|Celandine's Chronicle (celandineb) wrote in cels_fic_haven,|
@ 2008-12-29 09:34:00
|Entry tags:||coauthor: emiime, hp fic andrew/teddy, hp fic better the instruction, hp fic remus/sam, hp fic remus/teddy|
HP fic: Better the Instruction (22/22) [Remus/Teddy, Remus/Sam, Teddy/Andrew, adult]
Title: Better the Instruction (22/22)
Authors: celandineb and emiime
Chapter pairings: Remus/Teddy, Remus/Sam, Teddy/Andrew; references to Remus/Sirius, Remus/other men.
Chapter rating: adult
Chapter length: ~7200 words
Warnings: Incest, anal sex, nipple clamps, rimming, first time.
Summary: Remus and Teddy complete their final lesson. Teddy and Andrew take care of Remus's plants--and something else--when Sam and Remus go on holiday.
Note: AU (Remus survived the war). See here for complete story header with all pairings/warnings. Also here.
Remus drew in a shuddering breath and raised his head from where it lay on his son's chest.
"Teddy," he said, "My boy. Come here." And he took Teddy's face with both hands and kissed his silent mouth.
"Dad," Teddy finally said, when they had broken the kiss, "Dad--that was--oh, god." Remus himself was similarly incoherent; in response, he just held Teddy close, their sweat-damp chests sticking together. His cock was softening inside Teddy's arse, but he didn't want to break their connection yet. He couldn't let it go. Not yet.
Instead, he covered Teddy's face and neck with languorous kisses, not regretting a moment of what they had just done--and, though he was spent and probably wouldn't get hard again, still anticipating what was yet to come.
He knew Teddy was hard, could feel the boy's erection, insistent between their bodies, but wondered if he could possibly convince his son to take a bit of a break between rounds. With a sigh, he shifted, slipping out of Teddy's loosened hole, and Teddy cried out and clutched at him when he realised what was going on, but too late, Remus had already done it. He lay next to Teddy on his side, propping his head up on his elbow, stroking his son's hair.
"Gorgeous," he said, echoing Teddy's words from earlier. "My boy."
Moisture glistened on Teddy's cheek. Remus suddenly realised that it was tears, not sweat. "Ted?" he asked, his voice rough with fear that he'd hurt Teddy after all. "Are you all right?"
Teddy nodded, but then his face crumpled and he let out a sob, pressing against Remus's chest. Remus automatically put his arms around his son, patting his back. Teddy never cried--not even when he had fallen off his broom during the summer holiday when he was twelve, and it had been three hours before they had gotten him to St Mungo's to have his broken arm mended.
His words were half-incoherent, spoken into Remus's skin. "'S okay--just wanted--not hurt--oh, I want--never--love you." Teddy lifted a blotchy face. "I didn't say it then. I didn't. I love you, Dad."
It was a good thing Teddy hadn't said it while Remus was still inside him, that was true. Too much, too confusing. But now, now, there was only one more step in their lessons, and Remus need not maintain the same level of control for that one. He could manage, even if he said, "I love you, too," and kissed Teddy the way he had kissed Sirius long ago. Afterward, though, he was compelled to add, "Not as I love Sam, or as maybe you'll love someone someday, whether Andrew or someone else. But I do love you."
Teddy's face went even pinker. He looked away and mumbled, "I know. I--I do love Andrew. I told him so. And he loves me."
"Oh, Ted." Remus pulled Teddy closer again, having no other way to express how glad he was. Andrew had his problems, but didn't everyone? If Teddy loved him, and the feeling was reciprocated, Remus couldn't be anything but happy for his son.
With a sigh, Teddy kissed Remus's shoulder. "I guess the way I feel about Andrew isn't exactly the same as I feel about you, Dad. But I'm not at all sorry for what we've done, honestly I'm not. Only that it's nearly over."
