"You're telling me," Kakashi said after a beat, one-eyed gaze drifting from Kuromaru's blood-drenched jaws to the half-eaten rodent corpse abandoned by the doorway. He lifted an eyebrow, tugging down the shirt he'd only partway taken off. He'd been planning to have a shower, but the sudden copper-metal scent of non-human blood in the air had called his attention before he'd even kicked his shoes off.

Thoughtfully, he regarded Tsume's wolfhound. Pink scars, empty eyesocket, a scent that was both highly pleased with itself and fading into caution, rangy limbs beneath black fur that had yet to regain their sleek, dangerous muscle--Kuromaru still looked a thousand times better than the last time Kakashi had seen him.

He smiled slightly behind his mask. It wasn't often that a rescue worked out so well.

"If you're trying to bring Tsume a present, you're in the wrong showers." One shoulder lifted in a casual shrug. "Unless she's finally decided to give up being a girl altogether. Which is not entirely unlikely."

Kuromaru tried to puzzle out why Kakashi would think that, then finally shrugged it off as one of those crazy human things. "I was gonna bring Asuma a present. He's allergic to meat, you know. But then I smelled Ryouma." He pricked his ear, standing up and getting as close to Kakashi as was polite. Then he stretched a tiiiiny bit closer to sniff. Yup. Old sex and Ryouma. He glanced up. "I guess I don't have to worry that Ryouma wants all the girls now, after all." His tail drifted back and forth lazily. "Think he's gonna keep mounting you? 'Cause that would be easier."

Then his tail drooped slowly toward the floor, as an unhappy thought occurred to him. "But... then we won't have any puppies. That would be sad." He gave Kakashi his very best pathetic look and sat back down.

In the echoing silence that followed, the hamster's blood dripped slowly onto the wet tile floor.

"Mounting me?" Kakashi managed finally, banishing the mental image of Ryouma-and-Kuromaru spawn. He wasn't entirely successful. "Ryouma's not--"

He derailed his brain from traditional pathways of thought. Ryouma's scent was still on him, along with the lingering fission of very good sex (he'd been home just over a day, but most of that had been spent very firmly in bed; and maybe he'd been letting Ryouma's scent hang around on purpose, but that was no one's business but his own) and that was all a dog needed. Specific mechanics didn't matter to a mind that thought in black and white.

Though why Kuromaru thought Ryouma was doing the mounting--

Or why he was worried that Ryouma would want all the girls--

Or, even weirder, disappointed that Ryouma wouldn't be fathering offspring...

Kakashi's eyebrows arched right up to his hairline.

"Kuromaru, who's your alpha?"

Kuromaru's tail swished along the floor. "Ryouma," he said happily. "Same as yours!" Then he bounced to his feet, excited to have a real pack member--not just one that lived in the building, that was his responsibility, but one that Ryouma had chosen. That meant Kakashi was practically family, and if the alpha was mounting him then he got all the respect the alpha's mate deserved. And since Tsume was the alpha, and Kuromaru was her partner, he got all the respect the alpha's partner deserved, too! He and Kakashi were practically mates. Or something. It was a little confusing, since the humans had mucked up the pack heirarchy, but he was very firm about the idea that Kakashi was now an important person, and Kuromaru was an important person, and therefore, Kuromaru could show Kakashi his newest acquisition.

"Stay here!" he yipped, and wheeled to go tearing out of the bathroom, leaping over the hamster and racing down the hall. It took no time at all to find his brand new eyepatch and snatch it up, carrying it back with his head held high. "Look," he said around the mouthful of cloth, "at what I have." He pranced back and forth proudly, finally spitting it out on the floor.

He wagged again, puffed up his chest, and turned his head to watch Kakashi's expression out of his good eye.

Ryouma. Well, that figured. Kakashi's eye lingered on the granulating pink flesh of still-healing scars for a moment, following the web-work they made over naked skin, before he looked down at Kuromaru's dropped scrap of fabric. It was an eyepatch. Plain black, entirely unremarkable, decorated only with a band of slim elastic to hold it in place. He had a few himself.

He didn't recall ever celebrating over one.

Kuromaru's haunches shimmied as his tail swept the floor again. One gold eye gleamed, fixed on Kakashi's face. Black fur crested like a shadowy halo. He smelled like a fireworks display, electric with excitement.

Adorable to the average civilian, provided they liked ginormous, battle-scarred dogs. Less so to a man with no plans to be a middle-ranker in someone else's pack.

