|Celandine's Chronicle (celandineb) wrote in cels_fic_haven,|
@ 2008-10-20 08:16:00
|Entry tags:||coauthor: emiime, hp fic better the instruction, hp fic remus/teddy|
HP fic: Better the Instruction (12/22) [Remus/Teddy, adult]
Title: Better the Instruction (12/22)
Authors: celandineb and emiime
Chapter pairings: Remus/Teddy; references to Remus/Sam, Remus/Sirius, Teddy/Andrew, Teddy/Victoire.
Chapter rating: NC17
Chapter length: ~8400 words
Warnings: Incest, rimming, delayed orgasm, restraint, angst and guilt.
Summary: Teddy needs advice; he goes to Remus and gets what he came for.
Note: AU (Remus survived the war). See here for complete story header with all pairings/warnings. Also posted here.
Remus shook a few biscuits onto a plate, looked at it critically, and added several more. The kettle was boiling. He switched it off and made tea, glancing at the clock. Teddy would be there at any minute.
Can I drop by on Sunday? he'd asked, standing by the counter at the bookshop. I really need to talk to you.
It had been obvious when he'd come in that something was bothering him. Just like his mother, his emotions were transparent on his face--at least, they were to Remus.
Of course, Remus had said. Come by at four, we'll have tea.
He was prepared if Teddy ended up staying for dinner, too, with chicken in the fridge and bottled korma sauce to cook it in, and rice and courgettes. Sam had been over last night and Remus had told him that Teddy wanted a heart-to-heart with his dad, so he knew that they wouldn't be interrupted. He wondered what it was that was troubling Teddy so much. He'd seemed cheerful enough last weekend at the concert, if a little awkward, introducing his friend--boyfriend? hard to tell--to Remus and Sam. Well, soon enough Remus would find out.
The door banged and Teddy's footsteps came dragging down the hall instead of his usual cheerful clatter. Whatever the problem was, it hadn't gone away.
"Hey, Dad," said Teddy as he came in.
"Come on, have a seat." Remus pushed the plate of biscuits across the table. "I bought your favourites."
"Yeah? Thanks." Teddy's expression brightened momentarily as he reached out and took a ginger biscuit. "That was really ace of you."
Remus hesitated, then asked, "What's up? I'm always glad to see you, you know that, but you said you wanted to talk about something."
Teddy paused in the middle of a bite, and set the biscuit down carefully. "I, um. Well. It's about Andrew."
"Oh?" Remus poured a cup of tea and took a sip, then filled and passed another cup to Teddy. "What about Andrew? He seemed a pleasant boy; shy, maybe, but polite."
"Not shy," said Teddy, blowing the steam off his tea. "Actually not really shy at all. More like... afraid."
Remus sat back in his chair. "Afraid?" Teddy nodded, staring into his tea. "Afraid of what, Ted? Surely not of me or Sam."
"No. More like the whole world." Teddy slumped in his chair and blew out a breath, hiding behind his fringe--brown today, like Remus's own hair. Neither man spoke for a long moment--Remus knew from experience that at times like this, it was best to give Teddy time, let him speak when he was ready. If Remus pushed, Teddy would likely say nothing at all.
Finally, Teddy raised his face and looked at his father, scooting his chair in and leaning his forearms on the table, bending forward as if he had a desperate secret to impart.
"He doesn't want anyone to know how he is, Dad. How--we are. Queer. He's afraid of what might happen with his teammates, his family, his friends--everyone he knows, I guess. Seems like he thinks the whole world would be against him if he were seen walking down the street with me holding his hand, or something."
"Ah." Remus sat back, watching Teddy. He should have guessed. So Andrew had an overinflated sense of his own importance in his community--but what young man didn't? His coming out probably wouldn't shake the foundations of his world, but it would be impossible to tell that to him.
Remus knew this not from anything he'd heard, but from his early days with Sirius. If ever there was a boy with an overinflated ego, he thought in half-fond, half-exasperated recollection.
Sirius had been raised to believe that there was only one acceptable fate for him: to be a nice, normal Pureblood boy who married a nice, normal Pureblood girl and who produced several nice, normal Pureblood babies to carry on the family name. When Sirius had realised he was going to do none of these things, even though he'd already begun to split from his family, he had broken down and told Remus he couldn't keep on with their relationship, and he certainly could never go public with it.
Remus had, eventually, talked him down from his frantic state, but they'd been together for quite some time before that moment--not like Teddy and Andrew.
"I don't know what to do," Teddy said, almost in a wail. "I said I didn't want to see him if that was how he felt--well, that's more or less what I said--and then I told him he knew how to find me if he changed his mind. But now I wish I hadn't, and I don't know how to take it back. I really miss him."
He looked absolutely miserable, and it almost broke Remus's heart to see him. Sure, Teddy hadn't known Andrew very long, but that didn't necessarily make any difference to one's feelings.
"When did this happen?" Remus asked gently.
"Last Saturday. After the concert. We went to Andrew's flat, that's when we had the fight." Teddy gulped. "I've been hoping to hear something from him all week, but by Friday, I gave up. I thought maybe you'd had something like this happen to you, and maybe you'd have some ideas for me."
