It is readily apparent that there a few things, according to your time-line, that I have not yet mentioned to you.
Before anything else is said, I would like to say those things now.
I would first like to apologize for being the most inimitable and incomprehensible ass. You were the kindest person to me, my closest friend, and my actions towards you were so far beyond acceptable that a simple 'I'm sorry' in entirely too inadequate. I cannot explain why I said what I did, nor is there any excuse for it. I cannot express how much agony I've been in since then knowing how it affected you. The only thing left after such an egregious mistake is to ask for forgiveness - however pitiful an action that might be - and hope that perhaps your kindness might once more be extended my way.
Second, you were absolutely correct about who I was, where I was heading, and the horrible influence of those I called friend had over me. I can see now that they were nothing close to friends, as I readily admit I had such an excellent example for comparison - again, I do no know why I turned my back on that. That crowd was hardly worth a second glance, and I should have never been blinded by their acceptance of me. I can say, by way of explanation that, as awful as it sounds, it was good to feel needed by so many - but please keep in mind that if the circus was the only group that accepted me, being at such an impressionable age, I am pretty sure I would have run away with them - the discernment of an adolescent is not always sound. But I can assure you that I am not that person any more, I actually couldn't be more different; however, I will understand if you do not believe me, considering ... well... everything.
So, with that said, perhaps open dialogue would be acceptable?