"I understand." Remus said. "You know I was reluctant to agree to begin with, and it hasn't been easy." Now that was an understatement. "In fact, I've found it extremely difficult at times, trying to balance what you wanted with what I could give, and not let either of us become too emotionally attached in ways that could be harmful. But I think we've managed."
"We have... mostly, anyhow."
"Good." Remus thought that was an apt description of his own feelings on the matter. Mostly he was all right with the realisation both that he'd actually fucked his son, and that he never would again--but there would always be a small stab of guilt to have done it, and a pang of regret to know that there would never be another time.
He stroked Teddy's back a moment longer, holding him close, then cleared his throat. "I suppose you're ready to..." he said, trailing off, and for a moment, he was ashamed at himself for being unable to say it, when all along he'd been honest with his son, using all the proper terminology.
"I'm... not, actually," Teddy said. "Um." He looked down, and so did Remus, to find that Teddy's erection had softened between them--Remus assumed it had happened when Teddy had become overwhelmed by emotion.
"It's all right," said Remus, "I believe that's happened to every man on the planet once or twice." He gave a chuckle. "Just be glad you're a teenager and can get stiff again, and not an old man like me." He couldn't help but indulge in a little self-deprecation.
"Dad, don't," said Teddy in the softest, most earnestly pleading voice Remus had ever heard him use. "Please. Not today."
Remus knew Teddy was right, and he said so, and kissed him. "I'm sorry," he added.
When they had kissed and caressed each other a while longer, Remus manoeuvred a hand between them and gave a few soft touches to Teddy's half-hard cock in an attempt to reawaken it. Teddy hummed and pressed forward into Remus's hand, his eyes closed and his head thrown back. Remus studied the look of intense concentration on his son's face, memorising it.
Everything inside Remus wanted him to stop what he was doing. He wasn't ready physically to be fucked by his son--his ageing body wanted to roll over and take a nap more than anything else--and he wasn't ready emotionally to have it all over with. But they couldn't lounge about with each other all day--though Remus planned for them to do a fair amount of that after Teddy had fucked him--and it had to end at some point. It had to. And so, despite his protesting body and his quavering emotions, Remus did his best to coax Teddy's cock back into a state of stiffness.
"Hold on," Teddy said when his cock proved to be somewhat reluctant. "Maybe we should take these off." He indicated the clamps adorning his nipples.
"Are you sure?" Remus asked. "You do remember how much they hurt the first time?"
Teddy nodded. "Yeah, but, um, I kind of like that hurt. And they're becoming a bit--I don't know. I can feel them, but I'm numb, so they're not really doing anything for me anymore. But if you took them off me..."
"Yes," said Remus, when Teddy trailed off, and he left off stroking Teddy's half-erection and began to unscrew the clamps that held Teddy's nipples captive.
"Ah--fuck," Teddy swore as the blood rushed back to the area, and Remus reached down quickly to see what the result was. Teddy's cock was stiffening further, and Remus kissed Teddy's nipples as it became fully hard in his hand. It was evident that Teddy enjoyed a bit of pain; maybe more than a bit, even, judging from his questions about that topic earlier. Well, so had Sirius, on occasion, and so had one or two of Remus's other lovers over the years.
Remus licked over the slightly swollen flesh where the clamps had pinched hardest. "Okay, Ted?"
"Yeah." Teddy let out a shuddering sigh and shifted a little. "Feels good."
"Good." With one more kiss to each nipple, Remus sat back. "Now. You wanted us facing each other before, and that was fine. But it's probably better, especially your first time, if I'm on my hands and knees and you're behind me; the angle is easier, and there's less to distract you. Plus, I have to warn you that I'm not sure how long I would be able to hold another position."
Teddy's face was soft with disappointment. "So you're saying we can't look at each other when I'm inside you."
"I'm sorry. I know you'd prefer that, but my honest opinion is that what I'm suggesting will be better for both of us," said Remus.
After a long moment Teddy nodded. "Okay, if you think that, then I'll accept it."