"Oh, Ted." Remus started to reach across the table to take Teddy's hand, but thought better of it. "Come on, let's take our tea into the living room."
Settled on the sofa, Remus put an arm around his son and held him close. "You're right, it's happened to me too. And you know, I could have been in that position myself, except that since I was already a werewolf, I guess being queer didn't seem like as big of a deal--an outcast's an outcast. But if a person has been raised to think of himself as one thing, to think he's only acceptable in one way, it can be very difficult to see that maybe it's not the end of the world if he's not that thing after all."
He told Teddy about Sirius, about how panicked Sirius had been at the realisation that he really genuinely had no interest in girls, that his relationship with Remus wasn't just a school fling--and that after months and months of being together.
"But Andrew told me that he's never liked girls," Teddy protested. "And he's older than I am. How can he not have figured out how to live with who he is?"
Remus finished the last of the tea in his cup and put it down. "Has Andrew ever had a real boyfriend, do you know? Someone long-term?"
"No. I'm almost sure he hasn't. He said--" Teddy stopped abruptly.
"Don't tell me anything personal about Andrew, that's fine," Remus assured him. "I'm just trying to think in general terms, here, how someone in his situation might react, and why. Think about this. Have you told many people about yourself? Other than me and Sam?"
"Well--no," admitted Teddy, "but I don't see what that's got to do with anything."
"Why haven't you told your friends?" Remus asked as gently as possible.
"Because--because--" Teddy floundered for a moment, then took a long sip of tea. Remus could almost hear him thinking.
"Because I haven't had a reason to tell them," he finally said. "I thought Andrew would be a good reason--I even said that to him, and he got all upset, as if I were going to give them his Floo address and all of his personal details, or something. I don't want to hide, but I don't want to make some random announcement unless I have to, you know?" He paused. "Unless I have a reason to," he corrected himself, and drained the last of his tea from his cup.
"That's perfectly fine," said Remus, giving Teddy's shoulders a squeeze. "Revelations like this can hurt or confuse some people--probably fewer in your generation than in mine, of course, but there will always be some. Perhaps it's best, in your case, to wait--but then again, perhaps you could set an example for Andrew. Oh, I know he's older than you are," Remus said as Teddy opened his mouth to protest, "but in this instance, I think age is irrelevant."
"So you think I should tell my friends I'm a poof," Teddy said, his voice oddly flat.
"Not a poof," Remus corrected, "but perhaps it would do some good if they did know that you fancy boys. It's up to you, of course, Ted. It's always up to you how much to share, and with whom."
Teddy drew his knees up to his chest and leaned into Remus. "I guess I'll think about that, Dad," he said, though he didn't sound like he planned to give the idea much of a chance.
"You're luckier than you realise, Ted," Remus said after a moment. "Perhaps Andrew's family isn't as understanding as your own. You know as well as I do that there are people out there who aren't accepting of the homosexual lifestyle--"
"Do you really have to call it that?" Teddy turned up his nose, and Remus chuckled.
"All right," he said, "since it's not really a 'lifestyle' anyway. There are people out there who aren't accepting of our kind, is that better?" Teddy nodded, and Remus continued. "Perhaps Andrew's family is like that--or perhaps he just thinks they're like that. It's possible for people to be prejudiced against something until they come face-to-face with it." He thought of all the prejudice he'd met with himself, the way that people stood warily back from him, as if he might turn into a wolf and leap on them right there. The previous bookstore manager had nearly not hired him, and Remus had had to prove himself every day.
"I didn't tell you about myself, remember, until you walked in on Sam and me and it was unavoidable," Remus went on. "Now, that wasn't because I thought you would reject me as your father, but rather because you were at school most of the year anyway, and I didn't want to make your life complicated when it didn't seem that important. I wasn't in any serious relationships, after all. But I think now that I made a mistake by not saying anything for all those years; I set you a poor example by keeping quiet about something that's a big part of who I am."
Teddy twisted his head to look intently at his father.
Remus wasn't sure what Teddy was reading in his face, but he gave a rueful smile. "Your dad's not perfect."
"Do--do your friends know? About you, I mean?" Teddy asked.
"Some of them, yes. The ones I care about the most. Your godfather knows, certainly, and most of the old Order members. I don't think it's necessary to go around announcing my sexuality to random strangers and acquaintances; it's just not relevant, any more than it would be to tell them what flavor of yoghurt I prefer."
"Unless they were going to buy you yoghurt for your lunch," Teddy pointed out.
"Exactly. If someone needs to know, I tell them. And good friends should know the important things about who a person is. If you don't allow them to know, you're not showing much trust, and that suggests that they're not such good friends after all, right?"
Teddy frowned and said, "I suppose so. I guess that means I wasn't that close to you."
"It was a little different with you," said Remus gently. "Because of your age, and because you're my son. I judged it might be a burden you weren't ready for. I'm sorry that it seems I made a mistake in that decision, but don't let that affect what you choose to do, Ted."
With a sigh, Teddy snuggled closer against him. "You really think I should tell people, don't you?"
