Current mood:	busy
Entry tags:	filk, gen, ootp, r, sirius

I Hate My Life; Sirius, R Filk
Title: I Hate My Life
Original Lyrics: Hate My Life by Theory of a Deadman. read or listen/watch
Prompt: Filk written for the I'd Never Forget Your Birthday challenge at immeritus.org
Author: dead_sexydexy
Rating: R
Form: Filk (song parody)
Characters: Sirius
Warnings: language, sexual content in 'outtakes'
Summary Sirius is stuck at 12 Grimmauld Place and bitter. Who can blame him?
Disclaimer: The Potterverse is not mine, I make no money from it, I don’t intend to harm it or anyone else. Don't own Theory of a Deadman or Hate My Life either.
Comments and Concrit: Are always welcome.

I Hate My Life

So sick of Mundungus,
always stealing my shit.
I don't like how he gets to go out
And all I fucking do is just sit.
I hate the Order Members who can't do their jobs.
Harry's whole goddamned life is at stake,
If you let him down so is yours.

I hate how Molly
Is always up my ass.
Harry's too young to know anything.
Bitch, he needs to grow up fast.

I hate my house,
All my family's friends.
I hate Bellatrix to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right.
There's no end in sight.
I hate my life!

How come I never get work, Voldemort's on the loose.
"Harry needs you alive," Albus says.
There's always some kind of excuse.
I still hate my 'job', Albus is a dick.
Hide in here and do nothing all day;
He's so full of shit.

I hate my life,
All of Harry's friends.
I hate Severus to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right.
There's no end in sight.
I hate my life!

I hate that Remus trusts Snape,
He's still a greasy git.
Now he's teaching Harry Occlumency--
I'm the Godfather, should be me doing it.

So if you're pissed like me
Bitches, here's what you gotta do.
Put your middle fingers up in the air
And scream: "Voldemort, Fuck You!"

I hate myself,
All my Order friends.
I hate everyone to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right.
There's no end in sight.
I hate my life.

Harry's life is at stake,
Can't catch a break.
I hate my life.
No it's nothing new to hear, "It sucks to be you."
I fuckin' hate my life.




Outtakes
Authors notes I decided I wanted the filk to fit in canon, which meant all sorts of non-canon and quasi canon ideas popped into my mind immediately. Though I didn't include them in the filk, I still love them because they made me giggle. In public. And people gave me sideways glances and tried to see what I was writing.



I hate that I forgot, Ginny's underage.
You know I tell her she's a nice piece of ass
Then Molly punches me in the face.

I hate that I forgot, the Twins are underage.
I tell them how I'd love to rim their asses
Then Molly punches me in the face.

I hate that I couldn't tell, Remus is no longer gay.
You know I tell him I still want his ass
Then Tonks punches me in the face.

How come I never get laid, bitter guys always lose.
"Tonks is your cousin," who cares 'bout that
There's always some kind of excuse.

How come I never get laid, the living always lose.
"Harry's not James," who cares about that,
There's always some kind of excuse.