"The other thing I want to say before you start is that you shouldn't worry if I don't come again. As I hinted, I simply might not be able to, and that's not a reflection on you at all; just of the fact that I'm not as young as I used to be. It doesn't mean I won't be enjoying it, either." Remus touched Teddy's cheek. "I'm sure I will."
"I hope so," said Teddy, looking serious. "You made it so good for me, I want you to feel good too."
Remus smiled. "I'll talk while we're doing it, shall I? Since you won't be able to see my face, that will help you know how I'm feeling." The way Teddy had had such a filthy mouth while Remus was fucking him had been far more arousing than Remus had expected, and he rather anticipated returning the favour.
"Yes," Teddy said enthusiastically. "Please. That would be great." He put his arms around Remus and kissed him again, overwhelming in the sheer forceful eagerness of it.
Remus couldn't help but laugh, a laugh of sheer blissful happiness unshadowed by the ever-nearing end of all of their lessons, forever. He kissed Teddy back, then held him at arm's length for a moment.
Teddy squirmed, and he gave a laugh, too. "What is it, Dad?"
"I just wanted to get a good look at the man who's going to fuck me," Remus said, surprising Teddy, and surprising himself a little, too.
"Oh," said Teddy, colouring. "Well." Clearly, he didn't know how to respond to Remus's statement, but Remus didn't regret saying it.
Remus drew him close again and kissed him, then sat up. "All right," he said. "Are you ready to do this?"
Teddy nodded violently. "Yes. Yes. Can I lick you, first, please, like you did to me?"
Remus swallowed. "Oh, god, Teddy. Yes. Of course you can. I want you to." And he did, but more, he wanted Teddy to have the same opportunity he'd taken himself when he'd licked Teddy--to revel in the smell of the most intimate part of him, to perhaps store it away somewhere in his memory.
He got on his hands and knees, and Teddy settled himself behind him and whispered the cleansing spell. Remus felt Teddy's hands running over his thighs and buttocks, then Teddy spread him open and pressed kisses all down his crack, over his hole, and onto his perineum and bollocks as well. Then Remus felt Teddy's nose nuzzling him--yes, Teddy was taking the opportunity presented to him. Remus knew that scent was the strongest sense tied to memory. He knew he would always remember the way Teddy smelled--and he hoped Teddy would remember him, too.
When Teddy's tongue finally swiped over his hole, Remus shuddered, and his cock made a feeble attempt at a twitch. He pressed back against Teddy's intruding tongue and remembered he'd promised to talk while they were doing this.
"God, Teddy, that's wonderful," he gasped. "If I were eighteen years old, I'd be hard as a bloody rock right now. As it is, you're turning me on--god, yes, son, just like that." For Teddy had pushed forward, working his tongue past the tight muscle that guarded Remus's hole, making enthusiastic noises as he explored.
"My good boy," he continued, "yes, keep it up, you're brilliant."
Teddy made a noise that Remus interpreted as embarrassment at the praise, but his hands clutched more tightly at Remus's thighs, and his tongue slipped deeper.
"That's lovely, oh yes, press your lips to me and try sucking--oh, just like that, mm, you can touch my bollocks too, yes, wonderful." Remus stopped himself from adding Andrew doesn't know how lucky he is. He thought it, but selfishly he didn't want to say it, didn't want to have Teddy thinking about anyone else just now.
"Oh, that feels good, Ted, however long you want to do this I'm happy to have you keep on with it." And Remus kept talking, repeating himself as he continued to tell Teddy how hot it felt to have his son rimming him, how much it excited him.
At last, though, Teddy pulled away, resting his forehead against one of Remus's buttocks for a moment. "My jaw's tired," he said apologetically.
Remus craned his neck around to look at his son. "That's perfectly all right," he said reassuringly, and Teddy nodded and reached for the lube.
"Guess I'll go on, then."