"I think you should strongly consider talking to a few of your friends, yes." Remus stroked Teddy's hair. "Victoire will probably be the most difficult to tell, but she's one who should know. I don't think you've figured out if you're completely oriented towards men, or if you could be in love with women too, have you? And that's fine. You don't need to know that for sure to say that you're not straight."
"Okay. I suppose I'll have to do it sometime soon, then." Teddy sighed and burrowed into his father's embrace. They sat like that for a while, unspeaking, until Teddy shifted and coughed.
"Hey. Dad. I, um, I used the plugs you bought me."
"Oh!" Remus blinked, taken by surprise. This was certainly an abrupt change of subject--and a subject he hadn't intended to broach again with Teddy for a while. "That's--well. Good for you. How did you like them?"
"Well, I actually only used the smallest one," Teddy confessed, "and I was a little sore afterward, but I might have got a little too excited or something. I used plenty of lube, though, like you said I should."
Remus thought it might be more appropriate to have this conversation without his arm around his son, so he shifted and stretched to put his empty teacup on the side table--that would do for an excuse.
"It's all right if you're a little tender after penetration," said Remus, tucking himself into a corner of the sofa. "In fact, that's to be expected--just as long as the tenderness goes away soon afterward. If you ever experience pain, actual pain, anything that feels like tearing, or any bleeding, you should stop what you're doing right away, all right?"
Teddy grimaced. "Bleeding?"
"Use lots of lube, Ted, always, and it probably won't happen."
"Probably won't?" Teddy's voice squeaked. He looked on the verge of panic.
"Oh, Ted," sighed Remus, "there's always the chance of things going wrong during sex--yes, sometimes bleeding, but probably not like you're thinking--but as long as you're careful, and you take your time, and you and your partner are caring towards each other, the chance of accident or injury lessens. Just think--I know it's hard to do sometimes, especially when your hormones are raging and you feel like you might burst, but think, Ted, and use basic common sense, and you'll be all right. I promise," he added, wanting nothing more than to gather his son in his arms and kiss the top of his head.
"You're sure?" Teddy still sounded a bit frightened. "Did--have you ever been hurt, like, bleeding-hurt?"
Remus nodded. "A few times, but never badly, and it was always just from over-enthusiasm." Although it had been rather terrifying, both for him and for Sirius, the first time it happened, which was actually the first time they'd tried penetration. It had been several months before they worked up the nerve to try again.
Teddy seemed to breathe more easily at that. "I didn't know that could happen. I mean, I knew it could hurt, I guess, but not that there could be bleeding or anything."
"You said you had sex with Victoire, right?" At Teddy's nod, Remus continued, "Well, you know that a girl's, a woman's, vagina produces its own lubrication, but even so if sex is rough, it can tear the tissues and make her bleed a little. That goes about ten times over for anal sex." He managed to say the words without blushing, much to his own surprise. "There's no natural lubrication there at all, so you really need to use plenty of a good lube to keep things slick. You might be tempted sometime to try having sex with just spit, but that's likely to be quite painful, and can even injure whomever is being penetrated. One benefit of being a wizard is that you can always use a charm if you've forgotten real lube, but I think the latter is better, myself."
"Does it last longer, or something?"
"Oh, I don't know. I've just always found it more effective for some reason. That's why I gave you some with the plugs." Remus looked at Teddy. "If you run out, use a charm; don't try using hand lotion or anything of that sort. Some of them have scents or other ingredients that can be very irritating. Not a place where you want an itch you can't scratch."
"No," said Teddy, relaxing a little and smiling. "Definitely not."
Remus smiled back at him. "Anything else you needed to talk about, while we're at it? Wait, let me get some more tea first. Do you want another cup?"
He cast a quick warming charm on the teapot and refilled both their cups, carrying them back to the living room. Teddy had kicked off his shoes and tucked his feet under him, and looked far more at ease than he had when he first arrived, although still a little down at the mouth. Remus supposed he was thinking about Andrew.
"All right," said Remus. "Now we can talk some more, if you like." He handed Teddy's cup to him and settled on the sofa with his own, inhaling the fragrant steam. "Did you have any questions about--oh, anything at all, really. That's what I'm here for--I may not always have the answers, but we can find them out together if that's the case."
Teddy squirmed a little at Remus's last words and busied himself with his teacup.
"Ted?" Had he been too pushy, and stopped Teddy's desire to share? He hoped not; it had been good conversation until now, and he liked knowing that he was helping Teddy along in what must be an awfully confusing new world for him--even if they had put their lessons on hold for a while.
"No, I--it's okay," said Teddy finally, "I was just--I have a question."
"Go ahead," said Remus, sipping his tea.
"Um. It's a question I think you might not like, but please don't be cross, Dad, all right? I just really want to know the answer, because it means a lot to me, okay?" Teddy had turned to face Remus and his brow was furrowed, his voice edging higher.
"Of course I can't promise not to get cross, Ted--I don't know what your question is." That was a lie; Remus had a very good idea of what Teddy was about to ask, and he dreaded having to give him an answer. "I will, however, promise you that I'll answer your question as completely and as honestly as I can, whatever it may be."
"Okay." Teddy took a deep breath and turned away a little, staring into his teacup, tendrils of steam licking his face. There was a pause during which Remus very much wanted to just ask the question for Teddy, but he waited, patient, as a father and a teacher should be.
