Right! Quickly, do you see that man below me? With the locks of chocolate, and fluttering eyelashes that resemble that of the female persuasion?
Everything he says is a lie. So, if he tells you his name is Remus, or something ridiculous like that, he's lying to you. His real name is Sir Diddymus Duggles.
And he's really a she.
No, I swear to you. You have my word.
Ah, yes, and I'm Sirius Black. If you don't know who I am, then I suppose now is as good a time as any to change that, now isn't it?