She hadn't even known that there was a knife in the cell. Had it been leftover from when Christian tried to get her to eat something? Had he made it appear out of thin air? She didn't know and frankly it didn't make any difference. She lifted her head back up and stared at the knife and she knew what could take away some of her pain. If she focused on the physical then maybe some of the emotional guilt and weight of what she'd done to that little girl would be expelled. It was building so fast and if she didn't do this then she would be choked by it.
Lissa's hand slowly reached out and hovered over the knife. She hesitated for only a moment before picking it up and holding it firmly in her hand. She couldn't let Jill suffer anymore for what big sister had done.
It was as if she was on autopilot now as she took the knife and started with small, shallow cuts on her arm. She knew that doing this made her weak, but look what had happened when she'd tried to be strong. Cutting was something that she hadn't done in years but right now it felt like the only option that she had.
Each cut stung and brought more tears to her eyes, but she embraced the pain. Her mind cleared a bit and focused on the physical pain instead of everything else that had been tormenting her.