Who: Krissy and Will What: Late night musings When: Tonight Where: The yard Warnings: Sad times
Krissy was bored. That would generally mean shooting a message to Lydia, or Molly, or Abigail, but she didn't want to bother them. The last few weeks she had been a pretty horrible friend, essentially hiding away for the most part in corners of the prison that weren't visited very often, but in her defense it was as if she was trying to protect them from being horrible, terrible company. Everyone had enough to deal with than her moping, or whatever this mess of emotions was that she had to deal with, and so she had kept to herself whenever she wasn't working. She'd still help Will with Winston without being asked, and she would visit her cell just enough to not make it obvious that she wasn't really staying there most nights, but other than that, empty cell blocks were her refuge.
Tonight they just didn't do, though. She wasn't tired enough to try to sleep, and she was running frighteningly low on allergy and cold medicine on her stash that could make her sleep so she refused to waste it. Instead, she grabbed her jacket and ventured out to the yard even if the laces of her boots were loose and undone.
The crisp night air greeted her at once, but Krissy didn't mind it. She had grown up traveling through so many cities, seeing so many different kinds of weather, that she didn't think much of winter in Everett. It would be cold as hell later on, yes, but she didn't mind it. If anything, she was almost looking forward to it. The change in the weather reminded her that her birthday was coming up, and Krissy balled up his hands into fists even if they were being hidden in the pockets of her jacket.
For someone that would be turning sixteen in a few days, she sure did not feel like it. Birthdays were supposed to be a fun time, according to everyone, but Krissy was dreading hers. She appreciated everything Abigail was doing to try and get her excited for it, but she just couldn't muster up the energy for it. It was screwed up, and she knew she was being ungrateful considering so many people would not get to see their next birthday because they had died, but it was for that exact reason that she just couldn't be excited.
Vera would never get to celebrate her birthday. Vera would forever get stuck at fifteen, at the same age that she was now, and it felt fucking unfair to move onto sixteen without her. It was unreasonable of her to see it that way, but she couldn't help it. She should be used to death - she was a hunter. Krissy had lost her mother when she was so young, she had essentially killed her father herself after he was bitten by a zombie; she should be used to loss, and what came afterwards. She should know what to do to move on.
Except, she didn't. As she walked, she felt just as lost as she had felt back when Will had found her. Aimless, angry, and so fucking disappointed that she had believed things would somehow work out, but no dice. Wasn't that the deal? Wasn't that what she was supposed to look forward to?
Her boots crunched on some leaves as she walked, but she stopped as she realized where she was. From that spot she had seen Dick Roman taunt the prison as he held Vera. From that spot she had seen Dick Roman eat her friend as everyone screamed and cried out for him to stop. As Krissy herself had begged him to stop, to let her go. The memory felt so distant, but at the same time so real, and she sank down to sit on the grass in silence. Her eyes were fixed on that spot beyond the fence, the one where Vera had been last, and Krissy let out a shaky sigh as she picked up one of the fallen leaves she had stepped on so she could twirl it in her hand. There was no way to rewind time, to fix or make things any better, but it didn't stop her from wishing it. If she could, if it was possible, she would beg for that to be her birthday wish this year.