wl_mods (wl_mods) wrote in wizard_love, @ 2009-02-26 07:39:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | *fic, harry, luna, ron |
Special Delivery For: midnightblue88
Title: Even a Startled Crockle Needs Somebody to Love
Author/Artist: shocfix
Recipient's LJ name: midnightblue88
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Harry/Ron/Luna
Word Count: 6326
Warnings: slash content
Summary: Ron has family coming out of his ears. Luna is an only child, and she knows how Harry feels. Not that she'd feel him without discussing it with Ron, first.
Authors notes: I don't think I managed to hit a single THING in your request, except for the pairing, so please forgive me and admire the naked boys.
Many thanks to Super!M, my beta of betas.
Even a Startled Crockle Needs Somebody to Love
****
"I have absolutely no sympathy for you," George said, snapping his goggles back on his face and adding a pinch of willow bark to his cauldron.
"I'm glad I come to you with my problems," I muttered, fiddling with the pile of chains beside me on the worktop and dropping them swiftly as they snaked round my wrist.
"You always used to enjoy arguing with Hermione," he pointed out, stirring carefully with a silver rod.
"Bickering with Hermione was different," I said. "And anyway I didn't always enjoy arguing with Hermione; the throwing things and testicle freezing and breaking up was not enjoyable."
"You shouldn't have slept with your wife," he commented. "I told you that at the time."
"Sleeping with my wife wasn’t the problem," I said. "It was sleeping with her before she was my wife that… irked Hermione."
"But now you're all living happily ever after," George said serenely, ducking as purple smoke coiled out of the cauldron. "Hermione is up to her knickers in legislation and down to her knickers with Boot; you're still being baffled by Things Women Say."
"But Luna is nothing like Hermione," I complained. "We don't argue. Sometimes she confuses me in her fantastic, sexy, chaotic way, but she doesn't usually suggest…"
I huffed loudly.
"Most men would give their right bollock for a wife who suggests having a threesome," he interrupted.
"With another bird!" I protested. "Hell, George, if there's one person who should know I'm straight, it's my wife."
"Fine, Ron," he said, taking the cauldron off the flames and decanting the liquid into the waiting phials. "Luna knows how macho you are; Luna knows the extra masculine noise you make when you touch her boobs; Luna chops the wood and watches you, Hazel and Elayne making daisy chains. Ah, maybe that's why she thinks you need a man about the house…"
I snorted.
"She doesn't want Harry in our bed to make me look masculine, or to keep me company," I said. "And I'm perfectly happy with my girls."
"Then enlighten me," George said, corking and labelling his potion. "Why does your wife want her straight husband to sleep with his bent best friend?"
"So I don't feel I'm being left out," I muttered.
George took his goggles off and looked quizzically at me, cupping his good ear. "Left out how, exactly?" he asked.
"So I don't have to sit downstairs and read the paper, once they decide to sleep together."
"Okay, start again," George said slowly. "How have we gone from 'me and Luna have had a fight', to 'because she wants me to ask Harry to have a threesome', to you having a cuppa while they have sex? He's still bent, right?"
I sighed heavily.
"He." I rubbed my palms dry on my trousers. "I assume he is, yes. But Luna…"
"Thinks she can cure him by letting him see your horrible nakedness and jiggling her boobs at him? By buggering him with a Snorkack's Crumpled-Horn?"
"Fuck off, George," I protested. "Luna has no one in the world but me and the girls and she has this thing about family and… she hates that Harry has no one."
"And?"
"And she… she thinks he was only with Ginny so he could have a family, and since she left him… he's not gonna get married, is he? He's bent, but doesn't seem to date anyone. He'll never have anyone."
"And?"
"And she… is gonna offer him a baby," I said in a small voice.
"Where from?" he asked blankly.
"Where d'you think?" I said, gesturing at my belly.
He looked doubtful. "If blokes could do that… well, then Harry could…"
"Not me, you idiot," I said. "She is gonna offer to have his baby, and thinks I should be there… during."
"Bloody hell," he breathed. "But how… when… why?"
