đŠđ˛đ đŚđŁđ˘đŻ (corrupting) wrote in wtnvgame, @ 2021-05-30 02:23:00 |
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Okay, sure, maybe Chloe had a bit of a knee jerk reaction after finding out about Lucifer and Dean. What with not going back to the Last Resort after work that day and then spending the subsequent week, give or take a couple of days, crashing at Emmaâs just to avoid seeing him. Looking back on it, she could see that maybe it had been an unfair thing to do, but a mix of shame and embarrassment had led her to doing that. Stubbornness had kept her away until someone (Ella, mainly) had managed to talk some sense into her.
Because no, it wasnât okay to be mad at someone for doing something they didnât know was wrong. Sheâd assumed things about their relationship -- whatever it was -- instead of having an open conversation that would clarify things for the both of them. She knew she was partly to blame for feeling hurt, and she knew she needed to talk to him.
Lux had arrived the day after everything, but she hadnât stepped foot inside of the building. It seemed so out of place in Night Vale, but it was still something familiar and from home, and she could only guess that Lucifer had moved from the LR to the penthouse now that it was here.
Everything seemed quiet, but she felt a nervous sort of feeling come over her as the elevator made its way up and finally dinged softly before the doors opened. It was almost exactly how she remembered it, because of course -- why would it be any different? And at least the furniture wasnât covered, unlike the last time sheâd seen this room. But she also couldnât tell if anyone was actually there, stepping off of the elevator and making her way in quietly to look around.
Luxâs appearance had offered a few distractions at the very least; aside from the familiarity of his chosen home, the fact that he could feasibly use the arrival of his business and penthouse to have a bit of space wasnât something to be sniffed at for the moment.
He knew that Ms Lopez and Dr Martin were, in their way, attempting to help. But it did bring up a few things that he and Chloe had never really broached. Thereâd been a somewhat childish and maybe vague admittance of something during the Valentineâs celebrations, and while they were both honest at that point, it wasnât like theyâd taken the steps to actually discuss things past that. Yes, they both were feeling similar feelings, something heâd already heard her say, but down the line of a life she hadnât yet lived, and heâd made some declarations that had never been said to anyone not family.
But that didnât really answer any questions that Linda had posed.
He didnât really know what Chloe wanted from him. Sheâd spent so long telling him it wasnât going to happen and that she didnât see him like that, and obviously, heâd been there while it slowly changed, but she was still at the point where heâd broken her heart by running away from the gravity of things. Heâd falsely assumed she knew that his relationship with sex and intimacy wasnât the same, but heâd also foolishly assumed that she wouldnât expect monogamy; which was an oversight on his part, heâd seen how the Detective approached relationships, it should have been obvious that sheâd want that from him.
In the time heâd taken to work with Zatanna, setting up familiar spaces with personal touches for the three women, and little Charlie, Lucifer had given more thought to what Linda posed. Could he, if Chloe wanted it, needed it, could he promise her monogamy?
Although he hadnât done terribly much when it came to the decorating, heâd found a hot shower cleared his head better than draining several bottles of his best scotch. He was just exiting the bathroom, in black slacks and an open shirt, hair still somewhat damp and curling lightly against his forehead, when he spotted Chloe.
âDetective,â the surprise was likely very evident in his voice, but he didnât exactly want her to think she was unwelcome, âa lovely surprise to see you.â Given sheâd put a lot of effort into avoiding him.
Sheâd almost assumed he wasnât there and had moved to turn back toward the elevator when she heard him. Chloe paused then and turned back around, almost immediately feeling her face grow a little warmer at the sight of him like that. Poker face, Decker. Or at least not an obvious shit-he-looks-so-good face.
âHi, Lucifer,â she replied softly, keeping herself where she was for just a moment before she let herself enter the room a bit further. Look, Ella wouldâve kicked her ass if she hadnât come, and truth be told, she wanted to be there. She missed him more than she was upset at him and even then, she wasnât as upset now as she had been when she first found out. Ultimately sheâd just needed some room to breathe and not having her own house there made that difficult -- luckily Emma had come through and let her crash there for a while. Maybe longer than sheâd meant to.
