Krissy (chamberskrissy) wrote in zombieslogs, @ 2013-08-24 17:22:00 |
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Entry tags: | krissy chambers |
Who: Krissy with mentions of Vera and Abigail
What: Watching everything go down and the aftermath
When: During Vera's death.
Where: Throughout the prison
WARNINGS: Major angst and grief
It had started off as a one time thing. It was Serena's and Nate's wedding, and two young girls had seen this as the opportunity to have a glass of wine. Even if Krissy had a bold attitude that she didn't mind throwing around, she also knew how to share comfortable silences, and Vera had made it easy. She had made it so damn easy to sit with her and just hang out, enjoying their wine until they were both giggling and actually enjoying themselves. The world had been rough for both of them, each in their own respective ways, but in moments like that, where you discovered a new friend, it helped in not feeling so alone whenever the darkness settled. It helped in feeling lucky and even grateful sometimes at being alive. Like maybe the world hadn't completely forgotten you behind, and it allowed you to add one more person to the list of people you cared about. A list that sometimes felt too damn short, or getting shorter too quickly.
Their 'one time thing' quickly became into something more frequent. It wasn't a habit, not in a way that would make them fall under the 'alcoholic' category, but it was just some innocent fun that the two of them could have in this chaotic, fucked up world. It was a reprieve of reality, a way to stay sane in the middle of all the goddamn insanity that never felt like it ended.
She should have known it wouldn't last. She should have known she wouldn't be able to stop it.
She should have known.
Krissy had been in her cell when the commotion had begun. At once she had grabbed her gun, running out while checking the network for any updates, but Dick's message had stopped her cold. It had felt like a punch in the stomach that had knocked the air right out of her lungs, and it was a wonder she didn't fall from the way she just halted at once. He had Vera. The fucker had Vera, and immediately she had done her best to offer herself to him. Her for Vera. He wanted a fifteen year old girl? Dick could have her. He could kill her for all she cared, but please, don't touch Vera. It was all she hoped for. It was all she could pray for, even if she couldn't even think straight. She couldn't breathe. Please, don't hurt Vera. Please. Please please please.
No amount of mental begging or praying helped. Of course it hadn't. Dick turned her down, and Krissy couldn't see straight. The anger was blinding her, along with the sudden terror running through her veins. Please don't kill her. Please don't kill her. She almost typed it in, almost BEGGED HIM not to touch her, but he already had her, and deep down she already knew. Krissy wasn't a hunter for nothing, and she knew the lessons that life kept beating into her all too well. Life wasn't fair. Things weren't fair. Monsters were monsters, and they would kill for no reason. This was all a game for Dick. This was a way to torture them.
Fuck, and was he able to torture them.
Why would I want to eat you, Krissy? Being a monster suits you so much better.
Knowing that pleading over the network wouldn't work, she began running. Running as fast as she could, pushing anyone that got in her way. The halls felt eternal, packed with so many people that she just kept shoving away if they got in her way, but as she reached outside she didn't see anyone else. She saw Vera with Dick. The way he stroked her hair, the way he held her. She tried to yell, tried to catch his attention, but she didn't say anything. She couldn't. Her throat felt so small, so useless, and so she just kept running. Please don't hurt Vera. Please, don't kill my friend.
Please. Please.
Before she could even reach the gate, though, Abigail was tackling her to the ground and holding her in place. It didn't matter, though. She wouldn't have been able to stop him, because suddenly Dick was biting into Vera's neck. "NO. NO, STOP. STOP, DON'T." It was a string of words mangled with sobs as she screamed, but she didn't hear herself. She couldn't. All she could see was Vera. All she could see was the blood, so much blood, and as the life went out of her Krissy could only scream. Please, please don't. Please. PLEASE.
Abigail was saying something, was trying to soothe her, but Krissy couldn't hear her. Everything was white noise around her, and the fight that she was putting up went right out of her as she curled into herself. At first the sobs were overpowering, not even letting her breathe, but that was fine with her. She shouldn't be the one that should be alive. Vera should be alive, not Krissy. Not Krissy, who was a monster. Vera was innocent. She was so fucking innocent, and the rage and the grief of it all was drowning her. At some point Abigail must have managed to pull her back up, somehow got her to move, but Krissy couldn't think. She couldn't even see, until they got inside and suddenly the walls felt like they were caving in. Everything was coming apart, and Krissy disentangled herself from Abigail again, but this time not to run outside. She ran as quickly as she could to the bathrooms, and as soon as she was in one of the stalls she fell to the ground so hard that her knees would surely bruise, but it didn't matter. Whatever was left in her stomach was suddenly gone, and she couldn't stop. She couldn't stop until she was dryheaving and sobbing into the toilet.
Please, she wanted to beg. Please, please don't let this be real. Please, don't let her be gone, let this be a nightmare. Let all this be over soon.
She knew better, though. Life didn't quite work that way.