"Not sure," I admitted. "That's the moment I called her a stupid cow and stormed out."
"Because…"
"Because she's insane," I muttered.
"To offer… or to think you'd join in… or…?"
"I don't know!" I shouted. "Harry shouldn't be alone, he shouldn't be bent, Ginny shouldn't be with anyone else, they should be popping out their own babies and choosing stupid names for them and then I wouldn't be imagining…"
I stopped, breathing heavily.
"I can imagine," he said.
"It's not funny," I spat. "You can't imagine…"
"Your wife having sex with the most important person in your life?" he interrupted. "Because I never imagine Angie with Fred, do I?"
"Fuck," I said.
He shrugged.
"It's not quite the same, I know," he said. "And it wasn't a threesome, but I'd have been happy for her to have had a kid with him. Our kids are as close as, after all."
"Hmmm," I said.
"So," he said. "Luna wants to do this, and you know how she is, once she sets her mind on something. Would it be worse if they did it while you waited downstairs? What's the most upsetting thing? Not knowing what's happening, or Luna sleeping with Harry, or you sleeping with Harry?"
"Everything," I huffed. "Having a wife who thinks it's a nice gesture to give someone a fucking baby, for fuck's sake; having a wife who thinks I'd… I'd want to… I'd touch… I'd touch bollocks. Bollocks, I have to go home and talk to her, don't I?"
"You're not fourteen," he said. "Not talking to Hermione until someone nearly dies and you can forget all about it isn't gonna work anymore."
"Never worked with Luna, anyway," I said. "I always have to talk things out with Luna; she never lets me get away with crap."
"So," he said, slapping me on the shoulder and steering me towards the fireplace. "Make up with your wife and help Harry have a family. Go home and work out how the hell that'll work."
I gave him a one armed hug, muttered my thanks and stepped into the flames.
And out, in my lounge, to find Harry sitting on the floor, having a dolls' tea party with my daughters.
"Uncle Harry is crap at tea parties, Daddy," Hazel said conversationally. "He doesn't do the voices."
"Language," I said vaguely, accepting the tiny china cup and sitting cross legged beside them.
Harry tried to get up, but Elayne somehow held him down and he sighed and took a carved wooden chicken leg from her offered plate and made hungry noises.
"Say 'thank you', Uncle Harry," Hazel prompted.
"Thank you, Elayne," he said dutifully.
Elayne beamed toothlessly up at him and patted his leg.
"There you are," Luna said, coming into the room with a puffskein on her shoulder and a bundle of firewood in her arms, "I hope you've had a good think. Dinner should be ready in about half an hour, if you start cooking now."
I gave her an 'are you going to explain what Harry is doing here?' look, but she just dropped her wood in the cradle beside the fireplace, and held out her hand for my tiny tea cup. I handed it to her and got to my feet and went into the kitchen and left them to it.
Luna does the best doll's voices and I do the cooking. Well, I was taught by my mum, and she by her dad.
I listened to the murmur of voices while I made dinner. Luna and Hazel were very vocal, Harry made an effort, I was pretty sure Elayne had fallen asleep, leaning against Harry's lap.
He was generally warm hearted but pretty crap with the girls, but it would be nice for him to have one of his own, to be crap with, and he wasn't gonna find some bird, was he? Luna sailed through her pregnancies and could do this for him with minimal effort.
But she wasn't gonna just hand him a new-born and pack him off home, to be crap with it, was she? He was gonna be part of the family. He'd be here during the deed and the pregnancy and the birth and the childhood and the packing her off to Hogwarts and the walking her down the aisle and the babysitting the grandchildren.
It was when I realised I was happily contemplating me and Harry in our sixties, babysitting a combination of red and black haired grandchildren, that I realised I was considering doing it.
I wanted to share my family with him.
Well, I always had.
I know I can be a jealous fool, and feel inadequate, but Harry was queer and Luna wasn't in love with him, and she wanted me to be there, to see that.
That much made sense.
I understood the Harry sharing our bed through to sharing our grandchildren part.