Remus saw Teddy swallow hard as he slicked his cock, and then Teddy's fingers were on Remus, the lube cool for an instant but quickly warming as Teddy slathered it on. Teddy closed the bottle and tossed it aside, taking a deep breath.
"Should I stretch you some more, like you did to me?"
"You needn't. Take it slowly, and I'll be fine." Remus suspected that Teddy would have some trouble holding back if he had to wait much longer; he let his head fall forward again as his son's cock pressed against his waiting arsehole.
"Go on, Ted," murmured Remus. "Slow and steady, that's right."
He felt the stretch as Teddy breached him.
"Careful--not too fast," Remus reminded Teddy.
"Sorry, sorry," Teddy said, and slowed down, pushing steadily but showing admirable restraint in not slamming home; Remus knew that he himself would not have been as thoughtful at that age.
Teddy's cock was warm and solid inside him. Remus let out a contented breath. It should have felt wrong. It should have felt utterly, utterly wrong--and yet it felt completely right to Remus, to have his son inside him.
He bowed his head, just listening to Teddy's breathing and to his own, feeling the grip of Teddy's fingertips on his hips, the bulk of Teddy's cock in his hole.
"You can go ahead and move now, Teddy," he said after a moment, and before he had even finished his sentence, Teddy had started to thrust, just short thrusts at first, but soon he gained confidence as Remus encouraged him and he began to fuck Remus in earnest.
"Oh, my god, Dad," Teddy gasped behind him, moving even faster. "Dad, I can't believe--this is brilliant!"
He sounded so childlike, so wondering, that Remus couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, Teddy. I do love you." The words slipped out before he'd realised he was going to say them, but when he paused to measure their effect, they didn't feel strange. Besides, Teddy was too caught up in doing what he was doing, Remus supposed, to overthink such simple words.
"You're so good at this," Remus said, and it was true--though his rhythm was rough, Teddy seemed to be taking well to his occupation, and Remus was about to continue praising him when Teddy shifted and hit Remus's prostate.
Remus gasped, seeing stars, and his cock twitched with interest.
"Is that it, Dad?" Teddy asked. "Did I--fuck--did I hit it?"
"You did," Remus choked, and he gave his cock a few light touches. He knew he wouldn't--couldn't--get hard again, but it felt good to touch himself nonetheless.
"Dad, I--I don't think I'm going to last," Teddy confessed then. "I'm sorry--fuck--"
Remus shook his head. "Don't be sorry, Teddy. Do what feels good. I want you to come inside me."
Just saying those words sent a thrill through him, the breaking of a taboo an excitement like nothing else.
"Ohgod, yes." Teddy's voice was strangled. He sped up, slamming into Remus's hips. "Going to--ohfuck, oh, Dad!"
Teddy collapsed over Remus's back, panting in hot bursts against his skin. Remus eased himself down into a more comfortable position where his knees wouldn't ache with holding up the weight of an extra body, and felt Teddy's cock slip a little, letting a trickle of semen drip across Remus's bollocks.
"That was brilliant," said Teddy again, mumbling sleepily. He pressed kisses onto Remus's shoulder. "Really."
Remus didn't want to lose the last contact, but he wanted to see Teddy's face, hold him close, so he urged, "Roll over." When Teddy had slid off his back, Remus turned over and pulled Teddy to him, regardless of sweat and come pooling sticky on their skins.
"You were pretty brilliant yourself," Remus said softly, kissing Teddy's closed eyelids. Teddy smiled.
"Thanks, Dad. For a first time, you mean."
"Not just for a first time," contradicted Remus. He smoothed Teddy's sweat-damp fringe back from his forehead. "I've been with men who had years of experience and were less good as lovers than you were just now. It's not just the number of times you have sex, it's how you do it, paying attention to your partner as well as yourself."
Teddy's face went pink and he burrowed it into Remus's neck. "I tried to do it like you did, that's all."
