Who: Buffy and Faith What: Doing what Slayers do When: Tonight Where: Prison to start Warnings: Slayage, Faith's filthy mouth, angsty woobs and letting go of the past by talking about the future.
Faith was having a shit day. Connor had literally just died and instead of relief, everyone was running out of town at full speed. Faith didn’t understand what was going on. Why had it taken everyone this long to snap? And did they really think that it was going to be better somewhere else? The world was filled with zombies and other supernatural creatures. She knew there were still military factions out there and other safe zones but she had a good idea that they had the same kind of problems they did, right?
But then there were others who were coming back. Stefan and his brother and Max and Jondy and Steve were all moving into the prison. Faith secretly hoped that would be the thing that pushed Alec into moving back too. Losing Dimitri and Connor had put a major dent in their security even if they had already been gone for awhile. The prison was more resilient than it seemed and compensated for the loss. Yet it was still felt, especially for Faith. Having the extra hard hitters around again did help ease the loss.
Then there was Faith’s own personal losses. Connor was gone, there was absolutely nothing she could do about that. Emily was moving onto some island that she had never even heard of before. Buffy was leaving….
Buffy was leaving.
It almost didn’t matter. Faith was used to carrying Buffy’s ghost around with her even when she wasn’t around. She had been there the night that Buffy had died again at Glory’s hands. They should have been able to stop it a second time. When she came back it shouldn’t have been to a place where she had to watch her watcher and her sister die. In strange ways, it bonded Faith even more tightly to her fellow slayer. She knew what it was like to lose everything, to have nothing to lose. She really hoped that Malachi and his magic Xanax mojo could help her keep it together or else homegirl was bound to snap eventually.
“Hey.” She nodded at Buffy as she approached the gate. The two of them had barely spoken since Buffy had come back from the dead. Too many things had been said and done between the two of them at this point. They might as well have called it a wash but damaged hearts and bruised feelings made that impossible.
I swear you’re the only thing keeping me sane right now, Buffy had said over the campfire that night. They were somewhere along the coast, Oregon maybe. Faith wasn’t sure. It was back when Buffy was still warm, still human, still sharing Faith’s bed… or sleeping bag as the case often was.
Faith couldn’t keep Buffy sane anymore. She had too big of a job in Everett and couldn’t devote one hundred percent of her attention and devotion to one person. She had learned that the hard way with Stefan. The only thing she could do was hope that Malachi and his family and a vacation far far away would help cure Buffy of her possible permanent melancholy.
The two of them walked towards the woods, neither of them saying much of anything for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry about Dawn,” Faith finally said. “That shouldn’t have happened. I should have-” What? She should have what? She wasn’t sure but she knew she should have done something.
When Malachi mentioned they were leaving, Buffy didn't have to think about it. She was going. There was no way she could stay in a town where every turn she made there was a reminder. A reminder of herself when she was without her soul, the chaos she caused with Alec and Angelus, a reminder of her sister, the fight it took for Dawn to even look at her, let alone talk to her and even after that, the period of time it took for her sister to even accept her, if she ever did. Buffy didn't know. Not for sure. She hadn't said much about anything that was going on. Nothing at all. It wasn't theirs to know about. Whatever she was feeling was felt between herself and Malachi and that was only because he never left her alone, which now, thinking about it, she appreciated it. She was on the verge of just letting go because it wouldn't hurt. Staying here did.
And as much as she wanted to hate Angel - she couldn't. She could never. And she wanted to be short with him. Tell him goodbye and that was it because for a second, she felt that was what he deserved, but didn't she deserve the same thing? Why couldn't they save them? Either of them? Any of them? Whatever fingers she would point at Angel, she was pointing at herself so there was no point. She loved him, she always would. He knew that.
But tonight before she actually slept in the prison for the last time until she'd be whisked away to start her new life with Malachi, there was someone that she needed to see. To talk to. So much avoidance on Buffy's part, but really, on Faith too. And then there were actual problems bigger than their pride that was going around Everett.