But why did she think that Harry and I should… touch? I suppose it doesn't feel all that good, for a kid, if its parents aren't… 'involved'… Harry and Luna were very fond of each other, but that was all. Maybe she thought he'd stay around… that the kid would have a proper family, if Harry and I were… had…
I'm not an idiot.
He'd never said anything, but he was queer and he'd nearly married my sister. I'm not being vain to say I'm pretty sure it wouldn't take much for him to have… feelings for me. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say it'd take me touching his face and running my thumb over his lips.
Certainly if I kissed him.
Just at the corner of his mouth, where it twitched when he gave me his special half-smile.
So, he'd want… he'd need me to be there.
What about me? What would it take for me to have feelings for him? That was the hardest and easiest question I'd ever asked myself.
Apart from 'should I really be going down on Luna, when I really shouldn't let her reciprocate, because I haven't showered since I left Hermione's bed?'
I had more feelings for Harry than anyone in the world, bar my girls. I love him more than anyone else – including everyone else I'm related to. I'd do anything for him. Could that include sleeping with him? Touching him? Touching him so he could make love to my wife? Touching him. Making him feel good… making him happy.
Sometimes I hate it when Luna makes sense.
Harry wandered into the kitchen just as I was dishing up.
"Luna's putting the girls to bed," he said. "Elayne was already asleep."
"Bed… yes," I said, carefully not thinking of beds with naked best friends in them, being all sweaty and naked and having hipbones.
Harry automatically got cutlery and glasses from drawers and cupboards and I watched him swerve to avoid me and my faggots and thought how nice it'd be having him here all the time. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed living with him.
My wife's brilliant sometimes.
He turned to find me grinning manically at him and raised an eyebrow.
"What?" he asked. "Something on my face?"
"Your nose," I said, mentally shaking myself. "It's hideous."
"No wonder no one loves me," he said, sighing heavily, the corner of his mouth twitching as he gave me his special half-smile.
"Stop fishing for compliments," I said sternly, "and open the wine."
"Ooh, wine," he said, frowning down at the labels, inscribed in Luna's awful scrawl, "are you trying to get me drunk? Dandelion or elderflower?"
"Elderflower," I said, wondering if he always sounded this flirtatious, or if Luna had somehow activated my queerness.
"In honour of my seriously impressive wand," he sniggered, pouring three glasses.
"None for me, Harry," Luna said, coming into the room, sitting beside me and kissing my cheek, "I'm ovulating."
Harry flushed. "Your husband is trying to get me tipsy," he said casually, spearing a parsnip.
"Oh," Luna said, turning shining eyes on me. "Oh, Ron, that's wonderful!"
Harry looked back and forth, between us, frowning slightly, and Luna beamed and nodded encouragingly at me.
"Far better, coming from you," she said. "It'll sound like… a strategy."
I snorted.
"What's far better?" Harry asked. "What are you two plotting? You don't have to get me drunk to ask me anything, you know that. What is it? Take the girls while you go away for a dirty weekend?"
"Almost," I said slowly. "Drink up."
"Ron?" he said, putting his glass down. "What's wrong?"
"Your flat," Luna said.
"You… invited me for dinner so George could blow up my flat, while I was out?" he guessed.
"Your flat is cold and empty and plain and you don't even have a proper kitchen," Luna said.
"You invited me here to insult me?" he asked, taking another drink.
"If we were going to insult you, we'd mention your clothes," Luna said earnestly. "Your flat is full of cold, white, Muggle machines and it isn't a home and it makes me sad."
"I'm sorry?" he said.
"Don't apologise," she said comfortingly. "It's not your fault you don't know how to make it feel like a home."
"I wasn't apologising," Harry said indignantly.
"We don't like you being alone," I said, before Luna could insult his clothes again.
"You're not setting me up with Dennis," he interrupted.
"We're not setting you up at all," Luna said. "We want to give you a home."
"You want to decorate my flat?"
"We want you to get rid of your flat," Luna said, "and make your home here, with us."
He blinked seven times.
