November 2009
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11/19/09 11:11 am
Dear You,
I am so fucking glad you went to rehab, because you were seriously fucking up my best friend's life. You say she's your best friend, but how the fuck can you mean that when you kept on giving her the one thing she's trying to quit? That's not a friend. You just didn't want to be fucked up alone, you selfish bastard. I don't appreciate you fucking everything up while I'm three hours away at school and can't do anything to stop it. I know you probably won't stay clean when you get out, but I'll hopefully be home by then and be able to stop you from killing one of the few people that really mean something to me. Go fuck yourself, asshole.
Just because you're past the point of no return and can't handle your life like a normal human being doesn't mean you get to drag other people down with you. If you get out and keep doing the same shit you were doing before, I won't sit back and keep my mouth shut anymore. You don't know what it's like to constantly worry that your best friend is either going to end up dead or in jail because some dickless piece of shit doesn't want to go down alone.
FUCK YOU.
Much love,
One of the few people that used to have faith in you.
Too bad you fucked that up, too.
11/12/09 08:18 am
Dear you,
You can't die. Your so close to my heart. I don't know if I can ever make jokes and mean it. I don't know if I can ever smile and feel it. It hurts to swallow, and breathe, and to speak is almost impossible. I'm doing it because I know you'd be mad at me if I stopped. I know you'd be mad at me if I gave up. I know I have to be the grounded one while everyone else crumbles to pieces around me. That's the role I usually play, so far I've breathed sufficient life into it. Now, I just don't think...
Everything aches so badly when I think of a world that your no longer in. Had it not been for your existence I wouldn't even be alive. Had it not been for you giving my mom that gentle push for independence, telling her she could do it, that she was strong, and that you believed in how amazing she was... I'd have never even been born. Had it not been for you I'd have had no one to love and raise and nurture me while she worked to keep us both fed and clothed and sheltered. God knows my father was useless in that aspect. Even though I'm older and taller, and my eyes are worse and my sense of humor is maybe a little jaded you always promised your heart to me. You always treated me like a daughter. Always, like I could count on you no matter what. Even if it was jail time. I never had to call you for those things, I'm a good kid. And I know you counted on that, but it was always just in case... and no matter what with you.
And now there isn't anything any one can do! I don't want to believe that... I don't. Your like another mother to me. That's a living piece of me I'm not ready to give up. I won't. But... you can't die... okay?!
I'll always need you grandma,
Me
11/10/09 02:51 am
Dear Daddy,
It's been almost 5 months since you left us, Daddy...and God, I miss you. I need you...
Your daughter,
Lauren
11/8/09 11:31 pm
Dear Obama:
Thank you for assuming I don't know what's best for my body. I know I am too stupid to know what's good for me so of course I am pleased that you created laws so I no longer have to worry about making decisions.
And thank you for finally making healthcare reform a negative thing for me ❤
11/4/09 07:30 pm
Dear you,
I don't hate you anymore... A lot of the things that I did, I did to myself. I deserve anything that I get in life and I know that it's my fault for not exerting enough effort into anything. I'm a hypocrite, I'm a liar, I've done a lot to hurt people and seem to continue to do so.
I will relearn to stand on my own again. I will rise above and show you I can change.
With understanding,
Me.
Dear you, I never once in a million years said I hated you. I never had any problems with you at all and still don't. I know that the anger you feel towards me is justified, I won't ask for anything. I hope we can be friends again, even if it means waiting for years to come. Hopeful, Me.
11/2/09 12:57 pm
Dear all four of you,
You knew how special that dinner was to me and I reminded you about the details several times. I even called you the morning of the event and you all said you would be there. So what happened? Was it the drugs? Are they more important than our friendship? I've loved you all like my own brothers and would have done anything for you so how is it that you think it's okay to treat me this way? Did I not even deserve a phone call to at least tell me you weren't coming? At least the fifth member of your group had the decency to text me and tell me he couldn't attend. So come now; what's your fucking excuse for being the assholes that you were last night?
You know what the party was probably better off without you. I don't need a posse of drugged up douchebags making everyone else feel uncomfortable. The dinner was great and the company was wonderful.
