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Tweak says, "I am the chosen OOOOOOONE!!"

atdelphi (atdelphi) wrote in hp_beholder,
@ 2014-05-13 15:31:00

Entry tags:

aberforth dumbledore, aberforth dumbledore/severus snape, beholder 2014, fic, rated:pg-13, severus snape, slash

FIC: "Elegy for a Goat" for pauraque
Recipient: pauraque
Author/Artist: ???
Title: Elegy for a Goat
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Severus/Aberforth, background hint of Aberforth/Albus
Word Count: 17,460
Medium: Fic
Warnings/Content Information (Highlight to View): None.
Summary: Ab has never been fond of his brother's protégés, but he's always had a weakness for goats. He's not sure what to make of Severus Snape.
Author's/Artist's Notes: Thanks beyond measure to Delphi, who is the most encouraging and kindest of mods and has more patience than a thousand saints put together.

Elegy for a Goat

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	aunty_marion 2014-05-14 12:44 pm UTC (link)
	Wonderful! Makes one see the whole Aberforth-Albus-Severus triangle in a whole new light, as it becomes a triangle after for so long looking like just Albus-Severus. I do like Aberforth's little bindweed halters - I wonder, were those the 'inappropriate charms'? (Reply to this) (Thread)

perverse_idyll
2014-05-23 05:52 am UTC (link)

(shedding my sock here) I'm so glad you liked it! I've been fascinated by the complexity of the Albus-Severus and Albus-Aberforth relationships for a long time, and I always enjoy poking at the possibilities. It seemed to me quite plausible that Aberforth and Severus would hit it off, if not for this little problem of Albus between them. Although the little problem is what would most likely bring them together in the first place.

Ah, the bindweed halters. I suspect Severus wished Ab had been a little more inappropriate than he actually was!

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	gingertart50 2014-05-14 01:05 pm UTC (link)
	Stunning! What a wonderful fic, beautifully written. I loved this, loved the descriptions, the earthiness of Ab, how Snape grew and developed depth and subtlety, the relationships and the emotions. Brilliant work! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	perverse_idyll 2014-05-23 05:57 am UTC (link)
	Wow, thank you! This is really delightful to hear, especially since I rushed through the last part and fear it turned out a bit rough. Your comment made me extremely happy and was a relief to boot. (formerly evensong) (Reply to this) (Parent)

pauraque
2014-05-14 04:32 pm UTC (link)

Holy..! This is tremendous. Thank you so much for writing this for me.

Your writing style is so striking that I feel like I should know who you are, but somehow I can't put my finger on it. Your words have such precision and delicate detail. It reminds me of Durer's engravings, the ones where you find yourself looking really closely because you just can't believe how many tiny little lines there are.

Your Aberforth is so rich and fully realized, it's a pleasure being in his head. Just everything about him -- his roughness, but also his wit and his particularness about calling things by the right name. He's analytical and likes to see things square-on. I love the connection he has with his animals, more matter-of-fact than affectionate, but he understands them and respects them for what they are. The analogy you've drawn between that and his feelings about Severus is inspired.

I love what you did with the Albus/Aberforth relationship. I think it's perfect for them, that there was something there, but nothing that could be quite pinned down and labeled. That's exactly how I see them.

The story flows wonderfully, with the gradual increase in tension paralleling Voldemort's rise. I absolutely love the messiness of Aberforth and Severus's relationship, fraught with so many misunderstandings, and things that perhaps can't ever be fully understood. Ab is a sharp observer of Severus as he changes over the years, yet the barriers between them are constantly reinforced by things in the world that neither of them can control -- most of all, by Albus.

The cathartic moment when Severus literally bares himself to Aberforth is daringly theatrical, and it *works*. I hope this isn't going too far, but it's actually a little Shakespearean in my opinion. It's the sort of scene he'd write. Very symbolic and mythic-feeling, underpinned by a deeply complicated relationship between the characters. Severus's story, too, has a feel of classical tragedy to it, as he drives inevitably towards what we know will be his death. I love that his eyes are open to that, that he sees it coming and he's *angry* about it, but his fate, as he sees it, is already written.

I really want to thank you for writing something so thoughtfully tailored to the most important of my likes, which isn't a character or a pairing or a kink, but a *story* with all the complexity and uncertainty and fear and hope of real people's minds and hearts. Not every writer can pull that off, but it's what I'm hoping for every time I read a fic, and I got it here.