Words werenât coming easy right then, but she knew she needed to talk, to explain. âSo, Ella talked some sense into me. Made me realize I wasnât exactly being fair by being mad about thingsâŚâ
It wasnât exactly surprising that Ella had something to do with Chloe visiting, honestly Lucifer wouldnât be surprised if Linda hadnât gotten a little involved too, given his propensity for not saying or doing the right thing and the fact that they didnât exactly have the same luxury for his screw-ups around here⌠Well, it wasnât like Maze was there to threaten him for messing with her Tribe after all.
âAlthough, not entirely wrong,â he did need to remember to see this from Chloeâs perspective, with Chloeâs preferences in mind. As much as he might be an immortal and Celestial being, somewhat above the restraints of societal expectations, it wasnât everyoneâs bag of chips and all that. Chloe was just as entitled to expect courtesy as he was to ask for understanding after all.
Crossing to the bar, mostly just for something to do with himself, Lucifer opted to mix up a drink. âI made assumptions I shouldnât have, we didnât discuss⌠boundaries.â Or anything, really, at all. He wasnât particularly used to that—most of his partners were for a night, two at the most, the only outlier in that group was Eve, and they hadnât exactly been exclusive when they had popped a label on things.
Not to mention she was mostly there for the chaos and sex anyway.
She moved further into the space and made her way over to the bar to meet him, quiet as he talked, listening. No, they hadnât discussed any of that. Giving a sad smile, she moved one of the chairs in front of it out enough to climb up and take a seat, leaning against the bartop with an elbow and her head resting against her hand.
âWe both made assumptions we shouldnât have made, I think.â Or well, no. She had definitely made assumptions she shouldnât have. About where they stood, about how he felt about her, about whether or not he even wanted to be exclusive -- it had been stupid of her to assume that just because theyâd gone on a few dates and kissed that they were suddenly this thing that theyâd been working toward back in LA. Life didnât work like that, and she knew better, but sheâd also just been⌠really hopeful.
âBut I also shouldnât have gotten so upset when weâd never even talked about⌠what we are? I guess?â Her eyes lowered for a moment, looking at what she could of her reflection in the bartop. âI thought it was obvious, at least to me, but she made me realize I was wrong. Does that make sense?â
Lucifer didnât exactly what to point out that what was obvious to her was clearly not the same for him, purely because he didnât exactly experience life the way that she did; she had a finite time, naturally she was drawn towards building something stable and lasting with someone, intimate and clear. She would grow old with someone, or at least sheâd expected to.
That wasnât how things would go for Lucifer. There was no such thing as growing old for Celestials, and while he hadnât really thought about it before Chloe, there wasnât really much of a cause for him to dedicate attention to one person—it was never a permanent situation.
âDetective,â Lucifer trailed off, as the drink was left in the middle of preparation, his hands spreading on the bar while he considered his words; not something he did terribly regularly. âChloe, relationships arenât exactly⌠a strong suit of mine.â Which he knew that she knew, even if she might forget from time to time, especially right now when they werenât in LA and until very recently his club hadnât been present. âHuman relationships in particular are fairly messy,â as evidenced by Chloe and Danâs track record.
And while he wasnât entirely sure if those human constraints on things like fidelity and loyalty were something he was even capable of, given his status as the Devil, the whole seduction and desire thing because part of the package, he knew that what he felt for Chloe wasnât exactly a phase, nor was it the manipulation heâd previously believed it to be.
âBut that doesnât change anything Iâve said,â although she didnât remember that night on the balcony, before he returned to Hell, the words were still true. âThere hasnât been anyone like you, ever. And while my association between sex and emotional connection might not be the same as yours, I shouldâve considered your feelings before ⌠leaping in, shall we say?â If he had, he obviously wouldâve known that Chloe would be upset at the fact that heâd had sex with someone. âAnd for that, I apologise.â
She knew all too well that relationships werenât a strong suit of his. They werenât exactly a strong suit of hers either, given her history. But that didnât change the fact that she couldnât recall him ever actually bringing up having a girlfriend at any point in time -- bedroom partners, sure, but a committed relationship? Nothing about what happened shouldâve surprised Chloe, but sheâd let herself be vulnerable and of course it got her hurt.
âItâs not even a matter of considering my feelings, really, so much as I think we need to establish⌠things more. Like, are we dating? I thought we were, because weâve been on dates, and weâve kissed, and I like holding your hand, you know? Is it casual, is it not casual? I donât know.â She sighed and let the hand that was propping her head up run through her hair instead, giving herself a moment before continuing in her rambling.