The blonde slayer met up with Faith at the gate and nodded, sliding her hands into the back pocket of her jeans. She gave Faith a tight lipped smile, "Hey." They barely spoke as they walked toward the woods. Buffy's stake was carefully tucked in the inner pocket of her coat, but she hadn't even gone for it yet.
Buffy's eyes faltered when Faith said she was sorry about Dawn. That it shouldn't have happened. That she have what? Buffy looked at her.
"There was nothing you could have done." There was nothing none of them could have done. Buffy remembered the little talks that her and Dawn would have. She remembered how much Dawn spoke about Connor. How excited she'd be when she talked about him. Then it just stopped. And it was done.
And then this.
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest as she walked. "Are you tired of it all?" Buffy stared ahead. She was tired and it wasn't even 'her' town. Because this was Faith's town. Her responsibility. She was number one. Head cheese and stuff and ... wasn't she tired? When Buffy was it she never remembered it being this hard. Then again she was biased. Days of past never killed her sister. Her eyes watered slightly but she pushed it down, her face turning to stone until the feeling passed.
"I can't stay here. All I see is regret everywhere I go."
Faith glanced over at Buffy. Was she tired? Yeah, she was tired. She was exhausted but that was why she had help. Help was leaving quickly but she still had plenty of help. She needed to stop feeling panicked about the mass exodus and start thinking strategy. She had lived with less security. Back in the beginning it had only been a couple. She remembered Allison and Stiles stepping out of the woods looking bedraggled and terrified. It probably didn’t help that Alec immediately had a gun out and Allison had her bow and arrow. They were the first two people to come to the prison and after them she just made it up as she went along but she always had help.
“Nah.” She turned and gave Buffy half a smile. She was tired but she wasn’t about to act like she couldn’t handle it, especially not in front of Buffy. Not when this should have been hers. Buffy should be the one, the one who was in charge, the leader, the savior. That was her job, not Faith’s. And for good reason, Faith didn’t always make good decisions. That was the burden of being in charge though. Making hard decisions that other people didn’t want to make. Faith had help. That was why she didn’t run off like she was well known for doing so often in the past.
“If anything I’m tired of running. You know? I made a stand here and I’m just not ready to give that up yet. Maybe I’m stubborn or stupid but this is my hold out for now.” This was probably the city that Faith would die in. She had finally found a place to call home and Everett was it. It might be screwed up. It might be filled with vampires and witches and demons but it was home. Faith only felt more protective of it after the Nemeton had been activated. It made it a sort of hellmouth in it’s own way. Dark things would be drawn here and Faith was made to fight the darkness. This had lead to a lifelong battle of the darkness within herself.
“I get why you gotta go though. Dawn and Giles and… you died here. Again. There’s nothing really for you here.” Because Faith couldn’t offer Buffy a thing. She was better going off with Malachi and his herd. He could offer her things, he could help her.
It's not running was what she wanted to say. But it was. She was trying to not find the shame in it but she just couldn't. She knew this town would destroy her. She was close, so unbelievably close to just letting it all go. No amount of Malachi would have been able to fix this, or fix her and those nights when she was inconsolable because it just wouldn't end, not even Malachi's arms around her gave her any comfort. She wouldn't be able to survive this town. Not without her sister. Not without Giles. Knowing that she had the comfort of her friends should have made a difference, but it was her sister that was permanent, even if Dawn hated her. Even if the younger Summers looked at Buffy with disgust. She was always her sister, no matter what. And Giles ...
Buffy bowed her head, letting out a shaky breath out of habit as they walked. No, this wasn't the town for her. This wasn't her home. It was never that, but it was for Faith. And she understood it. With everything that happened to Faith here, it made her sister slayer stronger, wiser. For Buffy it just kept taking everything away. Ripping her apart, piece by piece.
"There's nothing here for me anymore. I know that."
