Entry tags:

fic, harry/ron

Merry Smutmas, auntee_mame!

To: auntee_mame
From: kaalee

Title: Naughts and Crosses
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Ron/Harry
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all characters mentioned within are property of JK Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Ron determined to figure out who steals into his bed in the middle of the night and wakes him up with their tongue in his, er, well, you know...
Author's notes: Many thanks to my lovely betas for the help with this story. auntee_mame, I think the world of you and the idea of writing a story for you was simultaneously exhilarating and daunting. I went with a lighthearted feel to combat the stress of the holidays. I hope you enjoy. ♥

Naughts and Crosses

	Page 2 of 3 << [1] [2] [3] >>

(Post a new comment)

trubbleclef 2007-12-03 08:15 pm UTC (link)

"I could be, yeah. But that would get in the way." Fantastic line. Love that line. I want to have that whole exchange's babies. Dean snickers. "Your mum convinced him that Disneyworld is completely Muggle-built and run?" Ron nods. "Remind me not to believe everything your mum says." Completely brilliant. Reminds me of how Walt changed "fairies" to "pixies" for the Peter Pan movie. Weird much, Walt? "You want some tea?" Ron's parched again, and anytime someone is in his office for longer than four minutes, his mum's voice runs through his head, reminding him of his manners. "Mum Weasley again?" It's like a manners hex! "So?" Harry asks. "Naughts or crosses?" OMG, does that mean what I think it does. How naughty of you! I love you, whoever you are. Seriously. Watch out! Oh, god, there is sucking. You own my heart, do you know that? "Why are you so certain that the purveyor of your appetizing Auror arse is female?" As an auror, he should be a little more concerned about this incubus. He needs to check his wards. At this point I have to shut up and stop quoting you, because this will start to get really old. Plus, he's about ninety-eight percent certain that Dean could kick his arse anyway. Eternal devotion, blah blah blah, will you marry me, etc. "You know, I don't think the pills would make someone do something they wouldn't ordinarily want to do anyway." That's my brave Gryffindor! "Y'know," he says innocently, "I've always wondered if George had more than a passing interest in Lee Jordan." And some Glee! I'm exhausted. (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-13 03:39 pm UTC

	maple_mahogany 2007-12-03 08:16 pm UTC (link)
	Wonderful!!! I like Seamus in this. I like all the angry boy yelling and slamming against the walls - very good stuff! Appearances by all the Gryff boys is always a good thing. "Y'know," he says innocently, "I've always wondered if George had more than a passing interest in Lee Jordan." *gleeSQUEE* oh yay!!!! :D :D (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - coffee_n_cocoa, 2007-12-04 06:29 pm UTC

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-13 03:35 pm UTC

	erikdesoir 2007-12-03 08:45 pm UTC (link)
	*clears throat* I would just like to say that I worship your Seamus because he's everything a Seamus should be. (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-13 03:33 pm UTC

mrsquizzical 2007-12-03 08:58 pm UTC (link)

Ron doesn't say anything, just stays still as every blood cell in his body slows down, moves a quarter inch backward, then resumes its normal forward path. what a fabulous description! Plus, he's about ninety-eight percent certain that Dean could kick his arse anyway. hahahaha After seven full seconds of disjointed silence, Seamus smacks both of them on the head and then unlocks the door. "Don't be wagging your tongue, Potter," Seamus says. "We all know where it's been." oh seamus ROCKS! and neville is on the way? woot! "Well, just some sleeping pills that George gave me for the nightm-" oh harry will you never learn? very hot conclusion! yum with the wall and the slamming. and the 'concept' of naughts and crosses. sheesh. BOYS! lol. and yay for drive by GLEE at the end! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-13 03:33 pm UTC

	capitu 2007-12-03 09:21 pm UTC (link)
	That was bloody fantastic!!!!! I loved Seamus! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-13 03:28 pm UTC

	mairi 2007-12-03 09:28 pm UTC (link)
	This was fantastically done! I'm not a big Harry/Ron fan, but this one was well worth my time! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-13 03:27 pm UTC

	alisanne 2007-12-03 09:35 pm UTC (link)
	Bwahahahahaha! This was great. Ron's inner thoughts are hilarious, Seamus has the most awesome and witty lines, and may I say I adored your quiet, oh so competent Neville? Harry as confuzzled was sweet. All in all a great fic! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-13 03:27 pm UTC

	heenabeene 2007-12-03 10:36 pm UTC (link)
	I was shaking my head at the typical Ron-ness of waiting for the "arse-fairy" to visit three times before finding out who it was. "Don't be wagging your tongue, Potter," Seamus says. "We all know where it's been." This made me laugh embarassingly loud. (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-13 03:26 pm UTC

	damn_imasquib 2007-12-03 11:29 pm UTC (link)
	I am also not a Harry/Ron person, but after the summary, I had to read it. I absolutely loved it. Seamus, Neville, Ron, Harry. They were all fabulous! Great plot, great humor, great fic! Melissa (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-13 03:25 pm UTC

	snarry_fan7 2007-12-04 01:13 am UTC (link)
	Most wonderful! Seamus is great and I too love the dialogue. Excellent work!~Sophia (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-13 03:25 pm UTC

abigail89 2007-12-04 01:52 am UTC (link)