"I'm twenty-eight," he said, "not some incontinent old maiden aunt that needs taking care of."
"It's not just the flat," Luna said. "Ron, explain it to him, you know him best."
"It's your idea," I protested.
"You don't think I can look after myself?" he asked.
"It's not that," I said. "We don't want you to be by yourself."
"So, you want me here?"
"Well, yes, I do," I said. "I miss living with you. But that wasn't Luna's main idea."
Harry gave Luna a pointed look.
"There are three sexes of Startled Crockles," she said, "and the third sex don't have young, they help their sisters take care of their chicks."
"You… want a permanent babysitter?" he asked.
"You need a family," she said.
"You're my family," he said. "You don't have to keep me in the spare room."
"If you and Ginny had had children, they'd have been actual blood relatives to Ron's children," she said earnestly.
"I know," he said, smiling bashfully at me. "And that would have been great, but I'm gay, Luna, I'm not gonna have kids of my own."
"You could," I said. "You could have kids that are related to mine."
"How?" he asked.
"I want to give you a baby," Luna said breathily.
"What would I do with it?" he said blankly.
"Drop it, probably," I said, "but that's not the point. She means she'll have your baby. Make one. With you."
"What?" he gasped. "How?"
"I know you know how," Luna said serenely. "Ginny told me you insisted on the potion and the charm, but I'm only a Weasley by marriage."
"You're offering… to have sex with me?" he asked. "Ron? You're offering me your home and your wife?"
"Not to keep," Luna said. "And you couldn't bring up a baby in that flat."
"This is all because of my flat?" he demanded.
Luna opened her mouth to speak, and I stopped her.
"No," I said. "Look, Harry, this was what Luna suggested. She… the only blood family she has left is the girls, and family is important to her. She wants you to have that, have someone, and we don't think you'll go out and find it for yourself."
"A baby."
"A family."
"Of my very own."
"I'm not suggesting I deliver and then deliver it to you by owl post," Luna said. "Although there is a Lactation Charm…"
"Harry," I interrupted, "we want you to live with us; we want you to… sleep with us… knock us up; we want you to stay with us and help me cook and make her dry toast, when she feels sick, and massage her ankles, when they're hideous, and fennel tea, when she's breastfeeding; we want you to take them to the zoo… the children, not the ankles… and to King's Cross in Septembers; we want you to be here to stop me messing things up, when the girls have boyfriends; I want us to baby sit for our grandchildren."
Harry looked stunned and Luna grabbed me and kissed me thoroughly.
"You've… really discussed this?" Harry asked weakly.
"No," Luna said.
"What?" Harry whimpered, running his hands through his hair.
"I told Ron what I wanted to do, this afternoon," she said, "and he got angry and defensive at the suggestion and he stormed out. But he always does the right thing, doesn't he? And he thought things through, and you saw how he'd calmed down. And now he's trying to convince you it's the right thing to do."
She beamed fondly at me.
"Ron," he said quietly. "You want… you said 'we'."
"Absolutely," I said firmly.
"You said 'sleep with us'."
I nodded.
"Us," I said. "Yes."
"You'd…?"
"You're…"
"But you're not…"
"But you're…"
"You don't have to…"
"I… want to."
"You've discovered that, since this morning?" he asked sceptically.
"Yeah…"
"That's completely mental."
I huffed at him.
"Don't tell me what I would and wouldn't do, for you," I muttered.
"Look," he said. "I adore Hermione, but I couldn't sleep with her. You don't know what you're offering, here."
"Yes, I do."
"What."
"Stuff… with you."
Harry glared at me.
"Fellatio," Luna said.
We gawped at her.
"The problem we have," she said serenely, "is that you want Ron and Ron wants me."
"The problem we have is you're both mental," Harry complained. "And I never said I wanted to…"
"You don't have to," she said comfortingly. "I know you do."
Harry flushed and wouldn't meet my eyes and I felt a bit smug and then a bit scared.
"The problem is," Luna said. "Wanting Ron is a tragic waste of your sperm, and Ron wanting me will just get me very pregnant, and waste a whole year of your sperm."
