And despite all his lashings out, he never wanted her to be afraid of him. He just wanted to keep her at an emotional arm's length.
"Better restless than dead." He left out all the details about how Merle had died and he'd spent a long time surviving alone in the woods. Jumped a demon possessed Winchester boy and got beaten to shit and then came back. Even left out that just a couple days before he'd shot a coyote shapeshifter by accident and rushed her to the prison for medical attention. He'd had a busy time without his little make-shift family. He'd made friends, too, but they weren't the things making him restless.