you’re too good a person not to step up when you’re needed and I love that about you, so much.” She paused then, giving his hands a squeeze. “I love you so much,” she said after another long moment, her eyes shifting up to meet his. “So much. And I don’t...I don’t even know...if I have the words for how much that means to me; that you want to include me in those kinds of decisions.” He tried not to look too relieved when she said that she wasn’t upset with him for taking Tim in, but he failed miserably. His shoulders slumped a little in relaxation and he let out an audible sigh, his eyes closing for half a second before opening once more to fill his vision with her. He had never really thought of himself as being selfless when he took Tim in, he just thought that it was the right thing to do, because who could have abandoned small boy in the middle of a big city with nothing and no one? “I wasn’t sure. I know that it’s a lot, Joey, I don’t want to downplay that. It’s a lot. And I know it’s a lot for you, too. ...For us. I know that it makes things more difficult.” He was still speaking somewhat apologetically despite the fact that she had said that she was fine with it, and he squeezed her hand in return when he felt her fingers tighten. “I love you too.” He responded with a small smile, and his eyes fell to the couch when she said that his decision to include her meant more to her than she could tell him. “It just comes naturally at this point,” he admitted, eyes lifting once more. “...This is the most serious relationship that I’ve ever been in, baby. I’m practically lost half the time when it comes to figuring out the right thing to do, sometimes I wonder if it’s too much to ask you to go to France with me, or for us to spend so much time sleeping in each other’s beds.” He hesitated, because he wasn’t ever going to tell her the next part, but it was true, he loved her. And he should be honest with her in where his head was at. “I was even thinking of maybe us getting an apartment together, a nice one. A part of me didn’t want to leave Laura, but I think that I’m alright now. I’m comfortable with the idea that she’s not going anywhere, and that she’s here for me. And I doubt that she wants to be living with her kid brother all the time.” He cracked a weak smile. “And I know that Tim changes all of that. I don’t expect you to make your decisions based off of me, Joey.” His tone took a more serious turn, “you have a lot more going on than I do. A job, your future, all of it. I want you to do what you feel is right, I don’t want you to feel obligated to include me in all of your future plans, but… you’re in mine.” He shrugged, as if in defeat. “I just have a hard time seeing myself anywhere without you in my life.” “It is,” she agreed with a nod. The idea that her boyfriend was responsible for the life and happiness and well-being of a child was a lot to take in and she wasn’t going to lie that it wasn’t. “It is a lot and...I’m still kind of processing it, I’m not gonna lie. But I don’t, like wish you hadn’t or resent you for it or anything, babe.” When Derek went on, he surprised Joey again with the fact that he’d thought about asking her to move in with him, in their own apartment. He was right; Tim did change things. If he’d asked her a week ago to move in with him, Joey would’ve done it in a heartbeat, because they practically already were living together with the amount of time they spent in one another’s beds at night. But with a child in the picture, it changed everything. It put an extra weight on their situation that neither of them — especially she — had been prepared for undertaking. He went on to say that he didn’t expect her to include him in all of her future plans but that he already saw her in his and Joey felt an ache in her heart wishing that Elsa was here for her to talk to about it later. Joey’s stomach tightened further at the implication she wasn’t sure Derek realized he was putting forth and she loved him, she really did, with all of herself...but she couldn’t help registering the terror creeping in when she worried that this was a conversation that was going to end in a question she was nowhere near ready to answer. When it didn’t come, she felt a wash of relief, but the panic didn’t completely leave her, because the conversation wasn’t over, yet. If Derek was going to be that honest and open with her, then Joey owed it to him to return the favor. “...I really wish that I thought I was ready for that,” she replied apologetically. “I mean, if it was just…” she paused, her expression tinted just slightly with shame for a flash of a second before the apology took over again, “...if it was just you, I would. I’d want to. Live with you, I mean, get a place that’s just ours. But yeah...Tim changes that. He doesn’t change everything, though, he doesn’t change how I feel about you. He doesn’t change that I want to be with you. I just...you know, that’s kind of scary for me, still, a little. Being in a relationship with somebody who kinda basically has a kid is one thing, but...I mean, you know?” she asked, looking back at him a little nervously, her lips pressing together for a moment before she continued, “...for now. But not...I mean, I’m not going to feel like that forever, I just have to, you know...get used to it, still. I’m getting there, baby, I promise I am, I really am, I’m just not there…yet.” The smell of fear radiating off of Joey wasn’t lost on Derek, and for a moment he would have sworn that his heart had stopped. Maybe he shouldn’t have told her that he was thinking about moving in with her before Tim arrived, because it seemed to put her in a panic, and Derek was suddenly terrified that he had pushed too far. But unexplainably the panic lessened a little in her, and that put Derek at ease. Barely. When she started to explain that, yes, Tim did change things, and she would have said yes, Derek was nodding, but when she started to explain herself in why she couldn’t live with him now, Derek had to use all of his strength to not interrupt her in the middle of her sentence. He waited for her to finish, his gaze softening, and when she finally said that she wasn’t ready yet Derek couldn’t stop himself from shifting closer to her on the couch and placing both of his hands on either side of her face. “Joey,” he spoke her name calmly, his eyes searching her face. “Joey, I know, baby. I would never, ever expect you to even come close to living with me when I have a kid to take care of. Honey, I don’t forget that you’re nineteen.” He tried to offer her a reassuring smile. “You have your whole life ahead of you, you have work, and school, and all of these things that you need to take care of. If you told me that you wanted to help me take care of Tim, move in and try this all out, we would have had a pretty serious fight because I sure as hell wouldn’t let you.” He shook his head, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “You’re not supposed to be ready. That’s not what I’m saying, what I’m saying is that, whatever decisions you make I want you to make them for you. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be here for as long as you want me, but I want you to live the life that you want without feeling like you need to run big decisions by me first.” He hesitated before sitting back a little once more, but his hand returned to hers to squeeze softly. “Honestly babe, the way you offered those tickets kind of shocked me. ...The fact that you stayed in the room shocked me, I don’t expect you to feel like you even have to get along with Tim, because he’s not your responsibility. He’s mine, and that’s why it means so much to me that you made the effort. Because I know that you didn’t have to. I know you’re not going to leave me, but I know that… this puts us in two different worlds.” He shifted a little, nervously this time. “I can’t just run off to France whenever I want to anymore, I can’t do all of the things that we usually do without planning it out first. I know that it’s a lot.” It was the first time that the difference in their age meant anything, and that worried Derek more than he thought it would. “...I just don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to do anything. ...And I don’t want you to get bored with me.” The words and expression that Derek meant to be reassuring actually only managed to trigger the first time Joey had ever actually worried that their age gap might drive a wedge between them. That he had to think about how young she was; that he felt he had to remind her that he hadn’t forgotten it, for the first time, Joey didn’t take that lightly nor was the significance lost on her. Their ages hadn’t ever mattered before. Not when they were friends, not when that friendship had slid into best friend territory and not when they’d crossed the line into a relationship. Suddenly, it seemed to have a spotlight shown on it and while Derek was worried that she was going to feel obligated or grow bored of him, Joey was afraid that her youth, finally, was going to frustrate him to the point that it might actually start to fracture the relationship they’d worked so hard to build. She tried not to register hurt that it had surprised Derek that she’d tried to include herself into this new part of his life, because she knew that he hadn’t meant it that way. Honestly, she’d surprised herself a little with it. “But he’s important to you and you’re important to me. ...so he’s going to be important to me, too,” she replied. Joey shook her head and closed her eyes in a slow blink. “I will never be bored with you, Derek. Nothing’s going to change the way I feel about you, not even the kid from Jurassic Park,” she said, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as she tried desperately to insert a little bit of levity into a terribly heavy conversation. “And yeah, I have my whole life ahead of me, but you say that like you don’t...and you do, Derek. We both do. I just...don’t want the fact that we’re walking on two different paths now to change the fact that we’ll meet at the fork in our roads. Because I want to be with you, Derek, I don’t want that to change. Ever.” “And it won’t change.” He reassured her, squeezing her hand once more. “I told you, Joey. As long as you’ll have me, I’ll be here. I’m never leaving, not unless you tell me that you want me to. I love you way too damn much to do that. ...And you’re not giving yourself a lot of credit.” He cracked a small smile. “You saying that, that you did it because he’s important to me, and I’m important to you… that’s amazing, Joey. Do you know how many women would have already walked out if the man that they were with suddenly had a kid to take care of out of nowhere? It just - you didn’t have to. No one would have blinked twice if you didn’t want to have anything to do with Tim, so maybe it’s a really obvious move for you, but for me it just… I don’t know.” He shrugged one shoulder, giving an embarrassed little laugh. “It made me feel important. Reassured that we can really handle anything that’s thrown at us. The kid from Jurassic Park would have probably scared a lot of other people off.” Derek squeezed her hand one last time before pulling, and he tugged Joey closer to him so he could wrap her up in his arm and pull her into his chest, kissing the top of her head. “I have my whole life ahead of me too, I know. That’s just why I’m kind of excited, because I see you in it. And that’s - ...I’ve never had that before with anyone. It’s a nice feeling.” He glanced down at her, leaning back against the couch and cracking a small smile. “You’ve been having a heart attack ever since this conversation started, are you alright?” When Derek pulled her into his arms, Joey melted into his hold just like she always did, tilting her head back so that she could look at him when he spoke again. Her smile almost hurt her face when he reiterated that he saw her in the future for himself. “You are important to me,” she pointed out. Her face went pink and her cheeks and ears warmed when he called her out, though, and Joey chewed her bottom lip. “Honestly?” she prefaced, figuring if any question was an open door for her to be honest with him and hope that it didn’t hurt his feelings or cut into his plans, while also hoping that if he was planning to ask that she could stop him before the question came for both of their benefits, then this was it. “First of all, I hate that