Harry spluttered and I realised how much I was gonna enjoy having him beside me, sharing Luna's observances and instructions.
It'd be even better than our joint spluttering at Hermione.
"I know the ideal solution would be a spell to allow your sperm to pass through Ron, into me, and I've looked into it, I promise."
I gurgled and Harry blinked audibly.
"I thought I'd found something promising in a Japanese text," she went on, as I blushed at the thought of Harry… fucking me and driving me into my wife. "But Hermione talked me out of it."
"Hermione?" Harry gasped.
"I know I don't usually go along with her… methods," Luna said earnestly. "But this was too important to rely on Fuji's translation, because they were rivals and some people think he tried to discredit Ryoma's importance to Tezuka's work, and that Ryoma was really his lover, not just his lab partner, in which case…"
"Luna," I interrupted. "No… sperm passing through me… okay?"
"I know," she said. "And I don't think you're ready for anal sex, yet."
"Right," I said faintly.
"Not receiving, anyway," she explained.
"Luna!"
"It's not as easy as it looks, is it Harry?" she asked brightly.
Harry gurgled.
"But you are wonderful at oral," she said comfortingly. "And I don't think poor Harry should be put in charge of arousing me, after all."
"Um," he said.
"Oh, I'm sure you'd make a decent attempt," she went on, "but I don't think we need to be that intimate. And, Ron, I know you're… distracted when I use my mouth on you, but I hope you've paid enough attention to be able to go down on Harry, because he's not going to maintain much of an erection if I do it."
"Um," I said.
"So, there you go," she said happily.
"Where?" I asked.
"Going down on both of us, so you see how much we need you," she explained. "And then… looking sexy, so Harry can keep it up, inside me."
"Sexy?" I echoed.
"It's alright," she said, patting my hand, comfortingly, "Harry thinks you're sexy."
I looked at my spell shocked best mate.
"I'm not a Startled Crockle," he muttered helplessly.
"We know that," Luna said. "That's why you get to mate and breed."
He blinked.
"So," he said slowly. "I get to… mate and… breed."
Luna nodded and beamed at him.
"You get to… give me a family."
"I'm happy to," she told him.
"Ron?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah?"
"What do you get to do?" he asked. "Apart from sucking cock and not making love to your wife, until she's pregnant?"
"I'm pretty fertile," Luna said. "And I'm ovulating tonight. 'Though, of course, your sperm are an unknown, and don't have a good track record. Neville got Ginny pregnant even 'though she was on the potion."
He set his jaw and stared at me.
"Ron?" he repeated. "Is this what you want?"
"It is," I said. "I know I've only had a few more hours notice than you, but…" I shrugged. "Luna knows me. Knows how much you mean to me… and, you know… stuff. I think it sounds brilliant… being able to give you a proper family."
"But the… the sex?"
"I've done far worse things for you," I pointed out.
Harry laughed weakly.
"Harry, I'd die for you, you know that," I said. "I think I can manage the good half of a blow job."
"Good half?" he echoed.
"Well, I don't get to do the… squishier part, do I?" I said. "Spit or swallow isn't the issue, because apparently you have to come in my wife."
"Oh god," he said.
"Come on, then," Luna said happily, standing up and taking our hands.
"Now?" Harry gasped.
"You're going to have to get used to having sex in a house full of small children," she said. "We've already wasted far too much time, talking. How often are the three of us going to get a chance to be together, without someone needing a drink, or wetting the bed?"
"And that's just me," I said, standing and pulling him to his feet.
He snorted.
Luna looked up at us both and smiled brightly.
"Come," she said, turning and heading for the stairs.
I gestured for Harry to precede me and he rolled his eyes and followed my wife up the stairs and into our bedroom and I trailed after them, watching the tension in Harry's shoulders.
Closing the door behind me, I turned to look at them. Luna let her robes fall to the floor, leaving her in a gauzy chemise that almost covered her arse, showing a glimpse of knickers and stockings held up with knotted garters. Even Harry gulped at the sight. She nodded encouragingly, and he kicked off his shoes and socks and unclasped his robes, revealing boxers and a loose cream shirt, tied with a leather thong at the neck.