Warmth spread throughout Remus's body at the words. "That's the best compliment you could possibly give me." All his indecision about whether he should teach Teddy in this way, all the guilt and discomfort he'd felt from time to time--none of that meant anything compared with the trust and respect implied by Teddy's simple statement.
A yawn overtook him. "Sorry--no comment on you, I assure you."
Teddy laughed. "I'm kind of wiped out myself now."
"Would you like to sleep?" Remus asked, and he held out his arms.
Teddy burrowed into the embrace. "More than anything, Dad," he answered.
Remus realised, as Teddy snuggled against him, that they hadn't cuddled close and slept like this since Teddy was a very small boy. Perhaps, he hoped, when they awoke, they would have come full circle--from father and son to the lovers Remus swore they would never be, and back to just father and son again.
As he listened to Teddy's breathing evening out, Remus tried to reflect coherently on all they had done together, but he was really as tired as he had said, and soon he found himself drifting, holding Teddy close.
He awoke suddenly from a dream he couldn't quite remember, convinced that Sam was in the house. He froze and clutched Teddy to him, listening for the slightest creak of floorboards or shriek of door hinges.
He held his breath and listened.
When he heard nothing, he forced himself to believe it was all a part of his dream, and he breathed again and rolled over and looked at the clock. It was early evening--he and Teddy had had a nice long nap together.
He awakened his son with kisses, some of the last, he knew, that they would ever share--the last of this nature, anyway. He kissed Teddy on the forehead and on his eyelids, on his nose and on both cheeks, and finally on his mouth, rousing Teddy from the depths of sleep.
"Time to wake up, Ted," he coaxed, and Teddy moaned and stretched with seeming reluctance, not opening his eyes.
"I was having the nicest dream," he murmured, and he pressed a languorous kiss to Remus's chest.
"It's over now, though, Ted," Remus said, brushing a lock of hair from Teddy's forehead. "Time to wake."
Teddy grumbled and sighed but finally opened his eyes, blinking the sleep from them. "'m all sticky."
"So am I. Just a minute." Remus crawled a little stiffly out of bed and went to the bathroom. Dampening a towel under the tap, he glanced in the mirror and laughed softly at the red creases over his face. He wiped himself down, then rinsed the towel and took it back to the bedroom where Teddy was now sitting with his feet dangling over the side of the bed.
After a moment's hesitation, he said, "Stand up." He cleaned Teddy off as impersonally as he could, ignoring the way that Teddy's cock responded to his touches. "You can shower if you'd rather?"
"No." Teddy shook his head almost violently. "No, this is fine." He began to pull on his clothes, and Remus did likewise.
"I was going to cook a roast for us, but it's later than I expected. How would you feel about just getting some takeaway?" Remus asked. "Curry or fish and chips or whatever you'd like."
"Fish and chips," Teddy decided. "I haven't had that since Christmas Eve, I don't think."
Teddy went to fetch their dinner, and Remus tidied up the bedroom, clearing away all traces of their activity except those that lingered in his own body, and those would be gone soon enough. He went to his study and found the piece of parchment on which he'd written out the plan for their lessons, still disguised as a grocery list, and put it away with a few other very private mementos. By the time he'd done all that, Teddy was back again, pulling out plates from the cupboard and putting the fish and chips and peas on them.
"I just want to ask, Ted," said Remus, sprinkling vinegar over his portion with a lavish hand, "how you're feeling about everything I've taught you, now."
Teddy poked at his fish with his fork, then nibbled at a chip before answering. "I'm not sorry about any of it, if that's what you mean."
"Well, that, but I was wondering more if you thought it was worthwhile. The whole point was so that you'd learn at least the basics in a way that wouldn't be dangerous, as it might have been with a stranger or even with another boy your own age like Andrew who didn't know much either. So do you feel like you learned what you hoped?"
Teddy turned his face towards Remus's gaze, and he gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes--a smile that Remus didn't quite believe. "I definitely do," he said.
Remus didn't want to push, but he knew they wouldn't have another chance to have this conversation, and he needed an answer to his question, if only to settle his own mind. So he asked again.
