Oh, you didn't read the [link] ... but of course! Why doesn't anyone ever read the link? So many misunderstandings would be avoided if people just took the time to read the fucking link!
Ok, summary, you were a character in a children's book, every one here was a character in some form of medium, God liked you so much She brought you to life, here. She could have brought you here from any time-line in your story, which means this world is populated with oddly aged characters.
My father is Tobias Snape, which makes you, HAHA, my mother.
Clear? Good! Now we can part, never to speak again. YEAY!