I hope you're in jail b/c that's the only excuse that would ever allow me to forgive you all.
Current Music: Cream- Strange Brew
11/2/09 12:04 am
Dear you,
She is one of my closest friends. She is sweet, hyper, very creative with what she is given and she is one of the most loyal and honest people you will ever find on the internet. She doesn't deserve to have a fucking BITCH like you constantly treating her like SHIT. She deserves and HAS friends who are 10000000000000000 times better than you EVER will be.
She is like a sister to me and if you don't stop treating her this way, karma will FUCK you up.
Zero love, no wait, you don't even deserve any sort of emotion other than hate.
~Ironhide.
10/27/09 09:37 pm
Dear Ex,
For someone who considered me one of their best friends, and told me I was wrong when we broke up, you REALLY killed yourself trying to prove everything I said, wrong.
Not.
The last time I saw you, you harped on at me about how you'd lost weight and were getting really healthy and fit - I highly doubt it, as I know about your lack of culinary prowess... in fact, you can't cook anything other than a slice of toast.
Then my Nan passed away and you didn't even have the decency to come and see me to my face to offer your sympathies. I get some lame-ass text message two weeks AFTER the funeral, saying that you're there if I need someone to talk to. You have me friend-ed on Face-book, you knew EVERYTHING that was going on, before during and after the funeral. You knew where I was staying, you knew when the funeral was going to be... but, that's neither here nor there.
Since breaking up with your sorry ass, I, not only found work, but I found a great job. I wasn't reduced to delivering pizzas. Now, I understand any work at the moment is great, but, you're 30. You've been doing the same job since you were 19. What does that tell you?
And yes, I've moved back north. I LOVE it here. I should never have left! I'm doing great things at University. And, okay, so I might still be a gamer and a nerd and a book worm, but I'm having conversations with people that you couldn't even fathom having.
When I finish University, I'll have two degrees to my name, and you'll still be delivering pizza, and I understand that a degree doesn't necessarily guarantee me a job, but, at least it'll give me a foot inside a door that isn't a pizza place or burger joint.
So, when all is said and done, don't go on about how you were just with me, out of pity. Remember, I'm the one who kicked you to the curb, not the other way around. I'm the one who got sick of your lame-ass attempts at witty and intelligent conversation. "Durrr, you kill them and you get experience points, durrrr". I'm not the one who has to ask Mummy's permission to go to the movies because she holds the purse strings...
Keep talking shit about me to that whore you're with now, and I'll air ALL your dirty laundry to the public. This is a freakin' cake-walk, compared to what I am fully capable of... after all, I know just about everyone you live near, work with and have associated with for the majority of our lives... so... Keep it up.
No love,
Me.
PS: Just because I'm not there, doesn't mean I don't know you were fucking the mighty midget the night of my birthday when we were still together.
PPS: You've lost weight? Honey, I lost 125 kilos of stupid when I dumped your ass, and the numbers keep dropping off me now that I'm away from you.
Current Music: Fun House / P!nk
10/18/09 08:05 pm
Dear you,
Seriously? Are you stalking me? Do you have a recording device planted in my apartment or on my person? Do you have a special "Devin-might-be-happy radar"? And so you must act as quickly as possible to make me agitated and take care of that pesky problem? Because this is probably the fourth time you've done it since this summer and I'm beginning to get angry.
You haven't talked to me in a month. After you blew me off twice in one week. Remember, we had plans to hang out? And then it was my fault that I couldn't hang out later that night because you had something better to do when we were supposed to go for coffee? Remind me please, cause I can't seem to quite remember what it was that you were doing instead of meeting me...oh right. Rearranging your room.
So I have a pseudo-date last night with a guy I am interested in. We have a nice time and I came home with a smile on my face. So I really should've expected the text from you today. I should have. Asking me to go to church? You're not even Catholic! We had an entire argument about the Catholic church! And now you're telling me that I should go with you to the church on my school's campus? I'm so confused and annoyed that I can hardly even think about anything else right now.