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perverse_idyll
2014-05-23 07:24 am UTC (link)

I practically punched the air in delight when I saw this comment. Our long-suffering and supportive mod will attest to the fact that I fretted over getting this right because I have such a high regard for your work. I'm so relieved that the details are persuasive and the complexity true to the characters. Above all things, I like exploring thorny relationships, and you can't get much thornier than the ones between the brothers Dumbledore or between Albus and his reformed Death Eater. The crosscurrents of love and betrayal, admiration and subservience carry all of them inescapably forward, and I think Severus especially is more overrun by Albus' past choices and unfinished business than he ever realizes, considering he has his own guilt to sweep him downstream. (By the way, Albus was meant at first to be an onstage character throughout the story, but Aberforth was having none of it. He's better at dealing with Albus from a distance, and in this case so was I.)

You've caught everything I hoped would shine through, and it's such a pleasure knowing you enjoyed my interpretation of Ab's character. He's so distinct from Albus, but I wanted him to have a Dumbledore-ish quality nonetheless. The old scar they share between them is never going to fade, which makes the two of them in their old age rather poignant. No final reconciliations.

You've also laid my mind to rest about that scene with Severus. I knew I wanted it in the fic, and I was building toward it quite consciously, but for various reasons this was a very difficult story for me to write and the last third suffers from a full-scale last-minute gallop. I was worried that I hadn't prepared the moment properly and that it would fail to connect with readers, or would seem overblown. Thank you for singling it out so I can stop fussing over it. I also wanted to be clear that Severus wasn't actually eager to die, as he'd been after Lily's death, but that he feels he has no choice. I think that knowledge heightens the tragedy, because it means he's not even allowed to hope and must face death fully aware of the waste of everything he might have been or done. He has, in essence, destroyed himself, and there's really no getting around it. And the fact that you compared Severus' physical revelation to a Shakespearean effect absolutely bowls me over. There is no higher praise.

This is everything I could have wished to hear while working on the story. I'm so glad it appealed to your love of complicated, imperfect characters, because I love them, too, and they kept me company for weeks while I figured out how to coax them toward the ending. Thank you so much. I'm overjoyed by your response.

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	perverse_idyll 2014-05-23 07:27 am UTC (link)
	I should add, although it's obvious by now - yes, evensong14 was a sock. embarrassed (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pauraque
2014-05-23 01:38 pm UTC (link)

Oh! You fooled me. It all makes sense now. I felt a little silly having said the writing seemed familiar and then "finding out" it was someone I'd never heard of! *g*

I hesitated to bring up Shakespeare because I didn't want to make it seem like I was going overboard with praise, but the fact is that there are many masterful writers who are totally *unlike* Shakespeare and I'd never compare them, but I think your way of storytelling is actually similar. It has that theatrical sweep of inevitable tragedy and classically-inspired build and flow of energy -- cathexis/catharsis.

Thank you again.

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teddy_radiator
2014-05-16 01:48 am UTC (link)

Oh, God. This was more beautiful than I can ever say. This particular pairing has become a favourite, but what you've done is write a masterpiece for them. I can't even think straight; I'm in the presence of a master storyteller.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful work with us. It will stay with me for a long, long time. The beauty and eloquence of this story will remain in my heart forever.

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perverse_idyll
2014-05-28 06:29 am UTC (link)

Oh, Teddy, your comment completely bowled me over, and it still makes me blush when I read it. This story shape-shifted more than once during the writing and suffered a certain amount of triage near the end, not due so much to the story itself as to the difficult and exhausting period of my life. I had serious doubts that the fic had lived up to the characters and what I wanted to say about them, especially because I knew I'd rushed the ending. I was so, so grateful for your heartfelt appreciation, because it meant I'd done Aberforth and Severus justice.

Also, thank you for finding it beautiful. It's been two years since I last finished a story, and your response to this means a lot to me.

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wwmrsweasleydo
2014-05-16 04:25 pm UTC (link)

What a fantastic story! Beautiful writing absolutely full of gems like: folks were merely ghosts who hadn't died yet. Great characterisation.I loved the interaction between Ab and his goats as much I loved that between him and Snape. Talk about an unreliable narrator making wrong assumptions! What a missed opportunity as a result. I'm furious at the bastard DEs for losing Ab his goats. And at Albus fucking Percival fucking Brian fucking etc for just about everything else!

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perverse_idyll
2014-05-28 07:00 am UTC (link)

Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I've written Snape many times before, but I've never tried tackling Aberforth, and he was a pleasure to puzzle out.