"Dad, I was just wondering, um," Teddy said finally, "when we might be able to start our lessons again." His voice dropped to a near-whisper as he finished asking his question, and he tucked his feet further underneath him.
Remus tried not to sigh. Teddy's question was exactly what he'd expected it would be, and exactly what he'd hoped it wouldn't be. He'd attempted to put their lessons out of his mind recently, with more success at some times than at others, and he'd been dreading the day Teddy might bring them up again, not least because he'd be lying if he said he wasn't looking forward to the remaining lessons more than a little himself.
"I haven't decided," he said finally, after a pause that felt far too long.
"But we will finish them?" Teddy's voice cracked. "I'm not saying I don't believe you, Dad. Honestly. I just want to know."
Remus's mind raced. He knew that he needed more delay; he wasn't prepared to cope with resuming the lessons quite yet, although it was also important to him to keep his word and do so eventually. The next lesson was toys--there, that was a reason.
"We will. But first I have homework for you," he said. "You said you'd only tried the smallest of the plugs I gave you, right?"
Teddy nodded, his face hopeful.
"All right, then, what I want you to do is gradually--and I do mean gradually--work your way up to the largest one. Don't rush things and injure yourself because you want the lesson to happen sooner. If it takes till after Christmas, that's probably plenty fast enough." Remus thought that another three weeks might not be enough for himself, but he probably couldn't get Teddy to go any more slowly. "When you've used the large plug several times, and you're comfortable with it, then we can arrange the next lesson."
"Comfortable, you mean like not sore at all?"
"No pain," Remus clarified. "A little soreness afterward is normal." He closed his eyes for an instant, imagining Teddy on his knees, the plug filling him. He cleared his throat and took a sip of tea. "Does that sound fair?"
"Yes," Teddy agreed, with a crooked smile. "Besides, I promised I'd do whatever you told me to do, remember?"
"I remember." Remus shifted slightly, crossing his leg the other way so that Teddy wouldn't see that just thinking about it was beginning to arouse him. "I'll expect to hear that you're ready after Christmas or sometime in January, then."
"Yes, Ted. What is it?"
"Could I--could I please kiss you?"
Remus choked and spilled a little tea in his lap. He busied himself with brushing it off his trousers, but still it left a spot which he'd have to remember to clean later.
"Why would you want to do that, Ted?" he finally asked, his voice not much more than a hoarse whisper. He refused to let himself think of what a kiss could lead to.
Teddy's lower lip quivered for a moment before he seemed to gain control of himself, and he responded. "Dad, I just--I miss our lessons. I miss you. I feel really stupid and really alone right now." Teddy couldn't quite look him in the eyes, Remus noticed--which was fine, because Remus knew that if those eyes met his, he was doomed.
"You feel alone because you miss Andrew," Remus attempted to clarify the situation, but Teddy finally looked at him and shook his head, knitting his eyebrows together and chewing on his lip.
"I mean--that, too," he said, "I do miss him. But I miss you too, Dad, which is a whole separate thing."
Remus knew he mustn't give in. He told himself in no uncertain terms that that moment would be a very good moment to stand up and excuse himself and go into the kitchen and wash their teacups, or, perhaps better, to go into the bathroom and splash cold water on his face until he could think again. It was a bad, bad idea to stay there in the living room, the lights dim, a low fire crackling in the fireplace, with Teddy so near... all Remus would have to do was shift the littlest bit...
"No," he finally managed. "Ted, I told you we could be nothing more than father and son. I won't--I can't be your lover. I'm your father, I'm in a serious relationship with Sam. I can't." His throat closed up as he protested, and he was barely able to get out the last words.
To Remus's horror, though, he found himself reaching out and caressing his son's neck, just behind his ear. He had meant it to be a fatherly gesture of comfort, but he had misjudged. His touch was too light, and that was one of Teddy's most sensitive spots--how could he have forgotten?
Because you wanted to forget, his conscience told him, as Teddy shivered under his touch, head turning and lips parting just the slightest bit in tempting invitation. Did Teddy even realise what he was doing? Did it matter if he did?
Now that his hand was on his son's skin, though, Remus could not force himself to draw back, not two days before the full moon. This was the sin of the wolf indeed, this irresistible seduction. His mind might say no, but his body demanded a yes, and Teddy was willing--more than willing--he was begging for Remus to touch him, kiss him, love him.
"Not my lover. My teacher," Teddy breathed. "Please. I need you."
Remus's gut twisted. How often had anyone said that to him? Usually it was Remus who needed someone else; he was accustomed to thinking of himself as a liability, not the opposite. He could smell Teddy's need, his desire evoking an answering hunger in Remus.
"Ted," he said, his voice strangled, as Teddy edged closer, and then he couldn't speak, for Teddy's hand touched his knee, travelled upward, coming to rest at the juncture of his thighs, just barely brushing against his stiff cock.
He couldn't move. It was as if that light touch were a bond of iron, holding him. Teddy whispered again, "Please," and finally, reluctantly, Remus nodded, unable to do anything but agree. At his nod Teddy slid onto his lap, thighs spread to press himself against Remus, lips opening to kiss him.