Kakashi debated his options. Without Ryouma around to actually prove who was in charge, he could either dominate Kuromaru--which didn't really prove anything, beyond the fact that he could dominate Kuromaru--or ignore the wolfhound entirely. Both would technically put him in charge--betas came to alphas; alphas didn't cowtow to betas--but only of Kuromaru. And only when Kuromaru was around him and not Ryouma. And only so long as Kakashi was prepared to defend his place.

Which, granted, was pretty much forever. But that was a lot of effort to gain a lot of nothing.

The other option was to put up with Kuromaru's continued, eccentric attention for the foreseeable future.

He exhaled, straightened his shoulders, gathered his chakra like an ice-calm cloak, and stepped forward. Into Kuromaru's personal space and over his eyepatch, claiming the bizarre little trophy. He tipped his head down to find a level of eye-contact that dismissed without aggressively challenging; decent alphas didn't need to fight.

"I'm taking a shower," he said. "The eyepatch is lovely. You can get it back when I'm done."

Kuromaru knew a dismissal when he saw one. He'd spent years climbing through the ranks of Inuzuka right along with Tsume, and knew how to angle for position without actually challenging. Knew what it looked like when two males sniffed around, leaning into each other, pushing subtly to see which would give first.

It looked a lot like this.

Fighting outright would probably annoy the alphas, but that didn't mean Kuromaru had to stand for a usurper, either. He dog-smiled and shifted, scooting closer to Kakashi's legs before plopping his butt back down--against the other man's shins. If he leaned, he could push the ninja right off balance. "That's mine." A paw landed casually between Kakashi's feet, right on top of Kuromaru's eyepatch. "But I can get you one of your own. In fact, I bet Ryouma would get you one if you asked." With a deep, relaxed sigh, as if nothing in the world were wrong, he slid down to lay across Kakashi's feet. Not that it would stop any ninja--or even any halfway coordinated civilian--from moving, but the point was that he'd have to move.

And Kuromaru wouldn't. Unless Kakashi really wanted to start a fight. Kuromaru flicked his ear back, unimpressed, and waited.

True alphas weren't rare--maybe one in ten for average dogs; one in twenty for Inuzukas, with their careful breeding arrangements--but they were their own special brand of irritating. Kakashi kept the emotion buried, crushed deep where it wouldn't weaken his scent, and flicked unruffled chakra down through his legs and feet, winding energy into muscle and bone. Kuromaru hadn't shoved yet, but he would. One step back was all it took to lose.

"I don't need you--or Ryouma--to get me anything," he said. "I look after myself."

A part of which was making sure he never went unarmed. One hip-pouch still hung from his belt; he slipped a hand into it, watching Kuromaro watch him, and touched a coil of wire. It slid around his fingers. He didn't plan to injure Kuromaru, but he didn't intend to let a dog that outweighed him by forty pounds get the upper hand, either.

Strength was Kuromaru's advantage; speed was Kakashi's. He snapped chakra through thin steel, cast a loop neatly around Kuromaru's scarred muzzle as the dog's head twisted up, and locked the muzzle in place with a jutsu that twisted the remaining wire coils firmly around Kuromaru's throat. His knee thumped solidly into the heavy ribcage at the same time, reinforced by chakra, forcing the startled animal to move.

It wasn't really the knee that made Kuromaru move--his fur absorbed a surprising amount of thumping before he truly noticed it, and he could determinedly not notice a great deal more thumping after that. It was the wire around his face that made him shoot up to his feet, clawing at his scars to get it off. Blunt nails tried to hook through flesh and under metal, scratching open uneven scars--

Something hit his flank hard enough to break his moment of panic. His ear flattened unhappily against his skull, and he glared at Kakashi balefully out of one eye.

This was why it didn't pay to do anything but a full out challenge with a human. They used dirty tricks and then acted like they'd won.

Even Kuromaru couldn't talk with his muzzle wired shut, so he kept glaring at Kakashi, disappointment in the whole human race heavy in his eye and resting entirely on the copy ninja's slim shoulders.

Kakashi stared right back, grey meeting gold flatly, without an inch of guilt. If Kuromaru thought he could win remorse with just a look, he needed to try it on someone who hadn't committed Kakashi's sins. Injuring a stubborn familar's pride barely ranked.

Scars glowed livid pink where frantic claws had raked them. Kuromaru kept his head tilted slightly to the side, making sure to keep Kakashi squarely in his limited field of vision.