Her pale blonde hair spilt over her shoulders and she smiled serenely at him; his jet black hair stood up wildly as he ran his hands through it and his pulse flickered in his throat.
And I was going to make love to both of them.
I removed my own robes, dropping them by the door and unbuttoning my shirt.
Harry sat on the end of the bed, looking back and forth, between us, and a bit lost.
I crossed to Luna and bent to kiss her, automatically cupping her gorgeous arse as she looped her arms around my neck and reached up for my kiss. She was wearing lacy Muggle knickers, which she knows I had become addicted to while I was with Hermione, and I groaned as my fingers slid inside them. She hummed happily and stepped backward, towards the big, cosy armchair at the side of the bed.
She sat down, wide eyed and demure, and I knelt at her feet, running my hands up her thighs and under her chemise, until I reached her knickers, which I tugged down and off as she helpfully lifted her bottom. I parted her thighs and leant forward, catching her mouth in a hungry kiss as I lifted her legs and hooked them over the arms of the chair.
"Oh," she breathed into my mouth, before laying back and gazing hungrily up at me.
My eyes ran down her body, past the tangled blonde hair, the swell of her breasts with shadowed nipples, the few inches of thigh visible above her stocking tops, and stopped at her parted folds.
"Fuck," Harry whispered, behind me, as I leant down.
I was vaguely aware he had moved further up the bed, to watch me, but I tried to focus on Luna, circling her clit with my thumb, before slipping it inside her and leaning down to press a kiss to her inner thigh and breathe in deeply. She sighed happily and settled lower in the chair and my cock twitched hopefully at her scent and I wondered who'd be taking care of it, later.
"He really has got very good at this," she murmured to Harry, twisting her fingers in my hair as I nuzzled and kissed her clit. "Hermione wouldn't recognise him."
"Hey," I protested, raising my head.
Luna tugged my head down and I returned to my most pleasant duty, running my tongue in lazy circles as I thrust my fingers inside her and she squirmed under my mouth.
"More," she demanded. "Suckit."
I smirked as my lips closed around her and I sucked in rhythm with my thrusting fingers, listening to her gasp and mutter filthy directions under her breath.
"NowMerlinfucknowpleaseRonmakemecome," she whimpered, her fingers scrabbling at my face and sliding through her well lubricated folds and between my lips.
I sucked on her clit and her fingers as she wanked in my mouth, one hand still thrusting inside her, one flattened on her belly and holding her down in the chair as she writhed. She arched her back and threw back her head and I looked up at her and watched her come, her shaking fingers fighting off my probing tongue, stopping me from teasing her sensitive skin.
"Fuck," Harry breathed. "Never…"
"Hmmm?" I asked, turning to look at him, my lips wet from Luna's juices, my fingers sliding out of her.
"Never seen a woman…" he nodded significantly. "Like that…"
"Ginny said it wasn't very…" Luna said.
"Turned you straight?" I interrupted, not wanting to think of Harry and Ginny's sex life, nor how bad it had been.
"No," he said. "But it was very impressive."
"Right," I said, getting up to sit beside him on the bed, where we both admired my debauched wife.
Her eyes were closed and her fingers were straying through her curls and she smiled dreamily.
"Right," I repeated. "Get your cock out."
"Ron," Luna chided, opening sleepy eyes and closing her legs, her damp, stocking clad thighs sliding against each other. "A little… finesse?"
"Look," I said. "You and Hermione have taught me not to say things like that to a woman, but I know blokes, alright?"
"Well, maybe Harry…" she nodded significantly and I snorted.
"Because he's queer?" I asked. "It's not as if he… well, if his flat was full of bowls of dried rose petals, we may never have reached this point."
She frowned and I turned to my best mate, who was looking at me fondly.
"Right?" I asked. "You're still a bloke."
"Very much so," he confirmed. "Last time I looked."