Desire and shame battled as Remus kissed his son, held him close, caressed his shoulders and his back and down to his sweetly curved arse. Was there any way to salvage this, to make it another lesson? Remus might not be able to resist altogether, but perhaps he could control... for long enough to get them to the guest room, at least, where their lessons had always been, where it might feel more impersonal, more teacher-student.
"I'm going to Apparate us," he muttered against Teddy's neck, pausing only an instant for Teddy to understand before he did so, sending them both sprawling across the bed. Teddy's eyes were open, dark, and he reached for Remus, beginning to unbutton his cardigan.
"Wait." Remus caught Teddy's hand, taking in a deep breath. God. He would control himself. He would not take his son like this. He would lead Teddy to the brink of orgasm, keep him there, show him the pleasure of torment that he himself was experiencing... and he would not let Teddy bring him off, not if he could avoid it. Perhaps he would feel less guilt, that way, for his own lack of resolve.
"What is it?" Teddy's voice was impatient, and his fingers flexed in Remus's grasp. He edged closer to Remus on the bed.
"Leave my clothes alone," Remus rasped, "We're going to concentrate on you." He wasn't certain he'd be able to restrain himself, but he knew that he must try. Even if it meant coming in his pants, which was something he was afraid he might do. It was better than coming where Teddy could see... on him... in him, oh god. No.
At Remus's touch on his shoulders, Teddy lay back on the bed and began unbuttoning his own shirt, and lay there in his vest and jeans, squirming and thrusting his crotch into the air, as Remus savoured the sight of him, young and tender and waiting... and willing.
Remus sprang into action, then, pulling off Teddy's jeans and his pants, raking his fingers up Teddy's legs to the juncture of his thighs, where his cock strained red against his brown pubic curls. Teddy keened and thrust up, up, and Remus slid his hands under Teddy's buttocks, holding him in place, just where he wanted him.
And he did want him, he wanted him badly, son or not. Teddy was an incredibly sexual being, and Remus thought he couldn't help the way his body reacted to Teddy's, dressed only in a rucked-up vest with a hole at the bottom and writhing, anticipating Remus's hands on his bollocks, Remus's mouth on his cock.
Remus licked the skin at the crease where Teddy's thigh met his groin, and Teddy moaned, reaching down to clutch at Remus's hair with one hand. Remus shook off his touch and licked him again, on the other side this time, framing his cock.
"Dad, please--need it, need you," Teddy cried. "Dad, I want you to fuck me."
Remus's head jerked up at that, and he scowled at his son.
"No," was all he could manage, simultaneously horrified and aroused by what Teddy wanted of him. Of course he wanted to fuck Teddy--that shouldn't be an of course, but it was nevertheless--but he couldn't. He couldn't do it yet. Teddy's body wasn't ready for it--and neither was Remus's conscience, for he did still have a conscience, nearly buried though it was at the moment under a blizzard of lust.
With his tongue, though, he could, he'd done it before. He bypassed Teddy's cock, his bollocks, lifting his thighs instead, and Teddy cooperated, bending himself nearly in half so that Remus could reach his pink wrinkled hole and gabble the cleaning spell before he speared into it with his tongue. Yes, oh fuck, he loved this, he always loved rimming his partners, and Teddy was so responsive, crying out and rocking onto him, his hands working at his cock...
Remus stopped, wrenched himself up so that he could see Teddy's face. The pause made Teddy open his eyes, panting.
"Don't... touch... yourself," Remus growled, and Teddy's eyes went wide and he nodded at whatever he saw in Remus's face, his hands dropping down to grasp obediently at the duvet instead.
After waiting a moment to make sure Teddy would obey, Remus returned to Teddy's arsehole. Having stopped, he was able to exercise a fraction more control, rubbing over the tight flesh with the breadth of his tongue, letting his saliva trickle inside as the muscle began to relax. He moved as slowly as he could, suspecting that Teddy could come just from this if he weren't careful, and he wanted to delay that as long as he possibly could.
But god it was difficult, with Teddy making such delicious needy noises above him, and his own prick aching. He let himself hump against the bed, just a little, as he licked and sucked and gradually pushed his tongue deeper and deeper into the hot tight channel that quivered under his ministrations.
The sounds Teddy was making were becoming more desperate, filled with almost-indistinguishable words like "please" and "dad" and "love," and Remus pulled away, breathing hard, forcing himself to wait, to make Teddy wait. "No, please," he heard Teddy whimper, but he tugged Teddy's legs down, licked along the crease of his thighs. Teddy's bollocks were tight and high in their fuzzy sac, and Remus took them gently into his mouth, jostling them just a bit, hearing Teddy gasp.
He stayed there, nuzzling against the base of Teddy's cock but not otherwise touching it, just licking at his balls and holding his legs firmly in place, for as long as he could bear. At last, though, he swept his tongue upward along the hot pulsing length of Teddy's prick, over the ridge of foreskin and up to the slit, where he tasted the thin sharp taste of precome briefly, carefully, not licking firmly enough to let Teddy reach orgasm.