That was a hell of an obvious weakness. He wondered, briefly, what Tsume planned to do about it. Then swept the thought aside to deal with instinct alone.

He stepped forward, on Kuromaru's blind side.

"Back off."

Kuromaru took several steps to one side, bringing Kakashi back into range. Then he answered Kakashi's demand with one of his own: a low, angry growl.

"What are you doing?"

His head lifted and snapped around, staring at his hamster--and the woman stepping gingerly over it.

"Kuromaru, I can smell the blood from this clear down in the cafeteria." Tsume's eyes flicked from Kuromaru to Kakashi and back again, brows drawing down. "What's going on?"

Kuromaru glared mightily at Kakashi, lowering head and tail both in disapproval and vague threat. Now Kakashi was busted. One of the alphas was here, and Kuromaru was in both the alpha's favor.

Tsume's voice cut incredulously across the showers, ringing from one end to the other as she walked farther into the room. "Is his mouth wired closed?"

"Jutsu'd, technically," Kakashi drawled, swinging his head up to regard the latest obstacle between him and a future containing five blissful minutes in a warm shower. Tsume's eyebrows snapped together with an almost audible click. Kakashi dismissed Kuromaru entirely, focusing on the next rung up on an increasingly annoying ladder.

Your average shinobi didn't pick alpha fights with other shinobi. Fights, maybe, establishing a different kind of hierarchy. Where pride was the prize, not pack and safety and a life lived unmolested.

Inuzuka were not your average shinobi. Neither was Kakashi. And he was about ready to grab Tsume and Ryouma both and initiate videotaped throw-down if he had to. They both bore his bite-mark on their throats, admittedly for entirely different reasons. He'd saved their lives, brought them home, guarded them for a week--

And been guarded.

And none of this really related to the wire around Kuromaru's jaws, beyond the fact that he was irritated.

"We were having a philosophical debate," he said shortly, which was the adult version of the genin's post-fight excuse, I fell down. "Do I need to remove both of you just to shower in peace?"

Tsume lifted one eyebrow, and looked back at her muzzled canine. "I'd love to let you shower in peace. Mind releasing that jutsu first? And then we'll leave you to washing off grime and musk, happily." She paused, hearing her own words.

Musk? Inhaling softly, she caught it again, even under the heavy smell of hamster blood. There wasn't any point in pretending she hadn't smelled it, not after what she'd said. Besides, it wasn't like the two men hadn't had sex before. Her gaze flicked away, studying the remote corners of the ceiling. "You both got back safe?"

Not that she really needed to hear it. She didn't. She could check at the front desk and make sure Ryouma was in his room, rather than in the hospital. Blowflies, she could go knock on his bear stung door and see him for herself.

She wasn't sure she wanted to. Something burned hot and sharp in her chest. It was good that Ryouma and Kakashi were--whatever they were. It meant Ryouma would stop looking to her for anything other than... than whatever they were. She still didn't look at Kakashi.

"In one piece." Kakashi's eyebrows climbed back up to his hairline, which seemed to be a common feature of life around Inuzuka and their familiars. Along with general commentary about his sex life.

Tsume's pale blue eyes fixed on the middle distance between the wall and nowhere. Even through running water, rodent blood, and the heavy wildness of Kuromaru, he caught the sour edge of her scent as it nosedived straight into...

He frowned and stepped forwards, echoing her soft inhale. Kuromaru's golden gaze snapped to him, and then back, eyeing Tsume uncertainly. Tension, something like anger that wasn't, the shifting edge of smoke before a fire--

Jealousy.

Kakashi wasn't sure what surprised him more; that Tsume mirrored Ryouma's crush but had never spoken up (that Kakashi knew of), or the instinctive lip that curled away from his own teeth, baring sharp white behind masked black. Something ancient and primal uncurled and stretched inside, clawing at his ribs, and snarled mine. He shoved his hands into his pockets before they could clench.

Tsume was probably better for Ryouma.

Kakashi didn't plan to step aside.

Tsume didn't miss his inhale, nor the step closer to her personal space. The telltale spike of adrenaline that peaked his scent for a moment was practically a clarion call. She caught his gaze and refused to look away. "Relax, pup." The words were a lazy drawl. "I'm not out to steal your mate." Her lips twisted wryly and she spoke, feeling like she was swallowing glass. "I don't want him. I'm glad you're enjoying each other."