âAnd itâs not like I want you to change who you are. Thatâs not the point of any of this, because inherently who you are is who Iâm falling for, you know? I know you and what sort of things you like, and I donât want to be in the way of any of that, but I also donât know if I want to share you with anyone. Which is stupid because I havenât even had sex with you, so how can I even logically be upset about any of this?â
Yep, she rambled, and she talked before really thinking about her words, so once sheâd stopped she felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her. Ugh. Dropping her arm to the bartop, she bent over and let her head rest on it for a moment as she processed what sheâd just said. âIâm sorry,â she finally added, though her words were a bit muffled from the position she was currently sitting in.
Lucifer opted to let Chloe get her feelings out, even if it was in a barrage of words that he had to carefully pick through and slowly work out the meaning behind. He knew that his nature meant there were human tendencies he just didnât understand the same way; intimacy versus sex was a big one that he was still working out after all.
Heâd grown more and more aware of it, as his relationship with Chloe had developed, learning the difference between when people just wanted sex and passion, as opposed to those quiet moments when Chloe just needed company. Hugs were still something of an uncertainty really.
The misunderstanding was at least easy to track now; theyâd gone on dates, shared kisses, given the revelations theyâd both made, itâd been more here. They didnât have the stop start of interruptions that had basically been their stepping blocks in their own world; two steps forwards three steps back thing. There wasnât Mum or Dad getting in the way, Dan having some weird crisis, Maze changing her mind just whoâs fucking side she was one, exâs showing up, asshole murderers proposing to people.
âChloe,â he dropped a hand to catch her wrist where she was resting her head on, âIf you donât want me to sleep with anyone else, I wonât sleep with anyone else.â It wasnât that Lucifer needed to have sex with everyone who walked past him; hardly. Sex was, for many years, the only actual source of intimacy that Lucifer engaged in. With Chloe, it was more than that, more than just âthe best nightâ of a human's life and then never seeing them again.
âI donât really care about the other stuff,â the parties or the orgies or the orgasms, âIâd rather have⌠well, this, whatever it is, with you.â
Despite him holding her wrist, she kept her head where it was at for the moment, listening to him. Her instinct was to question his words -- why would he be willing to give up something that seemed like such a huge part of who he was (at least in her experience with him)? Except she knew he didnât lie to her, even if what he was saying seemed like a balm for her wounds, she knew it was true. He would rather be with her than have the other things. That made her heart thunder in her chest, pushing into her throat a little as she lifted her head to look at him. The question of âreally?â sat on the tip of her tongue, eyes scanning his features, but all she saw was sincerity.
It was hard to argue what he said when she could see it on his face just how much he meant it.
Somewhere in her mind she wanted to laugh and say how stupid they were both being. Her, especially. Being mad was one thing, but purposefully staying away as long as she did was a little extreme, and she knew that. She needed to learn to be more open in communicating with people -- it had always been a weak point for her.
âI want whatever this is with you, too.â He had to have known that by now, right?
There was a time when this would be the moment one or both of them would pull away from it all; go their separate ways for the evening, her to the spawn and him to business, and the following morning the doubts wouldâve pushed up to the top and neither would be prepared to deal with the developments. Sheâd have her excuses (mostly valid) and heâd have his (usually outlandish) and things would halt.
Again.
But he wasnât caught up in the potential that this was all Dadâs stupid game, another way to control him, some divine joke. Theyâd gotten through enough of that, and heâd spent long enough back in Hell to know that, frankly, even if it was Dadâs plan he was at the stage of saying bollocks to it all.
Her own admission coaxed out a rare, small smile, the genuine one that seemed the easiest around Chloe and Charlie if he were entirely honest. He knew that heâd still been half waiting for her to tell him sheâd changed her mind, it wasnât enough, he wasnât enough. âThen I think we can agree, emphatically, that this isnât casual,â if they were going to get to the root of the communication issue, it was better to just go there.
If sheâd known he was waiting for her to say something like that, she would have confessed that sheâd waited for him to say the same. Sheâd seen some of his sexual partners before. How stunning they were. How much fun they all seemed to have. Was she enough for him? Chloe could never be too sure, but he seemed to want this, too.