Teddy whimpered, still clutching at the duvet, and he squirmed, and Remus held his legs more firmly, not wanting Teddy to gain any extra friction. The boy wasn't going to come until Remus let him come, dammit.
Remus took the head of Teddy's cock in his mouth, then, and held it for a moment, savouring the dribble of precome that he found there, barely swirling his tongue over it as Teddy continued to whine and whimper and thrust as best he could under Remus's restraint. He worked his mouth over the head and shaft, then, a little more firmly, tormenting Teddy, bringing him close--he could tell, for Teddy's noises increased in volume and in urgency--and then he stopped, taking his mouth off, still holding his son to the bed.
If Teddy wanted to learn, then Teddy was going to learn, dammit. Remus wasn't going to let him come, no matter how much he moved or loudly he keened. Not yet.
Remus released one of Teddy's thighs and brought his hand to Teddy's cock, making a wide loop with his fingers, not quite touching it.
"Dad, oh my god, please," Teddy demanded.
"Please what, Ted?" Remus increased the pressure on the thigh he was still holding, probably, he thought, hard enough to leave fingerprint bruises. Good.
"Please--touch--" Teddy stammered, "Please!"
Remus dragged a fingertip over the head of Teddy's cock, dipping into the slit which was welling up with more precome. "Is this what you want, my boy?" His voice was a low rasp, choked with lust and ravaged by the outcome of the decision he'd made with his body instead of with his mind.
"Dad, you know--I want--fuck!"
Remus dragged the fingertip down the length of Teddy's shaft, still teasing--no, tormenting. There was nothing fun or playful about this anymore, not with the wolf two days away, not with the guilt and shame and arousal all warring inside Remus. Teddy had given him no choice, not really--Remus might never have explained to Teddy the full consequences of lycanthropy, but Teddy had studied Dark creatures in school, he could have, ought to have, known them for himself--and now Remus would give Teddy none.
"I will not fuck you today," he said, denial and promise all in one.
"Then do something, please," Teddy begged, his body bucking under Remus's restraint, his cock nearly purple, so dark it was with blood.
He would have bitten hard into the soft juncture of hip and thigh, marked Teddy there, but he dared not--Remus never risked that, never. Not with any of his lovers and certainly not with his son. Instead he held even tighter, used his tongue to trace the visible vein on the underside of Teddy's prick from base to tip, feeling Teddy tremble.
"Something?" he breathed as he reached the head, fluttering his lips against the tender flesh. "Oh, something." And then he left Teddy's cock altogether, rising up to rub his face over Teddy's belly, up the mostly-hairless skin of his chest to his nipples. The roughness of stubble on Remus's cheek was enough to make Teddy whimper again, writhing to get more of the sensation.
Teddy's hands clutched at Remus's shoulders now, but Remus hadn't forbidden that. "Can't bear it, god," he cried.
"You can't bear it?" Remus leaned over Teddy. "Oh, but you can. You will. You wanted to have me at any cost, and now you'll pay the price you must."
A price that was not, in fact, so demanding--merely that of delay, even if to the point of near-pain, Remus reassured himself. This was merely another kind of lesson.
Beneath him Teddy stilled, perhaps at last realising what it was that Remus intended. "Yes." He spoke the word gravely, an admission, an acceptance.
The incipient anger that had lain beneath all that Remus had been doing to Teddy suddenly dissolved. The lust was still there, oh yes, but Remus knew that Teddy understood what it was he had done, why Remus was refusing to let him come, and now Remus could carry on with it as a true lesson, without the same undercurrent of revenge for the guilt Teddy made him feel. He couldn't make himself stop, not now, but his emotions had shifted.
Teddy touched Remus's cheek, an almost-apology, though his body still quivered with unsatisfied desire. "Whatever you demand, I'll pay." His voice was so adult that Remus's throat constricted, and he merely nodded in acknowledgment.
"Good boy." It was nearly a growl, low in Remus's throat, a praise and a warning together. Remus took a moment to reach between his thighs and adjust his cock before he continued, hoping Teddy wouldn't notice what he was doing.
Dammit, of course he noticed.
"No, Teddy." Remus jerked his hand from between his legs and pinned Teddy to the bed by his arms, holding him just above his elbows. "You told me you'd do as I say, pay the toll I ask, and I haven't asked anything of you yet. I especially haven't asked you to touch me, or to offer to touch me." The low growl seemed to subdue Teddy, so Remus kept at it.
"You, my son, are going to lie exactly where you are. You are not going to touch yourself, and you are not going to touch me. I am going to do what I like to you, when I want to do it, and however I want to do it, and I will bring you to orgasm when I am good and ready, and not a moment before. Do you understand?"
Teddy's eyes were wide, and darker than Remus had ever seen them. He merely nodded, pressing his lips together as if he were trying to hold in emotion. Remus understood. It wouldn't to do be emotional in front of the alpha wolf. Submissive, though--yes. And Teddy was arching his back off the bed ever so slightly, pushing his tender belly up towards his father. Remus wondered if Teddy even realised he was doing it, or if it was from something so deep, so primal, that Teddy did it without knowing.