"Somehow, Ted, I don't quite believe you. Are you sure?"
Teddy ducked his head and murmured something that sounded like I'll get over it.
"What's that, Ted?" Remus was genuinely curious now, and he paused with a chip halfway to his mouth.
"Sorry. I." Teddy lifted his head again. "I just said I'm probably going to take a while to get over this--not being able to have you anymore, not in the way we've been doing. But, yes, Dad, I really did learn everything I'd hoped to learn, and, um. Thank you. So much."
Remus bit into the chip and chewed thoughtfully, then reached over and gave his son's hand a squeeze. "If it makes you feel better, Ted, you're not the only one who learned quite a bit during our encounters. Though what I learned is probably harder to describe in words, trust that I did learn plenty."
"Oh. Okay." Teddy clearly had no idea what Remus was talking about, but that was just as well, Remus supposed.
"Sam and I are going to be leaving for our holiday the weekend after next," Remus said, surprising even himself with how rapidly he switched subjects. "Is there anything you'd like me to bring back from France for you?"
"Oh--um. No. I don't think so," Teddy replied. Remus would bring Teddy back a souvenir anyway, and he made a mental note to bring something for Andrew as well.
"I suppose you and Andrew will have a good time while we're gone," said Remus, with no need for a wink or a nudge--he was sure Teddy knew exactly what he meant. "Do you think the two of you could manage to water my houseplants?"
"How long are you going to be gone?"
"About ten days. We're taking a late Portkey on Friday evening, and we'll be back Sunday night the following week. Most of the plants would be all right, but the ferns need water more often than that."
"Sure, Dad. Write up a list of when each should be watered and we'll do it." Teddy swiped a finger through the drips of vinegar and scattered salt on his plate and sucked it. Remus swallowed and glanced down, concentrating on picking up a forkful of peas. "Um. Would it be all right if I, we, stayed overnight maybe? You know Andrew likes to cook, and your kitchen has every kind of weird spice and odd-shaped pan he could ever want to use."
"That's a pretty transparent excuse, but yes, you may stay here while I'm gone. Just leave the place tidy, all right?"
"Of course." Teddy put on a mock-indignant face. "What do you think I'd do?"
"Leave it the way your flat usually looks." Remus raised his eyebrows. "You may borrow any of my books, too, if you want."
Teddy grinned. "I'd like that. We, uh, looked through one of them together last time. Andrew thought it was cool that you lent them to me. Maybe I'll take a couple away tonight."
"That's fine. I'll owl you the plant-watering list sometime in the next two weeks." Remus stood and started to clear away the plates. "There's some treacle tart in the cupboard if you want any."
"No thanks." Teddy came up behind Remus and put his arms around Remus's waist. "I should probably be going; I told Andrew I'd Floo-call him tonight when I get home."
Remus turned around to hug Teddy properly. "All right. I'm very happy for you that things are going well with Andrew, and I hope they keep on that way."
"Me, too." Teddy's hair was changing colour to magenta, but when he saw that Remus had noticed it, he put it back to brown. "I'm glad you're going on your holiday with Sam, myself. I mean, not that I'm glad you're going away. Glad that it's with Sam. He's great."
"Yes, he is." Remus felt his mouth stretch in a fond smile. He gave Teddy one last squeeze, then let go.
"You should get home," he said, "And I should--" he looked at the clock; he had been going to say "get to bed", but it was much earlier than he thought. "I should make a Floo call myself," he amended. He would call Sam; they could talk a bit about their upcoming trip and Remus could tell him that everything was all right with Teddy.
"Okay," said Teddy, and he gave a resolute sort of nod. He almost looked as if he were going to say something else, but he just shut his mouth and shook his head and smiled.
"I'll see you, Dad," he said, and he turned and walked towards the fireplace.
Remus watched him go, a hand raised in farewell.
He would see his son soon enough.