The look that Sookie shot up from the floorboards and at Tara was nasty. Of course she knew she wasn't in Bon Temps. She knew she wasn't at Merlotte's pretending she was too good to indulge in Arlene's gossip, or disappointing, then thanking Sam because she had to miss yet another shift for stupid ass reasons. She wasn't scolding Jason, or faking modesty at Lafayette over the kitchen counter, and she sure as shit wasn't in the home where her and gran used to talk everything and nothing over a hot breakfast, where there would sometimes be a plate waiting for Tara. She knew very fucking well that she wasn't in Bon Temps, as if the fucking blizzard and her lack of friends wasn't enough of an indicator, and she was so close to saying that too. So close to snapping at someone who literally gave their life for her. Her face softened almost immediately when she realized she couldn't remember if it was before or after she pulled the trigger on Debbie Pelt that she started turning into a nasty old bitch. Gran would have been ashamed of her. What was the point in feeling sorry for herself? She took too much for granted, and she needed to make things right.
"You know," Sookie breathed, keeping her jaw tight and her posture stiff. She didn't feel so tough standing in front of the Tara this time. She had to hold fast, because if she didn't, a single angry, well deserved word could have toppled her. "When you came up to me? After you were turned, and all done freakin' out.. the first words that shoulda came out of my mouth were 'I'm sorry.'" So much for skirting the subject, she thought, but pressed on anyway. Small talk wasn't going to cut it. "I was so selfish, Tara. I owed you so much, even before you saved my life the first time with Bill a-and the van.. I love you, and I couldn't just let you die for me too, you know? But I was so.. so fuckin' stupid, and I.." Sookie stopped, glancing up at the ceiling of the cabin, shaking her head and shrugging helplessly. She was sure Tara would be rolling her eyes, and it would be easier to keep saying what she had to say if she didn't have to see it. The howling wind sounded louder than before. "I didn't really think on how you'd feel about it. So I'm sorry. And I know that don't make up for nothin', and I can't change what I did, but I'm so sorry, Tara. I really am."