Remus lowered his mouth to Teddy's tender white throat and sucked at the skin there, not quite biting. Teddy whimpered in the back of his throat, and the noise sent a frisson of need through Remus, one that he did his best to ignore. Control, he reminded himself, Keep hold of yourself--you can take care of your cock when Teddy's done and gone.
"Now," Remus said, "I told you I wasn't going to fuck you today, and I'm not. But I want you to imagine it for now. Can you? Imagine how it will feel to have my cock buried inside you. It'll be bigger than the plug you used, Ted. You'll ache--you'll burn. Can you almost feel it inside you? Tell me, Teddy."
"Ohfuck," Teddy gasped, as Remus reached between his legs and ghosted a fingertip across his arsehole. "Yes--full, better than the plug, god." His hole twitched, greedy, grasping for Remus's finger.
No time to go searching for lubricant. As he'd told Teddy, charms were less satisfactory, but better than nothing, and Remus murmured one now, feeling the sudden slickness that let his fingertip slip inside, though he stopped at the first knuckle, moving it in tiny circles.
"This is nothing," Remus told him. "The merest taste."
Teddy bit his lip. "Yesss..." he hissed, but he held still, and in response Remus pushed further into him.
"You see that patience will be rewarded," he said, beginning to thrust the single finger slowly in and out, watching the beads of sweat break out around Teddy's hairline.
"...rewarded," Teddy echoed.
"Yes." Remus licked away a salty trickle, ran his tongue down Teddy's neck and when Teddy turned his head, along the tender skin behind his ear. "Talk to me. How does this make you feel?"
"Good. Ah." Teddy moaned as Remus found his prostate and brushed over it. "Fuck. Not enough. Like the plug I used, I wanted more, wanted to be filled, fuller."
"Like this?" Remus withdrew, then reentered with two fingers. Teddy shook. He was close, so close--Remus left both fingers there, but held still.
"That. More even. Ohgod, ohgod, please."
"You will wait," Remus reminded him, and Teddy nodded, his eyes squeezed shut. "Keep talking."
Teddy swallowed, hesitated, and then it was as if a dam burst and the words spilled out in a torrent. "Feels so good to have you there, fuck, every move you make makes me burn, like sparks going up my spine, wish it were your cock inside me instead of your fingers, fucking me, opening me, I've dreamed of it wished for it wanted it, know you don't want it the way I do but I want you to be the first, want to remember you taking me, fucking me, loving me even if it's not real, ohfuck, need you so badly, please, please more Dad, please!"
Something bent inside Remus's chest, nearly to the point of snapping, but he clenched his teeth and squeezed shut his eyes and made do with thrusting his two fingers in and out of Teddy's arsehole. Yes, he wanted all of that, too, wanted to be Teddy's first, never forgotten, wanted to be inside him so badly, but he controlled his shuddering breaths and forced himself to concentrate, concentrate and keep moving his fingers. And keep talking, he demanded of himself, lest Teddy guess that something was about to break.
"Another finger, Ted," he growled, and he eased a third into Teddy's arsehole, and Teddy let out a single sob.
"I won't ask you again, Dad, I won't, I won't, I promise," Teddy said over and over again, but Remus knew that asking was exactly what he was doing--begging, even, for Remus's cock to fill him, to relieve him of the burden of his virginity.
But Remus concentrated on his fingers moving and twisting inside Teddy, stretching him nearly as wide as a cock would--as wide as Remus's cock would--but, god, no, he couldn't.
"Yes, we can," whispered Teddy, and that was when Remus realised he'd said that out loud.
"Teddy, you'll stop that," Remus barked, thrusting his fingers in a little harder than he'd intended. Teddy yowled and arched up, impaling himself on Remus's searching fingers.
"Dad, again!" Teddy's cock was bobbing up and down, leaking precome that stretched in sticky strands between its tip and his belly, but true to his promise, he still hadn't touched it. He still gripped the duvet so tightly that the veins stood out on the backs of his hands.
Remus thrust into him hard, again, and wished, then damned himself for wishing, that it were his cock instead of his fingers that was making Teddy howl and cry and grip and tremble like that.
"Need you, need you," Teddy chanted, the words coming in an almost indecipherable string now, and Remus ached. He couldn't take this anymore. He undid his trousers with the hand that wasn't violating Teddy, freeing his trapped cock, bringing himself one step closer to exactly what he'd promised Teddy--and himself--that he wouldn't do.
And he still wouldn't do it, he told himself, but the voice in his head sounded less and less certain with each passing moment. No. If he couldn't... he wouldn't... No! This was not the promised lesson, this was not the time, no matter how much he wanted it or Teddy did, and he would not be ruled by the wolf.
Almost in despair, unable to think of another way to stop himself, he twisted around to bring his head down to Teddy's groin once more. If he let Teddy come, let himself do the same, he wouldn't be able to fuck him. Not tonight.
Pumping his fingers inside Teddy's body, he closed his mouth around Teddy's cock, taking it deep into his throat and swallowing, nearly choking--he hadn't done this often, he was out of practise--and Teddy shouted, his arse clenching around Remus's fingers, his cock jerking as the semen spilled out of it and down Remus's throat. "Dad!"