She looked at Faith then. Buffy remembered traveling with Faith, moving from state to state trying to find her sister, trying to find her friends. And up until that night when Angelus found them instead, she remembered some of those nights being the best nights of her life. She felt guilty for that. Because she was without her sister but it wasn't always darkness. It never always darkness and she could remember laughing and the way they would compete and it just wasn't always hard when it actually was. They'd find the distractions but those days were gone. All of it - gone and it was gone so quickly. Faith was able to do the whole moving on thing but Buffy was stuck. Who and what she was now was always a reminder that in some ways she'd always be Angel's. He made that permanent and part of her hated him for that.
Everyone could move on from it. Have their lives. She was still here. Still dead. The only time she felt alive now was when Malachi took it all away and she loved him for it. She loved him for much more than that, but he always tried and all he wanted was for Buffy to be able to make it through the day, to be happy. It was just so damn hard now.
"For what its worth, you know, if any," Buffy started and nodded as she spoke. "You're doing a great job. I mean, you're not me," she teased, rolling her eyes over to Faith, trying to lighten some of this mood or else Buffy was going to lose it, "but you’re not supposed to be. And you don't need to be compared, or think this should all be mine. It shouldn't. It should be yours. Besides, I don't think I can rock the whole prison garb, that was always your gig, right?" Buffy smiled slightly over at Faith, giving her a little nudge. She'd miss her, but she knew that Faith needed this. She needed to be needed and this place sure as all sure needed her. It was like Everett and Faith were meant to be.
Faith smirked. “That’s me. Inmate for life.” They were joking about it but Faith couldn’t help but feel the loss of Buffy. Even if her ghost would always be standing right next to her. That ghost was the alive version of Buffy. No vampire required. This Buffy had done more, had seen more. This Buffy was more on Faith’s level. She had fallen from grace too, it had just taken her longer. Faith felt sad for Buffy, for everything she would have to go through and the personal hell she would have to live with for a little while. Buffy, as always, had a great support system though.
Faith had a good support system too and had for awhile. She could feel the loss of Connor and Dimitri and Natasha and she probably would for awhile. But she also had Steve living there now and Max and Jondy, all three of them more than capable of pulling their own weight and then some. More surprisingly was the Salvatore brothers moving back into the prison. She wasn’t sure what had changed theirs minds but she was happy to have them back despite her propensity to argue with both of them a lot. They were strong and fast and she needed more of that at the prison. Even when Stefan snapped and turned off his humanity it had been pretty low key compared to Connor and his brother reigned him back in. The two of them balanced each other out.
“I dunno if I’m doing a great job though it’s kinda nice hearin’ that from you since you’re still Slayer Number One.” She smirked over at Buffy. Since when had it gotten so easy to joke about their greatest insecurities? Faith had no idea but it felt good to get to this place, this place where they were just comfortable with each other instead of rife with petty jealousy and insecurity. They were bonded together for life, no matter what. Or in Buffy’s case, death warmed over. Nothing could break the connection between them. Since Buffy was immortal and Faith still somehow hadn’t used up her nine lives, they would probably see one another again at some point. It was just a matter of time and she pictured how she would feel on the day that Buffy came knocking at her gates again. How much would change between now and then? Maybe Faith would have gray hairs. Maybe Ellis’s kid would already be taller than her. It was impossible to really say.
They weren’t far from Fangtasia when they ran into a vampire who had a girl pressed up against a tree, his fangs buried in his neck. It was hard to tell if the girl was enjoying herself or not. There was a lot of weirdos who hung around Fangtasia, worshiping vampires.
Faith cleared her throat so the vampire noticed the two women walking towards him.
“You must be new in town,” Faith said. “Because you obviously haven’t heard about pest control.” She pulled out her stake and looked at Buffy, giving her a look of last minute guilt. “Sorry. Did you want the witty pun this time?”
Buffy thought it was safe to say that Faith was the slayer right now. Slayer Number One. The Head Bitch and all that. The girls that were here looked up to her, they worked with her, had a system. Buffy wasn't part of that. She made a point to not get involved that way because she knew how Faith was. It always went back to who they were and what they stood for and if anything at this point the lines were so blurred they could barely be seen. It was like the lines were playing tricks on them, but Buffy stayed on her side of the slayer street. This was hers. All of it was hers. Buffy knew that all too well.