"Who has been waiting to get his cock out?"
He flushed and looked away and wriggled out of his shirt and boxers and lay back and his cock looked as nervous as I felt, but I pride myself on rising to a challenge and set to work, to help Harry rise, too.
I reached out and touched it and was slightly surprised that it felt more like a cock than I'd expected; it was hot and the skin was so soft and Harry and Luna both gasped and I looked over at her as I stroked him and her eyes were wide and fixed on my fingers and her lips were parted.
Well, I'd wondered how she'd react when I touched him.
Harry reacted, too.
His cock hardened swiftly in my hand, and the blood it took to power that and his flushed cheeks left his brain starved, because he muttered a string of gibberish, in which I could just about make out the words 'Ron', 'cock', 'fuck' and something that probably wasn't 'hat box'.
He sprawled on my bed, his legs parted, and I lay down between them and lowered my head.
The moment my mouth touched his cock he cried out and buried his hands in my hair, fingers tightening as he struggled not to push my head down and choke me. Not that I have intelligent hair, that can tell what his trembling fingers are doing, but I've been on the receiving end enough times to know the feeling.
The amazing heat and suction and an eel-wriggling live tongue.
Even if it's my mouth, and I don't know what I'm doing.
Harry moaned and thrust into my mouth and it didn’t taste too bad – just like warm skin – and Luna came to sit on the bed and leant against my shoulder and she had a hand clamped between her thighs.
And I felt rather proud of myself; look at me, arousing my two favourite people in the world, at one stroke. I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock and gave it another couple of strokes and he moaned and spread his legs further and Luna murmured, "that's very good, Ron," and I rolled my eyes at her helpful input.
Harry's cock throbbed in my mouth and I thought that maybe I was being too talented for my own good, because I really didn't need to make him come, did I? I sucked slowly all the way up to the tip and looked up at him and he looked amazing. Flushed cheeks and wide green eyes and a lip trapped between sharp teeth and I'd done this to him and I adored him and why had I never done this to him before?
Luna is brilliant; I'm glad I married a Ravenclaw.
"Ron?" he croaked.
"I think I'd better stop," I said, stroking him slowly. "You're not here to have fun, Potter."
Luna tutted, but moved to pile up the pillows against the headboard. This revealed several sex toys, which had been hidden beneath them, and I blushed. Having had my best mate's cock in my mouth not being as embarrassing as having him know that my wife shopped in George's notorious Back Room.
"We'll need some new toys, now," Luna said calmly, gesturing for me to sit against the pillows. "Something from the Rear Entrance range."
Harry blushed. Good to know he was still as easily embarrassed as I was.
Luna kissed me and sat between my parted legs, letting me arrange my cock inside my boxers and against her bum, before lying back in my arms.
"This way you can see Ron," she explained gently, reaching for him, "and he can touch us both."
"Thoughtful," Harry croaked, kneeling between her legs and stroking his cock.
I looked down her body at it and watched it approaching its target and it looked ridiculously big and masculine and… phallic, and my heart beat faster and I wondered how Luna felt, as it pushed inside her, and how I'd feel, if she wasn't lying between us.
As Harry slid inside her, he looked up and met my eyes and I nodded and he was shaking and looking like he'd fly apart, at a touch. Luna moaned and her head tipped back on my shoulder and I reached between their bodies to cup her breast, through her sweat soaked chemise, and Harry thrust and pushed her against me.
"Wow," I said inadequately.
My cock was rock hard and wedged between her cheeks and the friction he was causing was tantalising – never gonna be enough to get me off, but it was Harry and it was Luna and he wasn't even touching me, but he was thrusting and gazing into my eyes, and I once read about this thing where two blokes, both… at the same time… and I wondered if Luna would ever… because the thrusting…
I moaned and thumbed Luna's nipple and reached for the back of Harry's head and pulled him closer and bent my head to kiss him and…
"Daddy!" Elayne's voice called clearly, through the Monitor Charm on her bedroom.