"Christ, lads, would'ja listen to you. The whole Ministry's about heard it by now and still you're both prattlin' on like a couple of schoolgirls." He looks at them. "Ron. You want Harry to admit that he's been shoving his tongue down your rabbit hole every few nights, aye?" "Yes. And that he-" "Back off, Weasley. I'm the adult right now." Ron scowls and nods. "Fine." "And, Harry. You want Ron to believe that as tempting as his arse is, you have no memory of any tongue-spelunking into his nether-bits." "Exactly." Seamus rolls his eyes. "Did it ever occur to the pair of you that we're all wizards? That there might be something going on here that's, I dunno, magical?" This exchange? So Full of WIN!! I'm breathless! This was so much fun to read. Seamus rocks my world at this moment. And Harry/Ron--such a devious way to get them together. Think they'll thank George?? Well done! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-13 03:25 pm UTC

	themostepotente 2007-12-04 03:18 am UTC (link)
	I wasn't sure if I was going to like this or not, because Seamus is not a character I readily care much about, but oh, the funny! Nice job! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-07 02:37 am UTC

	gibson 2007-12-04 04:30 am UTC (link)
	Lovely Job! ;) I loved Seamus, the use of the naughts and crosses and fact that Harry acknowledges that he *wants* to stick his tongue in Ron's arse, even if he didn't know that he was doing it :). Nice work all around! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-07 02:38 am UTC

secretsolitaire 2007-12-04 04:58 am UTC (link)

Oh man, now that's a great first line! :-D And really, the whole premise is fabulous. "If you'd get your head out of your arse, then maybe you'd be able to see!" Harry yells. "Well, maybe if there wasn't always a tongue in there, I'd be able to fit my head," Ron shouts back. I totally LOL'd there. "Y'know," he says innocently, "I've always wondered if George had more than a passing interest in Lee Jordan." HE TOTALLY DOES. At least in my mind. ;-) (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-07 02:39 am UTC

	mcmuffins_js 2007-12-04 06:16 am UTC (link)
	holy hell! I love Christmas :) so, so so funny! Love Seamus in here, especially :) (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-06 10:21 pm UTC

	letmypidgeonsgo 2007-12-04 06:26 am UTC (link)
	gah that was so good! love it!! (sorry, i can't really come up with any kind of coherent thoughts right now!) (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-06 10:21 pm UTC

	shes_gone 2007-12-04 07:06 am UTC (link)
	I love love love this. Funny and adorable and hot and wonderful. (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-06 10:20 pm UTC

	cork 2007-12-04 08:15 am UTC (link)
	GAHHH, I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. So gorgeous and hot and funny. Eee! And the frotting, oh, it has me speechless. :x (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-06 10:20 pm UTC

vissy 2007-12-04 10:28 am UTC (link)

Not my pairing ordinarily, but the rimming and the frotting just *works*. And (needless to say) Seamus wins at life: "Ron. You want Harry to admit that he's been shoving his tongue down your rabbit hole every few nights, aye?" ... "And, Harry. You want Ron to believe that as tempting as his arse is, you have no memory of any tongue-spelunking into his nether-bits." ... "Don't be wagging your tongue, Potter," Seamus says. "We all know where it's been." &hearts (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-06 10:19 pm UTC

	jenadamson 2007-12-04 10:49 am UTC (link)
	Oh, this is hilarious, and I like how dialogue driven the story was. I especially loved the inclusion of Seamus! Very funny stuff. (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-06 10:18 pm UTC

	coffee_n_cocoa 2007-12-04 06:32 pm UTC (link)
	I loved Seamus in this story; his lines were hysterical! Everyone else above has already quoted them, so you know which ones I'm referring to. The wall!sex at the end was guh-worthy, and the last line was fantastic! Also? Arse-fairy FTW. The term definintely needs to be used more often! What a lovely gift for auntee_mame! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-06 10:18 pm UTC

amanuensis1 2007-12-04 06:39 pm UTC (link)

This was SO good. I loved the spare style, the humor of it, the way the reader's allowed to make her own mental jumps as to what's just been implied. Seamus cracked me up; I could really see Harry and Ron both developing in people just like this. And Ron's hapless "you shouldn't tell me you fancy me like this, it's just not on" revelation. Such an "awww" moment! I really did like the chapter-ends best of all, the way they hang and let the reader have her moment of "aha!" or humor or whatever you intended she should have. Fantastic! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-06 10:16 pm UTC

	r_grayjoy 2007-12-04 07:10 pm UTC (link)
	::sporfle:: Oh my. I love the fact that the males in this fic are utterly a pack of males -- with Seamus being the most crude of the lot. Your Seamus for the win. Also, it's good to see George still being George after DH. Nice. So many good lines in this, hee! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-06 08:36 pm UTC

	painless_j 2007-12-04 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	It was funny and lovely and hot! Thank you! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-06 08:18 pm UTC

	gatewaygirl 2007-12-05 03:12 am UTC (link)
	Ron doesn't bother to try for the door because Seamus uses an Irish spell. Almost no one at the Ministry can even pronounce them anyway, so it's a lost cause. They're stuck here. I so loved this! Marvelous story, hot and funny in all the right ways. And I love your Seamus! (Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - kaalee, 2008-01-06 08:37 pm UTC

(no subject) - gatewaygirl, 2008-01-07 05:23 am UTC

---

	Page 2 of 3 << [1] [2] [3] >>