And now suddenly the bar itself felt like a bridge between them that needed to just not be there right now. Well, shit.
Chloe thought for only a second, knowing that the respectful thing to do would be to just go around the bar to meet him, but she didnât have the patience for that right then. Nope. Fuck it. She pushed herself up using the chair and the bar top and instead of moving down to the floor, she pulled herself up onto the slick surface in front of her, swinging her legs from one side to the other so that she was sitting and facing him, legs dangling over the edge.
She reached out then, hands finding his arms and guiding him closer, moving to wrap his arms around her waist as she sat there. The smile on her face was something peaceful, looking at him. âNo, not casual. Youâre right.â
Moving with Chloe wasnât a hardship. Lucifer had already shifted towards Chloe as she crossed the bar, a hand raised to brace if she toppled or shifted the wrong way, even as her hands found his to pull him in. It was really simple to follow the direction, an arm wrapping around her waist as his other hand easily directed her knees around his waist, leaning in closer to the bar where she now sat.
âThen weâre agreed,â communication, apparently, was the most required aspect between the pair of them, and while he understood why Chloe was perhaps hesitant in voicing her needs, his history of fleeing at the sign of emotional vulnerability and all that, he knew he had to be just as clear. âWe donât see anyone else outside of each other.â
He might notâve done the monogamy thing before, but it wasnât because he couldnât. At least he was fairly certain that it wasnât that he couldnât, just no one had piqued his interest enough to consider it, or in Eveâs case ask for it. Even with Eve, his title of boyfriend had mostly just been symbolic.
âI havenât done this before, though,â leaning some of his weight forward, his nose brushing Chloeâs cheek, Lucifer tugged back a little to meet her eyes, âI can promise you I will not have sex with anyone else, but youâll need to tell me if I get something else wrong.â He wasnât particularly good with connecting the dots of human behaviour, of understanding exactly what he did at what time that caused whatever reaction in Chloe or Dan or Ella. Linda was surprisingly good at explaining it to him at a later point, but he would prefer to not spend a week not talking with Chloe over a misunderstanding.
That seemed to make things about as certain as they needed to be right then. They wouldnât see anyone else; hearing those words from him made the smile on her lips widen, hands reaching up to cup at either side of his face. She knew what she felt for him and even though there was an aspect of it that was completely terrifying, she really just felt over the moon in her happiness right then.
âI promise Iâll tell you if I feel like you get something else wrong, okay?â Her words were gentle, and she looked at his face, trying to read his expression. Of course, he was Lucifer though, and he wasnât always the easiest to read.
Chloe leaned forward just enough to nudge her nose against his, smiling before cocking her head and closing what little distance was left with a slow kiss. Granted, it didnât stay that way. After a moment she shifted to deepen it, finding herself a little more eager right then and savoring the way he tasted. Their kisses had been sweet before, but this was something else entirely -- needy, in a way.
Hopefully it meant the next mix up—because Lucifer was self-aware enough to know he would likely mess up something he didnât understand again later. But for now it felt like theyâd both reached a point where they were both understanding where they stood; boyfriend and girlfriend likely sounded a little trite when it came to a capable detective and the Lord of Hell, but it was probably the most fitting.
Leaning into Chloe, his hands shifting from holding her hips to wrapping around her waist, tugging her that bit closer as their kiss deepened.
It wasnât terribly different from their numerous kisses before, but somehow entirely different all the same. Maybe because it was what theyâd been working towards while simultaneously running from, or just because theyâd hit the same page finally.
Breaking away slightly, but not pulling back, Luciferâs forehead once again rested on Chloeâs, âCan I interest you in a night cap, Detective?â
The kiss didnât last quite as long as sheâd hoped it would; truth be told, sheâd been hoping that maybe it would lead to more, but perhaps it was too soon for that. Things worked slowly between them, it seemed. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but finally being on the same page made her want him all the more.
Patience was supposedly a virtue, though.
Her hands continued to cup at his face, thumbs brushing along his cheeks, against the scruff that he kept closely shaven down there and she sweetly nuzzled her nose against his. This moment right here was something she wished she could bottle to hold onto for the rest of her life. But Chloe smiled in response, resisting the urge to nod so that she wouldnât break their contact. âAbsolutely,â she breathed, brushing her lips against his once more.