"Fuck," I breathed into his mouth. "Hold that thought, and keep… thrusting…"
I wriggled out from under them, adjusted my erection, and unlocked the door. This obviously wasn’t the first time I'd been needed, half-way through sex, but I usually left a masturbating Luna with a kiss and knew she'd be in one piece, and gagging for it, when I returned.
But this?
By the time I'd found Elayne's stuffed Snorkack – which, courtesy of George, had a mild built in Disillusionment Charm, to make the fucking thing hard to find, which delighted Luna, but almost no one else - and tucked her in and agreed that, yes, it was nicer to sleep at the Burrow, because of the funny noises the ghoul made, and that maybe we could live somewhere with a ghoul, one day…
Hermione says Muggle children have nightmares about monsters under the bed, but my kids find the noise of a monster or two to be a comfort; I think our way is better.
By the time she murmured, "Night, Daddy," and I kissed her on the forehead, and went back down the hall and stood outside my bedroom door, for what felt like a month, wondering if I was actually betraying my wife by kissing Harry, or Harry for giving the kiss I'd had ready on my lips, for him, to my sleepy daughter…
By the time I opened the door I was a nervous wreck, but my wife and best mate were still… docked, and lying on their sides, moving slowly against one another, and they both smiled at me and Luna reached for me and Harry paused and I lay behind Luna and touched her cheek and pushed his hair out of his face.
"Hey," I said.
"We missed you," Luna said, as Harry rolled her onto her back and settled between her parted thighs. She turned her head to kiss me, then placed a slim hand on my cheek to turn mine to kiss Harry.
His lips trembled under mine and he pulled back to look at me with vulnerable eyes. I smiled and ran my hand through his hair and down his back and he shivered and thrust harder. He rested his cheek on Luna's shoulder, his face inches from mine and I leant closer and kissed him again and he watched me as he withdrew and surged into her and I stroked and petted both of them – the curve of his arse, the weight of her breast, squashed beneath him, the dip of her thigh, down to where their bodies joined – as he gasped and thrust and closed his eyes and came inside her.
My Harry.
My best mate.
My how the hell are we gonna explain that Harry is living with us, best mate.
Would it be really cowardly to just wait until Luna popped out a black haired, green eyed baby, and everyone went, 'aha!'?
"Thank you, Harry," she said, as he came up onto his hands and knees and slipped out of her. "That was lovely."
"Um, thank you," he said, looking a bit baffled.
"Any time," she said brightly, grabbing a pillow and placing it under her bottom. "And by 'any time', I mean 'same time tomorrow'."
"Yeah, okay," he said, "What's with the…"
He gestured at her raised arse, his eyes carefully avoiding what was visible between her raised knees and parted thighs.
"Gravity," I explained. "No point expecting sperm to struggle uphill. Especially ones with no proven track record."
"Oh," he said, blushing.
Blushing.
While his sperm Wronski Feinted each other up – or, rather, down – my wife's cunt.
Luna placed a hand on my thigh and nodded at my semi interested cock.
"D'you need someone to take care of you?" she asked.
"I'm okay," I said. "I'm the take carer, this week. D'you need us to stay?"
"I'm okay," she said. "I had a lovely orgasm and some satisfying sex; I'll just have a rest. Why don't you two go and clear out the spare room, so Harry can move in, and then he can go and pack and you can come to bed and I'll do that thing to your…"
"Absolutely," I interrupted, realising there were things between a man and his wife that their gay lover shouldn't hear; at least not on his first night. "I'll clear somewhere for him to sleep and come straight back."
"See that you do," Luna said. "And maybe Molly'll take the girls, tomorrow, so we can organise things."
"Tomorrow?" Harry echoed.
Well, the telling everyone thing was likely to be taken care of, courtesy of Luna's streak of frank and brutal honesty.
"You take it easy," I said, kissing her.
Harry shook his head in wonder, and ducked it to clumsily kiss her on the cheek.
We dressed and left her with her sperm and I wondered how on earth this was supposed to work. But Harry smiled shyly at me as we closed the door, behind us, and I decided it'd be well worth finding out.