You're the one who moved on. You're the one who blew me off all summer. You're the one who goes weeks without returning a call.
So just stay MIA this time. Because I'm so far past done with this crap.
-Me
10/14/09 11:12 am
Dear You,
Every once in a while, you crop up in my mind. I don't like it. It makes me feel stupid, because you were great. I keep reminding myself that at that time, I needed to break up with you so that I could become my own person. Now, after years of having no significant other to fall back on, I find myself missing you. There's just nothing I can do about it now. You've fallen in love since then, and I'm happy for you. You were actually able to move on.
I thought I moved on, but I guess I really didn't. Sucks to be me, huh?
10/13/09 02:16 am
dear you,
what
i thought everything was okay, is it not okay? please tell me, don't throw me in the fog and giggle at me from twenty feet away where i cant see you
10/8/09 11:51 pm
Dear Roommates,
I love you both, but I will kill you if i can't sleep tonight. And also, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop with the obsessing over your respective crushes. It's really frustrating for me to have to listen to every detail of your conversations with them and quite frankly, I'm over it.
Don't mean to be a bitch, but I've got other things to worry about than whether the fact he used the word "hey" instead of "hello" means he likes you or not. (okay that was an exaggeration, but really, not by all that much.)
Trying to hear myself think,
Me
10/7/09 09:04 pm
Your Level of Maturity In Question
Dear you,
I hope that one day you are either able to move past your insecurities or get over your pms. You're 33 and you have a teenage son. Stop acting like you're trying to relive your high school glory days as the queen bitch. Calling people out on their short comings doesn't make you cool or more intelligent than them. It just makes your tactless. How is it that I'm more than ten years your junior and yet I have a higher maturity level than you? Maybe if you tried to make your point without insults being the bulk of your argument I could take you more seriously and have a higher consideration for your point of view. The only opinion that counts concerning myself is my own and it's way too high to be brought down by someone like you. I suggest you take a few pointers from the rules of etiquette and pull that stick out of your ass before you speak to me again.
Love,
Dolly
Current Music: Michael Buble'- Quando Quando Quando
10/6/09 11:19 pm
dear you,
i've told you i loved you a handful of times in the last few days. i don't think you've returned it once.
i don't know what to think.
10/6/09 11:10 pm
Dear You,
Why am I not a special snowflake in your eyes?
No Love,
Me
Current Music: watching: Nancy Grace
10/5/09 01:55 pm
Dear you,
Get a facebook account for the love of kittens. I miss you and feel weird calling out of the blue. I know I'm a wuss, but there you have it. Get a facebook so I can avoid the awkward.
Love,
Me.
10/5/09 10:05 am
You weren't good enough for him
Dear Boyfriend's ex-best friend.
Do you remember when I emailed you and tried to come to some resolution because I am your best friend's girlfriend? Do you also remember that I told you you weren't a good enough friend and if you guys did fall apart it was not going to be because of me? Well, look what you have gone and done.
You have ( or had) two friends that wanted to do nice things for you, be there for you and hang out with you. C tried to contact you numerous times and was willing to work around your 'busy' schedule to make time for you but because she didn't text you back one time you didn't want to talk to her. Then my boyfriend tries to do something nice for you- wanting to buy tickets to your favorite band which he couldn't afford for your birthday- and you decided to be a bitch.
I never liked you. I always thought you used my boyfriend and wanted him around when it was convenient for you. Quite frankly, I am glad that he decided to put your friendship on 'haitus'. I hope that you stay the way you are and he realizes fully just how bad a friend you were. He deserves someone better as a best friend.
I'm glad you are out of his life.
signed, his girlfriend.
