max (thegirlsoldier) wrote in zombieslogs, @ 2013-11-12 04:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | jondy, max guevera |
Who: Max and Jondy
What: Thinking and talking
When: Today
Where: Steve's cabin
Warnings: Maybe language, but most likely none
Max was worried. She did a good job at hiding it, not letting it show that this whole virus deal was getting under her skin, but she couldn't stop thinking about it. She couldn't - not when so many people kept being affected by it, and especially because Steve was among one of the infected ones.
When the whole thing had initially come up, It had been easy to pretend that things would be fine, despite how serious the situation was. She worried about her siblings or her friends getting sick, of course, but somehow she had blocked away the possibility that it would actually get to them. They would be fine. That was all that she had been thinking and focusing on; they would be okay. Except, when Alec had let them know that Steve had gotten it, she hadn't been willing to believe it. This wasn't the first virus that Max had witnessed affecting someone she cared about and, while it was extremely different than the one that Manticore had given Logan so that he could be deathly allergic to her, she was worried about the idea that it was the same in the sense that there wouldn't be a cure. Because Max had done her research back then, and she had even tried to get others to help her solve their little dilemma, but nothing had been found. What if this was the same for Steve? The idea was enough to make her stomach tighten painfully, and the sensation was only worse when she let herself remember that he was locked up. It was for his own good as well as Everett's, she knew it wholeheartedly and that he would even insist on it if he was actually himself, but Max had spent too many years locked up to really be okay with the idea.
So, in an effort to not drive herself crazy by just thinking, Max had done her best to keep busy. She helped guard the perimeter of the base, even if she knew it was well guarded and that there were other security measures already in place. She helped keep a lookout on the prison too, just in case they needed her and, whenever she couldn't think of what else to do, she'd go out and fight zombies just to beat the shit out of something. Fighting zombies was never much of a fight, but she needed to keep moving, because otherwise she knew she wouldn't stop thinking and she was tired of it. Just so damn tired of it.
This morning, though, she was finally still. As she leaned against the wall by the backdoor of the cabin, overlooking Steve's 'gym', she could only stare at the punching bag hanging from the tree. As much as she missed him and wanted to be there and see him in person, she couldn't help but be a little relieved that they weren't cleared to really be inside to where he was. It was selfish, but she didn't think that she could take it if she would see him behind bars, and as good as she was at believing that he was safer in there, she knew her resolve would at least somewhat melt if he tried to convince her to help him get out. He would come home, she kept telling herself. Steve would be okay, and he would be fine after they found a cure, she just hoped that it would be soon. She could only hope she wasn't lying to herself, because she wasn't sure if she could deal with losing Steve in any sense of the word. Not when he had managed to find a way into all of their lives. Not when he was the closest thing to a father figure that they had ever had.
The door opened, and Max blinked over to her sister before a small smile settled on her lips. "I just needed to get some air," she explained to the unasked question, digging her hands in her pockets as she gave a small shrug. "What's up, sis?"