Remus hadn't come yet. He was so hard, fuck, who wouldn't be, after this, and Teddy was still open to him, still slick with the remnants of the lubricating spell. It would be so easy to take him. He was stretched out, ready... and Remus had promised to do this. Promised for another time. Not for today.
He growled, torn between lust and honour, wolf and father and teacher vying within him for dominance. He could go ahead and fuck his son. He could pull away, bring himself off, end this now. He could...
He compromised, as he had done so many, many times before that he felt weary just thinking of it.
"Suck me, then," he rasped, rolling over, still clothed, only his cock bared.
Teddy didn't hesitate, for all that he'd seemed to be limp from the force of his orgasm. He growled almost as loudly as Remus had, flinging himself on his father, pulling his trousers further down to press his face to Remus's thighs, nipping, licking, sucking the skin, running his tongue up Remus's cock and engulfing the head in wet warmth.
Remus nearly spent in that instant. He couldn't have said why he held back, except that a moment later Teddy's finger sneaked past his bollocks to rub against his arsehole, and Remus groaned. There. Yes. That was what he needed.
"Say the spell, Dad," Teddy pulled away long enough to ask, and Remus did, the cool slickness filling him.
"How many should I--" Teddy began, but Remus interrupted.
"Just do it, Ted." He knew he wouldn't last long after Teddy breached him.
A single finger teased around his entrance, and it took all the strength Remus possessed not to snarl at Teddy to just put the damned thing in, already. He huffed and sighed and thrust into the air, and then simultaneously, and before Remus expected either, Teddy's mouth was around his cock and Teddy's finger was inside his arse, crooking, caressing, and Teddy soon followed it with a second finger, stretching Remus's hole.
Teddy obviously didn't have the first clue what he was doing--the movements of his fingers inside Remus's arse were jerky and uncertain, but Remus didn't care, not then, not with Teddy's tongue swirling around the head of his cock, devouring his dribbling precome, not with Teddy moving his lips down the shaft, trying to take in as much of Remus's cock as Remus had of Teddy's own.
Teddy gagged a little. "Pull back," Remus snapped, and Teddy did. The last thing Remus needed was for Teddy to choke and scare himself and not complete his task.
"One more finger," Remus directed, and then there was a third slim finger probing at his entrance, easing its way in, more slowly than Remus could stand. "You won't hurt me," he groaned, "Ted, come on--"
And then it was in, and Teddy was fucking him with three fingers and hollowing his cheeks around Remus's cock, and there was no more holding back, and Remus let go of any morality he had left inside him and came with a great shout, pouring himself into Teddy's mouth, feeling the increased pressure as Teddy tried to swallow his load of semen.
Remus swore and thrust up into Teddy's mouth one final time, then pulled away and milked the last emissions from his cock, falling back against the pillows, sweating, panting. He coughed and sighed and cringed when Teddy crawled up alongside him, pressing his naked body to Remus's mostly-clothed one.
"Dad," Teddy whispered.
Remus flung an arm over his eyes, taking a moment before he could answer.
"Dad," said Teddy again. "I--I didn't mean to--"
"You did," Remus said dully. Now that it was over, shame clouded everything, for all that he still could almost feel Teddy's fingers inside him, still wanted more than that. "Don't say you didn't. It demeans us both."
"All right then, I did." Teddy sounded angry and he clutched at Remus's chest. "I wanted you. And you must have wanted me, too. And you made me feel, god, I can't even explain it. This is what I need. You. Teaching me. I know you're in love with Sam." Now his voice choked a little. "I understand that. I do. I'm not... not trying to come between you, honestly I'm not."
"How can I believe you, Ted? You're certainly doing a good job at seeming to."
"Because I think I might be falling for Andrew." Teddy gulped. "That's why it hurts so much, that he won't be honest. But you showed me that I have to be honest too."
"You didn't need to tempt me into having sex," Remus forced himself to put it into the plain words, "for that." He took his arm away from his eyes and looked directly at Teddy.
"No. I shouldn't have. You're right, I meant to do it, but I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry. Well, sort of sorry, because it was brilliant for me... and I thought all right for you?"
Remus sighed. "Ted... just because I got off doesn't mean it was all right."
"I know." Teddy scrubbed a hand over his eyes. "And now you'll probably say that we can't ever finish the lessons at all."
"That would probably be the wisest thing to do." Remus paused. "But I've not shown a great deal of wisdom in this whole affair, and I did promise that we would finish. I'm going to add one more condition, though, and I think you can guess what it will be."
"Never to try to seduce you again," said Teddy.
"That's it exactly," said Remus. Teddy reached for him and started to say something, but Remus sat up and began putting his clothing to rights.
"Never," Remus interrupted. "Not ever. I don't care what happens. The lessons will stop if you ever again make an attempt to do anything like what you did tonight. Do you understand?" He stood, buttoned and fastened, but still red-faced and tousle-haired.
Teddy was sitting on the bed, his legs crossed. He hung his head.
"Yes," he said. "Yes, Dad. I understand, and I'm sorry."
Remus sighed, then turned and made his way to the door. His stomach rumbled, and he thought of the chicken he'd bought. It was much later than he'd expected to eat.
He turned back. "Get dressed, Teddy, and meet me in the kitchen. I'll start dinner."