you can hear that. ...and second, yeah, I’m okay. I just...for a minute there, I was...kind like... I don’t know, for a minute, I was like half-expecting a little black box to come out of your pocket and I love you, Derek, more than anything, but...I was not ready for that to happen. So...that’s why the mild heart attack. I’m really okay, though, I swear to God,” she promised, pressing her lips to the underside of his chin affectionately. He waited patiently as Joey started to explain herself, giving her an apologetic shrug that didn’t seem very apologetic when she said that she hated that he could hear her heartbeat, but when she finally admitted what she was afraid of Derek’s face paled a little as he tugged back just enough to look down at her and see her face completely. She had thought that he was going to- “You thought I was going to propose?” He sounded more disbelieving than frightened, but it was definitely close. “...No, honey. You know I love you,” he reiterated the last part quickly, solidifying it with a kiss to her head again, “but I don’t think either of us are ready for that, you don’t have to- no. Don’t worry.” He let a few seconds pass before he couldn’t stop himself from giving a little laugh. “Hi baby, I just started taking care of this ten year old, want to get hitched?” He couldn’t help but grin down at her before his face fell flat, staring at her solemnly. “Wait, are you saying that that’s the wrong time? Is there like, a two week rule of adopting a Jurassic Park kid before you can propose? I’m just trying to figure out the logistics here, baby. I mean, does the ring have to be a little piece of amber with a bug in it or... ?” Joey opened her mouth to respond when Derek went on and when he finished, she felt the wash of relief that, this time, really did overtake her panic entirely. ...and then he started teasing her and Joey punched him playfully in the chest. “Shut up,” she laughed. “I really was scared you were going to propose, come on and be fair, it sounded a little like it, the Tim stuff aside,” she pointed out. “Oh my God, stop it, I hate you,” she laughed when he continued with his teasing. “If you ever do propose...that ring better be compressed coal, I swear to God if you give me fossilized tree sap with a mosquito stuck in it, I’m breaking up with you,” she added playfully before leaning in to kiss him. “Come on, you shit, let’s go to bed. The adrenaline rush is waning and the relief is almost more exhausting than the panic was.” “What, diamonds? That’s still a thing that women like? I mean I was just thinking the tree sap ring. Or a mood ring, so I always know when you’re pissed at me,” He reflexively shielded himself with his arm just in case she went to playfully hit him again, grinning to himself in amusement before letting it come down and leaning in to steal a quick kiss. “Not proposing, baby. I want to keep you around, but no. Definitely not proposing.” He wrapped her up in his arms, pulling her close to him for one last kiss before standing and easily lifting her up with him. “I’m sorry if I scared you. That really wasn’t my intent, come on.” He set her down, taking her hand in his once more and bringing it to his lips so he could kiss her wrist. “I have to check on Tim one last time but then, just us and bed. I promise.” He started to lead her to the hall, poking his head into Tim’s room to see the boy still asleep before leading her to his own, and when he closed the door behind them he made sure to keep it unlocked just in case some little boy with a head full of monsters had another nightmare coming his way. “Smart ass,” she snapped, the tone of her voice sounding appropriately annoyed, but the amusement in her eyes giving it away. She let Derek lift her and smiled a little when he kissed her wrist after apologizing. Joey followed Derek down the hall a little ways so that he could check on Tim, before he led her to his bedroom and closed the door behind them. Joey took off her hoodie and jeans, leaving herself in her panties and a tank-top — more than she liked to wear to bed, to be sure, but enough to cover herself without too much effort if Tim came to get Derek after a nightmare later. Then, she climbed into bed and waited for Derek to join her before curling against his side. “I love you,” she whispered, kissing him softly. One thing that Derek had learned from their conversation was that Joey was grossly underestimating herself and her willingness to adapt. Not every woman would keep coming around after Derek did what he did. The small changes that she made, the way that she changed things from the way that she spoke when she came over to the way that she dressed in bed even when they were alone, those were the things that Derek had noticed and appreciated. And those were the reasons why he wasn’t afraid that Joey was going to disappear after Tim had entered Derek’s life; she loved him. When she said it, she meant it, and it was nice to know what that felt like for the first time. He tugged off his own shirt and kept his sleep pants on, climbing into bed beside her and automatically wrapping her in his arms to kiss her in return and pull her into his chest, a comfortable position that they had perfected in bed a long time ago. “I love you too.” He responded sincerely, his arm tightening around her. “...And thank you,” he added, his eyes closing as he held her securely. “For being understanding about Tim. It means more to me than I think you know.” The comfort she found in Derek’s arms was always unwavering. It was more casual, now that she’d readjusted to having it after going so long without it. She’d forced herself to move on, both times, in Scott’s wake, but when she’d lost Derek she just couldn’t. Joey often wondered if that spoke volumes louder than she realized about how she really felt about him. Closing her eyes and tucking her head under his chin the way that she knew he liked, Joey nodded just slightly against him. “I’m not going anywhere,” she reassured him before yawning. “I love you too much for a Jurassic Park kid to send me running.” And with that sentiment in just so many words out on the table, Joey snuggled herself against him and let herself drift off to sleep. |