Not to say that Buffy wouldn't have done things different. Oh my God, she would have but that was just Buffy. That was who she was. All dominant and take chargey but Faith built this. It wasn't just handed to her. She was doing the best she could and that was all anyone could have asked from her.
"No, you're the head cheese." Buffy thought about it, "I think I'm like down here," she gestured with her hand, giving it a good shake to show how low she was on the slayer list of slayers. Faith was way up and she was way down and that was okay with her. "It's all yours. All of it. You know, they might as well just rename it Faithville." She shrugged, looking cutie, "I'm just saying."
And then there it was. Vampires. Right. The whole reason they were out here. Their destiny. One girl in all the ... world. Buffy bit her lip and pressed on as she walked along side Faith and eventually smiled.
"No, that was good." She nodded her approval and looked at the vamp that wasn't too happy with being interrupted of his snacky time. He looked confused. Confused yet angry and Buffy pulled her stake out. Oh that's right.
"I know what you're thinking. A vampire slaying vampires. What can I say? The whole just being a slayer wasn't fun anymore when everyone just started doing it. I had to break out on my own and be all original," she conversated with the vampire and looked at Faith, giving her a look that said maybe she went a little too far and ended it with a pout.
"Too much?" It was all in good fun and really, right now, this last night with just her and Faith seemed appropriate. It needed to be done and Buffy wouldn’t have had it any other way.
“Turning everyone into a slayer was your call, not mine,” Faith pointed out to Buffy. Sure, she didn’t have a better idea for dealing with The First Evil other than dying but there might have been some other solution somewhere. She was talking to Buffy while they both traded kicks and punches with the vampire. They worked in almost perfect unity together. They always had been so in sync and maybe that was what had torn them apart over and over again.
Faith socked the vamp hard in the jaw and Buffy was right there waiting with her stake. The vampire exploded into a cloud of dust between them and without missing a beat her and Buffy high fived. It was amazing how easily they fell into a familiar pattern with one another. Just like riding a biker. Faith smirked.
As they headed back to the prison she thought about what it would be like to not have Buffy in her life but she had done it so many times by now. Saying goodbye to her was just old hat. She didn’t even believe it was really goodbye. Somehow the two of them had always found their way back to each other despite the odds and they probably always would until one of them drew their final breath.
“Good luck out there,” she said to Buffy as they came to a stop outside the prison gates. She figured Buffy had other people to say goodbye to like Willow or whatever. Faith had ten drinks to share with Derek. Buffy would leave but life would go on as usual. “And I’ll see you when I see you.”
Buffy held her hand up, giving her a wave and watched as Faith walked away. Maybe she was right. This wasn't really goodbye but a see you when I see you type of thing, but looking up at the prison, she knew she never wanted to come back. So much had happened, so much that couldn't be fixed, or taken back. It was all so final. Her eyes fell on Faith's retreating form and Buffy walked through the gates and inside of the prison, catching up with quickly.
She reached for Faith's hand, pulling her back and just looked at her. Malachi might visit and who's to say that Buffy wouldn't either, but right now? It was done. Over. She was getting out while she could and that was final. She smiled sadly, but how could she be sad when it came to Faith. Faith was weirdly the most stable thing she had here besides Malachi. What she had with him was unbreakable, but this, the slayers, their bond ...
Buffy leaned forward and kissed her. Nothing rushed, or deep, or meaningful, just soft and Buffy smiled against Faith's lips.
"See you when I see you." Buffy let go of Faith's hand and walked around her down to Willow's cell so she could hang out with her best friend and Tara before she left this place behind for good. Things weren't great, they were barely good, but Buffy felt good about this. About starting with Malachi and she had to let this door close so that one could open. The one with him and Vik and her little namesake and ... it would be hard. It would be difficult, but it was something she just had to do.