Title: Bittersweet (1/2)
Universe: Haru wo Daiteita & When a Man Loves a Man.
Characters: Iwaki Masahiko, Iwaki Kyousuke/Katou
Rating: R, possibly.
Warnings: nah.
Word count: 1,300
Notes: For my beloved red_day_dawning.
About Japanese furniture: kotatsu are low tables with a heater and a heavy quilt under the tabletop. Often used to sleep under when it is very cold. Kakebuton is the top part, the "duvet" part of a futon set.
Summary: Iwaki Masahiko's life didn't turn out like he wanted it to and his brother's and Katou Youji's shameless behaviour doesn't make it easier to cope with more than thirty years of repressed... repression. But Masahiko is forced to look at the way he has lived his life until now and on his values he thought he had established so firmly. Serious changes are bound to happen...



Bittersweet (1/2)

The night had been long and remarkably hot. Winter had held the large house in a crushing embrace for days and neither the kerosene heaters nor the kotatsu with its delightful electrical heater that created little squares of confined warmth had been enough to chase the frost out of the building. The water had become ice in the pipes. There was nowhere to find relief.

Except at night. When the darkness fell and Kyousuke and that lover of his, Katou-kun, disappeared into the room they shared during their stay at the Iwaki family residence, heat and warmth came back to chase the winter away.

Masahiko was so very tired of the nightly sounds. He wasn't yet used to sleeping alone and he missed Fuyumi. It is the only time I see you, Masahiko-san, at night, she had told him before she had taken their daughter and returned to her parents' home. I know you have responsibilities to the company but you have a family, too, she had said, for the first time in their long marriage raising her voice against him. Are you going to do something before it is too late? she had demanded, teary-eyed. Masahiko hadn't known what to say. She was right, but what could he do if she wouldn't live up to her duty as his wife? She had waited for his answer, and since he had none, she had left. A few weeks later she had asked for divorce. Despite the shame and the humiliation, he had granted it. There were no valid arguments to make her come back to him. He was a failure as a husband.

Now he was alone. Maybe that was what had made Kyousuke and Katou-kun feel they needed to keep him company during Christmas and New Year. Christmas meant nothing to Masahiko; what did he care for foreign customs? Nevertheless, he was riddled with two lovebirds who did little to hide their disgraceful inclination.

Masahiko turned restlessly under the down kakebuton. He had pulled off his pyjama, but he still felt so hot. He buried his face in the pillow, but the wooden floor mercilessly carried the sound of Kyousuke's dark voice begging for more and for deeper. Katou-kun's lighter voice was rough from arousal and moans; golden and unpolished, just like Katou-kun himself. Masahiko felt like he was on the verge of going insane. He had managed to ignore the blood rushing through his loins and the insistent throbbing of... something he preferred to pretend wasn't his. But the futon was burning hot, and Masahiko was sweating, despite the icy feeling of chilled air around his naked feet that he, in a desperate attempt to punish himself, had uncovered. Masahiko was not ready to deal with the repressed urges his body insisted it was time to unveil. Sleep came late, and only when the stars on the winter sky were fading with Kyousuke's relieved cries.



Masahiko's distress took a turn for the worse. He came home from the family business's office on Christmas eve, only to discover that his stylish and traditional Japanese home had been turned into a Father Christmas-induced hell while he had been working to keep things together. Someone (probably Katou Youji) had dragged a bloody tree into the bloody living room and decorated it with glitter and ornaments - some of which Masahiko, even at limit of his imagination had troubles guessing the function of. Katou-kun (the annoying instigator of this, Mashiko was certain) and Kyousuke were cuddling up on the modern sofa under woollen blankets. The room smelled deliciously of herbs and spices. Masahiko recognised a traditional Christmas cake amongst other foreign delicacies.

'Iwaki-san!' Katou called. 'Come and have a piece of cake and some mulled wine!'

Masahiko would rather have even the simplest onigiri than the brown cake, but as usual when Katou-kun was involved, there was no way around it. Masahiko rolled his eyes. If only Kyousuke had chosen someone a bit more manageable. But no, of course he had to find the most annoying, loud, irritating, persistent, attrac-

Oh.

Masahiko pushed the unwelcome thought away and put his briefcase down, reluctantly walking over to the large sofa. Katou-kun untangled himself from Kyousuke and poured a glass of cinnamon and clover-scented wine for Masahiko.

'This'll do you good,' Katou smiled and held out the cup as Masahiko sat down and stuck his feet under the kotatsu to keep his feet warm.

'When is this,' Masahiko waved his hand, including everything that didn't belong in a proper Japanese home, 'going to be removed? It better be out before New Year.'

'Iwaki-san, please, let us have a bit of Christmas,' Katou begged, looking like a puppy at Masahiko. 'It is so romantic and cosy.'

Kyousuke and his lover did indeed look unsuitably romantic, the way they were unable to behave like decent people, sitting far too close together and with entwined fingers. Masahiko huffed and took the cup he was offered. 'All right, then,' he allowed, annoyed over the couple and the way they had taken over the house. He took a deep drink of the warm wine. It tasted better than he had imagined; it had raisins and almonds in it as well as the spices. It didn't take long for him to drink the entire cup. The alcohol sent him leaning against the backrest, somewhat more relaxed. Masahiko had never been one for the extensive drinking that sometimes occurred during business dinners. He didn't hold his alcohol well.

When Katou smiled and offered Masahiko a refill, he couldn't say no. Maybe Katou-kun and Kyousuke were right: a bit of that foreign Christmas cheer was not entirely bad. The wine, at least, was good. Holding the cup in one hand, Masahiko sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, missing the wicked smile Katou sent Kyousuke. When Masahiko opened them again, he was staring into Katou-kun's glittering eyes. Masahiko couldn't breathe. 'What-' he managed, gasping for air, before Katou leaned forward and pressed his lips against Masahiko's mouth, rendering him speechless as well as breathless. The kiss was slightly wet and spiced bittersweet with the taste of fruits and wine and Christmas cake. 'What?' Masahiko spluttered, avoiding to spill the wine. 'How dare you!' His anger was spiced too, with the unspeakable desire that Masahiko had tried to repress; the desire for another man, for his brother's lover.

Katou just smiled that incredibly irritating and happy smile and pointed upwards. 'Mistletoe.'

'And why, if I may ask,' Masahiko sneered, 'does the presence of random greenery allow you to act in this unacceptable way? Have you no shame?'

'Very little,' Katou-kun flashed yet another of those wide smiles and Masahiko barely managed to control himself. 'I was in AV, remember? But this is tradition, Iwaki-san! To kiss anybody who stands under the mistletoe.'

'Katou...' Kyousuke's voice held a warning. 'Don't tease Masahiko so.'

'I am busy,' Masahiko managed, keeping his anger down. Oh, he remembered very well how Katou Youji had earned his money, without being told. And Masahiko was certain that if he exploded now, Katou and Kyousuke would both discover what was wrong with him. They would surely see that he was a detestable hypocrite of the worst kind; a pathetic wreck who was lusting for...

Masahiko stood, glaring angrily at Katou. Why couldn't he just be... normal? 'I have work to do,' he barked and put down the cup he had been holding on to, as if it could save him from himself. He left the room without even as much as a glance at his brother or the man he had brought home to disturb Masahiko's equilibrium.



That night Masahiko gave up and threw himself into the dark abyss he had used his whole life to avoid. When the well-known sounds from Katou-kun's and Kyousuke's room began, some time after midnight, he pushed a hand between his legs, touching himself, coming fast, with closed eyes relishing the memory of Katou's soft lips on his.

On to part II