10/4/09 05:14 pm
Dear you(s),
I didn't want to admit it to anyone because I'd like to say I know how much you all tried. Truth is however, no one even remembered but about 3 people, two of which were my parents. Who called me at midnight and sang to me over the phone. At 11 am the next day you check the calender and suddenly realize you've forgotten something and rush to tell everyone else so that by 1 pm I've heard it 3 times from the three other people I live with coupled with their sincerest apologies. My co-workers remembered it, and you all didn't. And you spend the rest of the day telling me that I shouldn't look forward to every year being shit, but even when I don't it always is. No one remembers and when they do it's still just another day all about them. What makes this one day so special? And why is it its always special for other people and not for me? You spent the whole day chewing my ear off because I wouldn't drag you around while your sick. Then when I've finally had enough you take me out to do what you want to do. And while I love going to the movies, is it so wrong to not want to pay to see the same thing two days in a row? I told you what I wanted to do and instead we did what you wanted. I bought my self my own piece of cake, which thanks to you I was unable to eat. I spend all day actually wishing I had gone to work instead, even wishing they were short staffed so I could work a double. You 'effin threw a tantrum just as things were getting a little lighter-hearted and stormed off to cry and scream in the bathroom. You apologized while I paid for everything. Which I actually had no issues with. But you forgot. We've been friends for how long? We even 'effin live together, and you forgot. All of you. I was in a different state helping out family and didn't forget. I harassed you all day and sent you cards and all that. Before that I bought you a book you'd been dying for and even arranged for you to meet a celeb. Took you for sushi and sake, which are your favorites. I don't want to say more. I think I've driven home that I'm hurt.
Thank you for making me feel invisible,
Me
9/27/09 09:38 pm
Dear S,
I wish I could tell you how bizarre this semester has felt so far. I wasn't expecting to see you again after the English class we had together, (which I'm learning is a big mistake considering the size of our university), and it's probably the reasoning behind why I never made the effort to keep in touch with you after that semester ended even though we had exchanged AIM screen names and friended each other on Facebook.
You're here again though. Except now I know that you're going for the same degree as I am and want to take a similar career path to the one I've laid out for myself. Not only that, it could technically be said we're in two classes together, as we are in the same Statistics class and though we are in different sections for Accounting, we have the same professor. I was surprised when you remembered who I was and talked to me in the parking lot after Stats on the first day, and though I thought it would be awkward to talk to you again considering I hadn't talked to you in nearly two years, it wasn't. That day it was as if I just hadn't talked to you over the weekend, which is really unusual to me, since it's awkward for me to talk to people I may have known for years but haven't spoken to in an extended amount of time.
After that first day, I started sitting next to you again, which is how we met freshman year in the first place, and it didn't take you long to ask me about studying for Accounting and Stats together. I agreed of course, since you are nice, and it's always nice to have someone to study with. I've really enjoyed studying with you every Tuesday before Stats, and you surprised me again a couple of weeks ago when I asked you if you still had my AIM screen name, and you said that you remembered what it was. We also exchanged cell numbers, and I was surprised that you actually use it, since I've given it out to people before for studying purposes and no one's used it except you. The thing that's really bugging me though is the fact that there's a few parallels between you and the guy I dated earlier this year. I guess in the grand scheme of things they're relatively minor, but the fact you share his name, and at least his middle initial and that you named your new dog the same name his dog has, it's enough to send my head spinning, especially since I'm kind of hoping our relationship goes beyond study buddies, but I'm willing to sit back and wait and see. Besides, I think it's pretty neat that I happen to be reading your favorite book right now, so maybe as I go along we can talk about it a bit, hm?
Plus, as we share a major, I have a feeling I'll see you around more after this semester, so I guess I'm not completely loony.
Lots of like,
Me
9/16/09 11:49 pm
Dear America,
YOU FAIL!
Recycled Percussion should be a million dollars richer now, and you know it. Congrats at letting the sob stories finish first and second instead of those with actual talent and the ability to have an amazing Vegas act.
Screw you,
K
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Dear J,
Once again your concern for me is overwhelming. I hope I'm "back to better soon" as well and you're definitely helping me along.
Love,
K
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Dear A,
I think we might be okay. Certainly changed, but okay. That's so relieving because losing you as friend would have devastated me, and that's happened enough lately.
Love,
K
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Dear (other) J,
I think you must be psychic, or something. I get bad news, and next thing I know I have a message from you filled with all kinds of support and love. You really are my rock right now. Please don't stop anytime soon.
So much love,
K
Current Music: Happens All the Time - Cold
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