Who: Krissy (narrative) What: It's father's day, and some days she can't outrun her father's memory. When: Sunday at dawn Where: Roof of the prison Warnings: Major angst, memories of zombie fighting and of her father dying.
Run. Run, run run. That was all she could focus on, that was all she told herself, but her legs are tired. It feels like she has been running for ages, but she knows she needs to ignore it. She has to. She just has to, because they're closing in. They're getting closer. Her backpack feels as if it's weighing her down, her shotgun feels like a block of cement in her hands, and for a second - just a second - she feels herself slow down. She needs to breathe. God, she just needs to catch her breath, and afterwards--
"Krissy, what are you doing?" Her father's voice sounds as breathless as she feels, but it doesn't show on his face at all. Lee Chambers looks strong and firm as he looks between his daughter and then off into the distance behind her, as if he can see the vampires they had been outrunning. Because they had accidentally stumbled upon a nest, and begrudgingly they had admitted defeat as they retreated. "Come on, we have to go. We're almost there. We'll come back once we're better prepared."
Because that's what they did. Even if the world is being overtaken by zombies, they still have a duty to uphold. Vampires, werewolves, demons - they are terrorizing survivors, and as hunters it is their responsibility to stop that. It is what she had been raised to do, after all, and even if once upon a time they had tried to do the whole 'normal life' thing, the zombie apocalypse had been sure to steer that plan right off. It hadn't mattered, though. Krissy had learned quickly that hunting was in her blood, it was her future, and she had accepted it years ago.
Except, as she stands tired and breathless now, she doesn't feel like a very good hunter. She's not supposed to be tired. She's not supposed to be breathless. So, as her father looks at her, she nods with firm determination and grasps her shotgun tighter. They begin moving again, running back to the truck, but it's probably still not quickly enough. She knows this because her father is about to say something again as he looks over his shoulder, but his words get lost as they round the corner and a hoard of zombies is moving towards them.
Krissy doesn't think. The shotgun is loaded and ready to shoot, and at once she starts aiming and shooting at the zombies. Lee does the same, and everything blurs together as they fight against their attackers. She doesn't realize that she's about to be grabbed by a zombie until someone pulls her by her backpack, and drags her away from the fight. The adrenaline is surging through her so strongly that at first she's ready to lunge right back, the young hunter ready to lay to rest some of the undead that wanted to feast on them, but as they move she realizes that her father is limping next to her.
"Dad?" Lee doesn't answer, so Krissy tries to stop him, but he just keeps moving without looking at her. It's not until he falls to his knees, and Krissy has to stop him before he lands face-first onto the ground. "Daddy?"
She sounds young, so fucking young, but she can't help it. No matter how much she doesn't want to, she just can't help it, because her father is bleeding, and he's so damn pale that she knows what's coming. Despite knowing, though, her hand moves towards the bite on the side of his neck, the one that she hadn't seen until now. The one that she believes she can heal if she applies pressure, because she can't lose him. She can't lose her father. How had she not seen it? How had she not protected him? There's so much blood seeping through her fingers, and for the girl that had never been queasy about anything, suddenly she feels sick. She feels so damn sick, and Lee sways before his body starts getting heavy, and Krissy has no other option but lay him down on the ground.
"You know what you have to do," Lee says in a whisper, the words sounding gurgled with the blood that's pooling in his mouth. Krissy shakes her head, tries to say something, but Lee shushes her with the best smile he can muster. "You'll be okay. I know you will."
"Daddy, no. Please. Please, no." The last plea is broken by the sob that escapes her throat, but she ducks her head to hide her tears as she tries to stop the bleeding. Please, she wants to beg him. Please, don't leave. Please don't leave. Please don't die. She knows that look, though - the way that his eyes are rolling to the back of his head already, the way that he's having trouble breathing. She suddenly doesn't know who died worse: her mother, dying in almost an instant, or her father dying of a zombie bite. It makes her want to scream, it makes her want to cry until she can't breathe, but she doesn't. Her father is struggling to look at her, as if to say the orders he can't quite verbalize, and through the tears she just nods. Because, what else can she say? "Okay," she manages, her hands moving from his neck and to his chest. It's barely moving, he's barely breathing, but she needs to feel his heartbeat. "I love you, Daddy."
The sun would be rising soon. The prison was quiet and still so early in the morning, but Krissy didn't really notice nor did she care. She was too busy trying to hide from the world on the roof of the prison. Generally she was good at ignoring memories of the day her father had died, she did a good job at hiding the grief and the guilt that she carried deep within her, but this day was different. As much as she hated it, it was so damn different. Because, even if Lee Chambers had never been one to enjoy 'Hallmark holidays,' it didn't change the fact that it was father's day.
It didn't change the fact that it was father's day, and her father was gone.
Hugging her knees tighter to her, Krissy steeled herself and just stared off at the spot where the sun would rise. Maybe, if she did so, the day would disappear faster. Maybe the guilt would be less. Maybe the grief would go away. She was the good little hunter, right? Her father had left her a legacy to carry, a family tradition to uphold. She couldn't let things like this get in her way, no matter how much the world had changed. If anything, because the world had changed she couldn't let herself get too wrapped up in...well, anything.
Except, it didn't change anything. It didn't make things hurt any less, and it sure as hell didn't fix anything, either.
The feel of Winston licking her face made her turn to him, startled, and it wasn't until then that she noticed the tears that had slipped out. Furiously wiping them away, she did her best to smile at Winston as he sat on the ground next to her, as if ready to comfort her if needed. Krissy had snuck into Will's cell to grab Winston before going up to the roof hours ago, but she just hoped he hadn't heard her. She wasn't willing to explain why she hadn't been able to sleep tonight. She just wanted to sit on the roof for a few more hours with her Will's dog, and try to ignore the world. Later she would go back and continue being Will's shadow to make sure he was okay, she would be normal, and she would be Krissy.
Right now... Right now she didn't know who to be, or how to act. As she sat there,she just wished she could disappear for a few hours just so that she wouldn't have to figure it out.