She was. It was good for them both. She didn't want the attention. She didn't want Ryouma to want her like that. Buddies. That's all she'd ever wanted, just casual friendship.

She didn't care if Kakashi had something she never would. It was her choice. She'd chosen. This was better.

Something in her chest twisted. Anger, that had to be it. Anger that her familiar's muzzle was wired shut. She gestured sharply. "Mind getting that off?"

Kuromaru whined, looking upset. Tsume crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.

Kakashi's eyes--hidden crimson and visible grey, both--narrowed sharply. "You realize I can smell you lying, right?" he said, stretching the words into a parody of Tsume's drawl. His own drawl. Fingers flicked in and out of his pockets, dancing with a shatter of chakra; the wire around Kuromaru's muzzle glimmered with flecks of light, and snapped off.

Metal pinged on tile. Kuromaru's jaws gaped for a moment, muscles bunching at the hinges, then he lowered his head and rubbed his muzzle against his forelegs. Blood rushed back into wire-grooved white lines, flushing them scar-pink.

Tsume was still glaring at her familiar, mouth set like a knife slash. Kakashi crushed the word mate out of his head.

Glad you're enjoying each other.

And that, too. It went to a dangerous place he wasn't ready to think about yet, even with Ryouma's fingerprint bruises still on his hips. His stormy-sunshine scent still floating around, upsetting people and canines alike.

It was amazing how much trouble Ryouma could cause, even when he wasn't there.

"If you're both done spreading your issues around, I have things to do." He turned his back, dismissing them both. "Don't trip on your way out, grandmother."

"'Course not," Tsume responded automatically. "I'm not you." She kicked the hamster toward Kuromaru as she left the showers, then walked quickly enough to put space between her and Kakashi before he could respond.

Lied? She hadn't lied. She hadn't. She didn't want Ryouma. She didn't want sex and that was exactly what he did want. So Kakashi could have him.

"You could have him. If you wanted," Kuromaru muttered, walking into their apartment and dropping his kill, then spitting out his eyepatch.

"I don't want him. I don't. How many times do I have to say--"

"You always smell good when he's around."

"He's attractive! I'm not dead! It doesn't mean I want him!" Desperation lent her words an edge they didn't need. She raked her hands back through her hair. "I'm going for a run."

"But--"

"Stop." She didn't look at Kuromaru as she changed her clothes or yanked her shoes on. She didn't have to, to see his disapproving gaze in her mind's eye.

Kakashi was welcome to Ryouma. She didn't want him. Even if she did, it didn't matter. She couldn't have him. There was no point to it. This was better. Kakashi and Ryouma could rut like bunnies for all she cared.

Something in her chest twisted again. She didn't care. It wasn't for her. It never would be, and it was best to not think about it.

Tsume shoved out of the HQ doors and started running.

If Kakashi had been a real dog, his hackles would have settled down. As it was, his hands loosened in his pockets, fingers flexing out. A dull ache stung in the wristMatsuda had bruised; he pulled his hand out and shook it, easing the flicker-burn away.

Steam and water washed Tsume's scent away, leeching the air clean. The splash of wet blood on wetter tile had already half-trickled its way down a drain.

Kakashi snorted.

That was the thing about alphas. Behind the flash and flame, steel determination and iron backbone, they were all just snotty kids, bracing their shoulders against the world. Grabbing what they could, trying to keep it safe.

Tsume wanted Ryouma, and pretended she didn't. Kakashi's mouth quirked behind his anger. Of all things to relate to...

He waited a moment to make sure she really wasn't coming back, then grabbed his wire off the floor and stepped back into the shower cubicle. Lost his clothes and mask in a few economic moves, but kept a kunai within easy reach, and flicked the spray on.

For a few long, blissful minutes, he didn't think about anything but water and warmth and the shiver that came from slowly relaxing muscles. Across his throat, the butterfly-stitched gash tickled on the edge of awareness, but not enough to make him care. He rolled his shoulders back, stretching his spine.

Tsume wanted Ryouma...

But Kakashi had him. His hands and his scent and his dancing dark eyes, the repayed debt of a life saved on both sides. Stomach-tightening memories of a riverbank, hospital bed, an entirely different kind of shower, and a hotel room; the growing conviction that Ryouma wouldn't ever fall without getting back up.

He smiled slightly and tilted his head back. Tsume could want all she liked. For now, Kakashi wasn't worried.

And wasn't that an interesting place to be?