This fic is all about missed opportunities, but considering that neither of them sees the whole picture - and that the shadow of Albus in the background keeps falling between them - it would be asking a lot for Severus and Aberforth to trust each other. And in the end, of course, circumstances conspire against them.

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kelly_chambliss
2014-05-18 05:50 pm UTC (link)

I don't have the superlatives for this fic; I only wish I did -- I wish I could write a comment good enough to serve as a tiny payment for the splendor of your writing and your understanding of human character. I've probably read a thousand HP fics, and this one is one of the very, very best. It's theatrical and extreme in the best of ways, and moving beyond words, and funny ("showed him naked Albus again," hahaha), and searingly painful.

In canon, Aberforth may pass as only a goat-herding barkeep, but here you've shown the man for the poet he is (the others are sidelines). I knew from the second I read that audacious and wonderful sun/eggyolk metaphor that I was going to find language that would play like a symphony, with all the soaring strings and soul-tearing clarinet riffs and pounding tympani and haunting whispered flute that I could want.

I keep thinking of bindweed and how you entwine it throughout the story as an effective symbol of the insidious and complex ties of human love and relationships, alternately gentle and fierce and totally inescapable unless one burns it wholly, and even then, the ash remains, and there's no escape, which is fine, because not even the Aberforths and the Snapes of the world actually want to slip that halter completely.

I want to write at least 1000 words in reply here, quoting lines and savoring metaphors and squeeing over the many details and bits of genius that have made such a powerful impression on me, but reveals would happen before I could finish saying all that I'd like. So I'll stop here and merely say that this story has seriously blown me away, and I can't thank you enough.

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perverse_idyll
2014-05-31 01:40 am UTC (link)

I've tried to figure out exactly what to say in response to your comment, Kelly, because it's so very moving and delightful - the sort of unexpected pleasure that makes staying up all night cudgeling one's brains and hammering the keyboard entirely worth the effort. Partly it's because I'm thrilled to have written something you enjoyed so much, because you're one of those writers I envy like mad and whose stories never fail to touch me in that twofold realm of reader/writer. (It might amuse you to know, since I saw your rec where you said you wished you could write like this, that during my long writer's block I quite consciously wished I could write like you, because of your confident grasp of the material, your ability to write comedy and tragedy, your mastery of multiple voices, and your love of language. So it goes both ways!)

I was also tickled that you singled out the egg yolk metaphor, because it came within an inch of being cut. I worried it was too much of a muchness, but in the end I left it alone because I'm self-indulgent like that. Besides, I needed to set the tone and open up Aberforth's voice to make it plausible that he'd perceive his surroundings with that kind of lyricism.

Also, I'm glad the bindweed worked. It popped in at the beginning, one of those accidental gifts, and proceeded to suggest all sorts of parallels throughout the fic. I didn't quite tie it together (ahem) the way I'd hoped - during the headlong race for the finish line I was working off a set of notes, and I completely skipped a moment I'd planned to put at the end, referring back to Snape burning the bindweed entwining his bare hand. A minor loss, though, if my intentions still came through.

Your enthusiasm and generosity completely astonished me and gave me so much joy, since I wrote this while lost in a fog of emotional distraction and thus had no idea whether I'd made a hash of the fic or if it was even coherent. Your feedback had me walking on air. Thank you so much for the unlooked-for gift and for your eloquence.

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	alisanne 2014-05-18 10:36 pm UTC (link)
	Wow. I read this last night and I still can't think of words to express how impressed I am with this. The story was far from pretty, but it was very real and tragic and thought provoking. Fabulous work! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	perverse_idyll 2014-05-28 07:04 am UTC (link)
	Thank you so much for this lovely comment! It was hard following canon's timeline and knowing there was no way out, but I got some comfort from the fact that Snape occasionally found refuge and a sympathetic presence in Aberforth. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	stuttermoan.livejournal.com 2014-05-19 07:01 am UTC (link)
	This is so beautiful and intense and funny and sad. The Dumbledores' family dynamic is so interesting, each brother limited in his own way, and poor Snape, getting triangulated into the relationship between the two of them. This fic is pitch perfect. Seriously, it hurt my feelings with its awesomeness. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	perverse_idyll 2014-05-28 07:28 am UTC (link)
	Your comment absolutely made my heart leap up. This is everything I wanted to put into the story, and I'm humbled and delighted you enjoyed it so much. Thank you for reading it and for sharing your reactions. It helped reassure me that I hadn't made a mess of the fic. :) (Reply to this) (Parent)